A Very One Sided Argument
by Shadowmeld13
Summary: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Slade's returned, the Beast is emerging, and the team is on the verge of collapse. Basically, everything's going to hell. Literally. If only Murphy knew... RaeXBB Chapter 17 up (finally)!
1. Chapter 1: The Villain

A/N: OK, first TT story, just giving it a go. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline.

Chapter 1: The Villain

_Raven hated dreams._

_Perhaps they posed an pleasurable experience for most humans, but the demon's blood within her seemed to attract every shade of darkness possible. When she dreamed, she lived through her mortal fears, and watched in horror the destruction of Earth._

_She winced (well, her dream state winced). Though that part of her life was over, it was best not to think of her role as the Portal._

_ Of course, with powers like hers, living through such dreams was impossible (thank Azar). The monks had taught her long ago how to recognize dreams from reality and remove herself from them before her emotions (and powers) ran amok._

_ But this, this was baffling. She was conscious, and completely aware of herself yet nothing was happening. She was surrounded by whiteness, a whiteness that hurt her eyes. She tried to force herself to wake up, pushing past the barrier of sleep. Nothing. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. Was this some prank of Beast Boy's? Maybe he had put her on sleep pills. Through her tea. _

_ But she knew that that wasn't Beast Boy's style. He would never put her on drugs. Right?_

_ Just as she was wondering if she would just stand here until she died of boredom, a man appeared out of nowhere, dressed in a suit which seemed to swallow the light. It wasn't as if there was nothing and then he was there, or as if molecule by molecule his form became apparent. It was as if his whole being had twisted out of a single point, flooding the whiteness until he existed._

_ Raven didn't recognize him but that didn't mean anything. Azar knew how many new villains were popping up in Jump City._

_ The man took no notice of her, but dusted off his shoulders, gray ash floating around him in a cloud. A black fedora hat perched on his head, but his features were nondescript; he was just an ordinary looking man in his mid-forties, dark hair, tanned skin. _A business man,_ she decided._

_ "Who are you?" she asked, her low voice filled with warning._

_ "What, no greeting, no handshake?" the man asked. He had a very ordinary voice too. He frowned. "Where are your manners?"_

_ Raven blinked. She could sense neither his mind nor the racing of his thoughts. It wasn't a matter of concealment; any practiced magician could block his mind but she should have been able to sense the mind behind the block the same way that you could see the building behind the fence. She probed him again. Nothing._

_ She visibly relaxed, letting it show without care. He wasn't real. Just some strange figment of her imagination._

_ The man inspected his sleeves carefully, then satisfied said, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. I'm afraid I have many appointments to keep. As for who I am, why, I'm the villain, of course." His mouth twisted into a roguish grin._

_ Raven raised a brow. Apparently, she wasn't going to wake up by choice so she was going to have to let this play out. And the sooner, the better. _

_ "I'm not impressed," she said, letting boredom lace her tone. "Aren't you supposed to scare me into doing something since you have me hostage?"_

_ "Well, no," he said. "It's hard to when you're in control," he admitted with a shrug. _

_ "So we're in my head. That was expected," she said caustically. She reminded herself to avoid reading any books with businessman, bankers, or lawyers._

_ "That's not entirely true," he said with a brisk scholastic air. _

_ She resisted the impulse to roll her eyes. Out of all her imagined creations...well, at least he wasn't as bad as her multi-colored emotions and he definitely was better than Beast Boy. _

_ "If we were in your head, we'd be in Nevermore and unless you've recently renovated..." he explained, looking around at their ubiquitous white surroundings. "I've let you take control, and your spirit sought the sanctity of your own material self. A sort of limbo between sleep and reality. Of course," he said, his eyes glittering a strange way that made her shy away from him and caused the first uneasy stirrings in her stomach, "I could take you places where, under certain methods, you would beg to tell me anything. _Anything _and _everything,_" he whispered with a strange emphasis, as if savoring every syllable._

_ "Oh, wait!" he cried and the danger passed, the shadow over his face gone. Raven eyed him warily. "I already know everything! So that's no good." He tapped his chin thoughtfully, staring up into space._

_ She clenched her fists. Her mind was private, like her room. He had no _right _to it! Then the foolishness of her anger hit her. _ But of course, he is my own creation, _she reasoned. _Naturally, he would know everything._ She wanted to groan. Here she was worried about a part of her own mind harming her! Maybe this was worse than Beast Boy..._

_ "I suppose," he mused, "that you would promise me anything, anything and everything." She didn't allow her expression to change, but stared at him blankly. "But you're a smart girl." He gestured to their environment. "You know that this a dream. And any pain that I can inflict upon you is only real as long as you think it is real. So I chose reasonable discussion."_

_ "That's pointless," Raven said. "Why do you think I would ever turn towards you or hear out what you have to say when I've spent my entire life fighting my father's influence? And don't try anything. Since this is _my _mind, you cannot do a thing without my permission."_ _She crossed her arms, staring him down coldly._

_ She wasn't expecting his reaction._

_ He bared pointed teeth in a half-smile, but his eyes burned fiercely. Every part of her tensed, crying out for her to run. For a moment, his gaze bore into her, making her want to draw away. She stood her ground, trying to calm herself. There was nothing to fear from herself._

_ Well, maybe there was. A little four-eyed red cloaked wonder to name one..._

_ Then he dropped his gaze to his fingernails, examining them closely. "My dear Raven," he said in a sickeningly sweet tone. She sensed that he was restraining himself. "For now, I suppose that I'll disregard your blatant disrespect for myself and my position. I'll blame your trying ignorance. But I suggest you realize _this_."_

_ At that moment his gaze shifted up to hers, baleful and superior. She took an involuntary step back._

_ "I can make your life hell before death, and I _don't _need your permission to do it."_

_ With that, the edges of her vision began to suddenly blur. The corners bled darkness which swallowed the mass of white. But two somethings remained undarkened, a pair of glaring eyes flickering with flames. She could feel her heart begin to race and she pushed hard against the barrier to her consciousness and the real world. _Now _was the time to wake. _Now!

_ Then she heard it, from nowhere, a whirling sound which slammed into her, a cacophony of hellish screams, moans, and wails which pierced her ears with a chilling power. _Remove yourself, _she recited silently. But though she closed her eyes, that gaze was branded into her vision and she could not stop herself from hearing those voices. The darkness began to fade, only to be replaced by a light-a flickering light from below._

_ And she fell, fell into the flames and-_

Reality. Raven snapped upwards, the frantic rise and fall of her breath the only sound in the silence. She felt herself reeling out of control, dark energy creeping along the floor like a lengthening shadow in the twilight, enveloping every object in the room from her bed frame to the walls.

She scoured the darkness for any sign of danger, then pressed her forehead against her knees, drawing her legs tightly to her chest.

She felt like a little girl again, thinking that as long as she couldn't see the monsters, they couldn't see her.

She tried to calm her breathing but she could feel her emotions growing stronger, pushing within her, coalescing, shattering the walls she had built to contain them-

The lightbulb overhead exploded in a shower of glass.

-fear, fear, swallowing her like a rabid beast-

Distantly, she could hear the shelves of the bureau rattling, and her bed trembled like a frightened rabbit, like her heart.

_No,_ she told herself. _I can control this. _She took deep calming breaths, reciting her mantra aloud. _Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. _One deep breath. Let it out. Now another.

But she could not erase the image of the eyes from her memory nor could she forget the screams-

_No! Don't think about that. Think about something else. I can control this! _

The large window by her bed made a loud crack like a gunshot as fractures spiderwebbed across it. The large fragments fell to the ground, mirroring the moonlight in gleaming slices, before shattering into dust on the ground.

_No, no. I am afraid but there is nothing to be afraid of. It wasn't _real. _It was all in my head. _

The banging noise escalated.

She tightened her grip on the fabric of her sheets, tightened her grip on reality.

_I am afraid, but I am in control. I can control this. _

Her bed began to shake more violently as if it was caught in a miniature earthquake.

_ I can._

She tightened her fists further, until she felt her nails press into her palms.

_ I _can_._

She struggled to seal the broken barriers, to contain the raw outpouring of emotion. But it was too much.

_I-I _can't.

The bookshelves toppled with a thunderous crash, spilling their dusty tomes and precious books onto the floor. Her bureau no longer gently trembled, it rocked from side to side with an ear splitting thump.

The sound of her friends pounding on the door augmented the banging. She squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn't ready yet.

_Deep breaths, Raven, _she reminded herself. _In and out._

"Raven? Raven?"

She couldn't just lose control like this. What would they think about her and her role on the team? Despite all the coldness, all the emotional distance, all the meditation, she was still unstable. She pushed them all away, under the claim of keeping her powers in check. And it didn't work.

Then Robin's voice, always the authority: "Raven, open up this door!"

"I'm entering the override," Cyborg called. Of course Cyborg would give her a warning. He knew that she had things which she wanted to keep private, much like Robin. Except Robin didn't understand that. At least, not in the same way. She timed her breath and listened for an instant to their silence. Gradually her grip on her sheets loosened and she heard a rattling thump as objects around her, which she had not realized she had been levitating, fell to the ground.

The silence was so sudden.

"Raven?" Cyborg asked. She heard his fingers tapping on the panel. She created a portal through space, and stepped through, appearing right in front of the door just as it opened.

"Friend what is happening? We heard the noise and came running..." Starfire spoke first.

"We thought you were being attacked or something," Beast Boy finished sheepishly. He refused to meet her gaze.

She considered telling them for an instance, her eyes sliding around them. Robin would think there was something wrong with her again, that an emotion had gotten loose or Trigon was trying to contact her; Starfire would think the dream had some deeper emotional connection to it, and would insist on the "girl talk", Cyborg would offer support but it probably had been years since he had dreamed and Beast Boy...well it was hard to say what he would do. He was unpredictable. Definitely try to comfort her. Probably some prank on the others. Or something unexpectedly sweet...she shook off that thought and the confusion it brought.

"No. Everything's fine." She could feel them looking over her shoulders and she wanted to step out and close the door behind her but it was too late for that. She shivered at the cool draft from her window, and automatically pulled her hood up.

"Man," Cyborg whistled .

"Raven, what happened?" She couldn't miss the awe in Beast Boy's voice nor the fear. She could feel it, flickering through his mind at intervals. She hated that fear, hated the feel of it, heavy in the air. She didn't want them to be afraid of her.

Once she had. Once she had hoped that it would drive them away from her. She was dangerous, there was no doubt about it. But she would _never _hurt them.

There was no point in concealing her room. They'd already seen. She drew away from the doorway to her window, looking out across the ocean and the way the moonlight glanced off it. It was much too bright somehow.

"It's nothing," she said, her voice brittle and dry. Emotionless. "My control slipped."

She could feel their stares and was glad her hood was up. Her face burned in shame. What would they think of this? The girl who spent hours devoted to meditation alone and her control had _slipped_? And why did she make it sound so trivial? It was a big deal. Her control was _everything. _Without it... she would break anything in sight. Including people.

Of them all, only Starfire had the gall to fully step within her room. Raven was aware of her kneeling and saying, "We could help you with this mess, friend Raven, if you-"

"No!" she barked and whirled around to see Starfire release the scroll she had knelt to pick up. Raven closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. _Don't snap at Starfire, _she scolded herself. The alien wore her heart on her sleeve and it wasn't hard to see the hurt in those luminous eyes or to feel it stabbing through her emotions for a moment. Raven didn't like the way the others looked at her, as if she was something made of glass which at any moment they might push over the edge. With one false step...

"No, it's fine," she said, moderating her tone so it was softer. It was almost imperceptible from her normal drone but for her small changes spoke in volumes. "Just leave it; I'll deal with it in the morning."

"Alright, Raven," Cyborg said, raising his hands. He kept his voice low and soothing, for her sake. She could already feel a headache throbbing in her temples and her ears were still ringing from all the banging from earlier. He backed slowly out of the room, giving her a meaningful look. A look which meant 'Meet me in the garage tomorrow and we'll talk.' She could feel his urge to comfort her in his brotherly way but it wasn't comfort which she needed. She needed solutions. She needed to unravel the puzzle. "C'mon, BB."

The shapeshifter looked at her thoughtfully. It was a strange expression to see on his face, but the worry which was clearly etched there wasn't. Worry, pity. She didn't want any of that.

"Good night, Raven," he said.

"Yes, have the good night, friend," she heard Starfire say.

And that left Robin, lingering. She had expected nothing less.

Raven could see his outline, leaning on the door frame, arms crossed. "It wasn't anything with Trigon, was it?" That was Robin, right to the point, though she could feel his concern, too.

"No," she replied without hesitation. She recognized her father's presence beyond a shadow of a doubt. "Just a bad dream."

His gaze seemed to soften, though it was hard to tell from behind the mask. It was more his stance and voice that showed it. "You'll tell us if something like that was going to happen again, right?"

"It's over, Robin, it's done," she said in clipped tones, her voice tinged with weariness. "I would tell you." She looked back at her alarm clock which (thankfully or unfortunately) had not been smashed to pieces. "It's late and I want to get some sleep." That was a barefaced lie and he knew it. How she could get sleep after a dream like that...

He nodded slowly. "Alright. Get some rest. Training's cancelled for tomorrow." On account of her.

"Good night," she said as he turned and left. She slid the door shut when she was sure he was gone, and let her head sag forward until her forehead kissed the cool metal, her hands pressed against its frame.

How had this happened? She had trapped herself in a dream of her own creation. Not only had she been unable to break free, her powers had gone haywire and wrecked her room.

And now...she could feel so many emotions swirling within her, barely restrained. She would wreck the Tower if she kept going at this rate.

Was Rage capable of something like that? Perhaps that man had been Rage...she doubted it. Emotions were emotions, pure unadulterated forms, and, well, as said emotion put it, Rage wanted nothing more than to "consume" her. So why go through the disguise? Rage didn't _do _trickery; it just wanted to overcome her with sheer power.

She carefully stepped to her bed, hearing the glass beneath her feet tinkle into gritty sand. There was nothing to be done about the window until tomorrow. With a burst of energy, she levitated a fallen bookshelf over. The shelf wobbled in its flight and when she tried to set it down gently it crashed to the ground with an earsplitting thump. Raven almost cursed. Her powers were unreliable now. Which meant physical labor. She signed but leaned her shoulder against the shelf and pushed it against her window frame to keep back the draft.

And then she climbed into bed and let her mind toss and turn. There was no going back to sleep. She could feel every muscle in her body taut, convinced of an imminent attack. She looked at the clock.

2:56.

If she could just allow her mind to relax, to drift...

The burning eyes opened up in her memory, and the bed trembled threateningly. _Keep calm, _she told herself. She sat up carefully and seated herself in the lotus position, trying to find her center. No thoughts. No emotions. Nothing but stillness. But the darkness against her eyelids only mimicked the darkness which had engulfed her and quickly turned to flames-

_Don't _think_ that, _she told herself sharply as the bed frame gave another quiver.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos," she murmured. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos."

She was far too close to the edge. She needed to bury her emotions again and bury them deep before-

There was the sound of paper shredding and Raven sighed inwardly.

There was no meditation at this point. Not in the dark, so she let her thoughts race and flood her mind with questions.

Perhaps she was harming herself. Why? Did she feel guilty about something? Maybe there had been some passerby who had become involved in one of their many battles against crime. Maybe someone had died.

That seemed unlikely. As far as Raven knew their record was clean. They'd always managed to keep the people around them safe.

But if she was beating herself up over something she felt guilty about, then how could it have been her? She had never seen that man before in her life.

It wasn't really the normalcy of the man, or the conversation that bothered Raven. She didn't understand why she hadn't been able to wake up. She had had nightmares since she was a small child, partly because of the stories of the prophecy, and partly because of her father's blood. After destroying a good section of her room (and the temple), the monks of Azarath had concentrated on teaching her how to exit her dreams. Before she learned it, one of them was her guardian, and pulled her mind to consciousness at the first sign of danger.

But then she had mastered it.

She had found herself on Earth, at the end of all things, gazing at the frozen stone faces of those who would die because of her.

And she had woken.

She had seen her father's face leering down at her from a throne of thorns amidst a fiery landscape.

She had escaped from those dreams, too.

Not that they hadn't disturbed her; they had. But never to the extent that she had completely lost her control.

The only time Raven could remember losing her control because of fear was after she had watched that movie, _Wicked Scary._ Maybe she was dark, and maybe she was creepy, but apparently she _did _do fear. Then she had been denying it and that had created that horror scene in the Tower. But in the dream, there had been no denial. She had _known_ she was afraid.

Besides, she had been scared countless times: when Rage had freed itself while Beast Boy and Cyborg were still in her mind, when Titans' tower had almost crashed down on them, when Slade had come back to force her to do Trigon's bidding.

Scratch that. She hadn't been scared. She had been terrified.

What was the worst that had happened then? Her control had slipped briefly. Maybe she'd let loose her demonic side for a moment. But never to the point where every flicker of emotion caused a shift in her powers. She hadn't been like that since she had been a little girl.

_And so I've come full circle, _Raven thought bitterly. She let her head fall down on her pillow with a whump and turned on her side to check the time. Maybe it would be sunrise soon and she could meditate on the rooftop...or get some real sleep. For some reason, the light always made her feel safe, less vulnerable...

3:02.

She wanted to scream. Her gaze locked on the ceiling above her, barely visible in the cool moonlight. The bookshelf had thrown a deep shadow over her, and she was starting to wish that she would just let the moonlight flood her room...

She rubbed her eyes. What would the other Titans do? She snorted. Robin would destroy the training room. Starfire would turn on all the lights in her room...

Raven's eyes shot open. Why didn't she just turn on the light? It was such a childish thing to do, but just this once...The only other alternative was to bang on someone's door and beg to sleep there...she would never do that. She didn't trust herself to flick the switch with her powers so she pushed off the covers and threw her legs over the side of the bed before she remembered that she had shattered the bulb earlier.

She groaned, and sank back beneath the covers. She was losing it.

Her body cried out for sleep but her mind felt as sharp as a knife edge, too aware, too conscious. Too afraid.

But it was peaceful and warm beneath the covers. She could hear the soothing murmur of the waves crashing down at the beach...even the cool breeze felt nice. Her eyelids began to drift shut of their own accord.

_I can make your life hell before death, and I _don't _need your permission to do it, _hissed his voice from a scrap of memory.

She did not sleep until dawn.


	2. Chapter 2: Angelus Non Est

A/N: Alright, this was an incredibly quick update, if I do say so myself. But don't expect

these quick responses. I just happen to have a decent portion of this story mapped out and

written on paper, but after that, I'm going to be working in the dark. Also, school is crazy,

though college apps are done and everything, but sports are starting up for spring and that's

pretty demanding.

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing but the storyline.

Chapter 2: Angelus Non Est

Raven entered the kitchen to the usual breakfast routine.

Cyborg had donned an immaculate chef's hat-his pride and joy, and he was frying something on a pan. He'd stopped wearing his "apron of manliness" after Beast Boy had sent a few blackmail pictures to the Titans East.

"Mm, mm, mm, mm, _mm, _bacon _and _sausage! It doesn't get much better than this! Want some, Raven?"

That was his common courtesy. The day she said yes was the day the world ended.

Well, no, actually, that was the day she made breakfast.

"Just tea," she replied. She set the water to boil and placed a teabag in her favorite mug. Then she leaned against the counter and opened the book under her arm to where she had marked it, doing her best to ignore the proceedings. She knew what was coming next, it always happened the same way...and the cheeriness in Cyborg's voice was giving her headache.

She snorted. That wasn't fair. It was _aggravating _her headache, not _causing _it, mainly because she really wasn't a morning person. At all.

Something sped by her in a blur of black, purple, and green, the wind from its pass tugging at her cloak and hair. _And cue Beast Boy, _she thought. She could hear the cupboard doors rattling around her in his frantic search. She looked up briefly to see a dejected Beast Boy open the fridge three times in a row as if expecting something to magically appear. She pressed her fingers to her brow as if she could contain the pounding on her skull. She couldn't handle this right now.

"Duuuuuude," Beast Boy whined after opening the fridge for the fourth time (Raven's eye twitched). "Where's the tofu?"

The pan seemed to sizzle excessively. Raven lifted her gaze to Cyborg's broad back; she couldn't see it, but she could imagine the crazy grin on his face.

"I threw it out, man," came the reply. "It was stinking up my fridge."

"_Your _fridge?" Beast Boy demanded, wheeling around to face the chef. "I have rights to this fridge. It's the Titan's fri-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Cyborg cut him off. " 'Cause that explains why you take up half of it-"

"Oh yeah?" The changeling's voice was rising frantically in pitch as he fumbled for a comeback. "Well, next time I'll just throw out your meat. So there!" He folded his arms triumphantly and Raven resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

Well, maybe she didn't resist.

"Good luck with that, grass stain. You won't find any of my meat just sitting there. Do you know why?" He turned and leaned towards the shapeshifter with a manic grin. "Because _everybody _else eats it. Even _Raven _eats it."

"Leave me out of this," she said automatically, returning her gaze to her book.

"That's because she's never tried the tofu goodness," Beast Boy cried, vaulting over to her. "C'mon, Rae-"

"Rae-ven," she muttered, but he ignored her.

"-once you try it you'll never want to taste meat again! You know you wanna!"

"Beast Boy," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "haven't we broken enough windows this week?"

Her threat didn't seem to faze him. His shining eyes were full of a vitality and energy that she could never match, even on the best of days. Imploring. Begging. He always seemed to be begging.

"See," Cyborg called over, scraping the bacon and sausage onto a plate. "_Nobody _eats tofu."

Beast Boy abandoned his entreaty, puffing up his chest and pointing to himself with his thumb. "_I_ eat tofu!"

"I know, that's what I said-_nobody._" The changeling instantly deflated.

"Dude, what if that was me?" he tried for a different approach.

"I'd say, mmmmmm, green steak, a little chewy, needs some sauce," Cyborg replied.

"That's gross!"

"I'm kidding, man."

_And cue the face..._she thought absentmindedly.

Sure enough, she looked up and glimpsed him, pulling the skin down from his eyes, and hanging his tongue out in a grotesque manner. Cyborg began to happily wolf down all the sausage and bacon while Beast Boy ran around him yelling, "Cannibalism!" at the top of his lungs.

"Mmmmm, that was good!" Cyborg said when he had finished, ignoring the changeling's glare. "I'll whip up another batch!"

"Oh no, you won't!" Beast Boy cried, grabbing the pan.

"Do you see this?" Cyborg asked, that dangerous glint returning to his eye, as he pointed to the chef's hat. "It means _I'm _the chef. _I'm _the cook. And nobody wants your nasty soybean products anyway." She heard grunting and the sound of struggling. Cyborg was laughing and holding the changeling's forehead in a massive palm, while Beast Boy's arms windmilled around his head in a wild attempt to grab the hat.

"Green bean!"

"Tin can!"

"Grass stain!"

"Soda machine!"

"ELF!"

"CANNIBAL!"

Every sound seemed magnified, too loud. She realized that she had read the same line six times over and was getting nowhere. She snapped the book shut angrily and Beast Boy and Cyborg froze, looking at her with wide eyes. But they were both off balance and they fell over with a loud _oof!, _the chef's hat rolling off Cyborg's head towards Starfire's feet.

The alien girl looked at the sight of Beast Boy and Cyborg rolling on the floor wrestling as if it was heartbreaking. Which it wasn't. It happened practically every day, and didn't seem to damage their relationship at all. But Starfire feared the drifting of friends, and apparently there was some special Tamaranian word for it (which Raven couldn't pronounce).

"Please friends, do not fight."

"We're-oof-not fighting Star," came Cyborg's reply as he attempted to pin Beast Boy.

"No, we're-we're-hey, that's cheating! No wedgies allowed!"

Starfire, satisfied, noticed the hat at her feet and picked it up, looking in it curiously. "Please, friends, what is this strange object? Is it a bag of the barf?"

Cyborg and Beast Boy both stopped their struggling to look at Starfire with disgusted faces. Even Raven turned around from her position at the couch.

"Star, that's gross," Beast Boy whined from his headlock.

"Yeah," Cyborg agreed. "And I would never use my toque for that."

"Toque?" Beast Boy asked. "You're such a woman."

"And you're a-"

But exactly what Beast Boy was, they never heard as Raven spoke coldly from the sofa.

"Keep. It. Down."

"Then, friends, if you could please convey the meaning of this…object?" Starfire asked sweetly.

"Sure, Star," Cyborg said. "Whoever wears it…is…the…cook." The full realization of what he'd just said dawned on him and his mouth dropped open in horror.

After all, this was Starfire, the girl who had to have a crate of mustard in the pantry for "emergency" purposes, and who made things come to life with her culinary skills.

The only thing to do would be to let Starfire cook and, you just couldn't say no to Starfire. Just considering a no while looking into those heartbroken eyes…it was a bad idea to hurt her feelings. Your conscience would eat you alive. Raven sighed and let her head drop into one hand. She couldn't even focus today. She didn't bother to open her book again. Instead she listened to her friends bickering. If only she had slept a little better….

"Star!" Cyborg made a wild grab for the hat but fell over as the alien proudly fit it onto her head. Beast Boy rolled on the ground, holding his midsection, laughing wildly.

"I shall do the cooking deeds today!" Starfire announced with her typical jubilance. "And do not worry, friend Beast Boy. I shall make the vegetarian meal just for you." The laughter stopped.

"Star, you don't have to do that," Beast Boy said frantically. "I'm…full!" He patted his stomach.

"You have broken the fast?"

"What?" Beast Boy said with usual tact. "You mean breakfast? Oh-um, no, but-"

"Then fear not! Food is on the way, friends!"

The only good thing about this scenario was that she wouldn't be obliged to eat any of Starfire's food. The alien knew by now that Raven didn't eat breakfast, so she could just watch her friends suffer through the meal.

She sensed Robin approaching, calm and unruffled. He reached over and snatched the hat off Starfire's head.

"Don't think so…looks like I'm cooking today." Beast Boy and Cyborg wept tears of relief. Starfire was wearing her pouting expression, her equivalent of Beast Boy's kitten face, which was twice as effective on boys-make that just Robin. Said boy whistled and the pan sizzled again.

"Perhaps next time?" Starfire asked in a quiet voice.

"Of course, Star," Robin said after a moment of hesitation. She heard Beast Boy snicker and saw the Boy Wonder's face turn crimson.

She turned away from the kitchen and looked out the window across the water. The sea sparkled brilliantly, and there wasn't a wisp of a cloud in sight. These were the days which Raven secretly loved, but she couldn't help but feel something hanging over her, and preventing her from properly enjoying it. Something like that dream…

"Hey, Rae, are you okay?" a voice asked, from right near her ear. She jumped, and somewhere in the kitchen, something cracked.

"I'm fine," she replied in her usual monotone but her heart was going madly.

"Are you sure?" Beast Boy asked, flopping his head over the couch so that he was looking at her upside down. "You haven't called me stupid yet, and you only told Cy and I to shut up once!"

"Cy and me," she corrected him automatically.

"You and Cy?" he asked, clearly perplexed, his brow wrinkled. "You and Cy did what?"

She almost facepalmed. Why was he so stupid sometimes?

"Nevermind," she huffed, refusing to look at him.

Maybe that dream was a warning. As far as she knew predicting and prophesying were not in her line of talent but then again she had never known that she could stop time. And her powers were always developing. Maybe it was some warning of the future…Maybe something bad was about to happen…

"Hellooooo-ooooo," came Beast Boy's voice. She blinked and realized he'd been waving his hand in front of her face for the past minute. Somehow he had twisted his body over the couch so that he was sitting next to her. "Earth to Raven, come in, Raven."

_Focus! _she reprimanded herself. _Just because you've barely meditated and barely slept, that's no excuse..._

"I heard you," she snapped, pushing his hand away from her. "And I threatened to throw you out the window, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but usually you don't warn me, you just _do _it," he said.

The playful spark left his eyes and he considered her more seriously. "Does it have to do with-last night?" he asked, keeping his voice low for her benefit. She looked at him wonderingly. Her rarely looked so…grave, so mature. "Do…you want to talk about it?" Even with the new maturity, she couldn't miss the hope in his voice.

Raven normally didn't let her emotions show on her face but she could feel a flicker of surprise cross her face and she knew Beast Boy would notice. He always noticed little things like that, and she could never figure out why.

"No." A flat out refusal so he wouldn't argue.

But he did anyways.

"Are you sure?" he asked again, his eyes sparking with concern.

"Why else would I have said it the first time, Beast Boy?" she asked. "Do you want me to repeat it multiple times so it'll get into that thick skull of yours?"

The pounding on her head intensified with an overload of information as she felt an emotion overcome him. She couldn't quite identify it, but it was incredibly powerful. Anger, maybe. Or sadness.

She waited for him to slink away like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. He would have that crushed look for a while until he forgot about it. And she would have another guilty mark on her conscience.

"Raven," he said gently, and his voice was strange. It didn't sound like Beast Boy's. It was so...

"Raven, you know that we care for you right?"

She gave him a curt nod.

"That we'd never hurt you?"

Again the nod. It was all she felt capable of.

...it was almost like the feeling from...

"That you can talk to us, that you can talk to me about anything?"

"Yes," she said, quickly, seeing where he was going. "But you're blowing it all out of proportion. I had a bad night, I had nightmares. It isn't the first time, and it won't be the last."

"But something was different." He was frowning now, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"Yes, but-"

"And you lost control like you never have before?"

She didn't like where this conversation was going, it was reeling out of her control. _Just like my powers._ "I've lost control many times."

"But never like this."

"How do you even know what you're talk-"

Why couldn't she place that feeling...? She was an empath for Azar's sake, who had seen much of the world and read the emotions of thousands of people. Anger, hatred, grief, jealousy. Why couldn't she read this one?

"It isn't healthy, Raven, for people to bottle things up, even you. I know that that's what you work so hard at-keeping your emotions hidden, but it isn't good for you."

"How do you know?" she snapped. _He tells the world how he feels everyday from how lousy and tired he is to how happy he's feeling. What does he know about keeping things hidden? _"You're the one who's excessive in your display of emotion. That may be you, but it _isn't _me."

_Calm down, Raven,_ she told herself as the couch beneath them rattled a little. If Beast Boy noticed, he didn't say anything.

He looked out the windows, out at the ocean and the clear day, but his eyes were distant and pained. Very suddenly his face had morphed from that of a child's to an adult's.

"Beast Boy?" she asked worriedly, her anger temporarily forgotten. His eyes focused on some distant point and then returned to her. Something fluttered in her stomach at the intensity of his gaze.

The eyes are the windows to the soul, and she was seeing in Beast Boy's something which she had never seen before, something which she didn't think the team had ever seen before.

"I know," he said softly, and a touch bitterly. "I know what it's like, Rae, and it isn't good."

She was frozen for an instance, looking at him. The way he was clenching the muscles of his jaw line. The piercing quality of his gaze, which he had always had, but now seemed a thousand times magnified. And she still couldn't quite identify that feeling...

She closed her eyes to regain her calm and quiet her nerves. When she opened them, she spoke the words as coldly and without feeling as she could.

"You assume that the dream was something serious, that it had a deeper meaning." _Isn't that what you've been seeking all night? _whispered a sly voice in her head. She ignored it. "It just startled me, and that triggered an emotional response which in turned triggered my powers. That's it. There's nothing else."

"That's what you told Robin, too," he said.

"Because I was-you were eavesdropping?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing. _He is so dead. _

Now she recognized this-shame. He rubbed the back of his neck, and she heard more of the tone of the Beast Boy she knew, when he was caught pranking somebody.

"It was unintentional," he argued. "I-I can't help it. I know you're angry, but I-I _tried _not to, but it just..." He trailed off lamely.

Angry. She considered this briefly. She wasn't angry.

She was furious.

"I just-I feel like you need to open up to someone," he said. She rose up from the couch stiffly, moving away from him as quickly as possible. He grabbed her wrist delicately, holding her in place.

"You've _never _lost control of your powers when you're sleeping and I'm pretty sure you've had plenty of nightmares," he said quickly without taking a breath, still keeping his voice down as not to attract the attention of the other Titans.

She jerked her hand from his grasp.

Anger.

"And then you won't even talk about!" he called after her. She stopped and turned her head.

"Once again you show the IQ of a worm," she said coldly, fuming internally. "I've told you three or four times that there's nothing wrong and you're not listening. So let me tell you again. It. Was. Nothing."

She could feel the ground shaking in minute amounts, from her trembling.

_Get away, now,_ she warned herself. She lengthened her stride. Red colored her vision briefly, and she realized in horror that she was not shaking, the floor was, and it was her own doing.

"Raven, wait!" She heard him leap from the couch, and felt his hand, warm and comforting, on her shoulder.

She could hear the pulse of her blood thudding in her ears like a war drum as fire coursed through her veins.

Before he could speak, she felt the other Titans' gazes on them. She had forgotten that they were in the room. Her embarrassment only added to her anger.

"So..." Cyborg said. The boys were grinning with that knowing look in their eyes. Starfire looked amused, her eyes moving between Raven's and Beast Boy's faces. She felt Beast Boy squeeze her shoulder but his attempt to comfort her only made her hate him more-

_No, no, I _don't _hate him, _she told herself. Then: _I haven't meditated. I need to leave now._

"Are you guys done with your little lovefest?" Cyborg asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Beast Boy's hand dropped abruptly from her shoulder.

"It's not a lovefest!" they both cried in unison. She hated that look like they saw something she didn't, she hated that stupid smirk on Robin's face-

_They know nothing. _ _I'll teach them_. It was her own voice, but it was the voice of that one part of her which she struggled to contain. The toque which had been returned to Cyborg's head incinerated into a pile of ash.

All she could see was red.

"Just tell me what's going on," Beast Boy begged quietly, so only she could hear. "Before it gets worse-"

The rage that jolted through her was uncontainable.

She snapped.

"NO!" she roared, wheeling around. And she was gone, replaced by the other. The other that wanted nothing but destruction and murder. Her mouth twisted into a feral grin at the thought of the tortures she would inflict on him. How dare he anger her, how dare he waste her time on foolishness. He would pay-

Her grin turned into a snarl. Why wasn't he cowering? She was towering over him, pure darkness, pure evil, but he was standing his ground, his fists clenched at his sides.

Out of all the yelling in the room, she could only hear him.

His voice was gentle but strong. "Raven, stop this."

It struck a chord deep within her, and she regained control, shrinking back to normal size. She shied from her powers, which were like lightning dancing through her mind. To reach for them would be risky-

So she ran.

She heard Cyborg asking Beast Boy, "What did you do?" and Robin saying sternly, "You should have laid off her today of all days. You knew she was having it rough."

"I didn't mean to..." came Beast Boy's reply.

She locked the door to her room and then the answer came to her so plainly, so clearly, so obvious.

Sympathy.

He had felt bad for her.

It wasn't that the other Titans hadn't felt bad for her, but this seemed so deep, so personal, as if he had experiences of his own which could relate to hers.

She knew that that wasn't true. He would never understand her. How could he? She was the dark, creepy telepathic half-demon, whose only outlet was reading and who never ever showed feeling. She couldn't afford to. There was the fact that her powers would go haywire and also that it was so deeply ingrained, that she couldn't see herself acting any other way. It wasn't as if she was caging herself; this was who she was now, and nothing about her would change.

So why was he always pushing her buttons? When she said no, he kept saying yes until she pushed him away physically. He always begged her to do things she didn't like, which he knew that she didn't like, and he never stopped with the jokes. Incessantly chattering away in her ear. Trying to make her tea, or bringing her food (though said food was almost always tofu).

There was no knocking on the door. She didn't sense anyone else's mind nearby, although Beast Boy's mind had a slippery quality to it due to its animalistic nature and often escaped her notice. Good. She was glad that he hadn't come. That would have just made everything worse…

_Then why am I so disappointed? _she frowned, ignoring that thought and took up her usual meditation position. Thankfully, Cyborg had already managed to replace the window in her room (they had a lot of spare windows) and she had swept up the glass on the floor, but there were still shelves to right and books scattered on the floor. Her room was a mess and she hated messy, but she didn't trust her powers yet.

So she meditated.

Deep, sweet breaths…

In…

…and out…

No thoughts….

No emotions…

Her mantra rolling off her tongue without thought…

Azarath…

Metrion…

Zinthos...

Blankness expanding, filling her mind, erasing everything, like a fresh sheet of paper, white, blindingly white. Untouched. Pure.

And the blankness was spreading to her vision, consuming it piece by piece until the white had swallowed the black.

Raven took another deep breath, timing it with her pulse, then drew up short, letting out the rest of her air with a low huff. Something didn't feel quite right. Something felt off. In fact, she couldn't sense any of the others at all, nor could she feel that turmoil which she had been restraining from her powers before she wrecked everything…

Her eyes shot open and she scrambled to her feet, heart thudding just at the sight of what was around her.

White everywhere, with no escape.

She was surrounded by whiteness, a whiteness that hurt her eyes.

She was asleep, and back in the dream.

She calmed herself, and, driving a wedge against it mentally, pushed the barrier of sleep to force herself into the waking world. What if she saw everything as it had happened before-_no, don't think that! Wake up! _

She gritted her teeth, but the bubble around her just stretched and then snapped back towards her like a rubber band when she rested. Normally it was as thin and delicate as glass and she could just shatter it but not today. Nor yesterday.

A low cough reached her ears, far too close, and she wheeled around, raising her hands to defend herself.

And there he stood, _right there, _not five feet from her, smiling in greeting. As ordinary as usual. He was pushing that dust off his shoulders again and had extended his hand for her to shake-

She took an involuntary step backwards before she steeled herself.

_I will _not _fear this. He's not real. _

She checked again mentally, just to be sure. No mind. He still wasn't real. It was all in her head.

But when he took a few steps towards her, she was only able to stand there for a moment before instinct took over and she stepped in time with him, but backwards. Let him keep his distance.

"Raven, Raven," he tsked softly. "Not too trusting, I see." He looked at his hand as if it might have something strange on it, or as if it might be dirty, and then held it out towards her again. "It's just a handshake."

She gave him a steely look.

"Alright then," he said a little sadly as he dropped his hand. Then he approached her quickly, his face twisted mischievously as he held out his arms. "How about a hug?"

He was too close, before she danced away from him and then he was gone in the blink of an eye. His chuckles reverberated in the mindspace around them.

She whipped around and there he was, much further back, laughing heartily. "I know, I know," he admitted, holding up a hand before she could speak. "You have a large personal bubble and you're not touchy-feely. But it was worth a shot, right?"

Raven felt a stirring within her, an unconscious fear growing in her breast. She closed her eyes for a moment. Why was she afraid? What had triggered this…?

A strange smell had wafted over her when he had been closer, not of cologne, or sprayed starch, or even of sweat. No, it had been a strange, but familiar smell…the smell of ashes and fire. The smell of brimstone.

She knew then what she was dealing with.

A demon.

A/N: Ha, ha! How many of you saw _that _coming? Anyways, thanks to the only person

who reviewed so far (you know who you are). If I don't feel that people like this story I may

stop writing it…so please review! :) And if you have any questions about it so far, critiques,

comments, etc. well, you know what to do!


	3. Chapter 3: Purgatory

A/N: Ok, so this chapter's kind of short. I wrote a long part of what was coming after (which you should see some of in the next chapter) but it came out horrible so I decided that it needed a rewrite. I'll insert it into the next chapter. Anyways, here it is.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Teen Titans.

Chapter 3: Purgatory

_ So this was what it had come down to. She was going to pay for her father's sins. It didn't matter that it hadn't been her; they shared blood and that was justification enough. Raven had always known that she would have to pay, one way or another, but she had always envisioned herself living a happy life on earth, and suffering an eternity in hell._

_ Apparently, life didn't work that way. She was going to suffer in life and in death._

_ The worst part was that this was all self inflicted. She was certain of it. She still could not sense the mind of the demon, and she had always been able to sense her father's mind. Trigon was the most powerful of all demons and most likely to be able to conceal himself from her, but he never could. And this demon before her couldn't either._

_ And if there was no mind, there was no existence._

_ He was still her own creation._

_ Purgatory. Wasn't that where they burned away all the sins so that the person could go to heaven? It was supposed to be an excruciatingly painful process, but if the soul wanted to move on to better things then it was a chance that they would take. But that didn't apply to her. It was a sin that she had even been born; she would have no second chances. If she went through purgatory, her whole being would be burned away, and she would no longer exist._

_ So now she would have to endure the torment of life, without the benefits of afterlife. _

_ He leered at her, savoring her reaction, and she was terrified. _

_ Demons didn't scare her any more than villains did because they were dark and evil. No, it was because they were the one part of her which she tried to deny, the part of herself which she fought. Everytime she looked upon them she was looking upon her own potential future. _This _was what was within her, waiting for when she lost control. _This _was what was raging within her, straining its bonds, searching for freedom and probing at every chink of her armor. _

_ And when she could not contain it anymore, this was what she would become._

_ She feared that more than anything else._

_ And he knew it. _

_ She had thought Trigon was dead, and gone, but perhaps in the back of her mind she'd always known that some shred, some scrap of fading shadow still existed, seeking to reestablish itself in the deeps of hell. Perhaps he had sent this demon...no, that couldn't be it. This demon didn't exist! So why was she doing this to herself?_

_ "I'm quite real, Rae," he said softly, his face becoming still. _

_ Her whole being rebelled at the use of the nickname._

_ "Don't call me that," she snarled._

Maybe Trigon had...maybe Trigon had...

_ She couldn't join the two lines of thought. There simply was no explanation. _

_ She saw the demon's face widen in surprise. "Oh no, no, no, no!" he exclaimed jovially, wagging a finger at her. "He's a demon in the physical and I-" at this he bowed elegantly, doffing his hat- "in the spiritual. Very different, though once related."_

_ "If you're real, then why can't I sense you?" she challenged him, lifting her head. She almost cursed herself for letting her voice quiver. She needed to sort this out now and fear was not going to help her._

_ His grin widened and he paced around her in a circle. She turned to face him with every step he took and could not help noticing uneasily at the way that he circled her, like a predator. Which made her the prey._

_ Raven much rather preferred to be the predator._

_ So she reached out and to her surprise tapped into her powers. She normally could never do that when she was dreaming. She took comfort in the feeling of power as the black energy flooded her hands. He cocked an eyebrow at her but did not address it._

_ "You can't sense me, because I don't want you to," he said._

_ "You put it so simply," she said, her sarcasm like a knife edge. Maybe it was pretense, and maybe he knew that it was pretense, but it stopped her from feeling helpless. "We both know that it's not that simple. The mind implies existence. Your mind does not exist, and therefore, neither do you."_

_ She took a deep breath and continued. It was time to stop this now. "I _am _afraid of you," she admitted, keeping her voice low and dangerous. "But I will _not _let fear rule me. You have no power here. So _get_-_out_."_

_ He threw back his head and his rich laugh echoed through the blankness. She let her powers crackle out of her and they danced around him like lightning, and then dissolved._

_ So much for that plan._

_ "Raven, the mind implies existence for mortals, and physical beings," he explained._

_ "Don't patronize me," she growled._

_ "Why can't I? I'm older than your father, by far. I'm probably the oldest being in existence."_

_ A chill seized her and everything clicked into place._

Oh no_...was the only coherent thought she could muster._

_ "Besides being old, and not being physically existent, to an extent, I have powers that you can only dream of, Ms. Raven."_

_ This was going downhill fast._

_ "If you think I'm going to sell my soul, you're sorely mistaken," she said sharply._

_ "Are you sure," he asked tauntingly, with a sly grin. "What if your soul would buy back the most precious things? The rebirth of Azarath, for instance."_

_ "It wouldn't be worth it," she argued, but her words had a hollow ring to them. What was she to the millions of people who had lived on Azarath before its destruction? A speck._

_ "How about the souls of your friends?" he continued. "Are you sure you wouldn't trade your soul for one of theirs?"_

_ Raven lowered her hands, her black magic fading from her fingers. He was right._

_ He quickly judged her expression._

_ "Don't be so quick to decide," he said in a satisfied manner, "until you've thought it through. How often we set our minds, until we meet the unexpected and give way."_

_ "So what do you want my soul for?" Raven asked gratingly. "That is what you want, isn't it?"_

_ He tsked, and tilted his head. Suddenly, she realized he was reading her thoughts, flicking through them with inhuman speed, like they were slides on a projector._

_ "Really, is _that _what you jump to? Well, I suppose you can't help it...yes, Faustus, great stuff, really. But in so many of the versions I am just...cheated. I always come off the bad end of it. There are too many loopholes, too many ways out. I mean, really," he implored, "do I not deserve an equal chance?"_

_ He looked at her beggingly. "And all those movies! I am always painted as the most despicable creature."_

_ "Aren't you?" she asked acidly. _

_ "I?" he laughed. "No, I like to think of myself as a benign old grandfather. After all, I do have your best interests at heart." His voice magnifed and surrounded her, swelling inside her. The world about her flickered into smoky gray, and she tried to maintain her grasp on herself. He was not taking her wherever he wanted. "Your fears gone. Your desires complete." Everything shimmered for one terrifying moment, and then it solidified back into the same whiteness as she shook herself to clear his influence._

_ His grin widened, but his eyes flashed dangerously. _He didn't expect me to resist, _she realized._

_ "Get to the point," she stated flatly and crossed her arms. "Why are you here? What do you want with me, if not my soul?"_

_ "You place so much value in yourself," he admonished her. "You're not what interests me. Not so much. The others do, though."_

_ Raven felt icy claws grip her insides. She struggled to keep her voice steady. "What others?"_

_ "Don't play dumb," he chided her. "It doesn't become you. You know what others I mean." She gave him a blank look._

Let him say it,_ she thought. _Let me be wrong.

_ "The Teen Titans, of course, you silly girl," he sighed._

_ She wasn't wrong._

_ Her hands clenched painfully into fists. A turmoil of emotions, mostly anger burned within her with a deadly fire. "You'll have nothing to do with them."_

_ "You have no say in that," he said more seriously._

_ "You want their souls, but you don't want mine," she stated, and she couldn't stop the curiosity from leaking into her voice. _

_ His eyes glittered coldly as they examined her. She felt like a prize stallion being measured and judged. "No," he whispered regretfully. "I'm afraid your soul doesn't have the worth I'm seeking...it would only count for half."_

_ She ignored his shot at her heritage, but her emotions were reacting too strongly. An amorphous mass of her energy swelled around him and then disappeared. _

_ He shook his head. "I think we've already established that your powers don't work on me, Raven. So let's just keep this to discussion, alright?"_

_ "You'll stay away from them," she warned him. Another bolt of black electricity, more concentrated, arced from her to him. His face didn't even contort in pain as the energy dissipated again into nothing._

_ "Raven," the demon said more sternly. She was aware of the warning laced in his voice, but that didn't matter. She had to be able to stop him somehow. She had to be able to defend her friends. _

_ He didn't even move, but the vexation on his features was clear. Then she fell abruptly as her knees gave out and a deep, bone-rending, mind-twisting pain enveloped her. She gasped, holding her midsection tightly, red flashing before her vision._

_ And then she remembered:_

And any pain that I can inflict upon you is only real as long as you think it is real.

_ It wasn't real._

_ Maybe he was real, but this wasn't._

_ As suddenly as the realization overcame her, the pain vanished. She pushed herself off the ground laboriously, her limbs shaking from the memory of the pain._

_ "You learn quickly," he praised her, looking thoughtful. "But don't think yourself free of me. You are a half demon, and therefore, you are in my realm of control some of the time. But as a show of faith," he continued, his voice lightening, "I'll make you a little promise. I'll never touch you physically, not in dreams and not when you're awake. How does that sound?"_

_ "And what must I do in return?" she asked gratingly. "No, I don't hold you to your promise."_

_ "That's fine," he waved her resistance aside. "But I'll keep it anyways. At no expense to you." He turned away and began walking, though she didn't see where he could walk to. He went through the motions of opening a door, though she could see nothing. _

_ The demon hesitated in the imaginary doorway. _

_ "By the way, I didn't choose to send __Mephistophilis," he said, then stepped through and vanished._

_ Cold fear stabbed through her but with an immense force of will she freed herself from the dream. _

_ It was just as she had thought._

_ She was in deep, deep trouble._

A/N: Is it just me, or am I being excessive with the cliffhangers? Anyways, if you have any questions about the reference to Mephistophilis at the end, review and I'll mention it at the beginning of the next chapter. If you loved it, review. If you hated it, review so I can fix it! Also, I'm somewhat conflicted about how to play out the next Beast Boy and Raven moment. I have two versions, one which is more angsty, and one which is more comfort, or I may write another one entirely! Appropriate suggestions are welcome. Also, as a warning: I'm going to start hitting the slow down time for updates pretty soon. I'll try to post one once a week, but there's no guarantee.


	4. Chapter 4: Helpless and Hopeless

A/N: OK, so here's the explanation of the Mephistophiles reference. This is not in my own words, it's directly off wikipedia but it's a good description, nonetheless.

"Using Mephistophilis as a messenger, Faustus strikes a deal with Lucifer: he is to be allotted twenty-four years of life on Earth, during which time he will have Mephistophilis as his personal servant. At the end he will give his soul over to Lucifer as payment and spend the rest of time as one damned to Hell. This deal is to be sealed in Faustus's own blood. After cutting his arm, the wound is divinely healed and the Latin words "Homo, fuge!" (Fly, man!) then appear upon it. Despite the dramatic nature of this divine intervention, Faustus disregards the inscription with the assertion that he is already damned by his actions thus far and therefore left with no place to which he could flee. Mephistophilis brings coals to break the wound open again, and thus Faustus is able to take his oath that was written in his own blood."

Note: Faustus strikes the deal through the demon or fallen angel Mephistophiles, not with the devil himself. Hopefully, that clears up the previous chapter.

In case you still don't get it, the demon which Raven has been speaking to is the devil.

It gives me the chills.

On with the story.

Disclaimer: If I had finally purchased Teen Titans, I think something would have changed here in this disclaimer. Unfortunately, nothing has changed. Yes, that means that I do not own them. Not yet.

Chapter Four: Helpless and Hopeless

_"Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."_

-Dante's Inferno

Hours of fruitless searching, and still nothing.

Raven sat crosslegged, a pile of books and scrolls clustered upon her lap, her eyes fixed upon the open book before her. She paid attention to neither the melted wax dripping on the floor in thick rivulets, nor the flickering shadows along the walls, cast by the feeble candlelight, nor the gradual lightening of her room as the sun peeked its rosy head over the horizon. She was surrounded by a circle of books which she had been going through piece by piece since she had awoken. There were tightly furled scrolls, which crackled threateningly every time they were moved, torn sheaves, and tattered yellow pages held together by the barest of threads, gossamer strands, the minuscule spidery scrawl blending in with the shadows, and making her eyes ache.

With her free hand she rubbed her brow, turning through the pages of _Faust _again. She'd gone through it already, and Dante's Inferno and countless manuscript after manuscript on demonology and magics to repel them, and there was nothing. So much knowledge, so much information, right at her fingertips, yet all this yielded no answers for her.

It always came back to _Faustus._ _Faustus _was the oldest story which she knew of concerning a demon, and interactions between demons and men. Not the Devil, that was true, but demons sent directly from the Devil.

She snorted and shut the book in a puff of dust, setting it off to the side to add to the mounds around her. She practically knew this by heart. She didn't need a comedy or witty conversation, and she didn't need to read about the foolish decisions of a bitter old man. She hadn't done anything to deserve this, and neither had her friends. Her only sin was her birth and she had had no control over that.

What she needed was a way to stop him, some sure way of keeping him back. But none of the books spoke on how to deal with the highest demon of them all; rather they talked about lesser demons and protective safeguards and measures to take against them, things that were uncertain at best. Demons were tricky creatures, ages old and cunning. They were willing to play their game psychologically, rather than devote themselves to battles of strength. Therefore, any shielding measures against them could be useless because they would find some way to circumvent the wards. She picked up the next book, flipping it open to the first few pages.

_This is no good,_ she thought, after reading how to negate the effects of summoning a demon. _I didn't summon him to begin with, he just came. _She scanned the next page which explained in great detail how to prevent one's self from attracting a demon's notice. _Too late. _She randomly flipped through the book, stopping when she saw the bold title of the chapter labeled, Hierarchy. The more she read, the more her scowl deepened, and the worse her headache became. Sprites! Rituals! Grimoires! What did she care about them? She was only looking for one thing: how to stop him. How to keep him back. And that was the one thing which her intellect, and her vast resources gave her no answer to.

She cast that book aside and opened the next one without thought, barely aware of what she was reading.

_"Mark now how great that whole must be, which suits_

_With such a part. If he were beautiful_

_As he is hideous now, and yet did dare_

_To scowl upon his Maker, well from him_

_May all our mis'ry flow. Oh what a sight!"_

Her head slumped into the palm of her hand, her eyes not focused upon the manuscript on her lap, its words a meaningless babble. She thought of Starfire's kindness, and Robin's leadership, Cyborg's strength, and...Beast Boy. His eager laugh, his attempts to include her. They had all gone through rough times; Raven had sensed the emotional scars the instant she had met them. Yet they were not evil. They had chosen to fight crime, to do good, to try to keep order and defend others. Was that not honorable? Was that not good enough to keep them safe?

It all came back to her. She was the tainted one because of her demon's blood.

_Maybe if I leave, maybe if I go to some other dimension..._Then she could take this darkness with her and leave them unscathed and untouched. And they would be safe.

_"Two mighty wings, enormous as became_

_A bird so vast. Sails never such I saw_

_Outstretch'd on the wide sea. No plumes had they,_

_But were in texture like a bat..."_

Her fingers curled into a fist against her leg. Running had never solved anything. And the Devil had made it clear that he desired her friends, more than he desired her. She would have to stand and fight.

But she couldn't even touch him, let alone guard the others. What kind of a hero was she?

_"...And these_

_He flapp'd i' th' air, that from him issued still_

_Three winds, wherewith Cocytus to its depth_

_Was frozen." _

She looked around her at the darkness, trying to keep back the despair that was growing in her. The Devil was coming for her friends and she couldn't do a thing about it. After all, she had thrown vast amounts of power at him, maybe not to the level that she had thrown at Trigon, but it still should have caused him some pain, at least some discomfort.

_"...At six eyes he wept: the tears_

_Adown three chins distill'd with bloody foam..."_

Her breath shuddered briefly, and the cloud of thick despair, which she had been holding back, enveloped her. It was a thick gloom, lightless and hopeless, which dulled her senses yet sharpened the deep ache in her chest which she could feel, actually feel, at her heart's core. She swallowed but the motion was useless and did not stop the painful knot from rising in her throat. She closed her eyes to keep back the tears, but they brimmed and overflowed anyways, running down her face gently.

_Weak, _a part of her murmured.

What if it was a lost cause?

The low pop as the lightbulb shattered was what she needed to pull her out of her mood. She jerked upwards, wiping away the tear tracks with the flat of her hand, and wiping away all traces of emotion. Nothing was hopeless.

Raven hated feeling helpless, and knowing that there was nothing she could do to keep whatever was going to happen from happening was not helping. The thick gloom around her made her rethink, not for the first time, her choice of decoration. She couldn't handle anymore darkness, not even from herself.

So she teleported, out of her room, and into the kitchen.

Some people stood by coffee, some people insisted on morning workouts (cough, cough, Robin), some even pushed for drinking mustard in large quantities (which no doubt would be a horrible wake up call). Yet for Raven, nothing was more soothing and peaceful than tea and silence. She didn't need meditation to experience the calm of an early morning and appreciate the sunrise.

She checked the time and was relieved to see that it was just past six.

She automatically set water on to boil, letting the fragrance of a myriad of different teas wash over her as she chose one. The scent loosened the tension which had been coiled in a tight knot at the base of her stomach.

She knew she had been too loud when she sensed his mind.

Her fingers grasped her hood and pulled it up to protect her face, and keep herself hidden. She could keep emotions from her voice, but he was much too good at reading her face. She would not give him that advantage.

_Because you don't have an advantage at all with your empathy,_ a snide voice whispered. She ignored it.

They stood there, facing each other. She read the caution and uncertainty at the fore of his mind, but beneath it, the deep layer of care which she had never expected from him.

"I heard you were up," Beast Boy said softly, breaching the silence carefully.

Raven kept her gaze on the floor, not willing to look into his eyes. There was some hidden power within them, which she wasn't ready to face. What if he drew everything out of her? What could she tell him then? That she could nothing to save them?

"Are you here to make me talk?" she demanded softly, yet bitingly, her voice ragged with barely concealed emotions. He looked at her sharply, and she regretted speaking. She always showed more than she wanted to when she was around him, that, or he had just learned to read the flat monotone of her voice better than the others. Either way, she did not like how much of her feelings he saw, especially when she tried so hard to keep those emotions hidden.

"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to," he said, gently and, soothingly, like someone speaking to a wild animal which at any moment might spring.

"I'm just here to keep you company."

Beast Boy was always a terrible liar and this Beast Boy, changed though he was, was no different. That strange sincerity washed over her, dispelling the darkness which had surrounded in her in a thick cloud.

She remained mute, waiting for him to begin pestering her but he didn't. He just leaned against the wall, arms crossed tightly, his gaze on the floor.

Her eyes flickered up to his face, but he was not looking at her, and didn't seem ready to say anything. The boiling water hissed at her and she hesitated, beginning to feel uncomfortable. Was he just going to stand there until the others got up?

"Would you-" Raven was surprised to hear her own voice, apparently speaking of its own volition. "Would you like-some tea?"

She saw her own surprise mirrored on his face, but he accepted her offer with a robotic nod. She set out another mug, wondering briefly if she had ever done this before. That was when he began to speak.

"Look," he sighed deeply, trying to release the tension in his bony shoulders. It didn't work. "I know that you're not the most social person-" he winced a little, waiting for her reaction, but she did nothing- "and I'm always-well, I'm always pushing your buttons, I guess, and I don't mean to, I just...I just want to make sure you're okay," he said, stumbling over his words a little, as he rushed onwards. His hands were clasped behind his back and he was scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor. Now he refused to look at her. "I just want to say that...I'm sorry for bothering you and I won't ever bother you again, if you don't want me to, but-"

Now he looked up, and his gaze locked with hers.

"-but I'm worried about you, Rae."

She tore her eyes away from him, but it was no good. His gaze just accentuated the sincerity which she could already feel radiating from him.

"I know that you may hate me, and when I said that you needed to talk someone, it doesn't have to be me," he continued quickly, "but if-"

"I don't hate you, Beast Boy," she said in her usual monotone, but there was a lilt of sadness there. "I never have and I never will."

The Beast Boy she knew would have run around the Tower, announcing to the world that Raven didn't hate him and then he would have 'busted a move' and done some ridiculous victory dance, all for her benefit-

But this one didn't.

Why was he different around her?

Maybe it was the fact that she always threatened him with various painful measures, from window smashing, to skipping him across the ocean like a stone, to sending him to some dark distant dimension. Maybe her coldness had pushed him to this point. But then wouldn't he be resentful of her? Considering the way that she always treated him, that dejected look he always got in his eyes when she turned him down-he should hate her.

But he cared for her.

She sighed, her conscience pushing to the fore her guilt. "You're not the only one who needs to apologize."

He looked at her suspiciously and doubtfully at the same time, and his twisted expression was almost laughable. _Almost,_ mind you, not quite.

"I-I was out of line yesterday," she confessed, cursing her stutter. Her fingers fiddled with her hood, and finally she pushed it down. It was only right that she did this face to face. But why did it have to be so hard? She wished that she could warm her tone just a little, and dispel that frostiness so it would sound more sincere. She continued, stumbling a little. "You were just trying to help and I was ungrateful. I-" She couldn't think of anything more to say, and closed her mouth, chancing a glance at him.

He was stunned, to say the least, almost gaping in surprise, though his eyes were fixed at some point over her head. After all, this was the girl who was always right, and whose relationship with him consisted of him apologizing for everything: when he was too loud, or too quiet, or too sneaky, or too annoying. And _she _was apologizing to _him._

"Beast Boy? Beast Boy, can you hear me?" No response. She rolled her eyes instinctively, and turned to the boiling water, carefully pouring it into the two mugs, and placing the teabags in them to steep.

When she turned back around, offering him his mug wordlessly, she was caught by his sudden change of expression.

He was grinning from ear to ear, pure joy and happiness radiating out from him, affecting her emotions, and somehow...lifting her spirits. She could feel his smile on her like a ray of sunshine beaming down on her frozen heart, shifting the darkness which hung over her like a cloud, and making her heart skip a beat.

"You realize that you just apologized to me, right?" Beast Boy asked, and his teasing childish voice was back and she was glad. "You do know that that's _my _job, right?" The grin did not fade, though.

"Don't get a swelled head," she said, trying to ignore the beginnings of a victory dance in his movements. He did not break into a dance though, but accepted the mug from Raven.

Their fingers met.

Something jolted through her, and she felt warmth flooding her face, as she flushed. Why did she suddenly feel so uncomfortable here with him?

His smile slowly faded, to be replaced by a serious expression again as he regarded her almost...tenderly?

"I was being serious, though, Raven, in what I said earlier," he said. Before she could move away from him, his free hand was on her shoulder, offering her comfort in its gentle pressure. "When, or if ever, you want to talk, I'm here for you."

A tingling emotion was swelling in her, a bubble of giddyness expanding, and she did not repress it, but looked at him and said her thanks in her mind, words that she would never have the courage to express, but which were there all the same. For being there. For always knowing what to say. For spending time with her even when she demanded isolation. For comforting her even when she pushed him away.

They stood there close together, enjoying each other's presence, despite the silence.

Of course, Beast Boy and Raven were having a moment and if Beast Boy didn't ruin it someone else had to.

They jumped apart as the red lights overhead flashed to life, and the alarm blared.

A/N: Yes, I know, the stereotypical tea sharing moment. I couldn't help myself. For those of you who want more angst there is plenty yet to come. The quotes which at the beginning of this chapter were interspersed with Raven's thoughts are from Dante's Inferno, and they describe the Devil (according to Dante).

Who is this criminal that is setting off the next alarm? How is the Devil planning on forcing the Titans to fall? Until the next chapter!

If this chapter made your day, or had any effect on you whatsoever, can you leave a review? :)


	5. Chapter 5: Bargaining Chip

A/N: Wow, a long update this time! On one hand, I've been dying to put parts of this chapter out since I started this story, and on the other hand, some parts of this chapter I really had to work for (and secretly detest). I was very sad at the lack of reviews at Chapter 4, and want to remind you that I can't fix anything or answer questions if you don't tell me what's wrong, so please review (though I must admit chapter 4 was pretty boring)! :) Also, I'm aiming to get this story done by June, before I head off for summer and college, which is incredibly quick considering that this story's just starting! Let's see if I actually make that deadline...

I hope you enjoy the next installment.

Chapter 5: Bargaining Chip

"How you are fallen from heaven,

O Day Star, son of Dawn!

How you are cut down to the ground,

you who laid the nations low!

You said in your heart,

I will ascend to heaven;

above the stars of God

I will set my throne on high;

I will sit on the mount of assembly

in the far reaches of the north;

I will ascend above the heights of the clouds;

I will make myself like the Most High."

-Isaiah 14:12-14

Robin's mouth was a grim slash and that told Beast Boy right away that it wasn't good news. In other ways, today was going to suck.

"Slade's back."

Great. Just what he wanted to hear. Now he and Robin could have a duel over who had the biggest nemesis in Slade. At the very least, Beast Boy knew who to be mad at. Though mad seemed too gentle a word for what he was feeling. Maybe he could borrow the term from Starfire and say "righteous fury", though there probably wasn't anything righteous about it.

Here he had been having a moment with Raven and, for once in his life, he hadn't ruined it. He had resisted the impulse to dance and make stupid comments, he had been as serious and supportive as possible and _Slade _had destroyed it. _Slade _who had died at least twice, and who, somehow, even though he had no powers to speak of and was a 100% human, was indestructible.

Plus, there were some people he could exchange the classic superhero banter with (Control Freak was the best) but Slade was not one of them.

And that meant no banter in the T-car either.

He fingered the window control then stopped before somebody snapped at him. It would be either Robin or Raven, and neither was better than the other. He drew in a breath as normally as possible but almost gagged. He couldn't even pick out Raven's scent of spicy incense, or the sweetness of Starfire's perfume, and they were both sitting next to him. Instead the scent of fear coiled around him in thick tendrils. Anger, like hot fire smoldering out in waves, mixed in with it, flowing freely from Robin, riding shotgun.

Basically, the whole car stunk of emotion.

Most of all, though, he hated the smell of fear, the oily slick scent, that burned his nostrils with bitter cold. He wanted to roll down the window to wash the smell away and gulp down lungfuls of fresh air like a drowning man, but he could already see Raven snapping at him to shut it, or Robin turning his spiky head and telling him that this was a serious mission, danger was everywhere, and if the window was down they could receive incoming fire-

OK, so maybe he was exaggerating. Robin wasn't _that _paranoid, but rolling down the window seemed childish and no body wanted any of his jokes or childish antics at the moment.

"Get ready," came Robin's tense voice. "The bank's ahead." Beast Boy knew better than to shift in the car (Cyborg had already lectured him on the horrors of vacuuming and the amounts of hair he got all over the place) but he reached down to unbuckle his seatbelt. "Go!"

The car stopped and Beast Boy darted free of it, trying to breathe normally in the fresh clean air.

The bank front was swarming with sladebots, moving bags of cash from the bank into vans. The bots looked up, and targeted them.

Robin had hardly said Titans Go! when they were upon them.

Beast Boy let some of his anger at Slade fuel him and he shifted into a black (technically green) bear, slashing at the bots with razor sharp claws. They spurted crackling electricity and then crumpled. He raised a paw and turned to take out another bot on his right but it exploded before he could move.

_What? _

He turned and saw every sladebot enveloped in Raven's dark energy. Raven cried, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" and with a sizzling noise the dark bands around the sladebots squeezed, turning them into broken piles of metal.

"Whoa, dude," Beast Boy said in awe, looking at the destruction around him. Raven gave him a disapproving look, floating back down to earth. He pumped a fist. "That was wicked awesome!"

"That was it?" Robin asked, clearly confused. He had barely drawn his bo-staff and already the fighting was over. Starfire hadn't even had the chance to loose a starbolt. "Good job, Raven," he said, but he sounded uncertain and Cyborg was openly ogling at the spellcaster.

"Let's just get ho-" she started, then stopped, and twisted around suddenly, her eyes wide.

His voice was like the scraping of a knife. Unmistakable. The smile melted off Beast Boy's face, and they all turned around to see Slade standing just behind them, calmly surveying the remains of his robots.

"Long time, no see, Titans. With robots, it does take a while to rebuild things, doesn't it?" he said in that infuriatingly calm voice, like they were trading words about stocks and business. He clasped his hands behind his back, almost inviting them to attack but they knew better. Beast Boy inhaled sharply at the sudden spike in fear from Raven. What was wrong with her?

"What was the point of this?" Robin demanded. "To kill innocent people?"

"No, just to deliver a message." Unconsciously, Raven jolted as Slade's eye slid over to her, remembering the last message he had set out to deliver: the Prophecy.

He uttered a dry chuckle. "No, not a message of that kind, dear Raven. A different entirely, of my own making. Did you know, Raven," he said suddenly, as if it was just the two of them, "you disgust me."

"The feeling's mutual," she replied flatly.

"To all of us," Beast Boy added coldly, clenching his fists tightly. He had no right to talk to her like that!

Slade continued talking as if it was just him and Raven, alone, having a serious conversation. "Here I always thought that you really had to push yourself to use your powers, but that's not the case, is it." He tilted his head slightly to the side, and his voice softened a little, but his one eye gleamed with malice. "You have to restrain them all the time, and you've never allowed yourself to reach your full potential." He let the next words fall sharply. "A waste. Although, I must admit, you've impressed me and I am not easy to impress..."

"Enough of this," Robin snapped, making a slashing motion with his glove. "You won't be getting any apprentices out of any of us EVER again! Titans Go!" With that Robin sprung upwards, hurling a motley of explosive discs. Starfire released a barrage of bright green starbolts, and Cyborg let his sonic cannon blast at the spot where Slade was. Thick tangy smoke concealed him and when it cleared there was-

Nothing.

"An interesting proposal, though not one I am currently considering, Robin," came his drawl from behind them. Beast Boy let loose a feral growl in the back of his throat. How had he managed to move so fast? "My message is this: I'm back." He raised a remote with a bright red button and they all knew that meant trouble. "And Titans-" he said, savoring every syllable, his eye sliding across all of them lazily. "It's time to step up your game."

Before he could move, the remote burst in a crackle of electricity. Beast Boy looked at Raven, and saw her with one hand outstretched and encased in black energy.

"Foolish move," Slade hissed triumphantly, and then an explosion rocked the world.

They turned sharply at the thunderous roar from behind them, and watched in horror as a tall office building, its supports blasted into twisted ends and shrapnel, began to sway and crumble-

"Raven!" Beast Boy heard the Boy Wonder shout, but even before he had spoken, Raven had reacted.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" came her gravelly cry, and her powers sparked and formed black columns to support the crumbling building. Then there was a medley of explosions, like popcorn, and two other buildings belched mushroom clouds of smoke from their entrances and began to likewise sway and crumble. Beast Boy watched in horror-

Raven extended both her hands and black energy propped up the failing buildings, just barely holding them up.

"Help me keep him off, Raven," Robin yelled at him, throwing a few more discs as a distraction. "Star, Cyborg, go!" Starfire shot off towards the building, lifting Cyborg with her to help evacuate the civilians.

"How long will it hold?" Beast Boy asked Raven quickly. Sweat already beaded her brow, and her arms were quivering.

"Not-long," she grunted, her voice strained. The main section of one of the buildings crumbled further and she conjured up another column of black energy to bolster it. "Hurry."

"Attack plan beta," Robin muttered to him, drawing his bo-staff as Slade advanced.

Beast Boy nodded, and shifted into a shaggy wolf, his hackles stiff along his back. Years of training had ingrained all their basic attack plans; beta was used when they had a downed Titan or civilian that they needed to protect, in this case Raven. All they had to do was push the enemy back gradually when they weren't at their full strength, like now. Easy.

Of course, nothing was easy with Slade.

Beast Boy advanced carefully, snarling and snapping at Slade but maintaining his distance. This plan wasn't used to take out their enemies; it was no knockout punch. It was their way to buy time, until they were back at full strength.

Slade's eye flickered between them, as Beast Boy and Robin circled him carefully. Yet Slade did not smell of fear; he never did. Of course he much preferred smelling no emotions from Slade than smelling the stench of rotting flesh, of death, the smell which had clung to Slade after he had returned. Now it was there no longer. Which meant that, somehow, Slade was alive.

"My, my, you are out of practice, Robin, announcing your plans for the world to hear," Slade drawled contemptuously, standing there and lecturing as if he was in control. "All this for Raven? You could be saving civilians right now. There's no need to protect her. She'll protect herself, being what she is." He let a gap of silence expand and then allowed the words to drop from his lips. "A demon."

Something uncoiled in him and reared to strike, like a snake, which he had suppressed. Now he didn't want to suppress it-he just wanted to let it free so it could rip Slade apart-

_No, I don't need it. I _don't _need it, _he told himself desperately. If he let it out and he couldn't control it…if he killed innocent people or hurt his friends…but if Slade hurt Raven, if Slade hurt Raven-

He felt his muscles quivering uncontrollably as a seizure wracked him. He pushed it away frantically.

_Not here! Not now! _

"That's not what she is!" Robin yelled and Beast Boy let a snarl rip free from his throat.

_ Don't call her that, _Beast Boy thought at the same instant, red splashing across his vision. He wished he could project his thoughts. If he could morph back into his human form…but the truth was that he was worthless in his human shape. Hand-to-hand combat and he didn't get along very well. He bared his teeth threateningly at Slade, blank eyes fixed on the villain.

"Why not?" Slade asked "We both know that it's the truth, as much as it may hurt. Or is it because you don't want some passerby to hear us? The media would probably have a field day with that information, wouldn't they?"

"After all the public wouldn't want to hear about the one crime they never witnessed, now would they?" he taunted them slowly, with that coolness. "Trigon? The Portal? The girl who led to the destruction of Earth? You haven't told them all that yet?"

"Raven _saved_ us," Robin replied angrily. "What happened wasn't her fault. She's a _hero._" Beast Boy growled in affirmation.

"But that's where you're wrong," Slade replied in soft murmur, but traces of anger had crept into his voice. "Raven had a _choice _from the very beginning, Titans. There was nothing holding here on Earth. She could've have left at anytime to some other dimension, some other planet even. She could have stranded her father on a desolate world at the opportune moment. I was only ordered to torment her as long as she could bear witness to it." As suddenly as it had appeared the anger had vanished from his voice and he continued passively. "Raven's no hero, Robin. If she was, she would have left. She would have killed herself before she allowed billions of people to perish. But she didn't and for what? A few borrowed years? Selfish and self-centered, Titans, no-"

A heartbeat spread hatred through his veins quicker than thought.

No warning this time. Raven was _not_ a demon, she was a _hero_ and Slade had _no_ right to say any of those things! A swirl of eyewatering colors, blues, greens, reds, filled his mind, impulses stronger than voices almost seized his control.

Beast Boy sprang silently, body extending to a dangerous length, no more than a green blur. There was no thought but to close his jaws around Slade's throat and-

A flash of steel and black and then his side blossomed in hot pain as Slade's heavy boot connected with his ribcage. He skidded backwards, rolling along the asphalt in a heap and then sprung up quickly, ignoring his bruised body. The pain was distant, and couldn't touch him. He clung to one voice, one impulse, one splash of color.

_Defend._

At every pulse of blood thrumming in his ears, his vision blurred around Slade and sharpened into painful clarity with its focus the villain before him. The tang of battle overpowered every other sense: the sharp acrid smell of metal, which he could taste, coating his tongue, the sour odor of sweat, and rage like a fire coursing through the air.

It was a a drumbeat, a rhythm he had to follow.

_Defend._

Slade had taken advantage of the loss of one of his guards to press forward. Robin was barely holding him back, his bo-staff moving in a desperate arc. Beast Boy waited, looking for his opportunity…

He should just charge in and stop it now. Slade was hurting Robin and Robin was one of his friends-but his muscles didn't respond to his thoughts. Slade was going down. And that meant taking him down permanently and putting him out of the battle so the threat would be gone...

"Was that all this was about?" Beast Boy heard Robin demand breathlessly, between attacks. "You're after Raven, then?" The Boy Wonder jabbed forward with his bo-staff but Slade twisted his body to the side to avoid the point, and grabbing the edge of the weapon, used it as a lever to yank Robin forward suddenly so the Boy Wonder lost his balance and fell. Instantly, he was back on his feet but now Slade had the upper hand.

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed, and he crouched, the muscles along his coat rippling. _Almost time._ They grappled for a moment, Robin weaving in and out of Slade's punches. A quick uppercut caught him in the jaw and he stumbled backwards, already lifting his hands to defend himself when Slade spun around and slid forward in a flash of steel, his mask reflecting daylight in glittering slices of red and gray, and side-kicked the Boy Wonder solidly in the gut. Robin flew backwards.

"Oh, no, Robin. I'm just making conversation since you have me hemmed in so nicely." Slade advanced slowly as if he had all the time in the world. Robin, gasping for breath, attempted to roll away from Slade, but the villain planted his boot on the Boy Wonder's back, preventing any movement. "This isn't about Jump City, either. It's _never _been about Jump City. It's been about _you_, Titans. I want you to lose and I want you to _know _that you've lost and watch your whole world crumble."

_Now, _the voice cried, and his body responded. He leapt and shifted into the form of an armadillo, curling himself into a ball. He catapulted forward with a shrill whistling.

Then Robin wrenched himself out of Slade's grip, ruining Beast Boy's plan. Because then Slade turned his head to where the Boy Wonder had rolled, and Beast Boy knew that Slade could see him out of the corner of his eye.

Slade leapt backwards and Beast Boy shot right past him.

_Defend. _

Beast Boy was not stupid. He expected nothing less than for Slade to jump clear.

He disappeared. Aiming for the adjacent wall, he became a kangaroo and propelled himself off of it, before slamming back into Slade in wolf form. He pinned the villain to the floor and fastened his jaws around Slade's throat. Said villain did not move, and still Beast Boy did not smell the fear-scent. He would make him afraid-

There was only one goal, one pursuit.

_Defend._

End it.

"Beast Boy," came Robin's voice, filled with warning and worry.

Blank eyes gazed upon Slade's one eye.

"Beast Boy, _stand down,_" Robin ordered him tensely, slowly moving towards them.

"Go on then," Slade murmured. "Do it." He still did not smell of fear.

Beast Boy's eyes narrowed into white slits and his jaws tightened.

A mental shout rent the silence and he sprang away from Slade, looking towards Raven.

_I can't hold it much longer, _came her cry. _Get them out!_

Beast Boy shook his head, trying to clear it. He felt numb, and senseless as his battle fever waned and-he looked at Slade who was back on his feet already, facing Robin. He had come so close to-

He didn't complete the thought but looked at Robin, a demanding glare, and the Boy Wonder nodded in understanding. _Protect her. _He began to move towards the buildings and opened his communicator, calling Starfire and Cyborg. An instant later their faces filled his screen.

"Raven, can't hold it much longer," he told them quickly. "You need to get out." He snapped his communicator shut and looked at the office buildings, choosing the was running, and then he caught onto the strand of DNA he needed-T-rex. His footfalls shook the earth as he approached one of the buildings, and pushed the crown of his head under the sagging corner. Chunks of cement and jagged steel fell, scraping his sides, but he held his position. _Hang in there, Rae._

He could hear people running past him, and he was aware of Starfire and Cyborg moving back and forth, shouting out indiscernible words.

They just had to wait for Cyborg and Starfire to make the routine check of the floors but how much longer? And who knew how long it would take? There could be people buried under the rubble, or stranded by fire. He dug his claws into the asphalt, his knees shaking with exertion. He had only been here for seconds and Raven for minutes, though it seemed like hours…

Her voice, exhausted, resonated in his head and he flinched for a moment. The building corner dropped a little lower and he strained every muscle in his body to maintain its height.

_ Raven? _he asked cautiously.

_ Yes. Everyone's safe. Get away from there. _All too willingly, he complied, and shrinking to a fly because it took the least energy to move, he buzzed clear of the building, reappearing at Raven's side.

She let the black columns flicker and disappear and with a horrible rumbling the buildings cascaded down, chunks of stone smashing the pavement with a crunch. Clouds of dust billowed outwards in great waves, extending upwards in a mushroom cloud.

They'd won.

Beast Boy looked at Robin and saw that Slade had disappeared. Good. Slade was gone. Check. Civilians saved. Check. Whole team unharmed. Check.

But it still didn't feel like a victory. Instead, he felt hollow inside. He clenched his jaw and his hands curled into fists.

Because he had come so close to doing the one thing he had sworn to never do-kill. There was a reason why he ate tofu. He was a peace loving green elf, and if he had killed someone he would have expected it to happen in the heat of the moment, as part of self-defense. But Slade had been down and defenseless and he'd almost done it anyways. And he didn't know why.

Raven swayed dangerously besides him and he automatically supported her with an arm around her waist and then flinched, realizing his mistake. Raven had unofficially set the rules of their relationship early on. The main one was no touching. Ever. It was not a bendable rule. The few times he had tried cuddling up to her as a kitten (The Face worked on Starfire, so why couldn't it work on Raven?) she had pushed him away. Usually she dumped him on the floor mercilessly. He preferred that to being thrown out the window so it was an improvement, but still.

He scanned her face carefully but read no sign of disapproval in her features. She had closed her eyes, and he could properly look at her without facing her gaze. His heart constricted painfully as he saw that she looked even more tired than he had thought. The circles under her eyes were emphasized by her gray skin, which he could never remember being so pale. She looked sick. He knew saying anything of the sort was going to make her push away from him, so he remained silent.

Her knees bucked a little, pulling him down with her, so he slung one of her arms over his shoulder. She still didn't speak. Her eyes opened and they were lifeless. A strange thrill of horror ran down his spine when he saw them. Dead eyes, without the sparkle he had come to know.

Something was wrong with her. Beast Boy knew that much. Maybe it was just nightmares, or maybe it was something more-either way it didn't matter. No one should look like that, least of all her. He opened his mouth to say something, anything which might erase that look from her face and bring her back, even if she did throw him across the street, or say something to hurt him, at least she would be back. Then her gaze focused on Robin, Starfire and Cyborg who were moving towards them and that look vanished.

"We need to go after Slade," Robin announced carefully, looking at Beast Boy and Raven strangely. He addressed Raven directly, "Do you feel up to-"

"No," she replied in a faint murmur. "I'm virtually powerless right now, Robin," she added in that gravelly monotone, sounding more like herself. "I wouldn't be much help."

"Alright, then," Robin said, wrestling with a decision. "Can you make it back to the Tower?

He looked over his shoulder, clearly anxious to be after Slade. Beast Boy decided that he would never understand that. They had won, today was a victory, Slade was beating his heels to get away from them and had sorely miscalculated. They should be enjoying pizza, not running after him when he was already long gone.

"Yes," she replied.

"Robin, perhaps we should also retire," Starfire offered cautiously.

"Not yet, Star," Robin said tensely. "This was a serious attack; he almost killed hundreds of people."

"No more serious than usual," Cyborg muttered. "And I don't know what you mean about hundreds of people, Robin. The buildings were almost empty."

"I managed to get a tracking device on him," Robin finished, ignoring Cyborg's comment-or not hearing it. "And we're wasting time," he admitted a little snappishly, and began to move away from them.

It didn't feel right. This battle was over.

"Raven, are you sure you're okay getting back?" Beast Boy asked her softly.

"Fine," she replied curtly. But she didn't pull away from him and neither did he.

"Friend Raven, will you be alright?" Starfire asked, her hands clasped together in front of her. "I fear that this has taken much of your strength and I apologize-"

"There's nothing to apologize for, Starfire," Raven said weakly. "Go."

"C'mon, B," Cyborg said.

"Raven," Robin called back, as if remembering something. "Take Beast Boy with you." He gave Raven a meaningful look and was gone before Beast Boy could even process what had happened.

He felt his ears droop sadly but he didn't say anything. After everything, Robin still didn't trust him. A flicker of red, a pulse of anger…he pushed those away.

Raven didn't say anything either. There was nothing to say. Beast Boy knew that the Boy Wonder had seen how close he had come to losing it-how close he had come to killing Slade. His stomach twisted in revulsion, and his mouth went dry. He had almost taken a life.

Raven leaned on him slightly, squeezing her eyes tightly, and he looked at her anxiously. He could worry about that later. For now-

Wings of bitter-cold darkness engulfed them, and they were gone.

Robin pounded his fist down on the table. "He got away!"

Raven looked up crossly from the dining room table, where she, and Starfire were seated. The boys were all standing, Cyborg with his arms crossed as he surveyed Robin, and Beast Boy leaning against the wall.

She was utterly, physically and emotionally, drained. She could only call on a flicker of her powers if she tried, which was just as well since she hadn't had the chance to meditate. Instead she had been called in for a meeting when the others had returned, which hadn't been long. No rest and no meditation equaled very annoyed Raven. It was a simple enough equation, and she knew that she was more than annoyed so she was keeping her mouth shut.

On top of that, all the fear about the Devil's plans had fallen on her shoulders again like a two-ton weight. It seemed more than mere coincidence that Slade had just showed up within days of her dream. Her heart skipped a beat, then her resolve hardened. There was only one way to solve that issue…

"It's no more than we expected," Cyborg said. "Slade's not stupid; he knew that we were tracking him, and probably ditched the tracking device as soon as possible."

"We shouldn't have had to use a tracking device in the first place," Robin said between clenched teeth. "We should have been after him the instant he was gone." Robin's gaze flickered up to Beast Boy then away and Raven sensed that Robin was avoiding something. Why? What had Beast Boy done that had made Robin order her to take the changeling with her? True, she had been standing there not twenty feet from them, but her only focus had been keeping the buildings up. She'd been too involved in her inner struggle to turn around and look, and had barely heard the classic hero-villain banter.

Beast Boy was oddly silent. She knew that he was hurt; she had felt the pain when Robin had ordered her to take him with her. When they had returned, he had refused to broach the topic so she had let it be. But Beast Boy wasn't like her. He was going to need to talk about it at some point. As long as he didn't do anything stupid in the meanwhile.

"None of this makes sense, Rob," Cyborg was saying slowly. "It's Sunday. Those buildings were practically empty. Slade _knew _that. Slade always knows _everything. _Why go after empty buildings?"

"They were all empty?" Robin asked with a hint of incredulity in his voice.

"Truly, friend," Starfire said softly. She was twisting her fingers and Raven could sense the uncertainty flashing through her mind. She always suffered the most when Robin was in a bad mood, because she didn't understand his anger. "We found few people who required saving."

Silence stretched for a moment.

"Then there has to be an ulterior motive," Robin stated as if there was no argument. He turned to them, arms outstretched. "Don't any of you find this suspicious? Slade never just shows up for no reason. Everything's a part of his plan. Didn't you feel that something was off?"

"I feel my stomach's telling me it's time to have some chow," Cyborg grumbled under his breath.

Finally Raven stirred from where she was sitting. "You heard Slade," she said drily. "It's not about killing people, or taking over Jump City. It's about us. He wants us beaten and gone."

Robin rounded on her, furious. "And you! Do you expect me to believe that this is just coincidence? You just have your dream and then Slade shows up?"

_Now_ they were at the heart of the issue. She couldn't say that it was unexpected. She had sensed the rage bubbling beneath his cool demeanor the instant that Slade had vanished. He turned his back to them, but she could read the anger in his body language: all harsh angles, and twisted muscle.

"We always knew that Slade was still alive, man," Cyborg said. "It was only a matter of time until he popped up."

"A matter of time," Robin repeated, like the words had a vile taste to them. "We've been overseas and he hasn't resurfaced. It's only now." His voice was calmer now, but she sensed that the tide of anger within him had not lessened. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" she said cooly. "Did I know that Slade was back? Did I know that he planned to blow up three buildings in pure daylight? No, I didn't."

"The same way that you knew about Trigon?" he said bitingly, but it was not a question. It was an accusation. His comment stung but she didn't let herself show it.

"Don't start on her," Beast Boy growled throatily from the wall. They all looked as he came forward stiffly and stood beside Raven, eyeing Robin fiercely.

"Do you think that she trusts you?" Robin asked. Raven frowned. Now Robin was just being rude, talking about her as if she wasn't there. "She doesn't trust any of us."

"I'm right here," she said coldly but Robin didn't hear.

"Please, friends, do not fight," Starfire said, clearly puzzled. "We have sent Slade on his way. Have we not opened the can of butt whooping?"

Even Starfire's strange interpretations of "Earth sayings" did nothing to defuse the tension.

"Please," she continued timidly, "does this not merit the victory pizza?"

"No, it doesn't," Robin fumed, breathing through his nose. "It merits extra training tomorrow."

Everyone looked stunned. Robin never talked to Starfire that way and the hurt in those shining green eyes proved it.

"That was outta line, man," Cyborg said, that slow anger beginning to creep into his voice.

"No, this team's out of line!" Robin burst out. "We barely train, we've defeated the Brain, and yet we can never put Slade where he belongs! Raven by herself defeated Slade when he had all those powers from Trigon, and now the five of us can't take him down when he's completely powerless!"

"You're acting exactly like him."

Raven wouldn't have known who had spoken if she hadn't seen Beast Boy's lips move. That harshness did not belong to Beast Boy. That cold fury which burned every word, every syllable he spoke with a horrible chill, did not belong there.

Robin's shoulders jerked upwards, and his jaw tightened.

"He and I are _not _the same!" he snarled in a deadly whisper, pushing his face forward. "He's a no-good villain and I'm-"

"A hero?" Beast Boy finished. He laughed mirthlessly, his gaze icy, just like his voice. "You sure aren't acting like it."

A suspicion was growing in Raven's mind to Beast Boy's behavior-his cynicism, his sudden anger. She knew it was an invasion of privacy but there were more important things. She reached out mentally and brushed his mind. There was a turmoil of several voices, voices which were not really voices, but impulses, primal and feral, as old as man...older than man, and something else so close to breaking, right on edge-

Her eyes widened with realization and she interceded, rising and stepping between the Boy Wonder and Beast Boy quickly. Robin was acting bad enough. They didn't need to add the Beast to the mix.

"That's enough," she said icily. Beast Boy made a jerky movement like he was going to jump and Robin's hand went to his belt. _"Enough!"_ she snapped and her powers sparked between the two boys, giving them both a painful shock. They turned towards her reluctantly, and Robin let his hand fall from his belt.

"We need to start-" Robin started crisply but whatever he was going to say was lost as Cyborg cut in.

"No, you need to learn when to stop. We won. That's it. Yeah, we know, Slade's back, alert the press. It isn't the end of the world, Robin."

As Cyborg spoke, Raven heard a slight shredding noise, and she looked at Beast Boy sharply. His gaze was feral and mad and burned into Robin. He held his shaking arms behind his back, pressed to his sides. This wasn't good. He was too close to the edge. She tapped into her powers to prepare herself for the Beast.

"I never said it was the end of the world," Robin said quietly but his words were clipped. "But it matters." He turned, his cloak swirling around him in a flash of yellow and black, and headed for the hallway.

"Robin," Starfire pleaded softly, coming up to him and placing her hand tentatively upon his tense shoulder. Robin froze in the hallway, his rigid outline quivering. "Please, sit with us, enjoy our company. We are victorious today and-"

"No, Star," he said, and his voice was flat and dead. "Slade's up to something and I have to get to the bottom of it." He shrugged out of her grip and melted into the darkness, leaving Starfire standing there, her arm outstretched. After a moment the alien followed, vanishing into the darkness.

Great. Now she had two broken hearts to heal.

Cyborg sighed, and went for the fridge.

"Don't worry about Robin, Rae," Cyborg said, pulling out a ham. "He'll come around."

"I know that he'll come around, but I'm more worried about what he'll do in the meanwhile," she replied, over her shoulder, approaching Beast Boy. He was back to normal, his eyes pools of sorrow, but he still held his arms behind his back.

"Come here," she ordered him. He followed her without argument to the couch and sat next to her. She reached out and gripped his wrists gently, and pulled his arms in front of him. He resisted for a moment.

"It's nothing." Her grip tightened but he still fought her. "I said it's _nothing!"_

"Give me you arms, _now," _she snapped and the gamestation exploded in a cloud of smoke. He complied, knowing better than to disagree when she used that tone of voice. His arms quivered uncontrollably and she saw the tips of claws poking out of his ruined gloves. Gradually the claws shrunk and vanished.

"So, Rae," Beast Boy said quietly, with some perkiness, but she sensed that it was forced, "have you heard why the chicken crossed the road?"

"Twenty-six times to be precise," she said automatically, pulling off his gloves and examining the puncture marks in his palms. She turned his hands at an angle and saw that they were deeper than she had thought.

"Heh heh," he laughed guiltily, with a half-smile. "Well, did you hear why the _turkey_ crossed the road?"

"No. Enlighten me," she said sarcastically as she hovered her slender fingers over the puncture marks. A watery blue light flowed from her hands to his skin.

"To prove he wasn't chicken!" he exclaimed but the delivery was off. She looked up at him sharply, and his eyes were still filled with that sorrow.

"That's a new one," she said drily. "Beast Boy, how did this happen?" The facade fell through. The smile melted off face and his brows furrowed, angry shoulders hunched over.

"I don't know."

She didn't need to look at his hands any longer; she fixed her gaze on his face, on his soulful emerald eyes, which refused to look at her.

"Beast Boy, tell me how this happened."

"I-" he licked his lips, and a spasm of pain crossed his face. "Do you know I almost did it?" he whispered quietly.

Yes, she knew. He had almost morphed into the Beast; she had sensed that much.

"Yes, I know," she replied, trying to soften her voice a degree. It still sounded too harsh.

He looked at her suddenly, surprised and afraid.

_Why is he afraid of me?_ she asked herself. She hated feeling that he feared her, but the flicker of his emotions did not speak of fear but self-disgust. What had he done?

"Then you know why Robin sent me back," he said angrily, and again his eyes would not meet hers.

Clearly she had misunderstood his statement. He hadn't been talking about the Beast; so what was he talking about?

"What did you do, Beast Boy?" she demanded, again too harshly, her heart speeding up. What if he had done something horrible-she discarded it. Slade had run away unscathed. Nothing had happened.

He flinched and his ears flattened to the side of his head.

"I never asked for it," he burst out, "it just came and I wasn't angry or anything but it was there and then it was gone and I-"

"Garfield," she cut in sharply. His name sounded strange to her and it jolted him visibly. His eyes darted to hers and then flitted away. Guilty, and pained. This was not how he was supposed to be. "What did you do?"

She sensed the self-loathing swell to a sickening level. "I almost killed him," he spat out, like the words had a foul taste. "I almost killed Slade." His eyes were searching her own gaze, looking for approval or condemnation. She kept her face blank but her fingers fell from his wrists, his palms healed. He swallowed, the muscles in his throat shifting. "I just-it was like a voice, but not really, and I needed the strength and the speed to keep him back, and there was some anger but it just broke through. I didn't even change into it. I was still-_normal_." His voice rose. "One second just plain Beast Boy, and the next…that-that thing-!"

"It's not a thing," Raven said but she felt herself falling into the deep clutches of fear, the deep fall of that despair. All of this happening now: Slade's return, Robin's obsessiveness, the Beast; this could destroy the team. It could destroy every one of them and she had to stop it-no matter the cost.

She must have been staring off into space because she suddenly heard Beast Boy saying her name and felt him shaking her shoulders.

"I'm fine," she replied brittly, her gaze refocusing on his shining eyes. "And it's not a thing. It's a part of you, and it's in every one of us."

"But none of you have to deal with it bursting out of you-" his voice dropped to a croak, "-and it almost came out when I was fighting with Robin. Robin's my teammate, and if I let go for just a second-it will rip out of me-" She noticed that he did not label Robin as his friend.

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall with a strange finality, sounding weary and defeated. "I can't let it out. I can't let it hurt y-any of you."

_I need to end this now, _Raven thought, feeling a dull ache at the pain on his features. As annoying as the old Beast Boy was, she couldn't bear to see this one-conflicted, angry, and with that haunted look in his lifeless eyes. She would give anything to see him pulling pranks, swapping out Cyborg's motor oil with chicken grease, or rigging the training room with water balloons.

Beast Boy lifted his head and his eyes snapped open as he again smelled that sudden fear scent from Raven.

"Raven, what's going on?" he demanded, gripping her by the elbows. She stood up, her face hard planes beneath the stoic expression.

"I need rest, Beast Boy," she replied wearily, which was true, but that wasn't all she was planning to do while resting. There was a conversation she needed to have with a certain someone…

"Oh," he released her arms, and laughed sheepishly. "Right. I'll just-"

She didn't hear what he was going to do because she was already gone. There would be no more torturing. She was going to save the rest of the Titans, no matter the cost to herself.

_ "We need to talk," she demanded, the instance she was sure she had transference of her consciousness was complete. Sure enough, there he sat, twenty feet from her, sitting on an imaginary chair, a newspaper obscuring his face. The tip of his fedora hat peeked out at her, but he paid her no mind._

_ She hadn't come here unprepared. She felt the cold touch as he probed her mentally, but she was making a conscious effort to block her thoughts. She had never had to before because no one else had the same abilities as her, but she was too readable and she needed every advantage she could find, even if a very slight one. After all this was the Devil, she was speaking of, not some ordinary demon._

_ He had let his paper droop a little, to show his ordinary face, the eyes glittering with amusement. Yet it was not like Beast Boy's humor, but like the cold gaze of a snake._

_ "Holding out on me, are you?" he asked, with an indulgent smile. _

_ "I'm not here to talk about that. Or you. Or me," she said sharply, making a slashing motion with her hand. "This is about the Titans."_

_ "Mmhmm," he said, not really paying attention to her. She ignored it. He was only here to mess with her, and his inattention was just a ruse to get her to lose control. Of course, just because she knew that it didn't mean that it wasn't working. _

_ "I want to make you a deal," she continued a little slower, hoping to tempt him into looking up at her. He didn't._

_ He shrugged in a noncommital way and licked his fingertips. Slowly and calmly he turned to the next page, the ruffling sound of the newspaper's folds strangely sharp and crisp. "If I wanted to make a deal, I would have sent Mephistophiles. Paperwork is so very dull." There was a short pause, then he went on in a casual manner, as if discussing the weather," By the way, did you hear about Slade? Veeery, interesting..."_

_ "We both know who's at fault," she interceded, tired of his games._

_ "Really?" he looked up, letting the newspaper wall fall, and regarded her with mild surprise. "Who?"_

_ Her eyes narrowed. Why was he wasting her time with such games?_

_ "You."_

_ "Wrong." His curt reply was very sudden as if he had been prepared for her answer. He laid the newspaper down on his lap, so he could regard her with that haunting gaze. "There are many things which I can do, but making things occur is not within my power."_

_ "Not true." Her haste and anger made her brittle and made her vulnerable to his trickery, but she had to save the others at whatever cost. "You make-"_

_ His cutoff was even sharper than hers. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah," he said softly until she stopped speaking. "The key word is make and that's where you're wrong. I can influence people and tempt them, even evoke stronger emotional responses, like with your friend Robin, but when it comes down to it, the only person responsible for your choices is you." He nodded sagely to himself and then lifted the paper again._

_ "So why is it that as soon as you appear bad things start to happen?" she demanded._

_ "Because we know that they're coming."_

_ "And here I thought we were given free choice," she remarked drily with her usual sarcasm._

_ "Now, now, young lady, no one's saying you weren't! But every decision you make is a crossroads." The ink on the newspaper had vanished, only to be replaced by a map of forked lines, each stroke like an opening into the abyss. She immediately thought of a subway map. "And we-" he tapped his curved nose with a bony finger-"have a special skill for smelling these out. Like a subway system, there are multiple crossroads, but they all get tangled together in a pile of mush." Instantly, the web of straight lines became curved, and twisted, like soggy cereal, and fell together into a dark mass. _

_ "Humanity," he said like it was a curse. He pinched an edge of the web and flicked his wrist as if airing out a sheet and the map righted itself on the paper. "Of course, the small ones-" his finger traced a miniature fork in the web "-don't generally matter. Who cares if you choose to wear a blue shirt in the morning instead of a black one? Who cares what you choose to eat for breakfast?" He shrugged nonchalantly and spread his hands out, palm up, almost in an act of repentance. Then his face creased into a knowing leer, his eyes catching hers. "But..."_

_ He didn't complete the thought, instead letting it linger in the air menacingly._

_ "What's your favorite breakfast food, Rae?" he asked innocently. She stiffened at the use of the nickname. _

_ "Don't call me that," she stated flatly, but the emotion within her had grown thousandfold, forcing its way to the surface. _

_ He grinned apologetically but fires danced in his eyes._

_ "C'mon, give me a food."_

_ "I don't eat breakfast," she replied adamantly._

_ "Well, then, I'll feel free to create my own." A plate appeared in front of him, hovering around his midsection. A dreamy look entered his eyes as he considered his options. "Mmmm, eggs of course, sunny side up-" At each food it appeared on his plate, hot and steaming, looking fresh off the grill. "-maple honey ham-" he looked up, as if suddenly remembering that she was there. "Oh, you don't mind, do you?"_

_ Raven knew it was rhetorical and she paid it no mind. _

_ "Of course not." He continued, thinking aloud. "Sausages naturally, heck, best to just go with the works." At this a golden Belgian waffle dusted with generous amounts of sugar and syrup followed the sausages._

_ A knife and a fork had appeared in his hands and with apparent gusto he dug into the pile, an expression of rapture stealing over his features. Her stomach rumbled and she pressed a hand to it to quiet it. His expression feigned deafness, but the thin smile proved that he had heard._

_ "Say, that instead of a cup of tea," he began after a while, speaking through a mouthful and pointing at her with his fork, "you choose to have a full breakfast. The works." _

_ "Mmmm, this is delicious," he mumbled thickly, forking a couple sausages into his mouth. "Wonderful creation and brainpower," he complimented her. "Real top form."_

_ She gave him a flat stare, trying to keep her emotions in check._

_ "Now where was I? Oh, yes. Breakfast," he said, delicately dabbing at the corners of his mouth with a napkin. "Say because you enjoy that full breakfast, you miss your morning train to work. That train you were going to get on, has a-very tragic accident," he said with apparent relish, baring pointed teeth. She shrank back mentally. His bloodlust terrified her. "Because you weren't on that train, you were...saved. Or vice versa. You miss the safe train and end up on the tra-"_

_ "I get it," she snapped, cutting him short. "But that's chance, not moral decision."_

_ "True, true," he said, raising a finger, "but such a disaster could lead to moral conflict. Let's look at an example a little closer to home."_

_ She struggled to keep her mind closed as a fresh wave of despair washed over her, knowing what was coming. The matter of fact way which he said it made it all the more bitter to hear._

_ "You, the sole survivor of a wasted Azarath. Your only family responsible for its destruction."_

_ "He's not my family."_

_ "Not in role perhaps, but in blood...very much. And you...you bearing such destruction for Earth, your only home-"_

_ "Enough," she cut him off in a low dangerous voice. He fell silent but it didn't matter. She could already see Azarath burning, with unquenchable fires. Her father had managed that one victory over a peaceful planet. And she had brought the destruction. She pushed the pain aside and faced him, trying to look for all the world as if the words which had bitten deep had had no effect whatsoever._

_ "You see," he continued, knowing his point proven. "These are the pivotal moments when we can push you over the edge. These are the low points of your inferior existence when you doubt everything you've ever stood for." He spread his arms. "And that's what we're here for." He rose, leaving his paper behind him and it melted into thin air. She refused to meet his gaze, staring out at an imaginary horizon as he circled her, all within arm's reach. "We're not allowed to touch you, of course, or push events in any manner. We can influence you, but only if you allow us to. Of course, Raven," he said with a note of satisfaction, fingering a lock of her hair, "you are the exception, being half-demon. But I do have a promise to keep, don't I?" _

_ She refused to respond to his closeness, and refused to meet his eyes. He was nothing. He didn't matter. What he said didn't matter. None of that was true, but she was not going to lose her control because he goaded her. There was more at stake than old wounds being reopened and pain refreshed._

_ He sighed through his nose lengthily, releasing her tresses, and his eyes glittered with secret fires. "No, we can't touch men." He was somewhere behind her now, and before she could suppress the urge, her hands spasmed briefly into fists. His disembodied voice floated towards her, far too close for her liking. "But we can whisper," he hissed softly in her ear. He waited a moment for her reaction and when there was none he drew away and continued conversationally. "You know it's funny, how we worm our way into the place you consider safest, most sacred. Our wills compel your very minds. People fall apart, you see. They can stand their ground when it's in front of them, real and solid, but when it's in their head there's no escape. None whatsoever," he added in a low snarl that jolted her mentally. _

_ "Why the Titans?" she burst out hoarsely. She knew that she was being selfish, but she couldn't help it. "There are so many others…" _

_ "Yes, there are, aren't there?" His eyes searched her features, and he flashed a pointy-toothed smile. "They don't really tell you this but every one of you counts as something. Every one of you is a victory, a triumph against all else. Every soul is a battlefield. One versus the other."_

_ "Good and evil," she stated flatly._

_ "I really don't like that word, evil," he admonished her, shaking his head. "The two sides, I think we'll just call it that, strain until the turning point in which a man, or woman," he conceded nodding at her, "makes that decision to fight on or let all go."_

_ "You mean evil. Don't deny it," she challenged him roughly. _

_ Flames flickered briefly in his dark eyes, and the whiteness likewise flickered to black for a moment. "If you will call it that," he allowed, once he had regained his control._

_ "That may be true," she challenged him with a quite defiance in her monotone, "but you've implied that you're one of the fallen, so I can assume that I'll have some higher help. Or at least, that the Titans will."_

_ "Oh, you won't see any of them," he remarked contemptuously, finished with his circling and standing before her. _

_ He answered the unspoken question 'why not?' with disdainful laughter. _

_ "Because they want you to choose without them harping on you...I think you knew that already."_

_ "So they do exist?" she asked a little breathlessly. The expression was erased from his features and his face became a blank mask that she couldn't read. _

_ "Who said that?" he asked innocently. "Anyways, I don't need you to choose, I just need you to fall-not you specifically, of course," he added as an afterthought._

_ "That would make this a very one sided conversation," she remarked coldly._

_ "More like an argument," he sighed sadly, "but yes it would, wouldn't it? But back to the Titans. I could easily pressure an ordinary person into falling, but your friends, they're so precious, so good." His eyes gleamed. "It eases our burdens you see-the further the fall, the sweeter." He licked his lips and a shadow of hunger pinched his lean sallow face. He suddenly seemed inhuman. Then the shadow disappeared._

_ "I want to make a deal with you," she tried again carefully, keeping the desperation from her voice. He probably could catch snatches of it there, though. _

_ He pinched the bridge of his hooked nose. "Why? What do you have to offer that I could possibly want from you?"_

_ She took a deep breath and let the words out with an unnatural strength._

_ "My soul." _

_ But her heart quivered and her whole body screamed for her to take back the words._

_ "Your soul, eh?" He sighed, took of his fedora hat, and dusted it off, inspecting the brim before returning it to his head. "I thought I explained this already."_

_ "Not to me," she replied icily. Why would he turn down her offer? She had spent all her life fighting her father's influence, fighting the evil within herself. If that wasn't a fall, she didn't know what was. If that didn't sate his need to fulfill the "misery loves company" saying, she didn't know what would._

_ "Alright then, here's a quick rundown," he said briskly. " Why am I going to pay for something that I'm going to get in the end? Don't act surprised, Ms. Raven," he added quickly, reading into her blank expression, "we both know your chemical makeup and we both know where you'll be going at the end of your life. You've known since the monks took you in. I don't intend to pay for something which is already mine, it would be utterly ridiculous."_

_ "Don't you want me dead?" she tried again, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't I getting in the way of your plans?"_

_ "Raven!" he exclaimed with mock surprise, looking absolutely staggered. "Don't you know me better than that? I don't want you dead until you fall, then you can be mine."_

_ "Here I thought you didn't want my soul," she said with a note of triumph. Maybe there still was a way…if she could stop the suffering now, and keep them from falling…_

_ "Well, I can't admit that it wouldn't be nice to have the set," he mused, sizing her up. "But I'll have the collection soon enough."_

_ "Wrong," she growled, a flicker of anger racing through her. Her powers danced at her fingertips. He didn't even look down, absolutely confident in his power. _

_ "Deny it all you want, but I made sure to be present so no one could botch it up. I have millions of years more expertise than some of my _best_ officers." He straightened his tie, buttoned his jacket, and lifted his hat carefully. "Good day, Ms. Raven."_

_ One blink and he was gone._

_ She felt limp and boneless, and every breath hurt. He didn't want even her soul. That had been her main bargaining chip, her one hope. After all, why would he show up to taunt her and tell her all his plans if he hadn't been targeting her all along? But he hadn't taken the bait. The Titans were still on the menu._

A/N: Please leave me a review! This story is far from perfect, and I look forward to ideas for future chapters! :)


	6. Chapter 6: Respite Part I

A/N: OK, so I haven't gotten a review since chapter 4, and I feel like I've scared people away by revealing the demon's actual form. That was not at all my intention but I don't know what's wrong if you don't review!

Now that I'm done begging you to inflate my ego, on with the story!

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, I wished on a falling star that I would own Teen Titans. Alas, my wish has yet to come true...

Chapter 6: Respite Part I

_A dark liquid dripped from his claws, its taste on his tongue. The thick scent of blood lingered heavily in the air, and the crisp night air ruffled his fur with a sweet caress. Tendrils of moonlight painted the world about him in sharp detail, the shadows forming errant pools under the trees, his path dappled in moonlight._

_ He threw back his head and howled the song of the hunt, the song of the kill. His enemies, age-long foes, lay thwarted and slain about him. They could challenge him no more. _This _was how he was meant to live, out in the open, out in the wild, free- _

Beast Boy shifted slightly from where he sat against the wall next to Raven's room.

Silence stretched in a fragile plane around him. He could hear the faint shushing of the waves down at the shore, their murmur a gentle lullaby. No birdcries; sleep had taken them with the sunlight. His eyelids began to droop and then snapped back open as he shook himself.

He had always been restless and compulsive, but sleep was never an issue for him. He had a comfy mattress, covers if he needed them, and zzzz...he was out like a light and he usually slept until noon. Heck, animals could sleep just about anywhere and it was no different with him.

But not tonight. His body ached for sleep and begged for rest, but his mind was racing at a thousand miles per hour. He wished absentmindedly that there was a shutoff switch for his brain, just like the remote for the TV.

Of course, that wouldn't fix the problem. He could go to sleep easily enough, but he didn't want to. He had barely closed his eyes when he had seen_...it_.

He shuddered in revulsion, the memory causing his heart to thrum frantically from within the cage of his ribs. He shook his head, trying to erase the memory of the blood pooled at his feet...of the lifeless eyes accusing him from their owners' torn bodies. The Beast.

There could be no sleep after that.

So what better to do than immerse himself in some mind numbing video games?

Except for the fact that Raven had destroyed the gamestation earlier.

Rats.

And that, of course, had turned his thoughts to Raven, and her nightmares and somehow he had wound up in front of her door, doing nothing but sitting. And it was ridiculous that he was here, and he even _knew _that it was ridiculous that he was here...after all, he was doing absolutely nothing and his presence wasn't going to prevent Raven's nightmares. Not to mention, she wasn't likely to welcome him if she found him slumped here, asleep. Or awake, for that matter.

_At least,_ he thought, letting the back of his head rest against the wall, _I can hear if she's having a nightmare_. She would never accept his comfort, but still…he could say that he had tried. Mostly, he didn't want her to suffer in silence and the memory of her fear scent lingered thick in his nostrils. He worried for her. After Slade had blown up those buildings, it was as if the light of life had died in her eyes. That gaze haunted his soul. The only time he could ever recall seeing it on Raven's face was the other time Slade had returned, this time to remind Raven of the prophecy. Complete and utter fear and... hopelessness with the knowledge that she had already lost the battle she was fighting. That was what he had seen.

Whatever it was, it had to be bad, as in Trigon scale bad. Or worse, if that was even possible.

He briefly contemplated this. Maybe there was something else Raven hadn't told them about. Maybe, _maybe_ her mother was part angel and there was a prophecy there concerning her next birthday...except Raven wasn't supposed to have survived to her next birthday and even to his sleep deprived mind, none of that made sense!

The tips of his ears twitched reflexively at the ghost of a sound. So far nothing, not even a whimper. His ears pricked again at a low rustling but then silence ensued, a heavy dank silence which he feared to break. He didn't have to sit here. Maybe he could tire himself out to the point where his dreams would not visit him. The gym of course. But workouts only made him aggressive and that brought the Beast out.

His eyelids drifted shut. Nope, he wasn't going to sleep. He couldn't sleep at all even if he tried. He was just resting his eyes, that was all. Besides, the gym was Robin's territory and he didn't want to invade...His chin dropped onto his chest. He could go flying, and let the sweet night air flow over his wings...

The bookshelves loomed ceiling high around Raven, full to the brim with answers to meaningless questions. She looked at the yellow cloaked emotion seated before her, reading a scroll so fast that her eyes were dark blurs in their sockets.

"Intelligence," she addressed the yellow-cloaked emotion, who did not look up, still scanning the dark parchment.

She waved her hand and a mound of books, scrolls, and loose paper floated off the table and into a corner, freeing the chair across from her for Raven.

"I wondered when you'd come by," the yellow clad emotion spoke crisply and with a proper lack of emotion which was fitting. Intelligence was less of an emotion and more of an aspect.

"Have you found anything?" Raven asked, sitting.

Intelligence sighed and allowed the scroll to furl closed.

"Nothing. But you know that. You've been here before, and there's nothing you've forgotten, nothing I can help with."

"Then why are you still searching?"

"Because _you're _still searching," she replied briskly, dragging a thick volume towards her and clearing the pages of dust. "I've looked, I've looked at every scrap of writing, even Azarathian literature. There's nothing."

"So there's nothing to be done?" Raven asked for affirmation, her heart sinking.

"Whether I say yes or no isn't going to change what you're going to do, is it?" Raven didn't even need to shake her head. "If it may help at all, you may be asking the wrong questions."

A point of hope blossomed within her, but she suppressed it, unwilling to face the despair if she was wrong. "Explain."

"You keep searching for ways to stop him and best him. However, you may want to look, instead, at the extent of his powers. Or any intervention."Raven shied away from the last suggestion and Intelligence did not press it. "Or ask again why the Titans? It seems rather sudden-"

"The problem is that whatever he answers, he could be lying," Raven cut in. If she let the yellow-cloaked emotion get on a roll, she could be sitting there for hours. "And that doesn't tell me why he feels the need monologue about his plans every chance he gets."

"Perhaps it is merely his opportunity to gloat," Intelligence said. She primly straightened her glasses on her nose with her forefinger. "Yet I agree that the pieces do not fit. If he's looking to tempt people of high morals, then he should, theoretically, be targeting the Justice League: Superman, or Batman, or any of the others. Of course, we don't know if he's not targeting them, he might simply not be telling us about them. Which defeats the whole gloating theory in its entirety."

"So it is about me," Raven stated, her eyes wandering along the shelves and contours of the library. "If it's about me then I should-"

"Leave?" Intelligence finished, frowning. She leaned back slightly, and the faint light flashed menacingly off her glasses. "You can't leave, Raven, because he's not after you, he's after them. That and running is not the solu-" Abruptly Intelligence trailed off, a dazed look spreading over her face. Raven could practically see the gears turning in the emotion's head, and she snapped impatiently, "What is it?" She gripped the table so hard her knuckles turned white. The emotion's face smoothed out, but the dark eyes behind the glasses gleamed. "Intelligence?"

"He claimed that he has no causal effects whatsoever; he cannot make events occur the way he wants them to. He can only sense the approach of potentially malignant or life-changing occurrences and exert his influence on the involved individuals." She leaned forward, her words coming faster and faster with the excitement of her revelation. "He can just sense them. As long as you can keep them out of harm's way, as long as you can keep them safe, he cannot touch them."

"Again, he could be lying," Raven proposed as she stood, crossing her arms and turning from the emotion. This was not the rock-solid answer she had wanted.

"But it makes sense," Intelligence remarked loftily, sensing her doubt. "Some of the most religious of people have had their share of misfortunes, while others have not. And, in the end, man always has freedom of choice, and the freedom to choose right over wrong. If you maintain your influence around the Titans and help them through the rough times ahead, you may be able to avoid a tragedy or some moral-bending occurrence, and simultaneously avoid that choice which the Titans might make out of rage, or revenge. The wrong choice which may cause them to fall, and then the Devil, of course, will immediately try to kill them so he can collect their souls and so they will lose all chance of redemption-"

"You make it sound so easy," Raven muttered, turning her head from side to side. She had to keep the Titans safe from harm and counsel them if anything did happen. She had to become the watchdog of the team, spending long hours and extra power safeguarding them, physically and mentally. She was going to be running around like a madwoman, but she would gladly do it, as long as it kept them safe. They had suffered on her account once before, and she didn't intend to let them suffer again because of her.

"What of the others?"

Intelligence's piercing gaze searched her. "You could find out for yourself." Raven shifted in place, shuffling her feet, but she let her question stand.

"They are faring poorly," Intelligence admitted with a sigh after a moment. "I would guess that you would rather not visit their realms because then it will affect you even further. Brave is focusing on her physical strength, and-"

"You mean Rambo's bulking up, big time," came a lazy drawl from behind them. Raven turned to see Rude leaning against one of the shelves nonchalantly, her orange hood sagging low over her face. "24/7 practice in the ring. She almost tore my head off-"

Raven showed Rude her back, looking expectantly at Intelligence. Intelligence cleared her throat, tearing her eyes from the orange-clad emotion. "Yes, well, Happy is miserable and that's dragging Timid down with her because they usually balance each other, and Affection isn't there to even the balance. She's with Brave, urging her on in her training."

Raven heard a series of low burps from behind them but she paid them no mind. Rude wasn't even worth addressing.

At least, until a spit wad hit her in the back of her head. She whipped around, glaring furiously at the overly-innocent looking emotion.

"Don't mind me," Rude said.

"Raven," Intelligence said seriously, closing her book, "I've been thinking-"

"That's all you ever do, Four-Eyes," Rude jeered.

"You're not welcome here, Rude," Raven said crossly, folding her arms.

"Whatever you say, _Ravey-Wavey_," the orange-cloaked emotion replied snidely, yawning widely and showing off her tonsils.

Intelligence looked down meekly. "I invited her here," she admitted, flicking her eyes away from Raven.

"You never use me," Rude complained, picking at an ear, and inspecting the finger. "I'm bored to death."

"Not my-" Nevermore rumbled and shook with a tremor, throwing Raven off balance. A few books tumbled off their shelves before the trembling stopped. She looked to Intelligence for answers.

"Emotional induction," Intelligence remarked with a shrug. So something was going on outside. Someone was close by, their emotions raging wildly over her, and in turn it was affecting her through her empathy.

Raven assumed the lotus position and opened the portal back into the real world.

Beast Boy must've dozed off because suddenly he found himself staring up at the very annoyed face of a certain empath. She looked slightly disheveled, her hair hanging about her face in lone strands and dark shadows streaked across her eyes, emphasizing the amethyst of her eyes and the paleness of her skin. And she looked angry, of course. He couldn't forget that small detail.

"What are you doing?" she demanded scathingly.

"Heh heh," he chuckled, scrambling upwards as his mind likewise scrambled for an excuse.

When he found none, he went with the truth.

"Lying in front of your door." He found new interest with the floor and glued his eyes to it.

"I'm aware of that," she said with a touch of exasperation. "_Why _are you lying in front of my door?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay..." he said, peeking upwards in an attempt to read her blank expression.

Her mouth tightened into thin slash. Go to sleep," came the command.

He didn't want to go to sleep and dream of that hulking creature looming over him with its breath smelling of rancid meat in that oppressive darkness.

"I'm sorry about earlier..." he said quickly. Raven's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Don't be sorry when there's nothing to be sorry about," she replied flatly. _I can't dream, I can't go back to sleep! _he thought and desperately scrambled for a topic of conversation.

"So...read any good books lately?"

Raven stared at him. And stared at him some more. He sweatdropped, and let his eyes drop again to his feet. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best conversation starter. But she stepped out of her room, letting the door slide shut behind her.

"Beast Boy, what do you want?"

His ears drooped at her accusing tone, and his thin shoulders curled inwards.

"Nothing," he whispered a little miserably, avoiding her piercing glare. "I didn't mean to bother you. I'll just..." he chuckled again, but there was no mirth in it..."go to bed..." He turned stiffly and began to shuffle away.

He just wanted company, she realized with a twinge of guilt. His fear surrounded him in a thick cloud. And it all stemmed from the Beast. She could understand this part of himself that he feared because that was in her as well and if he had dreams like the ones she sometimes had... It was no wonder that he couldn't find sleep.

"Wait," she said sharply, laying a hand on his upper arm. He hesitated, and his eyes flickered from her hand and then back up at her face, and the spasm of indecision that wracked it. She released him, her face growing warm, and hesitated. She didn't mind having his company, and after he had done so much to lift her spirits it seemed only fair that she did the same for him. He clearly was suffering under the burden of the Beast.

She opened the door to her room and stepped inside, looking over her shoulder at him. "Come in." He paused in the entranceway, peering nervously into the darkness of her room. She looked at him expectantly. He rocked on his heels for a moment, swallowed and then followed her.

She closed the door after him and he stood uncertainly in the middle of the room, not touching anything.

"Sit," she said and he slowly did so, crossing his legs.

She lit a few candles carefully. They threw a dim smeary light over them, and cast half of his face in sharp dancing shadows. His expression was unreadable. Even his emotions were unreadable. His animalistic qualities made it difficult for her to identify his feelings sometimes, and now those emotions were a sickening blur which she didn't even want to try to decipher.

She sat crosslegged across from him, trying to think about what she was going to do. There were several ways to restrain unwanted emotions or feelings, but many of them were not favorable in this situation, and could alter one's personality. She watched him absentmindedly, discarding method after method. He studied the walls, the artifacts, everything around him uneasily. Like the other Titans, he was not comfortable in her room and he fidgeted slightly, clearly restless and uneasy.

"So...Raven..." he broke the silence, his fingers drumming on his knees. "What are we doing?"

"I'm going to find a way to restrain the Beast's aspect so you won't be in danger of losing control," she replied.

He looked at her sharply, searching her features for the truth. "You can do that?"

"Hopefully. It all depends on how hard the Beast fights back." She sensed his hesitance but did not address it. He would address it himself.

"Raven, this isn't going to..." he paused, searching for the wording, "you can't be hurt doing this, can you?" Worry gleamed in his eyes.

"No, Beast Boy," she explained. He sighed in relief. "I'm not going to enter your head, I'm only going to be on the surface. You won't be able to harm me in any way."

Raven leaned forward and reached for him. Physical contact was not necessary, but it enhanced the connection and made her presence stronger. He withdrew slightly, then allowed her fingers to press against his temples. She closed her eyes, focusing all her mental powers into a single point and gently touched his mind.

_A heavy humid darkness surrounded her, wet and rank like the inside of a dog's mouth. It pressed on her eyeballs, completely stifling. She couldn't be sure that this was the place, but the heart of the instinctual impulses seemed to flow from here._

_ Almost as if in answer to her uncertainty, a low growl greeted her and something flashed past her at the corner of her vision. Instinct surged around her in a wave, pulsing, throbbing, and growing. _Run, fight, protect. Eat, hunt, sleep. Survive.

_A pair of startled eyes opened up in the darkness, wide and blank. The Beast's eyes. Yet the Beast did not move, nor did it try to push away the imprint of her within Beast Boy's mind. Carefully she pressed the instincts deeper and deeper into his mind, as far back as possible. _

_ The whole while the Beast just eyed her carefully, as if he was trying to gauge a threat. He did not move to attack her or make any motion at all. She hesitated. She could create barriers for these instincts and lock them away, much as she did with her Rage. But would it be safe to do this? While Beast Boy refused to acknowledge it, his instincts were a greater merit to him than detriment, and putting them away like that could prove harmful, both physically and mentally, _

_ She made her decision and left the instincts in the back of his mind, far from the surface where they could readily influence him, but close enough to still guide him. After all, that was all that the Beast was-the manifestation of Beast Boy's instincts._

Raven pulled herself carefully from the darkness, avoiding the banks of Beast Boy's memories, while the blank eyes of the Beast watched her grow more and more distant. She opened her eyes to find Beast Boy's face inches from hers, his sparkling green eyes searching her expression.

"Was that...was that it?" he asked, a little breathlessly, reaching up and pulling her hands from his temples. "Have you done away with it…for good?" His voice trembled hopefully.

She frowned at the wording of his question. "What do you mean by that?"

"Is it locked up somewhere so it can never get out? So it can never hurt anyone?" he explained in a rush.

She realized that he had not released her hands and that he was a little too close for comfort. A soft blush painted her features, and she distanced herself from him, averting her eyes.

"It's never good to lock up a part of yourself, Beast Boy," she admonished him, trying to dispel the warmth from her face. Why was his nearness always affecting her like this! It had to be hormones. And stress. Thankfully, Beast Boy didn't seem to have noticed.

His eyebrows crashed together into a V, creasing the smooth skin of his forehead. "What about you? Are you telling me that you don't have that Trigon dude chained up in some distant corner of your mind?"

"This is _not _about me," she stated curtly. Why did he always turn everything around? And why did he have to draw such comparisons? She had feared that he would say that his Beast and her demon were the same, but they weren't, they could never be the same. The Beast was all that remained of survival instinct in man, manifested more strongly because of Beast Boy's animalistic qualities. Her demon was evil, pure evil. You could not compare evil with survival; there simply was no connection.

"Well, if you're going to give me advice, you had better make sure to follow it yourself," he pouted, leaning back. He was addressing this with that classic Beast Boy stubbornness. He had crossed his arms, and the light glassed up eerily in his eyes, like cat eyes. She did not contradict him but closed her eyes, trying to relax her thoughts.

"You need to stop treating the Beast like that," she murmured emotionlessly, feeling less affected by him with her eyes closed.

"Like what?" he asked, completely clueless. She could almost see the total puzzlement on his face, (if only in her head) his eyes cranked open as wide as they would go, brows raised comically, mouth hanging open. A smile quirked the corner of her lips before she controlled it. _He is _not _funny, under any circumstance. Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. _ "Like it's your enemy," she said, trying to clear her mind of his imagined face. It was enough that he was bothering her 24/7; she didn't need him in her head too.

A spike of emotions forewarned her of his coming outburst. "It is! It nearly killed Robin! It nearly killed you! Now it nearly killed Slade!"

She let out a low sigh and opened her eyes. "You cannot fight with what is a part of yourself."

She knew she'd said the wrong thing when he started grinning, his fang gleaming in the half-light. "What?" she snapped, irritation creeping into her tone.

"You just used the biggest cliche of all time, Rae," he said cheekily. "That was a quote from Star Battles," be began dramatically, "Episode III, when the BladeMaster Y-" He was cut off as a bar of black energy appeared over this mouth, preventing him from speaking.

"_Fo-cus_," she growled. "And stop avoiding the issue." The gag dissipated, and he cried indignantly "It's not a part of me!" After a moment, he looked away from her, shifting his weight. "It was just a part of the chemicals, because of that one night-"

"The chemicals enhanced what was already there," she cut in sharply, quickly losing patience. The monks had trained her not to be affected emotionally under even the most testing circumstances, but Beast Boy somehow managed to tax her in ways that no one else could. It was not a gift. It was a curse (at least as far as she was concerned). He was probably proud of it.

"Then why did it affect Adonis, too?" he demanded, still refusing to look at her.

"Because the same instincts are in Adonis," she explained slowly. "They are in every creature, every human being. They are key to all of our survivals." She watched him wrestle with the concept. He clenched his jaw, turning his head from side to side, as if he could find the answers floating around him. She still couldn't read his emotions but he clearly was in denial.

Raven moderated her tone so it was a degree softer. "It's different for me, Beast Boy. I can't let Rage influence me in any way; one slip up and you could all end up dead. You, on the other hand, can afford otherwise."

"You think it's any different for me?" he demanded in full cry. "I know what it feels like Raven. It's in you," he said, placing a hand on his chest, right over his heart, "ripping, tearing you to pieces and it just wants to be free." His voice dropped to the point where she barely heard it. "That's how it is with the Beast."

Her patience was running thin. She knew the feel of the Beast and the feel of her inner demon and they were drastically different. "Beast Boy, tell me a time when the Beast actually hurt one of us," she demanded.

"Never, but he came close-!" he argued indignantly.

"True," she conceded. "However, when it came down to it, the Beast only acted that way out of protection instinct." She made eye contact with him, trying to convey her meaning through her gaze as well as her words. "You were just trying to keep me safe," she said reassuringly. "There is good intent behind that. None of that exists for my demon. You have to stop treating the Beast like that," she continued over his protests and wild gestures, "because you _need _it. You can deny it all you want but your reflexes, some of your enhanced characteristics...those come from it, and without it, you will suffer in battle, and on an everyday basis. You will have an internal fight on your hands, Beast Boy, because no animal wants to be caged. The Beast is no different."

He shrugged, shoulders and ears both drooping defeatedly. "I'll try." She didn't push him for more than that. Everything came in baby steps. His head snapped up, and he considered her, a question in his gaze.

"Rae-"

"_Not _Rae."

"Rae-Rae?" he asked, eyes gleaming playfully. She glared at him. She had never accepted any of his pet names and she wasn't about to start now. "Raenbow? Rave? Ravey?" His voice grew more desperate as he continued. Intuition sparked in his eyes and he cried triumphantly. "Ravey Wavey?"

"I don't know where you got that last one from," she said drily, "but you already know that the answer is no."

"Heh, right..." he chuckled, eyes downcast, and in a moment of defiance muttered, "I think I got that last one from your head." She sweatdropped.

His head jerked up. "How about just Rae?" He clasped his hands on his lap at her frown, leaning way over and pleading, with a big pouting lip. "I won't use anything else, _just_ that." He tilted his head so the full force of his gleaming eyes hit her. "Please, please, please, please, _pleeeeeaaaaase?_" She didn't say anything for a long while, and a triumphant smile began to curve his lips.

"No."

"Hey, you can't say no when you didn't even look at me," he argued, straightening. "I didn't put in all that work for nothing...Rae?" The name lingered in the air hopefully.

"I have a name, _Garfield_," she growled scathingly, hoping that the irritation was clear in her voice. She was not going to put up with his _ridiculous_, meaningless little pet names. "Ra-ven. _Two _syllables."

He didn't even hear her and she grumbled to herself. He stared off at some point in the distance, mouth hanging open. "Wow, we got off topic," he remarked in awe.

"The miracle which is you," she replied sarcastically.

"So what's going on?" Something in his emotions shifted and she knew that he was back on track. She wanted to sigh. She much preferred the usual exchange of banter...it was so normal, and strangely comforting. _All of that is going to end once he_- She choked that thought off. She would _not _let that happen.

"I don't know what you mean by that," she drawled innocently.

Beast Boy inhaled deeply from across from her, and then shook his head.

"C'mon, Rae, I think I can read you better than that."

"I doubt you've ever read in your whole life," she said flatly with an attempt at their usual banter. _Read what? _Did he have some power she wasn't aware of? Out of all of them, only he managed to draw conclusions about her emotions...and he was always right. It was more than just guessing. _Some_how he knew.

Raven," he said pleadingly, widening his emerald eyes.

"No."

"You haven't been right for a while. Since that night when you lost control-" he mused to himself in a light, almost sing-song fashion.

"Beast Boy…" she warned him but he continued on, heedless of the tightening of her fists on her knees.

"…and then you were _really_ scared when Slade showed up…"

"Beast Boy," she said sternly.

He tapped his chin with a gloved finger, staring off into the distance.

"...And then you've been acting _extra _secretive, and trying to hide something-

"Garfield!" she growled, and the candles all went out with a whoosh, plunging them into bitter darkness. That was not her intention but somehow, like usual, Beast Boy had found his way under her skin. In the darkness, safe from his gaze, she massaged her temples, letting out all her air with a low whoosh. Of course, she wasn't safe from his voice, which suddenly seemed magnified.

"I _knew _it," he remarked triumphantly. "I'm the greatest detective of all time!"

"Sure," she agreed sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes!"

"You can see me?" she asked sharply, trying to find some imprint of him in the darkness. She only had a sense of him from the direction of his voice.

"Not really, just an outline, but you always get this tone of voice..."

"Whatever you say, _Garfield._"

"You can call me De_tec_tive Garfield from now on-"

"You are _not _a detective, Beast Boy. I still don't even know what you found out," she droned, unimpressed. "I don't think _you _even know. The Greatest Detective is Batman, at least, according to Robin."

"Pfft, yeah right! No, Batman would just like to think that and since Robin's like Batman," he rambled, "Batman must have a HUGE superiority complex, which would explain why he _does _think that-"

"Beast Boy, you do realize that none of that made sense?"

"What? The logic was perfectly sound!" His voice cracked in pitch with the exclamation.

"Perfectly sound?" She raised an eyebrow though he couldn't see it. "Where did you pick that up from, a Sherlock Holmes movie?"

"Yeah," he admitted, his voice trailing off wistfully before he realized her stab at him. "Hey!"

She allowed herself a small smile, nothing much really, just because he couldn't see her anyways. The darkness pressed in on her, and she flicked the lightswitch with her powers. Beast Boy blinked at her like an owl, half-blinded. She didn't bother with the light that much since the lightbulb seemed to be broken half the time. Plus, the candles added a certain ambience that reminded her of Azarath.

Instead of Beast Boy, a small kitten curled up on her rug, looking at her with enormous eyes. He really meant to get to the bottom of this and that meant utilizing his number one method, which no girl in their right mind could resist, his signature move: the Face.

"That doesn't work on me, Beast Boy," she murmured, but she refused to look at him. She lifted her hood to conceal her face and the occasional emotions which he managed to glimpse. She felt a pair of soft paws on her knees, trying to find purchase so he could climb into her lap. She knew what he wanted. She would not give in.

A soft mewling came from below, soft, sweet, pleading and insistent. His whiskers skimmed her skin, making the nerves tingle.

Raven swallowed hard, her eyes fixed on her door, on her shelves, on her ceiling, anywhere but on him. Another begging meow reached her ears. Gently she formed a wall with her powers and pushed him away from her, back five feet on the carpet where she saw him tumble over out of the corner of her eye.

"I've tried everything to get you to open up to me!" came his angry voice after a moment, once he had shifted back. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"I do trust you. I trust you with my life," she said simply, but she could hear Robin's voice hissing furiously, _Do you think that she trusts you? She doesn't trust _any _of us!_

_Maybe he's right, _she thought sadly. _But I can't afford to trust any of them and pull them into this mess. The instant I do he'll target them, even more so, and who's to say that they'll believe me anyways?_

"Yeah, but that's the easy part, isn't it," he remarked bitterly. "You don't really have a choice when it comes to it, because either you trust us to save you and to watch your back, or you die. But you never trust us with the more important things."

"Like?" she raised a brow imperiously, but kept her tone infuriatingly polite. He threw his hands in the air in clear exasperation. Wherever that tender caring Beast Boy was, he wasn't here.

"Like when there's something going on with you, like that whole Trigon deal, and you never told us a thing!" His green eyes hardened like stone, unyielding and impenetrable. "You don't trust us to handle things and to make the right decisions-"

She bristled. "Not true." A blast of wind shook them, tussling her hair. "I've trusted you with more of myself than anyone else but some secrets are meant to be kept."

"Like the fact that you're half-demon?" She pressed her lips together tightly. "News flash, Rae, no one cared. No one cares now!"

"What happened to respecting my silence-" she said.

Unexpectedly he cut her off, his hand slashing through the air, slashing her words in two. "But it's bigger than that, isn't it?" She didn't argue that point. How could she? She was lying, and he knew it. He continued more softly, his voice dropping to a light murmur. "I've _never _smelled you so afraid before except when Slade revealed the prophecy thing, _way _back. What's got you so worked up now?"

_So smell is how he gets the upper hand, _she noted absentmindedly. "What's happening is a problem I need to deal with _on my own." _She emphasized the last words, hoping that he would hear her anger and stop interrogating her. Of course, hoping never got her anywhere. "Do you understand?"

"So we're back to the nothing argument."

"I don't want to have to say it's nothing again."

"You just did," he pointed out. A vein throbbed in her temple. This was usually the part when Beast Boy slinked away to let her blow off some steam before he ended up in the bay, but he just sat there like a rock, unmoving and immovable.

"Well, then I hope you get the point," she said through clenched teeth.

"Because _that's _why you lost control, because _that's _why you wrecked you room, because _that's _why you let Rage take you over!" he hissed in a whispered yell. She was unprepared for the sudden change, but quickly mastered her expression. He flung his hands up into the air jerkily, and she couldn't miss the red heat of anger that had spread over him.

"You keep asking what's wrong with me, but what I really want to know," she said, the edges of her gravely monotone fraying, "is what's wrong with you."

Confusion now, a strange swirling muddle, thought without clarity. He let his hands fall slowly back to his sides, his mind racing too fast for her to comprehend every flicker of feeling and thought.

"There's nothing wrong with me," he replied defensively. His eyes had left hers and were now looking somewhere over her left shoulder.

"Then why do you care?" she asked with a strange intensity which she had not meant to let slip.

"Because I'm your friend-"

"That's not a reason, Beast Boy, that's evasion. You're not my only friend in the Tower but you don't see them hounding me night and day." She leaned forward, her eyes burning hauntingly. "_Why _do you care?"

"Because-because," his eyes flickered anxiously around them, as if searching for answers, "because I hate to see you like this!" he burst out finally. "You're always hiding things from the team and nobody's out to hurt you-"

The oiliness to his thoughts, when he said those words, told her that it was false. "You're still not telling the truth."

She was aware of him reaching just to the side of her, and felt his gloved fingers brush past her hair as he pushed her hood down to her shoulders. She stiffened instinctively, and turned her eyes to him. Why were they so close?

"I wanted you to look at me," he explained sheepishly, his face mottled brown with a blush.

She resisted the impulse to raise her hood. Now she was out in the open. Defenseless. Helpless.

She liked her space and she liked her personal bubble. She didn't understand why some people, like Starfire, insisted on constant contact. All it did was make her uncomfortable, and it did nothing to emphasize the feelings of the moment.

Her heart skipped a beat as she stared into the depths of his emerald eyes, lit with that energy and sincerity. "Why?" she murmured softly, her monotone forgotten. He licked his lips nervously, looking just over her head.

"Because-I've gone through-I've gone through my own problems," he replied, and that strange pain laced his soft whisper. "And I wish that I had opened up to someone-" His eyes flickered back down to hers, and the hurt and betrayal in them made her heart ache for a moment. "No," he said bitterly. "I didn't and now I have to carry everything with me. I-"

This was getting out of hand.

Again.

He wanted to understand her, but what would talking about what she had gone through do? It wouldn't change her childhood. She had grown up with a mother who had looked at her regretfully, knowing that she would soon die. She had been taught that emotions were detrimental, and that they needed to be kept under lock and key at all times. She had gone through more than he ever had. She had grown up knowing that her only purpose was to bring her father into the world, and to bring destruction to Earth. What, so he had had his heart broken by Terra? That easily was one of the worst moments of his life. But besides that, what other moments were there to count in among those which pained him so? The times she threw him out the window? Did he want to talk about that?

"Is that what this is about?" she asked caustically. His brows furrowed a little, unprepared for the sudden harshness. "Do you want me to open up, so that you will have the chance to open up to me?" She knew it was wrong to continue but the angry sarcastic words, so long restrained, just spilled out of her. "Why don't we call in the rest of our friends to the meeting. We can sit in a circle and talk about our feelings. Is that what you want?"

"You know that's not what I want," he replied wearily, his eyes pools of sorrow and fatigue. All the fight had gone out of him. Her heart throbbed to look into his eyes, the eyes which lacked the luster of life, and gleam of innocence. The eyes of a person who had seen too much, who had had their whole world ripped away from them in an instant.

She wanted to say something along the lines of Terra and heartbreak but every emotion within her screamed for her to stop. If she said those words, she would never be able to take them back, and on top of that, they weren't true. She didn't know what Beast Boy had gone through, but she had sensed the emotional scars, probably the deepest of her teammates, from day one. And that had been long before he'd had his heart broken by Terra, long before he'd even met her. There was something more to his past, something more to his history which she was ignorant of. So she closed her mouth, swallowing the words before they could do irreversible damage.

"You-you should be able to get some sleep now," she said uncomfortably, turning the silence back to his own welfare. He shrugged dejectedly and his face did not revert back into that playful, open expression. He tugged at the fingers of his gloves, flexing his hands. What had she done? She felt guilty and responsible. She should have never attacked him like that.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," he murmured roughly, lines of grief deeply etched on his face.

She didn't want him to feel that she was forcing him out so she offered as calmly as possible, "If you want."

"Yeah, I do," he said readily. Somehow his quick decision hurt her more than any of Robin's comments ever had. He lifted himself off the ground laboriously and headed for the door. "Good night, Raven," he said in a dead voice at the doorway. He paused for a moment, then stepped through and melted into the darkness.

"Good night," she whispered. Then the unwanted silence engulfed her.

A/N: I had a lot of fun making Beast Boy and Raven's banter and I hope it just sounded normal enough. Also, I felt like the exchange between Raven and her emotions might have been confusing. I hope no one was OOC. Other than that, I _finally _got to explore the nature of the Beast. A lot of stories out there write him as an aggressive lusty creature that will readily kill and do anything to get Raven for himself. However, I never really see him that way in the TV series. The Beast always protects Raven, rather than taking advantage of her sexually, and the Beast (after the chemical incidence) only comes out for Raven. So I just wanted to set that straight for my story; he's more of a guardian here, than an animal. Don't worry, more fun with Raven's and the Beast's (and therefore Beast Boy's) relationship to come!

Let me know what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong! Leave me a review! Or I'll find Beast Boy and have him use the Face on you! :) If I terrified you with the Devil reference, leave me a review too and I'll consider changing it!


	7. Chapter 7: Respite Part II

A/N: Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! I'm glad to see you are all interested in this story! Unfortunately, here come the boring sections chock full of that character development you so love...*sigh* Do you remember how I said some parts were written out initially and some parts were forced out? Well, this isn't really the former. And I'm just _dying _to get to those other parts. Which is my lame excuse for why I haven't updated in three weeks….I'm really, really sorry about that…

At any rate, I feel like I've been neglecting Starfire and Cyborg so I threw both of them in this chapter. Please enjoy!

Also, as a newer fanfiction writer, should I address your reviews on this page or message you? I'm not really sure how to go about it...

Disclaimer: This repetition is getting tiresome. I don't own Teen Titans. I don't own Teen Titans. And...I don't own Teen Titans. There. Need I say it again?

Chapter 7: Respite Part II

The drill bit whirred and Raven shifted slightly from where she was sitting, her arms locked across her chest. A lot of things had changed around the Tower, but thankfully, the garage was not one of them. It still smelled of machine oil and grease, a smell which Raven associated with Cyborg and…hard work, for some reason. Maybe it was because every time she came down here she would work with her hands. And, strangely enough, she actually _enjoyed_ it. She had learned this from Cyborg and Cyborg alone. He never treated physical work like a chore; instead he reveled in it.

The garage still looked the same, too, cluttered to an outsider but uniquely organized to Cyborg's tastes. Against the far wall, a rack of screwdrivers, allen wrenches, measuring units, hammers, and other various tools hung. The T-car took up most of the space, but half-opened boxes and spare parts lay around, part of Cyborg's various experiments. The R-cycle was parked in the far corner, waxed and gleaming, and she could make out the sign which hung around the headlight: _Robin's R-cycle. Do not touch. _Scrawled in hurriedly beneath the type were the words: _That means you, Beast Boy._ She quickly jerked her eyes away from the sign.

"Wire stripper, Rae," Cyborg said from beneath the T-car. Only his legs showed. She levitated the object under the car. There was a sharp clipping sound, then: "Screwdriver." She levitated the next object over, hardly thinking.

Cyborg had _finally_ managed to drag her down here, despite her protests and half-hearted threats of bodily harm. She was still the only one he trusted with his baby, and always welcome to work on it-or her, she corrected herself. The last time she had slipped up and called the T-car an it, she had found herself cleaning the tire rims with a toothbrush.

Besides, she was the only one who could actually work with Cyborg. Robin wasn't a cars sort of guy. Starfire was fascinated with the inner workings of the vehicle, and all the "metal noodles" as she called it, but cars didn't interest her because she didn't need them; she could fly. Raven knew that Cyborg was especially thankful for this considering the damage she did to his kitchen on a daily basis; somedays it looked like a nuclear wasteland. There was no telling what she would do to his car. And saying no to Starfire was impossible for everyone but Raven. Beast Boy-something wrenched inside her at his name, but she pushed it away-everything Beast Boy touched malfunctioned or exploded into tiny pieces. He had managed to get his hands on the T-car once…she shuddered. Once was more than enough.

She hadn't wanted to work on the T-car at all; she had just wanted to be left alone. Which was how she had wound up seated on a box full of who-knows-what, watching her cybernetic friend at work. She expected him to broach the silence at some point, and the sooner the better. That meant that she could leave sooner. That meant that she could spend more time meditating sooner. Since she had been appointed guardian of the Titans by her emotions she would need more control and power than ever, and that meant more meditation. As much meditation as possible.

Cyborg worked slowly and deliberately, and her frustration grew. Would he just get it over with? Restlessly, she tapped her fingers against her forearm.

"You're pretty quiet today, Rae," came his low voice, half-muffled by the car.

"I'm always quiet," she replied.

"Yeah, I know, but c'mon, y'know what I mean." Abruptly changing topics, he asked, "You don't want to help me out with my baby, today?"

"I just don't feel up to it," she said sharply, looking at the adjacent wall.

"Mmmm," he grumbled, unsatsified. For a while there was nothing but the occasional clank of metal on metal. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples, glad to be free of his pestering.

"So what's going on with you and BB?"

Her eyes snapped open. "What?" she asked sharply.

"Please Rae-" he snorted, clearly amused. "We just walk in and find the two of you in the kitchen, right before Slade shows up-"

"So?"

"Together?"

"Yes."

"Alone?"

She huffed sharply. She did not appreciate where Cyborg was going with this. "Your point is…"

Something clattered and she heard a muffled curse. Then:

"Spill, Rae. You're not fooling me."

"Beast Boy and I have been fighting," she admitted stiffly, mostly to derail his train of thought. She didn't want him coming to some ridiculous conclusion.

"Mm-hmm…I guessed as much…it's not hard to see when you and the little guy are fighting."

She looked at him…well at his _legs_ blankly. "We're always fighting, Cyborg."

"But it's not the same. BB and I are always fighting too-I mean, c'mon, have you ever woken up to a peaceful breakfast? He's always trying to shove his tofu garbage down my throat." He took her silence as a concession and continued. "There are different kinds of fighting and I can tell when B's angry, y'know. I wouldn't be his best friend if I couldn't tell. I guess it was only a matter of time considering-" He cut himself off sharply, but it was too late. She had already caught the slip-up and the tinge of guilt awash over his mind.

"Considering what?" she asked, fixing her eyes on his lower half as if the mere force of her gaze could squeeze the answers out of him. He knew something she didn't and it would drive her insane if she didn't get answers. What was he referring to? Her tendency to try to kill Beast Boy at least once a day? She winced. Kill sounded too harsh. _Maim _was probably better.

"Cyborg," she said, her monotone now a warning.

"Ha ha, did I say something?" Cyborg chuckled nervously, clearly trying to deflect her attention. "I didn' mean anything…it was only a matter of time because you two are so-"

"That was a pathetic attempt to cover up," Raven deadpanned, clearly unassuaged. "I suggest you tell me what you meant."She waited, self-assured in her threat making. She wouldn't ever hurt him but the threats worked like a charm.

Beneath the car, Cyborg swallowed. Just because he wasn't ever on the receiving end of Rae's wrath, it didn't mean he couldn't get his share of it...starting now. He could tell her the truth-or spend the rest of today finding his body parts. Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh. But still-with Raven you could never know….

Meanwhile, Raven pondered his statement. _What is he trying to cover? He wouldn't have acted like that unless it was something…bad. _

"Alright so I kinda thought-" Cyborg started, sheepishly, hardly breathing, "maybe the two of you-" Her stomach turned to ice. _Does he suspect that I have something to do with Slade? Maybe he thinks it has to do with my dreams. He knows that one nightmare led to my lack of control...how much has he guessed?_

"Spit it out," she said, and he winced at the clanging as half the tools, rattled by dark energy, fell from their rack.

"Hey, I had those arranged specially!" he cried indignantly, pulling himself out from under the car….only to come face to face with Raven's glare. Bad move. He gulped audibly, and a drop of sweat ran down his face.

"A lot more things are about to get _re_arranged if you don't explain yourself." He cringed. Cyborg's eyes darted frantically around as he weighed his options. Neither was better than the other. He could be subject to painful torture or subject to painful torture. So he chose the lesser of two evils. At least he would _deserve _the punishments in store for his line of reasoning. "That was not a suggestion," Raven said, bringing him to the present. "Tell me. _Now_."

"So I guess…" he rubbed the back of his head, "I thought…you were a couple?"

Whatever she'd been expecting, it wasn't that.

Cyborg let loose a sigh of relief when she did not blast him to pieces but it was only because she was too stunned to react. Her mouth practically hung open. Relieved, Cyborg chuckled inwardly and snapped a picture of her face with his eye-cam. _That'll be a good one for the scrapbook._

"What?" There was a loud bang and the rest of the tools fell to the floor with a loud ringing. Oil gushed on Cyborg's head. Spluttering, he scrambled upwards and snatched a rag off one of the nearby boxes.

"A couple?" she repeated blankly, clearly unable to process the information. He checked his watch.

"Y'know," he said tentatively, looking at the growing oil puddle beneath the car sadly. "Like y'all were…dating?" He winced but this time there was no reaction.

"Dating?" she repeated like it was some alien word. The surprise twitching across her face quickly changed to anger, and she scowled. "Why would you ever think that-" He checked his watch again, ignoring her rant. 9.2 seconds. _Wow, this is going down in the record for Raven's longest moment of speechlessness. That'll be a first. _

"-and never even get along, mostly because of him! He doesn't listen, he doesn't respect my personal space, and he doesn't know when to stop!"

"Whoa, there. Don't get all offended on me," he said, wiping his face with a rag.

"Why shouldn't I?" she asked coldly, cocking an eyebrow. "That is a ridiculous theory, Cyborg. We don't even have anything in common, and that's the basis for-" she squirmed a little- "dating."

"You know what they say," he said slyly, wiggling his eyebrows. "Opposites attract."

She looked at him blankly, but her eye twitched. "No. _Don't _even go there."

"Okay," he shrugged. She narrowed her eyes at him. _Why the sudden disinterest? _"Whatever you say, Rae."

_ "_Don'tcall me that," she muttered, averting her eyes. The only other person who called her that was currently angry with her and likely to never talk to her again. Her heart twanged with guilt, with the rush of memories….all the things she had done, all the things she had said…

"Why not? You don't mind when B calls you that."

"That's not true Cyborg and you know it." She pinned him to the wall with her dark glare, but he hardly noticed. She stared at the now empty rack of tools, angry at the sudden emotion boiling in her, and relieved that his inquisition had stopped. Cyborg mopped at the puddle of oil on the floor with his rag, inspecting the damage to the T-car.

"Wait," he said, straightening sharply, something registering from Raven's rant. "Mostly?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she murmured uncomfortably, and drew her cloak around her.

"No, you said you never get along, _mostly _because of him. Did you do something?" No answer. "Raven, this is serious," he said softly, all traces of teasing gone. "What did you say?"

"Some things I shouldn't have," she admitted, curling her cloak tightly around her as if she could seal herself off from Cyborg's questions…and her own guilt. That pained look in Beast Boy's eyes…all her fault! Would she ever forget?

"What kinds of things?" Cyborg asked slowly, his robotic and human eye keen and searching.

"Nothing personal," she said, casting him a sideways glance. "Just…the wrong things." Cyborg let loose a sigh of relief but thankfully, Raven didn't notice.

"You know he'll forgive you eventually, Rae," he said gently, trying to reassure the dark empath.

"That's not very comforting," she replied stiffly after a long moment. She fixed her gaze more firmly to the wall.

"Eventually's better than never, and with Beast Boy, eventually's gonna be pretty soon," he said. He knew that there was one other thing they still had to talk about…cautiously, he pressed on. "Raven...when Robin comes around…you'll forgive him, right?"

"Eventually," she mimed him sarcastically, but the words held a hollow ring.

"Seriously, Raven," he said, studying her face.

"Yes, I will," she whispered. The words fell from her numb lips without emotion but a touch of sadness crossed her face before she mastered her expression. It wasn't entirely Robin's fault. She knew that the Devil was causing most of the trouble and instigating unwelcome feelings in Robin, and in her…probably, in everyone.

Cyborg hesitated, unsure of whether to pursue the topic or let it go. "Robin," he started, exasperated, "he just doesn' understand some things and he-"

"I don't want to talk about this," she cut him off, and stood, ending the conversation. She pulled her hood over her face, and looked at him with glinting expressionless eyes.

"Alright then," Cyborg sighed. He had to let her go. "See you later, Rae." Raven rarely admitted as much as she had today, and pushing her past her limits was a bad idea. The half-demon said nothing in response as she exited the garage on foot.

He eyed the dark smear of oil thoughtfully, but did not pick up a tool for a long while.

It was just bad luck that Raven had to run into Beast Boy right after that. He had just turned the corner, clearly heading for the garage, when he saw her, and turned right back around without a word. He was avoiding her. He had been avoiding her all day. If there were just the two of them, he would leave before she could say a word. When the others were around, he feigned normalcy, teasing her, but he always disappeared soon after. She saw his retreating back every time she attempted to apologize. This was the probably the most she had had to apologize to Beast Boy in a long time. Actually, she couldn't recall ever having to apologize to Beast Boy until recently.

She tried to convince herself that it was a good thing, that it would be better this way.

_Lies, _whispered an emotion from within her mind. She brushed it aside. Now she could focus on saving all of them even-her chest constricted painfully-even if Beast Boy didn't want to be friends with her anymore. She studied the rigid plane of his back, and the hard knots where his shoulder blades peaked before he disappeared back around the corner. Gone again.

_I break everything I touch,_ she thought, leaning against the wall for a moment. Which reminded her...before she withdrew to meditate she had something else left to fix...

"Starfire?"

Raven stood outside the alien girl's door awkwardly, rubbing her shoulder. Starfire couldn't ignore her forever. Her emotions, normally pulsating wildly, now hovered, stretched out and distended, like shapeless putty. There was no flicker of bright color, just the same gray sadness. And they told Raven that Starfire was in her room alright, though Raven had knocked twice, and she had yet to hear a reply. She was here to mend things as best as she could, even if it meant complete embarrassment on her part.

"Please be giving me the moment, friend," Starfire called through the door. The warbling note of sadness did not go unnoticed to Raven, and she sighed through her nose. Robin really did have a way of messing things up, even if it wasn't entirely his fault...just like her. She didn't even know how to start addressing _his_ issues..._One thing at a time, Raven. Starfire, first. Then you can worry about your fearless leader. _

"Starfire," she began hesitantly, cringing at the part of her that was dying at the words to come, "I was thinking..." This was like self-inflicted pain right now...and like Beast Boy, the extremes of Starfire's emotions affected her more than she liked. At least Beast Boy's emotions were more muted and squeezed together in a jumble of confusion that touched less upon her empathy. But Starfire...she was sure to have a headache at the end of this. "I was thinking..." _Stop beating around it, _she admonished herself. _This is necessary! _"...we could-" she flinched at the colloquialism "-hang out?"

The door whooshed open and her breath was knocked solidly out of her lungs as Starfire whipped her into a bone-crushing hug. Raven was sure her eyes were popping out of her skull and her ribs _definitely_ creaked.

"Starfire," she gasped, whacking the back of her friend's head lightly. The Tameranian princess set Raven down, holding her out at arm's length. Raven surreptitiously massaged her ribs. Starfire never seemed to notice her own supernatural strength. "Oh joyous wonders friend! I have been waiting for you to partake with me in the "girl talk" for a long while! We must do the nails, and then the hair and perhaps we shall depart for the mall of shopping-"

"No mall, Starfire," she interrupted the alien girl. "Not today."

Starfire's face grew still and Raven wondered for a moment if she should have agreed to the mall, just this once. She sensed Starfire's muted excitement but the layer of sorrow remained, buried deeper.

"Of course, friend," Starfire agreed, respectfully inclining her head. Raven breathed a sigh of relief. She despised the mall. They could never walk around like normal people because they were superheroes, they were famous! People always flocked around them. Starfire never seemed to mind but Raven didn't like the attention at all. She wanted to do her shopping in peace without being chased by a hundred stalkers demanding her autograph.

Starfire's smile grew slowly and she threw her arms in the air and whirled in a circle. "Oh but the fun we will have! I have never painted the nails of another girl before, and perhaps we can fix the do of hair-"

"Hairdo, Starfire," Raven corrected her but it was too late. Starfire was on a roll, and not Raven, not Robin, not even all the villains in Jump City could stop her.

A half an hour later found Raven's toe nails painted a pale shade of pink. She had refused Starfire the rights of painting her fingernails, mainly because she didn't want the others to see. Since her hands were off limits, Starfire had turned to her feet and Raven had to let her paint _some_ thing. Otherwise, the whole thing would be pointless. That didn't mean Raven had to be happy about it. She grumbled inwardly, and just listened to the steady stream of Starfire's words, letting them bounce off of her. She would have preferred some other color, _any_ other color, in fact, just as long as it wasn't pink. Of course, Starfire had gone through her stores of nail paint and they had found….pink, pink, and _more _pink, just about every shade of pink imaginable.

Which was the only reason Raven's toenails _were_ pink. At least, she could hide her feet. Her hands were another story entirely.

"Please, why do we not do this more often?" Starfire was saying, carefully applying polish across her hot pink fingernails.

"You know how I am," Raven admitted reluctantly. "This isn't really my thing." Starfire froze and Raven slapped herself mentally. _That was the wrong thing to say!_

"I did not mean to make you come," the alien said, rushing to apologize. She lifted her head to give Raven an apologetic look. "I had no intention of forcing you; perhaps we could have just done the talking, and not the nails-"

"It's fine, Starfire," Raven dismissed her quietly. "I don't really mind…that much." Starfire beamed and continued her work. Raven leaned her head back and waited for her friend to begin her relentless babble again about some strange Earth custom or to ask her to clarify an Earth saying, but their conversation sank into disconcerting silence. Raven cast several sideways glances at the alien girl, whose face was furrowed in concentration. As she watched, Starfire's mouth tightened into a thin line.

To her dismay, Raven felt Starfire sinking back into that gray fog of misery. This wasn't like her at all! She was taking this whole situation with Robin to heart. And Robin wasn't entirely to blame this time. Raven quickly rushed to distract her. "How about…my hair, Starfire?" She winced but it was an easy fix; she could always shower right after. She expected Starfire to brighten and run for the blow drier, but she just continued to gloss over her nails. "Didn't you buy some new hair clips?" she asked in another desperate and pathetic bid to grab the Tameranian's attention. Starfire shrugged absentmindedly, and capped the bottle of nail polish. She held her hands out before her to air her nails but did not say a word. Raven shifted restlessly as she felt Starfire fall back into her sadness.

"I appreciate what you are doing, friend Raven," Starfire whispered suddenly. Raven blinked. Well, what did she expect? This whole visit was transparent. At least she was trying. "I know that you came here today with the intention of shining my spirits, and I am very thankful for that. But I cannot forget…" She trailed off, her shoulders hunched defeatedly.

"Starfire," Raven started, trying to find the words to explain, "this is just a phase Robin's going through." She hesitated and frowned. Her words echoed Cyborg's argument. "He'll come around-"

Starfire jerked upwards, head thrown back, and eyes ablaze. "I do not wish to see him perform the snapping out of again!" she cried, anger and betrayal bursting through her. A wave of frustration went through her, preceding her words. "He has had many chances, yet he still behaves like a child in the terrible two's, like a baby who does not learn his lessons, like a…."

Raven prepared herself for the explosion.

"-like a…." Raven stilled her own mind with a deep breaths. Emotional induction was always a danger with her empathy, but even more dangerous when emotions were so freely felt and displayed in their extremes. And a _lot_ of emotion was about to be displayed.

Chest heaving, Starfire's chest expanded as she sucked in air for her outburst.

"KLORBAG VARBLERNELK!" she yelled, then she clapped her hands over her mouth with an audible _eep_! Raven rode the tidal wave of anger calmly and stared at her alien friend stoically.

"Better?" she asked. Starfire nodded mutely, eyes wide in mortification. After a moment she let her hands fall. "I am...most sorry. I was doing the loudness. It is just...I worry about Robin, friend Raven. I do not understand why Slade angers him so. On my planet," she continued softly, "such anger towards our rivals is uncommon. But Slade…Slade shovels into Robin's skin…yes?" She cocked her head, asking for confirmation. Raven didn't have the heart to correct the Tamaranian. "Please, I know you can sense some of our emotions. I felt this when we took each other's bodies-"

"Yes, I can, but I don't just read your thoughts," Raven cut in in her raspy monotone. Starfire shifted a little guiltily. "It would be an unnecessary invasion of privacy, and both uncomfortable and boorish." The alien girl cast her eyes on the floor. "But….I think I can guess some of Robin's thought process," she admitted, and Starfire focused her gaze on her, clearly drinking in every word. "I-because of our link, we're closer than we were before." She hesitated, teetering on the edge of her decision. This was more private information…but Starfire had a right to know, to understand. "Slade and Robin have too much in common, and this is what disturbs Robin. Slade first planted the idea but now it's taken hold. Robin has reached the point where he is blind to their differences and only sees his faults as his path to becoming like Slade."

Starfire tilted her head. "I cannot say that I understand Robin's foolishness, Raven."

"No one does," Raven reassured the Tamaranian princess. "But we can at least understand where it stems from."

She twitched reflexively as the first wave of anger and annoyance rippled over her. "Friend Raven?" Starfire laid a hand on her wrist, her eyes scanning her face. "What is wrong?"

"Something-" she winced, as a stronger wave lashed against her, filled with a tinge of crimson fury. _That's Robin, no doubt. _"Someone's fighting," she replied, standing laboriously. A heavy weight sagged her shoulders, the weight of the world it seemed. _Why can't things stay peaceful for just ten minutes?_

"Robin?" Starfire asked. Raven didn't have to answer. Starfire's face darkened. Another disturbance touched her lightly, a stroke of irritation filled the air. Raven moved to the door without thought, searching for the source of the emotions. Starfire's door opened with a whir and she stepped through, moving quickly. Down the hallway. Right, no left. Here. There.

"-I had Beast Boy looked at, that's all."

"Do you even know how to use that equipment?" Cyborg demanded.

Raven caught the sound of raised voices from just around the corner. _Medbay entrance, _she thought. Had someone been injured? Her pace quickened. She was hardly aware of Starfire's presence until the alien girl almost ran into her when she stopped suddenly. They exchanged a look. Starfire tiptoed forward and poked her head out around the corner. Raven did the same.

Cyborg stood there, arms crossed, clearly fuming. Robin's posture was ramrod straight, without a slouch, and the iciness in his clipped tones made his half-concealed anger clear. Strangely enough, Beast Boy stood off to the side, abashed, the tips of his ears drooping as low as his collar.

"I figured it out."

"You figured it out? Why do you even need me around here if you're just gonna do my job, Robin?"

"Your job?" Robin asked with a touch of ridicule. "We don't have specific jobs, Cyborg."

"Please, man, don't act stupid. Beast Boy's reconaissance. Raven's booksmarts and wisdom. You go all detective mode. Starfire's the brawn. What does that leave me? Tech. That's what I'm good at. So let your ol' buddy Cy take care of the tech stuff for you-"

"I don't see any point in calling you up here to do something I can do myself," Robin growled icily.

"You don't? 'Cause I do. You have no-"

"Guys, I feel fine, really…" Beast Boy interjected miserably, but nobody heard him. He hunched his shoulders, scuffing his shoe along the floor.

"-clue what you're doing messing with my equipment, and what means what…you could have hurt BB, or yourself, or taken the wrong measurements entirely-"

"I think it's pretty straightforward."

"You think? You _think? _Well, you think, Robin, and _I _know. I built all these machines myself, some from my own spare parts!" Cyborg held his arms out to emphasize his point, the circuits glowing bright blue. "You take chances with your 'I thinks'. I know ex_ac_tly what I'm doin'." He calmed a little and continue softly. "So just give me the chance to make myself useful, man. That's all I'm sayin'."

"That's all irrelevant." Robin sighed lengthily then continued harshly, "I did what I needed to do, everything checks out fine."

"That's not the point, Robin," Cyborg retorted, clearly frustrated.

"I didn't think there was a point."

"Well, don't get your spiky head all in a twist. If you don't need me aroun', then I won't stick aroun'."

_Time to intervene, Raven. _She couldn't afford to have Cyborg gone, with Robin half-crazed, Starfire in a depression, Beast Boy just recovering from a Beast outbreak, and herself….her powers were unreliable. Cyborg was the only one untouched by the Devil's madness, and now he was going to leave? And how was she supposed to keep him safe if he went off on his own? She would be spread out too thin.

Raven stepped around the corner, intending to walk right between them, and beat some sense into them.

"Stop this, you two," she snapped coldly, letting her voice whiplash through the air. Neither of them paid her any mind. Cyborg glared at Robin who looked back passively. A muscle twitched in Cyborg's jaw. Robin's eyes narrowed behind the mask.

"Fine," Cyborg broke the silence first. "I'm goin'." He didn't move, almost as if he was waiting for something. _What are you doing, Cyborg? _Raven thought miserably. She almost wanted to bury her face in her hands. Her eyes moved back and forth between the two of them, and then to Beast Boy. Maybe he would defuse the tension. But he refused to look up and kept his eyes fixed firmly to the floor.

"Cyborg…" A note of pleading crept into her voice.

"Forget it, Rae. This has gone on too long."

"If you want to leave I'm not keeping you here," Robin said sharply. Cyborg's chest puffed up.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!" Cyborg stormed off, and an instant later Raven heard a door slam. How had this even happened? One instant Cyborg had been telling her to forget Robin, he'd come around, just ride out the storm, and here he was breaking his own rules. This was completely unlike Cyborg, like a drastic switch in tactics. _I won't let it happen like this. _Ignoring Robin's cold gaze, and the flutterings of Starfire's guilt, she melted through the floors, down to the only place where Cyborg would go, the only place Cyborg could go.

She leaned against the far wall, eyes half-lidded, and let her words lash out.

"_Where_ are you going?" Cyborg jumped within the T-car's driver seat and spluttered out a series of profane words.

"Make sure Starfire doesn't here any of that," she remarked drily before he was done. "You know how she is with new words."

"Rae, don't do that to me," he said, glaring at her, one palm over his chest. "My heart-"

"I think you're the least likely person to have a heart attack, Cyborg," she cut in, her tone full of disbelief. He grumbled under his breath, still massaging his chest.

"You didn't answer my question," Raven pressed him. He eyed her for a moment contemplatively, then rolled his shoulders and gripped the steering wheel.

"Titans East, Rae," he said quickly, his face forward, gaze straight. "I just need some time to cool my heels. And birdbrain needs some time to cool his head," he grumbled as an afterthought.

"What was that you said?" she asked, her voice still monotone. She tapped her chin like she was struggling to recall. Yet her lips had curved slightly and a touch of amusement lay behind her words. "He'll come around eventually…you're starting to sound like a hypocrite, Cyborg."

He sighed gustily but grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I am. And I know it's just Robin bein' Robin but still Rae-" he adjusted his grip on the steering wheel and then let his hands fall defeatedly. "That little gel haired wonder manages to get to me sometimes. He really shuts everyone out, y'know and I'm not up for dealin'. It's like….I've got this itch in my shoulders-I just have to get outta here."

"So you're abandoning the team?" Cyborg frowned. He didn't like the way she phrased that. He would do anything to keep the team going and everything would be alright with just the four of them. He just needed a couple of days to himself, a mini vacation. It felt somewhat selfish but at the same time every time he and Robin didn't get along, it was monumental. They didn't just spar, they fought destructively. As in friendship-busting destructively. As in _team-_busting destructively.

"No, I'm holding the team together," he replied. She blinked, unimpressed. "We both need our space. And his Highness doesn't need me right now so-"

"Cyborg," she interrupted him, then trailed off, suddenly uncertain. She could feel how he felt, a uselessness to his presence. Like the Team didn't need him and that wasn't true. She didn't even know how she was going to convey this and she always planned out her words carefully. She knew what was coming, what needed to be done. "We need you here, Cyborg." This wasn't what she did, this sentimentality, this display of appreciation…it was something which Starfire and Beas-something which Starfire was good at, not her. She rubbed one arm, and averted her eyes, the starts of a blush creeping across her cheeks. Awkwardly, she continued. "You're a vital part of the team which no one can replace-"

"Rae," he said softly. "It's all good." She met his gaze and let her words stand. They had sounded emotionless as usual but Cyborg knew her better than that. For her, every action spoke in magnitudes and he recognized that. "I'm not really angry. I know that Robin didn' mean it…"

Raven hesitated, and opened her mouth to argue, then closed it. She wanted to keep them all together. It would make them easier to protect, and would maintain the strength of the team, but in a way…Cyborg was right. He needed to cool off and Robin needed time to wake up. She remembered how the team had been fractured the last time Cyborg and Robin had fought, and in her eyes, it had been over less serious matters.

She stepped to the side as the garage door creaked open, revealing the yawning mouth of the underwater tunnel. Cyborg started the T-car. "I'll see you in a few days," he called to her over the engine's smooth purr. Then he drove forward and the tunnel swallowed him up.

"Be safe," Raven murmured, praying, hoping for the best. She sighed. If only hope actually got her somewhere….

Raven felt like she was swimming through a thick fog, like her sluggish conscious was frozen over. She struggled to form a coherent thought. She could vaguely feel her body, but lacked the strength to move it. It was much too restful here, and every bone ached with infinite weariness. But _where _was here? And how had she come to _be _here?

They were irrelevant questions, ones which she let slip from her grip and back into the smeary nothingness of her subconscious. Her eyelids fluttered, and she breathed in sharply, then coughed at the unexpected smell…of ashes. Ashes…. Ashes….Ashes?

She struggled to lift her lids more frantically, pushing against her fatigue, against her body's cry for sleep. Her eyelids began to move, fluttering like a hummingbird's wings, the light blinding her in intervals. She gasped and slammed her eyes shut, squeezing them tightly. A strange imprint was burnt against her lids, vague ghostly shadows dancing in the darkness.

_Try again._

Raven took a deep breath, her lungs expanding, and creaked open her eyes a slit. The light was less dazzling and as her eyes adjusted, she gradually opened them further and further. A gray sky floated overhead, thick with streaks of curled clouds. She focused her gaze on it, searching for something familiar, some motivation to continue moving.

Where _was_ she? Black snowflakes drizzled down aimlessly, drifting in the air. Every breath felt strangely stifling, and lacked any welcome cool breeze. _What's the last thing I remember? _she asked herself, scouring her memories. Robin. A fight with Robin? No, that wasn't it.

_Cyborg. _

She latched onto his name, and images flashed before her eyes. Then what? Then what? How had she gone from there to here? It made no sense. She had no recollection of coming to this place…wherever here was. _Stand up. Sit up. Move, Raven! _she ordered herself.

Groaning raspily, she sat up, her aching muscles screaming in protest. A wave of dizziness took her, and she buried her face in her knees until the world stopped rocking. Her mind seized on random details, her eyes focused on the ground beneath her. Black grittiness, like sand, but finer, somehow softer, and somehow rougher. She tried to take a breath but coughs racked her, and smoke and fire filled her nostrils.

Her heart began drumming at a faster pulse, and her breathing sped up. _Stand up. _A sense of dread filled her at that familiar smell. She didn't want to stand up. She didn't want to look. So much fire, so much ash…it never forebode good things. How had this happened? What had happened? A rising panic grew in her and she squelched it hurriedly. She didn't even know what this was. Everything was probably fine…

_Lies._

She stood suddenly, the rush of blood from her head forcing another spell of dizziness upon her. But that was not why she staggered.

It was because of what she was looking at.

Home.

Or what was left of it.

She stared aghast at the smoldering ruins of Titan's tower, and beyond that, across the skyline, the wasted skeletons of Jump City's buildings, plumes of smoke streaking across the night sky. The sea, normally rippling with waves and shushing against the shore, lay still and motionless, like black glass she could not see her reflection in. Death. Destruction. She trembled involuntarily, and her shaking knees gave out.

"No." The word ripped free of her without her permission, hoarse and pain-filled. Her eyes could not stop taking in every detail, her mind storing the images with disturbing clarity. She wanted to close her eyes and shut it all out but she couldn't. _This couldn't have happened! I defeated him, I sent him away. He has no influence on me anymore. _But this was the only explanation. She had brought the apocalypse back to Earth. It was all her fault.

_Trigon._

His deep voice rumbled like the thunderous voice of the mountain. It was a voice from memories, and from nightmares.

"My daughter…." He let the mocking title drift in the air. "My child. You could not fight the Prophecy. What was to come, was to come and what will be, will be." Her emotions peaked steeply, driving in her with a million feelings, but one common goal.

"And it is," he finished triumphantly, her head ringing with every syllable.

She whirled around, cape snapping, rage pouring through her every vein. A distant part of her watched in despair as anger clouded her every thought, and she grew, dark energy crackling around her, grew into a tower of shadow. Lost to her rage, all she could hear was his thunderous laughter, mocking her, taunting her across the empty waste-

_"Hello, Raven," he greeted her sweetly. She opened her eyes, looking around her at the nondescript white. A flicker of fear ran through her like lightning, a sense of foreshadowing, a burst of anger. _He tricked me! None of it was real, none of it…._Sweet relief filled her, and she pushed way the memories of the unreality. Trigon had not returned. Earth was not destroyed. She was still in control of herself. She mastered the turmoil of emotions, the guilt, and pain. _

_ It had been so long since she had seen him, she had began to think, dared to hope that maybe….well, whatever it was, it wasn't true. He was still here, still ready, still at work. And she was still here, too, whatever good that would do. _Not much, _she thought grimly, keeping her mind closed._

_ If he expected her to let her features register these feelings he was sorely disappointed. Raven kept her expression controlled and polite, almost feigning indifference, all concealing the raging emotions within. She had no choice in conversing with him. He would talk to her if he wanted or else he would hurt her or cause more trouble. So she would play his little game-for now. _

_ "So long, no see?" he asked teasingly, resting an ankle on his knee. He was sitting in midair again like there was an invisible chair beneath him. His usual suit had been replaced by bermuda shorts, flip flops, and a button down shirt patterned with hibiscus flowers, like an average man on vacation._

_ "The longer the better," she remarked indifferently. She didn't look at him for long and her gaze held no trace of rebellion. His grin widened by measures as they stared at each other, until he bared his pointed incisors._

_ "But I had to come, of course," he replied, his dark eyes glittering. "I missed our little conversations. Such an interesting perspective, such an interesting point of view! It's quite refreshing."_

_ She remained silent._

_ "Come now, Raven," he tsked, clucking his tongue. "Surely you can do better than _that. _Isn't there something you wanted to talk about, something you wanted to ask me?" No answer. "How about Robin? Surely you can appreciate a good piece of work when you see it? Still won't talk? You know Raven, a conversation is not a conversation if I'm the only one blathering away here."_

_ "You didn't need to do that," she said in clipped tones. _

_ "What?" he asked innocently._

_ "Trick me."_

_ "Well, it got your attention, didn't it? I just wanted to send my last greetings and…change it up a little before the _real _games begin."_

_ "That's it?" she asked warily. He stood and paused, blinking in confusion._

_ " Of course that's it. I just hope I got my point across nicely. After all you are a part of this game, too, Raven, and it wouldn't be much fun without you. How was the break, anyways?"_

_ She took a clear breath, and ignored his question. _

_ "Fine, fine, I can see your a little angry," he remarked, flapping his hand at her. "Would it have killed you to answer?" Still no respond. He was never getting a rise out of her again, and she didn't intend to let him mess with her head again either. Things were dangerous enough without worrying about her powers collapsing._

_ "Well, I hope you enjoyed your little vacation, Raven," he said, almost sincerely. A dark shadow morphed his face into something inhuman and flames danced in his gaze as he snarled out, " Because the respite is over."_

A/N: Really good chapters to come, potentially by this weekend! Please review or PM me with any questions!


	8. Chapter 8: The Deep Breath

A/N: Well, I'm sorry to say I was unable to hold through with last chapter's promise. But here it is anyways. A little boring, not one of my favorite chapters (that's coming up pretty soon, though). I look forward to your reviews, as always.

Now, Robin _has _been acting like a jerk but I'd like to remind my readers that it's not because he's OOC (hopefully not). The Devil is maintaining some force over him which causes him to act out of character, and be more aggressive and obsessive than he could ever be.

Kudos to anyone who knows what movie this chapter title is from.

Disclaimer: If I could speak eight languages I would be saying the same thing: I don't own Teen Titans.

Chapter 8: The Deep Breath Before the Plunge

Raven wandered the hallway aimlessly.

She was completely alone. It was fairly early still, and the only other person guaranteed to be up was Robin, but she didn't sense the darkness of his emotions. Cyborg had come in some time late last night, after a few days at Titans' East, and would probably sleep until lunchtime. Starfire was willing to get up early, but her alarm was set for eight so she had several hours yet. And Beast Boy….her gut wrenched. Beast Boy normally didn't come out until noon, and he wouldn't want to anyways while she was out here. He didn't even want to talk to her-

Her emotions briefly touched her powers, and she turned her thoughts elsewhere as the bathroom door rattled slightly.

That was the other problem. Her powers had slipped back into that fine edge, where the slightest feeling drove some reaction. She needed to meditate. It was most peaceful now, when the others' emotions were muted by sleep and for once all the flashing colors and driving impulses were gone from her. But she couldn't calm herself enough.

She felt strangely restless. She had always been able to find her center, even under the most strenuous of circumstances yet she couldn't do that now. It was like a maddening drive was in her, fluttering at her, reminding her….She needed to do _something_, but she didn't know what it was that she was supposed to _do! _That and nightmare upon nightmare, night after night, had made her exhausted. _He _hadn't come again since three nights ago, but Trigon and hellish images had filled her dreams, startling her to wakefulness before she managed to rouse herself.

So she paced up and down the halls with light footsteps, unable to quell that irritating stirring enough to calm her mind and her powers.

She turned the corner and saw Beast Boy.

She slowed down, hoping that he hadn't yet heard her footfalls, then glided forward with her powers. _Why is he up at this time? Why didn't I sense him? _His deep pain had screamed out his presence for the last few days, but now, there was a nothingness. So deeply immersed in his work as he was, his emotions were fleeting…almost like his normal self. She lit down softly, her cloak barely fluttering. He didn't notice her approach but moved quickly back and forth setting up several contraptions, darting about like a green hummingbird from flower to flower.

She didn't speak, content to watch him silently. Then he looked up casually and she froze like a deer caught in the headlights, trying to read his expressions and emotions, but he just greeted her casually. "Hey, Rae!" _He knew I was here the whole time, _she realized. _So why didn't he leave? _

He had spent the better part of yesterday avoiding her, and now he was acting completely normal. Well, normal for _him, _anyways. She waited for it to click, for the realization to hit him, but it didn't. Humming quietly to himself, he continued to set up his elaborate prank, clearly comfortable with her. His emotions, sparse and gentle as they were, told the same story. The ragged slashes and pain which had filled him had vanished, replaced by the smooth fluidity which belonged only to Beast Boy's emotions. Leaning in, she studied him suspiciously. How long would it be before he remembered that he was mad at her, and started hiding from her again?

She eyed the prank setup warily. Beast Boy and Robin already had a bad enough relationship. If Robin walked through Beast Boy's prank, or worse yet, Robin was Beast Boy's target, the whole Tower could explode. She didn't want to start an argument but at the same time, if Beast Boy's actions and foolishness were going to make things worse, she had to convince him otherwise at all costs. And someone had to start talking, and Beast Boy seemed content with silence, for once in his life.

"Is this...such a good idea right now?" she asked, softening the sharp edges of her voice a degree.

"No...but when have I ever listened to timing?" Beast Boy asked, peering up at her with his emerald eyes. He fingered a string, listening to the twang, and nodded satisfactorily. He felt Raven shift her feet, and heard a lilt of hesitance and uncertainty in her voice. He paused and looked up at her. Raven was _never _uncertain; she _always _knew what to do, even when her anger was getting the best of her, even when the apocalypse was coming. Granted, it wasn't always the _right _thing to do, at least not in Beast Boy's eyes, but she always _knew. _But the telltale uncertainty and anxiety, mingled with a hint of fear, told him otherwise.

"What about Robin?"

"Robin, shmobin!" Beast Boy said, flapping one hand at her while tweaking something with the other. His comment did not relieve her strange anxiety so he added, "C'mon, Rae, _somebody's _gotta have fun!"

"So you're going to prank everybody?" she asked, just a hint of her sardonic nature returning.

"Nah," Beast Boy dismissed her fears with a snort. "This is just for Cyborg." That was good then. Beast Boy knew better than to prank her and that Robin was off limits.

"What about Starfire?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. Beast Boy's eyebrows shot up into his hair.

"No way!" he burst out. "Last time I pranked her it wasn't even my fault and she was mad at me for _ever._"

"Well, I'm glad to see you have _some _sense in you," she commented but it fell on deaf ears. Beast Boy had leaned over to mess with his contraption, adjusting various odds and ends. She considered him openly now that he wasn't looking back. His tongue protruded from the corner of his mouth, like a preschool child working on arts and crafts. From the side, she could see a pale haze about his skin, which she realized was peach fuzz, throwing out a silvery green light. His mussed hair, a deeper green than that of his skin, stuck up in all directions. Clearly, grooming was not a priority for him. Her eyes returned to his face. That openness, that innocence had returned, smoothing out his features. How could someone be so open, honest, and caring….and yet so annoying, childish, and immature? She swallowed, shifting nervously. "Beast Boy..."

"There!" Straightening, he examined his handiwork proudly, and dusted imaginary dust off his hands. "Voila!" He kissed his fingers like an Italian chef. "Mwa, bonissimo!" He grinned at her cheekily, eyes sparkling with a long-lost enjoyment. "What do you think about that?"

She waited for him to shrink away from her, or for his eyes to harden or yield some falsehood, but they were true to his nature, and they looked at her expectantly, waiting for...her approval? Well, she never approved of any of this, so what? Her condemnation? That was forthcoming. What? Why did he look at her in such a way when all she did was put him down and hurt him? Guiltily, she tore her eyes away.

"You realize you're dead right?" she commented blandly, hiding the shaking of her emotions, her eyes blindly considering his prank. "You'll be lucky to get away with your life."

"Yeah, well this is payback!" he cried indignantly, his voice becoming more shrill with his justification. "For that Barney snapshot and-"

"Barney snapshot?" Raven asked, slightly amused, her lips curling ever so slightly.

He paled visibly right down to the tips of his ears. "Barney? Who said anything about him-" he tugged at his collar with a finger, visibly sweating, and then, eyes darting about as if casting for a new topic, said lamely "-what were we talking about?"

She let his evasion stand and turned her attention to his trap. "So what's all this?" He shrugged nonchalantly, strangely silent when he was supposed to be bragging about his genius and the unique design and so on and so forth.

Lazily, her eyes scrolled over the various stages and setups for his elaborate prank, weighing each one, determining their function…a jar of molasses, trip wires ("what? They're a prankster's best friend"), and pillows...lots of pillows. Then she did a double take and looked them over again, and her eyes widened slightly as she realized what he was doing, what he was about to do-

She looked at him, mildly impressed, to find him weighing her reaction. "Pretty sweet, huh?" he asked, his eyes glittering mischievously.

"Not _my _choice of words."

"C'mon, Rae, do you even know what this _means _for Cyborg?"

"Oh no?" she guessed, wincing a little. Boy, Cyborg was in for it. Even by her standards.

He gave her an impish smile, fang jutting out, and her stomach dropped out of her in a giddy rush. "Rae, I believe you mean oh _yes."_

TTT

She sat in her usual spot, flipping through a book, trying to force herself into the calm she required for meditation. It hadn't worked yet. Robin perched on one of the high stools at the kitchen counter. He had yet to address her, but the thunderclouds about his head had grown darker. Starfire contrasted sharply with him, strangely bright and perky. The Tameranian was almost always happy but considering Robin's mood, Raven would have expected different.

It was still peaceful, with the exception of the occasional emotional flicker. But she had yet to meditate. And if it was peaceful, it wouldn't be peaceful for long. At least, not with Beast Boy around.

Almost as if on cue, there was a loud twang, followed by Cyborg's faint exclamation: "What the-" The words turned to a hoarse yell.

_ There goes Beast Boy's prank._

A surprised grunt, then a series of thunderous thuds and crashes, slamming noises, poofs like the sound a couple hundred pound bags of floor would make if thrown around, another loud yell…. and then silence. Silence for a long, long time, so long that Raven was beginning to wonder if Beast Boy's prank had somehow gone wrong or if he had managed to set it off on himself (that would be a first, but this _was _Beast Boy they were talking about) or-.

A chicken squawk rang out.

"_Iwasneverhere_!" the changeling blurted out hurriedly before shooting past the couch, and crouching by her feet. She started to speak but he just lifted a finger to his lips in a shushing motion. She sighed.

Thunderous footfalls shook the kitchen. Robin looked up from his paper, and it crinkled into folds as his grip tightened. Starfire looked up curiously, mustard still dripping in small quantities from the nozzle of her bottle.

"Git back here, you little grass stain!" Cyborg hollered at the top of his lungs, shaking a fist.

She turned to admire Beast Boy's handiwork. Cyborg's face deepened from reddish-brown to maroon. Well, the part of his skin which she could see, anyway. He was coated in a thick sticky liquid, which splattered the floor about him with a whirlwind of black droplets. But the best part were the white feathers which covered every inch of him, from his head to the tips of his steel shod feet. At every step, there was an indignant squawk like he had stepped on a chicken. Tarred and feathered, Beast Boy style.

Robin looked a mixture of angry and bewildered, a look which did not suit him, or anybody well, his mouth practically hanging open. Starfire hid a smile behind a raised hand. The corners of Raven's mouth twitched. "You got somethin' you wanna say, Raven?" Cyborg huffed angrily, turning on her.

"Nothing, _Foghorn Leghorn._"

"Hey, good one, Rae!" Beast Boy praised her from her feet. Raven sighed as Cyborg turned towards the sound of his voice, a manic glint in his eye. "Oops!" Beast Boy gulped, backing up as Cyborg towered over him, made somewhat ridiculous due to the chicken feathers glued on him, but the anger was real enough.

"Hey, Cy, how's it going?" Beast Boy asked weakly, still backing up. His eyes darted everywhere, searching for escape. "Maybe we can talk this over? Just a few words?" Cyborg kept on advancing until Beast Boy's back was pressed against the window pane. "Can't I at least write my epitaph?" Cyborg extended his arms, blocking all routes of escape. "Don't I get last rites?" Cyborg bared his teeth in a tortured grimace. "You can't say anything?" Beast Boy grinned weakly, but his eyes flickered with mischief. How about '_smile'_?"

Caught off guard, Cyborg's deadly procession halted, and Raven could practically see the gears in his head turning as he tried to comprehend Beast Boy's statement. "Huh?"

There was a click and a bright flash of light as the camera in the changeling's hands went off. The flash was the only reason he managed to slip away from the metallic man's grip, as Cyborg reached out wildly, arms flailing from side to side. The changeling's wild laughter streamed after him as he fled the scene.

"I'm gonna kill him," Cyborg fumed, rubbing the flash from his eyes. She wrinkled her nose at the pungent smell of syrup and sugar as he stomped past her.

"Tell him I'm not on cleaning duty," Raven called over her shoulder in her dry monotone. There was a brief silence then:

"Please, who is the horn of fog and legs?" Starfire asked from the kitchen counter top, blinking in confusion.

TTT

Raven had thought that Cyborg's frenzied search would keep the changeling in hiding for a few hours, but she only had a few minutes. Robin had left some time ago, snapping his paper shut, and stalking free of the living room. Starfire had disappeared too, presumably to talk to Robin again. It was foolishness, but Raven wished the Tameranian the best of luck. And that left her and Beast Boy again. "Aren't you hiding from Cyborg?" she asked without looking up. She heard the couch springs squeak as he sat next to her.

"Nope. He's too busy cleaning up."

"You do realize that molasses isn't glue."

"Yeah, but I think I've got a little while. He's gonna want to track down a few copies of a certain photo," he smirked. He came closer to her, peering over her shoulder. "Soooo…..whatcha reading?" She was hardly reading the book at the present, instead trying to read his emotions. It didn't seem right that he would just revert to his usual self after days of silence, and hesitant banter. Before, there had been pathetic transparency to his teasing, awkward pauses and gaps where there should have been nonsensical comebacks, or goofy faces. And as soon as the others had left, he had left too. But it seemed that he had deliberately sought her out. Why this change? Had he…forgiven her?

"So whatcha reading?" he repeated with a slight emphasis when she did not reply right away.

"A book," Raven said. She tried to ignore his presence, but his hovering was beginning to irritate her. She returned to her reading, hoping that he would just withdraw to a comfortable distance. Instead, he pushed his face forwards, so that his head was blocking her page, squinting at the lines. "Sed false, oops, I mean falsa ad ca-eeloom, mi-" he struggled for a moment, "-toont insomnia, hey, I know that one! Manes." He squinted at the lines again as if they would suddenly change into something he could understand and then cranked his head around to look at her. A strange buzzing filled her ears. "What language _is _this, Rae-Rae? It isn't English, right?" He blinked up at her with sparkling eyes. "Cause I no speake de lingo if you know what I mean-" he rambled on. His head was almost on her lap. An unexpected spike of….anger, or maybe just vexation shot through her and she pushed his forehead away from her with a hand, towards the end of the couch. He windmilled his arms, trying to regain his balance but gravity took over.

"Waaaaah! Oof!" There was a loud thud as he fell over backwards. She looked at him stoically, fighting that inexplicable, yet unexplainable feeling. Was it because he had been close to her? "What was that for?" He eyed her, grumbling, and rubbing his behind. "You know I haven't got much padding back there, Rae-Rae."

She gave him a deadpan stare and returned to her book.

_ Serves him right. If he hasn't learned to keep to himself after all these years-_Her thought process came to a screeching halt. _Wait, Rae-Rae?_

Her head snapped back up, and Beast Boy smiled sheepishly at the burning fire in her eyes. "Beast Boy, what did I say about that?"

"What?" he asked coyly. "Do you mean-" he leaned forward like they were sharing a secret and wriggled his eyebrows suggestively-"Rae-Rae?"

Then next instant he was hoisted into the air by his uniform, her powers holding him upside down.

She blinked in surprise when he didn't start going into hysterics. "I guess I'll have to call you Ravey-Wavey," he mused, strangely calm, considering his current position.

"Beast Boy, if you don't cut that out this instant, I will give you the wedgie of your nightmares," she stated flatly.

_Then _he went into hysterics. "Ahhhhh!" he screamed, but the only thing she sensed form his mind was amusement. The rush of blood to his head turned his skin an odd brownish color. "Okay, I'm very, very sorry, I'll never ever, _ever_ call you that ever again!" She didn't respond, so he placed his hands together in a pleading fashion and stuck out his bottom lip. "_Please,_ put me down? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top? Extra cherry?" Still no response. He thought for a moment then changed tactics. "I mean I _know_ I'm a manly green hunk," he said mischievously, "but Raven, control yourself-" She flushed as she understood his implication. _Thud! _

"Ow! Didn't we just go over this?" the changeling whined, again on the floor. He looked at her and noted the disappearing red in her cheeks. "I need my booty intact, Rae-Rae!"

"It's not _my _fault you twisted around in midair," she replied in her monotone.

"Well, I need my head intact too," he argued.

"Because there's _definitely _something valuable in it."

"Yeah there is-hey!" he cried, realizing her insinuation. "Stop it with the sneak insults!"

"I meant to make it as obvious as possible," she shot back. Beast Boy frowned but his eyes were sparkling with good humor.

"Whatever you say, Rae-Rae," he responded impishly.

"It's not Rae-Rae, it's Rae," she growled, flustered. Then her cheeks burned as she realized what she had just said. _Please don't let him have heard, please don't let him have-_

"I get to call you Rae-ae, I get to call you Rae-ae!" the green changeling cried triumphantly in a singsong voice, dancing wildly around the couch.

"Beast Boy, stop this instant," she hissed threateningly. He didn't seem to hear her. He _never _seemed to hear her when it was convenient for him.

"I get to call you Rae-ae, I get to call you-ulp!" A pillow, surrounded by dark energy, flew into the Beast Boy's face, knocking him flat. He sat up slowly, and spat out a few feathers. "Hey! What was that for?"

"I was just putting you in your place," Raven remarked sarcastically.

"C'mon, Rae, I know you love me," Another pillow followed the first. Raven focused on dispelling the blush from her face, trying to banish all the voices asking her why she even had a blush in the first place. Then she froze, suddenly apprehensive. Robin's mind, dark and lit with flashes of red lightning, joined the bright colors Beast Boy's mind. To her empathic sight, the other Beast Boy's pulsing emotions grew suddenly dim and muted, shrouded by a gray mist. Robin loomed overhead like an angry thundercloud. She casually threw a glance over her shoulder. The Boy Wonder's brow was furrowed and the wrinkle between his brows deepened as he surveyed the situation: Raven blushing, Beast Boy with a pillow across his face. Mostly, Raven blushing. Everyone knew Beast Boy was Raven's personal pinata, but Raven blushing? That was an odd occurrence, to say the least.

"What's going on here?" he demanded, voice icy as the winter wind. Yet for the first time in days, Raven sensed a sliver of curiosity shining through the clouds that shrouded the Boy Wonder's mind. Just a sliver, but it was something other than anger.

"Nothing," Beast Boy replied, spitting a few more feathers onto his lap. Beast Boy's forest-green eyes hardened slightly and shifted from Raven's to Robin's and then back again, like he was watching a tennis match. A touch of wariness filled his actions, as he rose slowly from the floor, as if afraid of startling Robin into anger.

"Raven, can we talk?" Robin asked coldly. The atmosphere changed even more sharply, like they had been doused in ice water. Beast Boy's narrowed eyes fixed on Robin, about to burn a hole in his forehead, yet the Boy Wonder did not seem to notice.

Raven already knew the answer but she asked the question anyways. "Now?" Impatience frothed briefly in Robin's mind, then anger brimmed to the top, peaking at breaking level before he managed to check it. She was aware of the sudden silence in the room, as if the world was holding its breath.

"_Now."_ Beast Boy flung himself down on the couch dejectedly, his arms crossed. She sighed, then stood languidly, taking care to mark her page. She could practically hear Robin's teeth clicking as he waited impatiently, unsatisfied with her haste. Beast Boy sunk lower into the cushions, lips pressed into a pout, his eyebrows scrunched together.

Robin led her part way down the darkness of the hallway, before Raven stopped and looked at him expectantly.

"What do you want, Robin?" she asked stiffly, folding her arms.

"I need to know what you know about Slade," Robin replied, but his tone made it clear that it was a demand, not a question. Raven studied him briefly: his skin drained by the light of the computer, a certain hollow drawn appearance to his face. There were sure to be deep bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes, invisible because of the mask.

"How many hours have you slept?" she asked him coldly.

"Doesn't matter," he brushed her aside curtly. "Tell me what you know about Slade."

"I can't help you, Robin," she replied. The response was expected; a bolt of lightning flickered in his mind, anger swelling up. He kept it tightly reined, but it seeped into his voice and his posture. The edges of his mask tightened, and his stance grew more rigid.

"Because you can't or because you won't?" he asked between clenched teeth.

"Neither," she replied honestly, holding his gaze. "I don't have the information you want." His reply hurt but was yet again expected.

"I don't believe you."

"What else is new?" Robin's mouth tightened, but she stared back passively. "You don't believe me, you don't trust me. Not making for much of a team, are we?" The sarcasm came easily, but it was her only verbal defense. Robin would have never gone to such extremes. She wondered if there was any way to free him from the Devil's influence.

"Because you're hiding information from me, Raven!" he burst out in a whispered roar, his face suddenly inches from hers. "You have no right to withhold it! I _need_ those answers! I know you think that somehow this is all going to go to my head but Slade-"

"Too late, it already has." The thunderclouds grew darker, black as pitch, portending the rainfall, and the thunder. Lots of thunder. He withdrew from her sharply, his cloak snapping around as he faced the adjacent wall. His emotions trembled briefly before he mastered them again.

"Raven." His words were growing more and more brisk, more and more clipped as the conversation went on, a clear indication of his anger. Raven wondered if this was what Batman was like. "Tell me, now."

"Don't give orders, Robin," Raven said tersely, growing more and more annoyed with him. She glared back at him sternly. "You're my leader, not my general. And I'm not a soldier."

"Tell me now, _please," _he seethed, turning around to face her. She looked at him blankly as if she had no idea what he was talking about, which was true. Slade's return had been a surprise for all of them. She hadn't been sure of the misfortunes that would follow, or that the dream even carried real meaning.

"I know exactly what this whole game is," he hissed, jabbing an accusing finger at her. His mind erupted into spouts of flame as his anger became apparent. Raven smacked his hand away, her face growing blanker, but her own emotions spiked briefly. She checked herself as she realized that he was influencing her with the feedback of his emotions. She locked eyes with him, trying to convey her meaning, and she released a long breath. _Stay calm._ "Keep your hands to yourself." At her soft warning, a blush of shame welled through Robin. The stormclouds lightened briefly, then anger was justified again and the light disappeared. "You've all agreed to act stupid about Slade just to throw me off the search."

"Because you have a _slight _tendency to obsess over him," she stated sardonically. "I've been in your mind, Robin and I know what it's like. You even lose your grip on reality when it comes to him. If that's not extreme paranoia and obsessiveness, I don't know what is."

"Raven this is _Slade, _not some backstreet criminal like Control Freak," he lectured her cooly, suddenly withdrawn. "Everything he does has a purpose, _everything. _If he chose to come back now, just to rob a bank, and knock a few _empty _buildings over, there's something else going on."

"I don't disagree," she said acidly. "But at what cost, Robin?" Now _he _looked at her blankly, but his emotions flickered briefly. "I thought you didn't want to be like your mentor," she continued harshly. "Isn't that why you left Gotham in the first place?" She meant to hit him harder, to strike him at the core. He was being abrasive and cruel. The real Robin would have apologized by now. He flinched visibly, his expression hardening and his emotions sprang up in a raging turmoil at the comment. He kept them restrained in a desperate chokehold. With Robin, control was everything.

"Stop changing the subject."

"Fine, Robin," she said sharply, her eyes flashing dangerously. _Enough is enough_. "Do you want to hear what I know about Slade?"

He leaned forward expectantly, mask taut across his eyes. "Everything."

"…."

"Well?" he demanded impatiently. "Go on! You're not saying anything!"

"That's my point exactly," she said with a touch of exasperation. "I know _nothing. _My dream was a coincidence. I can't tell you anything more than that, Robin, because I don't _know_ anything." He stared at her furiously, jaw working, a fraction of disbelief warring with his anger. "_I can't help you," _she emphasized and let it seep over through their link so he could feel her honesty. He jerked himself away from her suddenly, his mind closing like the shutters had been pulled across the windows. She could still sense his emotions but the information flowing through their link was dim and muted.

They stared at each other, clearly at an impasse.

The alarm went off. Robin gave her a long look then moved towards the main room. She followed him to the doorway, standing next to the kitchen and watched him and the team lean over the main screen, and pull up the location of the crime. Beast Boy looked over at her strangely, something burning in his gaze. She wrenched her eyes from him and listened at a distance, her gaze fixed on the floor.

"Slade again," the Boy Wonder confirmed with a quick jerk of his head. His eyes flickered from Beast Boy to Raven, and the lines of his face hardened as he came to some decision. "Beast Boy, you and Raven stay here. Titans go!"

They were gone before Raven could even open her mouth to argue.

She pressed her lips together, cursing Robin's foolishness, and Beast Boy flopped onto the couch. This was risky. The team was used to running with all five members. Maybe they could make do if just one of them was out of action, but two of them? And what with Slade's return, they needed all of them able and working more than ever.

"This is stupid," Beast Boy voiced her own thoughts. She moved towards the couch, and stood at the back of it, staring down at his slouching frame. He was clearly pouting. "There's nothing wrong with me, I went through all the tests." He scowled and looked out the window, sliding lower in his seat, if that was even possible. The cushions swallowed his whole rear and threatened to do the same to his lower back. "I don't see why you have to babysit me."

"It's just a precaution, Beast Boy," she said, but her words sounded empty.

"But I feel completely normal!" She studied him, reading the writhing colors of his emotions. There was plenty of anger but none of it seemed to be directed towards her. Had he still not remembered about their fight or was he a better actor than she gave him credit for?

"You admitted to me that the Beast was coming through," she said slowly, the statement more of a question.

"Yes, no, I don't know!" He gripped his head in anguish. "It's there and then it's gone….I don't feel aggressive, I don't want to eat meat, I'm just-" His fingers gripped the front of uniform and pulled downwards, stretching the fabric "-me! Besides, you fixed me, right, Rae?" He twisted his head around and looked at her hopefully.

"That's a temporary fix, Beast Boy," she admitted reluctantly, and the smile slid off his face quickly. "You have to come to terms with the Beast yourself." His eyes darkened slightly and she expected him to lash out or ask her why he had to but he just got off the couch and moved towards the TV.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Playing video games," he responded calmly as he powered up the new gamestation. He held out a controller to her, a flicker of hope kindled in his eyes. "Do you wanna play some games with me?"

The first word which sprang to her lips was the usual one. But she hesitated for a moment, struggling with herself. She didn't want to fry her brains on his ridiculous so-called games…but at the same time, things were about to get worse….maybe the best that she could do was try to make him and the Team happy before-

_No! _she banished that thought quickly, and the chairs in the kitchen rattled on their legs. Her fingers massaged her temples seeking some resemblance of her control while Beast Boy looked at her questioningly. _What's going on with Raven? _he wondered.

"No," she replied softly, and turned away from him so she didn't have to see the light fade from his eyes. Beast Boy picked up the controller and stared at it, tracking the faint sounds of her footsteps. Then, unbeknownst to her, he set it down and followed her out.

TTT

The silver light splintered off the ebony rocks, and jutting formations in a black glittering. The moon formed a trail of eye-piercing light, like a smear of white across the ebony water, as still as glass. The waves rippled against the beach and rocks with a soothing shushing sound, a pulsing rhythm which she associated with sleep. She perched upon a smooth outcropping of rock, her legs folded beneath her, her face lifted to the moon.

He plopped down besides her casually. "It's pretty nice out, huh?" he asked, staring up at the cloudless sky.

"What are you doing, Beast Boy?" she asked sharply, almost accusingly. His ears twitched, but he didn't shrink from her, and his gaze never left her face.

"I just want to spend time with you, Rae," he said sincerely, the light glittering off his dark eyes. A bubble of warmth filled her at the statement, spreading out from her core. She turned away from him, looking at the yellow lights of Jump City, mimicking the stars above.

"Why?" she asked softly, so softly the lightest breeze carried away her drifting word. Yet somehow Beast Boy heard her. He always did.

Confusion filled him. "What do you mean, why?" She could feel his eyes on her, scanning her face for answers, but she didn't look at him. "I mean, if I'm bugging you, 'cause you wanted to meditate or something, I could leave-" he offered awkwardly, shifting slightly beside her. The fabric of his uniform rustled raspily against the stone. She shook her head stiffly. He didn't say another word, but admired the constellations above them, yet again…content with the silence. And she wasn't?

She didn't want to address this, but at the same time it _needed _to be addressed. But did she really want to disturb this peace between them, just for an understanding? Maybe he had forgotten it. Maybe he had buried it so deeply that the worst thing she could was bring it all back again. She considered his face again, remembered the sheer joy in his eyes, the humor. Pure delight showed in his features and on the surface of his mind as he gazed upon the sky. _Maybe, _she thought tentatively, daring against fate to hope, _maybe_ _he's actually forgiven me_?

"I thought you were mad at me," she said softly on impulse, the words rushing free without her permission. She froze, reading his reaction, but nothing happened. Just a brief twitch in emotion, and then back to the normal Beast Boy, free of rage and pain and grief.

"I tried," he sighed. "I couldn't stay mad for very long." Abruptly he changed the subject, his voice dropping to a dark whisper. "I heard what he said to you." There was no questioning who this he was.

"You know that eavesdropping's really starting to become a bad habit," she murmured, but there was not a tinge of anger there.

"We all have our weaknesses," he admitted in a shrug-like manner. For all his words, she would have thought him an adult but for the way he was kicking his legs. She drank in the sight of him, his eyes fixed on the shining constellations above.

"You and Robin don't get along anymore, do you," she suggested softly. He shrugged but a knot of tension coiled itself tightly through his mind.

"We get along fine," he said curtly. His emotions writhed in denial of his words.

She knew she was pushing it, but this could be one of the many things which would drive the Team to ruin. "It started with the Beast, didn't it," she continued as gently as she could.

"Yeah, it did." He rubbed his palms together, and looked out over the plane of water, otherwise motionless. She could barely see his features; he was like a statue perched upon the rocks. She didn't expect for him to continue speaking but he surprised her. "I used to look up to Robin...a lot." There was a wistful quality to his voice which she had never heard before. "He doesn't really have superpowers like I do, but he was Batman's sidekick and he always managed to do everything _right _and so _well _when I never could." His tone grew bitter. "Either I didn't change shape fast enough, or didn't run quickly enough, or lost sight of what was important, or a hundred other things. I could never be good enough for Mento...or myself. I just wanted to be like Robin." He turned his face towards her as if expecting a comment or question but she just listened.

He let a deep breath whoosh out of his lungs. "When I joined you guys, when we became a team, I was finally good enough. And Robin was a good leader. He pushed all of us to be better, not just me, and we were friends, I guess." He paused for a long instant. "But then..." His hands balled into fists and a spark of crimson appeared in his emotions, tinging them with red.

"The Beast," she finished carefully. For a moment it seemed to her that he was growing, rearing up higher and higher, but he suddenly became limp.

"Yeah," he agreed miserably, fiddling with a few pebbles besides him. "I-he-" he hesitated "-He acted like...like I was some kind of criminal, not his teammate, and _not _his friend. He told me he was going to throw me in jail-" his voice rose in his anger-"when he didn't even know what happen, when _I _didn't even know what happened!" He buried his face in his hands briefly, rubbing at his eye sockets. "I just don't get why Robin blows it out of proportion," he mumbled, his voice muffled by his hands. "There. I've said it. I don't know what you want me to _do _about it, but I've said it." He peeked at her from between his fingers, but her stoic expression revealed nothing of her thoughts.

"Proportion," she said finally, tasting the word. "Big vocabulary. I'm impressed."

He blinked at her in surprise, but a slow grin extended across his face, the clouds of misery lightening. "Hey, there isn't just all dust and empty space in here," he said, rapping on the side of his head with his knuckles.

"Are you sure?" she asked blandly, raising a brow. She reached behind him and swatted the back of his head. "Last time I checked it sounded pretty hollow."

"So that's why you do it." Now he grinned from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling playfully, and the sorrow disappeared in a puff of smoke. It wasn't gone forever, and he would still carry it with him, but his humor was back. She rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth tilting up ever so slightly.

He paused, trying to reorder his thoughts. "I mean, I get that we have our own issues, our own demons," she flinched slightly at the word, and he rushed to apologize, "I didn't mean like you I just-!"

"It's fine," she cut him off gently. She hadn't jumped because of the link with her heritage but because of the way things were turning out. Demons and devils all pushing her friends into shadow. The moon suddenly seemed cold and aloof, and the twinkling of the stars was hard and cheerless. She pulled her cloak around her to fight off the invading chill.

"Well, um, what I mean-" he hastened to get his thought process back on track, his eyes flickering to hers. The instant he had mentioned demons the air had become thick with Raven's fear scent. "-I don't know why it's always Slade that drives him over the edge. No one else does."

"I know what you're saying Beast Boy," she inserted herself. "I doubt that Robin even fears the Joker as much. It's because Slade _is_ Robin, Beast Boy, a twisted dark alternate version, but Robin nonetheless." Beast Boy blinked, absorbing the information. She let her gaze wander across the horizon, her thoughts elsewhere.

"I don't think so."

She turned her head suddenly, surprised by his contention. Usually he just accepted her comments as truth, but here he was challenging her.

"It isn't written out in fate or prophecy." He smiled at her sweetly like they shared a secret, the moonlight glancing off his fang. "We kind of proved that already with you, Rae. It's choices. And I don't think Robin would have ever made the same choices Slade has."

"Choices don't make up the person, Beast Boy. Attributes and circumstances do."

He shrugged. "My... dad-" she looked at him, startled at the mention of his family-"used to say that actions spoke the most about a person's character. I think our choices _are _who we are. Like...I'm annoying and crazy and extremely hilarious-" she snorted in disbelief "-but I'm not a bad guy. But there are some annoying and crazy people who _are, _like..." He cast about for a villain. "-Control Freak!"

"Nice comparison."

"So it's not who you are, it's what you _choose, _or maybe your choices are a part of who you are..." He held his head dramatically. "So confusing!" He let his hands fall back into his lap. "You get what I'm saying, right, Rae?"

"No."

"C'mon, I painted it as clear as day!...I think."

"Beast Boy, you just spent your explanation arguing with yourself," she insulted him acerbically.

"Well, I meant, I don't see Robin making those choices, even if he was in Slade's shoes. They're both controlling and go kinda loopy about each other, but they're not the _same _people."

"I didn't mean it like that in the first place," she said with a note of annoyance at his persistence.

"Well, that's what it sounded like you meant!" Beast Boy exclaimed. A quiver of light flashed through her mind, and a sudden wave of water smashed against the rock in front of them, dousing Beast Boy in its salty spray. He spluttered, his hair soaked, the droplets glittering like diamonds, and spat out a fish. "What was _that _for?"

"I didn't mean to do that," she replied, unnerved and hesitant. Beast Boy squinted at her gray features. With her monotone he had a hard time telling if she was being serious or not but every now and then he could catch a glimpse of her feelings in her eyes...

Actually, she _was _being serious, and her lack of control was beginning to disturb her. The real trouble hadn't even begun, yet her powers were lashing out left and right at, in her eyes, faint emotional responses. What would happen if one little comment drove her into rage? She would be the biggest threat to the Titans.

Her eyes flicked back to Beast Boy. Whereas the others knew where to stop, he didn't. He always pushed the limit. With some, it was merely an irritation. With her, it was life-threatening. "I'm going to ask," she begun hesitantly, "that you not do that anymore."

"What?"

"Irritate me," she replied, but the words sounded strangely unjustified. "You know what I am, right? You know how my powers work. Meditation isn't just for fun."

"Yeah," he agreed slowly in a confused sort of way. He scratched his head, clearly not following her train of thought. "What does that have to do with me not bugging you?"

She turned her head restlessly, and focused her gaze on something besides him. "Because..." Her voice was softer than down, so soft he could barely catch it over the gentle lull of the waves, "because..."

"I could kill you, Beast Boy." She looked at him piercingly, demanding something from him. An understanding, he realized. She wanted him to form some sort of reluctant agreement. Well, he wasn't about to do anything of the sort!

"Pfft!" he scoffed in his typical manner, trying to return their conversation to that lighthearted banter. "We're all dangerous, Rae. Star can crush my skull with her pinky, and Cy has about twenty weapons built into him, not including his sonic cannons-"

"_Beast Boy." _He was unprepared for the harshness in her voice and he twitched slightly, throwing up his hands reflexively. Her tone merited no argument, and the planes of her face had become something sharper, changed by some unidentifiable emotion. "This is serious. Don't joke around about this." She tried to lock eyes with him, and he lowered his arms. "I could kill you."

"Raven," he began seriously, his smile vanishing, "I-"

"The others may be dangerous but only intentionally," she burst out hurriedly, the apathetic words charged with energy. "You'll never see them make mistakes which will harm everyone around them-"

"Raven, that is _so _not true-" he argued firmly, but she cut him off again.

"-nor will a moment of anger drive them to horrible things…but with me, Beast Boy, one accident and you could be as good as dead." Her eyes burned fiercely into his, but he looked back stubbornly, stiff and unmoving. "_One_ slip up is all it takes. I won't get second chances because whether I like it or not," her voice quavered briefly, and Beast Boy's nostrils twitched at the fear flowing from her, "there is a part of me that is evil. That will not hesitate to commit horrible atrocities. And there is _nothing _I can do about it." She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "So, please, don't exacerbate the problem."

"Hasn't this always been a problem with you?" he asked, perplexed.

"Yes," she admitted reluctantly as his eyes tugged the answer from her.

"So why are you telling me about it now?" She angled her face away from him, shifting her body almost imperceptibly, but he caught a glance of the shock in her eyes. He took advantage of her momentary speechlessness and continued. "I mean I'm pretty sure I've been pushing your buttons from day one, Rae and sure, you've told me to leave you alone, or shut up, or stop this, and you've even thrown me out the window a few times, but you've never taken it to such a serious level." He let that sink in. "So why now?" She wrestled with indecision, some turmoil raging in her dark eyes. " Because things are worse, aren't they," he offered softly.

"No!" She hadn't meant for the denial to come out with such force but it did, and dark energy rippled along the length of the ocean, sending swells rolling along the placid surface. She breathed in once, soothing her rushing heart and continued calmly. "It doesn't matter why. I just want you to know."

The silence rang in her ears shrilly as he contemplated that.

"But you won't." She snapped her head back towards him furiously. She should have known it wouldn't be so easy penetrate his thickheadedness and overcome his stubborn mentality! She opened her mouth to argue with him, or beat some sense in him, but the serious look in his eyes gave her pause. "I know you've come close, but I don't think you'll ever hurt me. Even when you were fighting with that part of you in your head, I think you only hissed at me. I mean, seriously." He looked down at his gloved fingers, imagining the tips of protruding claws there, instead. "I could do worse, Rae."

"There is no worse, Beast Boy, than-"

"Raven." She fell silent. "You'll go back to doing your meditation thingy, and I'll get thrown into the ocean a few more times, but it'll be okay. You're not going to hurt us. I don't think you can, I don't think even the bad part of you can. It's not you, and you would never touch us." She blinked, the light shining off her disbelieving eyes. "I have faith in you."

A strange feeling was expanding in her chest again, strangely familliar. He always said the wrong things at the worst times but with her he did the opposite.

"Rae," he whispered softly. She turned to him and her breath caught in her throat. She had never seen him look at her like that before, never...there was a tenderness in the shining of his eyes, which she had never seen before...or maybe it had always been there and she hadn't noticed it until then. The same emotion she had had trouble identifying swelled in him, and he smiled at her sweetly. Words hung in the void between them, and something was going to happen, something was about to happen, it felt like the air was charged with electricity and she couldn't do a thing to stop it-

A dull ache started at her center and she stood suddenly, her dark eyes scanning the horizon.

"Something's wrong." She had hardly said the words when a red-hot lance of pain struck her through the chest, like she had been impaled by a lightning bolt. She gasped and doubled over, clutching her heart until it subsided, leaving a strange throbbing. Her blood roared in her ears, a terrible anguish filling her mind.

_What have I done? _

"Raven?" Beast Boy grasped her arm gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she murmured shakily. She was perfectly fine but someone wasn't. She had felt that pain through her bond with Robin. Something had happened. Something bad. She shakily rose, and looked at the distant shore, trying to pinpoint his exact location. Her eyes found the spot across city where she could feel his presence radiating outwards to connect to her through their link.

She never should have left them alone! They all should have gone with them. Her hands curled into fists against her thighs. Beast Boy looked out across the sea then back at her, trying to decipher her emotions. "We need to go," Raven began and then her communicator rang. She snatched it up, flipped it open, and came face to face with Cyborg's weary eyes and suddenly aged face. Her heart drummed faster in anticipation and fear. She had known something was going to happen, she had felt it. This was all her fault!

"Raven." His voice was tense with grief. "It's Robin." She could only hear him and the roar of blood pounding against her eardrums. She gripped the communicator tightly, unaware of a series of muffled popping noises as her powers split the rocks around her in half. It all came down to this moment. Had she failed them completely?

"He's been shot."

A/N: Now it starts picking up again! My most sincere thanks for sticking with me through these rough awkward spots. Please tell me what parts I could fix, even if you think it's just some small detail. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner, but no guarantees.

Also, I welcome questions or arguments or demands for explanations. I don't think the dialogue was as clear as it should have been this time around. I will _not _post spoilers though, so please do not ask anything about future chapters!

As far as something for you to review on: How did you think the Raven/Beast Boy teasing moments were? How was the prank?

Till next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9: Blood and Sweat

A/N: Ok, so considering all the promises I made about fast updates, I actually managed to follow through for once! On another note entirely, I just realized how LONG my chapters are. I'm going to try to shorten them a bit to about 4000 words which is more normal chapter length. And I know this chapter is only about 3000 words, but it needed to be shorter. I haven't really gotten many reviews since the last chapter, so I don't know what to say here….

I looked back and just realized how unrealistic my chapters seem to be. Maybe it's just me but Raven and Beast Boy's interactions, what with Raven supposed to be worried out of her mind, seem….unlikely to say the least. Again maybe that's just me….

A warning to all my readers….this scene is a little graphic.

Did anybody figure out what movie the Chapter 8 title was from? Digital cookies if you get it! :)

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it.

Chapter 9: Blood and Sweat

The communicator slipped from her loose fingers where it cracked loudly across the jutting rock like a gunshot.

_All my fault, all my fault, _her mind screamed at her. If she had been with them, she would have been able to protect them. She had let Robin, who she _knew _the Devil was influencing, order her around, without regard to his own safety. _Go to him._

"They shouldn't have gone alone!" Beast Boy cursed, looking towards the shore. She was aware of a shrill whining sound around her as the wind picked up. Waves lapped hungrily at the rocks, kicked up by the sudden wind, foaming with an icy spray which speckled her hair and cape. She pinpointed Robin's location, focusing on his ebbing presence, and trying not to dwell on what that meant. _There. _

Her mind was racing faster than light. Beast Boy looked at her with wide frightened eyes, suddenly fearful. She didn't know what he saw in her gaze, some madness, or some of the inner frenzy and turmoil she normally kept invisible.

"Raven?"

A whirlwind of energy snapped around them, errantly flickering about them in electricity. She became a dark streak zooming through the air, her mind fixed on Robin's location. She felt Beast Boy's presence at her side, the colors of his mind oozing fear, but that didn't matter. She had to make it there fast enough to heal Robin, and to fix her mistake. She knew she was losing her grasp on her powers; bubbling anger, sadness, fear mixed together in a melting pot of emotion that fueled her. But she didn't dare to contain it; now was not the time, and she wasn't sure she could anyways.

They landed suddenly on the asphalt of a narrow road. Not thirty feet away, Cyborg's circuitry glowed dimly in the gloom, throwing a circle of pale light around two dark forms, one of which lay on the ground. The lights on the light posts along the road burst one by one as she sped by them, sharp glass cutting into her upraised hands and scalp. She left Beast Boy gasping and shivering on the asphalt, almost retching. She didn't have time to regret the suddenness of her travel because time was everything and right now he wasn't her priority. He would recover. Robin on the other hand-

A fire hydrant a block down exploded, spouting a geyser of water. She turned her dead eyes from the sight and to the forms huddled on the ground. Her cloak snapped around her sharply, as she hurtled forward, jerking to a halt. Cyborg stood, his sonic cannon at ready, studying the alleyways around them. Then he saw her.

"I didn' know if the creeps were still around," he said, his robotic eye scanning the darkness for a heat signature or flicker of movement. "I didn' want to risk moving him till you got here." His voice was far from emotionless, more like controlled, but that was good. She was bound to have panicky alien on her hands; she needed some sanity to cling to.

"I need light, Cyborg," she stated robotically, crouching down next to Starfire's shadowy form. The alleyway was empty but for the dull presences of a few rats and birds. No threat remained. An instant later a circle of bright light washed down on them as Cyborg stood overhead, a mini spotlight perched on his shoulder. Starfire's face had hardened like stone, thrown in sharp relief by gray shadows from the light. She sometimes forgot that for all the girl's innocence and naivety she was a warrior at heart. Raven finally dared to look down. The scent of blood was the strongest indicator of Robin's injury, and she suddenly wanted to run far, far away from that smell, and never smell it again.

Starfire held Robin's cloak against his chest, already slippery with blood. "I have managed to stem the blood, Raven," she said stiffly.

"Remove the cloak," she ordered. Starfire stumbled backwards slightly, barely catching herself on her hands, and the cloak slid off.

A clean dark hole, that was it, appearing strangely harmless where it not for the blood oozing free of it. His heart, the only thing keeping him alive, treacherously drove all his life's blood out of him, killing him with every beat. He turned his head slightly, a gurgling breath in his throat.

"Starfire," Robin groaned, eyelids flickering, and the girl bit her lip, hands bloody. She was shaking and Raven knew that warrior or no this was not the place for her. It simply was too personal.

Wasn't it too personal for them all?

Her powers enclosed all of them and then they were back home in the medley. She carefully set Robin's limp form upon a gurney.

"He's lucky it's just beneath the heart," Cyborg said, analyzing the situation, his scanners going madly. He pressed a wad of cloth to Robin's chest gingerly. "I think there's an exit wound, just missed the ribs by an inch though. Lost a lot of blood-we'll need some blood donations to make up for. Got a sucking chest wound too, I could patch it up, but it's best that he gets treatment-can you transport us over to the hospital, Rae?"

Cyborg was analyzing everything, calculating it all out as if he would survive. And she needed to do that too. She could no longer look at Robin as if he her friend, but as if this hole in his chest was a problem which needed fixing, a problem which only she could fix. She glanced at Robin's face, and knew he was already going into shock. With his injury, their link lay bare again, and Raven could feel the life draining out of him, almost like the life was simultaneously pouring out of her too and leaving a gaping void. It was horrifying.

"There's no need for that. Put him under," she ordered him briskly. The hospital could not help him. Not anymore. Robin was strong, but he was dying. She conquered back the choking fear and pain which swelled to a sickening level. _No time for this._

Cyborg looked up, startled. "Raven, you can't heal anything of this magnitude. You couldn' even heal his broken arm after Johnny Rancid-"

"Put him under," she repeated, lifting her hands forward. At a quick slash of her powers, more precise than a knife, the front of Robin's uniform split, better revealing the black wound. She hovered her hands over the wound. It would be better if he were unconscious so he didn't have to experience the pain and wouldn't be thrashing around on the bed. He'd be more likely to cause himself harm that way.

"Raven, I'm not gonna let you try to do this." She could feel his gaze boring into her head, but his words sounded brittle and slow, like he was speaking underwater. She ran through it in her mind. What would she need to do? Remove the bullet first. Check for any residual metal or shrapnel pieces. Then heal the wound. It sounded so simple. So possible. _It _is _possible! _"You can't deny the truth, Rae. Robin needs serious medical attention an'-"

Her head snapped up and furious eyes, lit with black fire, and locked with his.

"Cyborg, so help me," she spoke through a clenched jaw, her voice tightly controlled. "Put. Him. Under. _Now." _A heartbeat, another moment passed, another drop of life dripping away. An understanding passed between them and Cyborg slipped a needle into Robin's vein and applied the anesthetic. Beast Boy looked at her, jaw clenched, and Starfire uttered a muffled sobbing sound.

"Take Starfire out," she commanded him. He nodded curtly, nose wrinkled, and tried to pull the alien away.

"C'mon, Star," Raven heard Beast Boy beg pleadingly as she turned back to her charge, dredging as much emotion and energy as she could. She was going to need it.

"_Raven." _She could not ignore the demand in the statement and, compelled, turned her head sharply. Her eyes fastened with Starfire's, purple on bright green. Beast Boy tugged harder on Starfire's arm. It was like trying to pull on a rock with Starfire's feet glued to the floor. BB huffed once, exasperated. Starfire didn't say a word but her eyes burned into Raven's, seeking some consolation. There wasn't time for this, though. There wasn't time for anything.

"He'll be fine, Starfire," she reassured the alien, and although her voice remained clipped, her eyes softened a fraction. "Beast Boy, take her out." The changeling became a vast silverback gorilla, and threw the unmoving alien over one shoulder. That distraction gone, Raven again focused on Robin's chest, the shrill beeping of the heart monitor a dire reminder of the situation. This was going to take a lot of strength but luckily she had plenty of emotion to fuel it. If she didn't do something she would rip the Tower apart and healing was as good an outlet as any.

Raven carefully removed the bullet with her powers without doing any harm to him. It came out just as it had come in, an inconspicuous piece of reddish bronze, starkly contrasting with Robin's pale skin. She let it fall into Cyborg's waiting palm, the metals clinking musically. Taking a deep breath, she pushed away the feeble voice which claimed that her healing didn't and could never extend this far, and placed her hands on his chest. Like with the mind, physical contact enhanced her powers, but she couldn't repress a shudder of revulsion at the blood beneath her fingertips. _Just do this._

Her powers sang to be freed and she let them surge out of her through her hands, a blue healing light trickling free of her fingertips, barely enough to staunch the blood. She gritted her teeth, pulling more, calling on more, more emotion, more power. Their football games at the park. Pizza at the local pizzeria. The light grew brighter, extending outwards in a fragile circle. Robin's hope in her at the end of all things. Her heartbreak at Malchior's hands.

The light grew brighter and brighter, throwing black shadows in an eerie dance along the wall. Starfire's gentle compassion and deep friendship. Cyborg's support. Beast Boy's care despite her harshness. The shadows writhed as if twisting in pain, then disappeared as the light swelled. It grew blindingly bright, sucking every last drop from within her. He needed to be healed at whatever cost, even if this left her a husk of her former self. She was shaking, the bed was shaking, the instruments and gurneys rattling loudly, the floor trembling like an earthquake.

Suddenly, like the plug pulled from a power outlet, it was all gone. She withdrew her hands and stared in amazement at the flawless skin covering what had once been a dark hole.

"My God," Cyborg sighed, looking down at Robin's form with pure amazement in his eyes. It sounded less like a curse and more like a prayer. "Whoa, there," he said in low soothing tones, supporting her when her knees gave out. She leaned on him, closing her eyes in relief. She needed his support, if just for a moment, as a thousand emotions exploded within her. _He was so close, so close. _She took a quavery breath and counted to ten, then opened her eyes. He was healed but that sickening odor of blood still filled the air, almost making her retch._ That's all you get, Raven. Move._

"He should be fine now," she spoke in a hollow voice, stepping out of his arms. "You should send Starfire in before she starts ripping the doors off their hinges." The horrible scent of blood remained, swirling around her and clogging her senses in a gray fog. Though she looked down at the crimson on her hands, the only feeling that registered was an absence of feeling, but for the crashing of her own heartbeat in her ears. _Robin's blood._ She moved for the door, trying to maintain an even pace.

"Rae, are you alright?" One dark human eye, the other robotic probed her, probably taking her pulse, her temperature, analyzing the tones of her voice.

She paused at the doorway. Her head turned slightly and dry mouthed, she whispered, "No." Well, she hadn't lied, Cyborg thought to himself shakily as he proceeded to clean the blood off of his leader's chest.

Raven moved as quickly as she dared, her limbs obeying her jerkily. _ Robin stirred his head, his last breath gurgling in his throat. Don't think that. He's safe. He's healing. The pool of blood stretched out beneath his motionless body, darker than night. _ _No, no. _She banished the memories but the salty tang of blood filled her nostrils, inescapable. Robin's blood on her. And it was all her fault. So close to death, so close to falling, because she had failed.

Her breath grew more ragged and she broke into a run at the last five feet and locked the bathroom door shut behind her. Then she collapsed on her elbows before the sink, head down, and her frantic fingers twisted at the spigot, leaving rusty smears on the steel. With a rushing sound, water gushed from the nozzle, and steam rose in a thick vaporous cloud. _Oh Azar, he almost _died _because of _me! She inhaled deeply to clear her sinuses of blood. Humans couldn't smell it but demons could. Another gift from her father.

_I can't do this. _Her calm was shattered into a thousand shreds, and she heard the toilet paper tear itself into scraps, and the shower curtains began to ripple before she checked her surging powers. She scrubbed frantically at her palms, stained by Robin's blood. The repercussions of his death would have been terrible. They all would have blamed themselves, she most of all. Starfire would have been a destroyed shell of her once joyful self. The team would have ceased to exist, all because of her lack of sight. Azar, she was stupid!

She caught sight of her reflection, and a ghost looked back, haunted eyes glowering in a pale face. She continued to wash her hands desperately, until the blood was gone, gone, gone. The scalding water burnt her skin pink, but she kept scrubbing, numb to the stinging in her hands as if she could wash away the memories of that gore-spattered nightmare. As if she could wash herself clean of her sin.

A low knock sounded.

She pushed herself upright and heard herself say, "I'll be done in a minute." It did not sound like her voice, in fact, it could not be her voice, because it did not match the raging turmoil of emotion which filled her. She shut off the faucet, opened the door, and pushed past Beast Boy. His shocked eyes bored into her back but it didn't matter. The planes of her face remained stoic and flat, but the snapping of her cloak and the explosion of the hallway lights as she passed them were a dead giveaway. If only she could calm her inner turmoil. If only she could go back to the way she used to be, when she cared for nobody, not even herself. Maybe it would be better to stay that way and never feel again.

_That's very unlikely, Raven, _whispered a familiar voice. Her emotions peaked and her heart twanged with a dread which had also become all too familiar of late.

A/N: Yay, first short chapter ever! REVIEW! PLEEEEAAAASE! I beg of you! How realistic are my BBXRae moments?


	10. Chapter 10: Blood and Tears

A/N: Um, hi. After a really long time. When I said updates would be fast and forthcoming. I really apologize for the lack of update; this chapter terrified me and presented an unusual level of difficulty (which I was not expecting). And I had a major writers' block. However, I do enjoy this chapter, though it's practically useless for plot development. *Dodges a few rotten tomatoes.* All poor excuses, but at least there's another chapter, right? _Right?_

Disclaimer: *yawns* Same as usual.

Chapter 10: Blood and Tears

Beast Boy had always been, well, the dumb one on the team. He cracked jokes at inappropriate times, had a vocabulary a few pages long (at least that was what Raven insisted), and couldn't sense a moment to save his life. What did he expect? Of course he was going to be labelled as the dumb one when he only seemed to provide comic relief. But he was smart enough to know that confronting his half-demon teammate, who threw him out the window on a daily basis when she was in a _good _mood, was a bad idea. A really _really _bad idea which could (and probably would) have painful consequences.

The top of her dark head, just barely peeping over the couch, and the occasional rustle as she turned a page, were the only indicators of her presence, at least to any normal human but he was a far cry from normal. If his green skin, fangs, and pointed ears didn't reveal as much. Raven's scent was a dead giveaway, not that he'd ever tell her, a strange but pleasant mixture of spicy incense, old parchment, and...he knew it would upset her if he admitted this, but ash. He supposed it was a part of her demonic nature which she tried so hard to deny.

In truth, Raven _frustrated _him beyond belief. At least she had been frustrating him to this extent ever since things had taken a turn and started going badly. Ever since that despair had filled her eyes, and fear followed her every motion. He _got _that she had to limit her expression, but just because her emotions affected her powers, it didn't mean she couldn't show any emotion at all! She had taken it to the extreme and decided that no emotion was the best option, and for what? So that she could act like a total robot, void of feelings?

He huffed to himself. Maybe that wasn't the whole reason. Maybe that wasn't even part of the reason for his frustration at all. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Raven didn't trust him after all these years of taking hits for one another and living together. He could feel it burning at him in his gut, the snide voice hissing in his ear, _Look where your trust got you..._

And he did. He _trusted_ Raven, maybe more than he had any right to. He told her things, he confided in her, but she never reciprocated. And he knew he was probably just being selfish, after all, Raven _was _Raven, and he didn't have to take it so personally, but after all these years he had hoped that, maybe, just maybe, things had changed.

_But they haven't, _he thought bitterly, gripping the edge of the countertop. And now something horrible was coming, he could just sense it in his gut, and Raven had withdrawn and become even more secretive than when the prophecy of her birth, and the arrival of Trigon, had been forthcoming. Trigon was a full blood demon who towered higher than skyscrapers and had every power imaginable. He was, as Raven had warned them, "evil incarnate". How could things get worse than that?

But they were worse.

He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of soymilk before Raven started wondering why he was there. Taking his full glass, he sat at the side table, sipping at it occasionally, but all his awareness was focused on Raven's presence not fifteen feet from him on the couch.

Yet, despite his frustration and anger, he wasn't here to chew her out, or make her feel low, or try to make the truth snap out of her with his accusations. He'd done enough of that once already, and the end result had been a heartbroken Raven, and a Tower half destroyed by a magic-wielding dragon. He was here to help. Somehow. He was here to get her to talk to him at whatever cost.

From this angle, he could see the side of her face and read into her body language. She seemed to be reading a book, just like usual. But there was more to it. She gripped the book tightly in her hands, more tightly than was necessary if the slightly crumpled pages were any indication. Her back was a rigid vertical line, her shoulders slightly hunched, and every motion, even the turning of a page, spoke of her stiffness. What with the enhanced gray pallor, the hollow drawn face, the haunted eyes...she looked like a ghost, wrapped in her midnight blue cloak.

So maybe he was callous and just plain stupid at times, but he wasn't unperceptive and he could tell one thing.

Raven was hurting.

He knew how _he _had felt when he had heard that Robin had been shot. Raven could not have been feeling much different because she was a human being. She experienced happiness, sorrow, and pain...she despaired and felt sweet relief. She was just so much better at hiding those feelings than the rest of them that they sometimes forgot that she was not made of stone or ice, that she felt _everything _as they would, but kept it hidden away where they could not see. He had smelled all the blood from the infirmary...seen her come out of the bathroom with those haunted eyes...she could not just be _alright_.

It was, to his eyes, more than worry and fear. The way she had hunched over, her frame curled over itself, like nestling a wound at her center, spoke of a deep pain, not physical, but emotional, mental...something which he could barely touch, let alone soothe away.

But he could try. And he wouldn't be Beast Boy if he didn't risk life (well, maybe he was exaggerating with that one) and limb to try. And giving up was not an option.

"So..." he began casually, disappointed when she did not react to his voice, "I thought you might want to know that Robin's up and walking, though Cyborg's acting like a fussy mom-" he smirked at this "-and says he's not cleared to leave the medbay for another day...Star's backing him up, so that's pretty much guaranteed, but in a day or two, everything will be back to normal."

"If you say so," she droned. Her monotone even _sounded _normal, but she squeezed the book more tightly for a brief instant. He wanted to smack himself as he realized his word choice.

_Stupid, Beast Boy! How can everything go back to normal after she's seen Robin half-dead? After we've almost lost him?_

He waited for her to ask him _why _he was bothering to tell her this now, but she didn't. _Trying to get rid of me, Raven? You'll have to try harder than that._

She _was _trying to get rid of him. Here without her powers running, without her empathy, she had nothing. She was in the dark, blindly bumping into objects and trying to read his emotions through visual cues and his reactions. She was decent enough at it, because she had unconsciously tied certain emotions with certain actions as a child, but at the same time, there would always be a hint of uncertainty and doubt, and less prominent emotions would remain concealed to her. Because of this she didn't have a sense of his motives. She would never read his mind without his permission, but emotions indicated much about future actions. Maybe Beast Boy was just being plain old Beast Boy, bothering her at inopportune moments...or maybe he was looking for something more.

Beast Boy looked around them ignorantly, though he'd already known the answer to this question before he'd stepped into the room. "Where's Cyborg?"

"He's doing the smart thing and leaving me alone," came her curt reply. "Which is what you should do if you want your head to remain attached to you shoulders." He ignored the empty threat and looked at her in surprise.

"Well, why don't you just go to your room then?" he demanded, his voice quavering into a higher pitch. "I'm not stopping you!" An almost imperceptible shiver ran down her spine, but her voice remained controlled as she retaliated with "You don't own the living room, Beast Boy."

Well, at least he knew something else. Part of the problem, part of whatever had Raven terrified out of her mind and kept the fear scent swirling about her, came from her room. He made a note to look into that later. Then he took a deep breath and went for the direct approach, leaning forward slightly, though they were almost fifteen feet apart.

"Are you okay?" It came out in a garbled rush, but he knew she understood. The knots of her shoulderbones coiled more tightly, preparing herself, he realized, for the attack.

"Perfectly fine," she replied, flipping another page.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm _not_."

"Yes, you _are_," he retorted, mimicking her tone. He could not prevent some of his anger from coloring that statement. "Robin almost _died_. We were all scared out of our minds and blaming ourselves, and you want to act like you're just perfectly fine."

"Well, things are back to normal now, so it doesn't matter what was," she said caustically and he winced. He should have known that one dumb comment would come back to bite him in the butt.

"What was, or what is, Raven?" he asked, leaning back. She did not even stir, but her shoulders shifted slightly, and her mouth thinned. "I've been here for about five minutes and we're already fighting again." He hesitated, and sighed through his nose. "That's not what I wanted. I just wanted...to talk."

"You always want to talk about things that don't exist."

"Don't act like that!" he exploded, pounding his fist upon the table with a sickening crack! He was both surprised and slightly pleased to see that the action startled her, if only for a flicker of a moment. "Don't act like it's nothing, now or ever again! I _saw_ what you looked like back there," he hissed in between clenched teeth, his outflung arm and accusing finger pointed in the direction of the bathroom. "I _saw _you! That was _not_ nothing!"

"What do you want me to do then?" she demanded, snapping her book shut, and glaring at him levelly. "Shall I come weep on your shoulder? Maybe I should start tearing my hair out?" He dropped his eyes to the table, his fingers spasmodically clenching and unclenching. "What do you want?"

His anger left him, like hot metal cooling on the snow. His eyes flicked up to hers, once, twice, then grew unfocused, looking elsewhere.

_A moment ago there had been laughter, but now there was only a taut slience...and a strange rushing sound that whispered softly in the background. "Mommy? Daddy? What's wrong?" _

_ "Can't restart the motor, Marie," he muttered softly, so softly Garfield barely heard._

_ "It's okay, Gar, everything's going to be okay," she forced her voice into a light happiness, like this was another of their games. "I know you can do it, you did it once before. Just right up there to that branch."_

_ "I can't!"_

_ "You can, Gar." A lilt of desperation he had noticed, even as a child, filled her words. "Just right up there to that branch. Be a little birdie for your mommy." She looked over her shoulder to something he could not see, her large eyes fixed on his. "Please, Gar. Please."_

_ The rushing sound grew louder and louder, and morphed into a hungry roar, like that of some predator. And he didn't understand what was happening, everything was swirl of confusion, colors, sounds, voices. Why did he have to go? He did not even know how! _

_ He did not understand._

_ "Garfield Mark Logan," came his voice and Garfield flinched at the anger and loudness. "You turn into a bird and do as your mother says, this instant!" He had never raised his voice before, never, and unwanted tears filled Garfield's eyes, and spilled over. "Daddy?" The roar became deafening, and then he saw the steep drop, the foaming water falling over the sides many, many feet down, and there was only the water which surrounded him, the panic which filled him, the instinct which seized him._

Death. _He didn't think, he just acted. His parents frightened faces filled his vision, pleading, begging. "Go, Garfield!" _

_ And he went._

_ Like a coward, he went. _

Those scars had never left him. They never would. Raven was no different. "I want you to be honest with yourself...and with me," he said carefully, lowering his voice. "You may think you have to keep everything locked up, but you don't have to, Raven."

"Why does it matter?"

"Is it a good thing to keep things contained?" he asked, a playful expression forming on his face, his eyes widening slightly. Her eyebrows furrowed, suspicious of his sudden change of mood. "Maybe you'll just explode one of these days! Just up and KA BOOM!" He threw his hands into the air for dramatic effect. Her eyelid didn't even twitch.

"You're an idiot."

"Fine," he huffed childishly, crossing his arms. "I'm an idiot. Big deal, like you haven't called me that and a hundred other names already-"

"Did you want me to apologize for that?" she cut in acerbically. "I thought you heard enough of that from Timid-"

He held up both his palms in a pleading gesture. "No, I don't!" He hurried to explain before she could cut him off. "That's not why I mentioned it, I just-" he pushed his hand through his wild hair, searching for words. "I don't care what you call me, or what you do, but I'm not going anywhere until you open up, Raven!" Her face became stony. "You still have feelings, you still have emotions," he pressed on. "You lock them away but someday you're going to have to show them!"

She didn't speak, apparently confining herself to silence. Beast Boy sighed and buried his face in his palms, dragging at the delicate skin underneath his eyes with his fingertips. Why did this have to be so hard and why did he have to be so plain...stupid? He peeked at her between his fingers, inhaled her scent, his face twisting in revulsion at the blood, fear and pain. Then he rose and sat on the other end of the couch, maintaining his distance. For once the remote was in reach, so he turned the TV on and flipped through the channels as if he was somewhat interested.

"Do you want to watch something?" he asked courteously.

"No," she replied curtly.

"Do you mind if _I _watch something?" he asked lightly, testing the waters.

"You can rot your brains for all I care," came the scathing response.

He flinched, his ears drooping slightly. He had expected such a reply, after all, he received ones like it on a daily basis, but the coldness which filled every tone of her voice hurt him like he'd never thought possible.

"What's wrong?" he asked plaintitively. He kept his voice soft and waited for the rebuttal which was surely forthcoming. She ignored him. "Rae...?"

"I'm not going to ask you again not to call me that," she cut in snappishly without looking up from the pages.

"But _you_ said-" he began teasingly, intending to remind her of her slip-up from a few days earlier and maybe bring back their normal banter-

"Stop it."

He hesitated. It could be unwise to continue pressing her, especially considering the way that she was always on edge of late, but enough was enough. She couldn't just keep things to herself and think to tackle the problems all alone. It was destroying her.

She heard a shifting noise, and was more aware of his presence as he scooted closer, his eyes tender, kind and understanding. She kept her gaze firmly fixed on her book, but her aching eyes did not move to read the lines which were branded in her memory.

His arm came around her, and she stiffened.

"Don't touch me," she stated coldly.

His arm shifted and unexpectedly he reached over with his free hand and removed the book from her lap, flipping it shut and placing it off to the side.

Her head jerked up, anger burning in her eyes, an expanse of thick thunderclouds roiling in her mind. To her surprise, his gaze was fixed upon her hands, the corners of his mouth curled downwards in a frown.

"Raven, you're bleeding." She looked down, the blood dark, almost black, trickling from her fingers down onto the leather from the unhealed cuts in her hands. She looked at the blood numbly, surprised at her own lack of reaction. How _did _she feel about this? She scoured her own mind for her emotions. Disinterest. Distaste at the scent of blood again following her everywhere she went. Indifference. "I don't care." She tried to draw on a flicker of her powers to heal herself but Robin's healing had drained her and left her a powerless shell.

Beast Boy sighed softly, rose, and disappeared. Good. He was gone and would stop bothering her. She winced as her head throbbed suddenly, and lifted a hand to her temple. After a moment, to her astonishment, Beast Boy returned with a rag and a bowl of water. "Here." His hands gripped her wrists delicately, and pulled her palms towards him.

"Stop it." Red crept across her cheeks, but she didn't even have the energy to fight him, or throw him across the room like he deserved. Her hands quivered uncontrollably, but the light insistent pressure of his fingers seemed to lend her strength.

He wiped the blood off of her hands gently. Unexpectedly she felt the cloth across the side of her face, stroking away the blood stains across her scalp. Her eyes jolted upwards in surprise.

And her gaze met his, which was exactly what he had wanted.

Her heart skipped a beat as she stared into the depths of his emerald eyes, lit with that energy and sincerity. No words were said; no words were needed. His eyes said it all. Here he was again. Begging her. Begging her to expose her heart, her mind, her soul. Begging her to trust him.

"Stop it." she murmured again. She pushed his wrist away from her roughly, ignoring the twinges of pain from her hands. "Don't touch me."

She maintained her distance from him as best as she could, visibly leaning away from him. He did not react in any way but continued gazing at her and with a force of will she tore her eyes from his and focused her gaze on the ceiling.

"Leave me alone," she said robotically. He didn't say a word, just gazed at her, compassion shimmering in those forest-green orbs. He cared for her so much, she could feel it swelling through him, and overwhelming her, even through her faint empathy.

"Raven, let's talk about this," he murmured softly, with a trace of pleading.

"No." She kept her voice low and controlled, but something smashed with a tinkle nearby, a result of her returning powers, no doubt. He drew even closer to her, and she no longer compensated by leaning away from him, but pointedly stared elsewhere, as if by ignoring him he would suddenly cease to exist.

"I don't want to talk." Again the smashing sound and music of falling glass on the floor. She felt like Pinocchio, trying to lie her way out of the webs of deceit, and watching her nose grow longer and longer until it exposed her.

"I don't want to see you like this," he continued tenderly, trying to make eye contact with her. "I know you say that there's nothing to talk about it, but that's not true, is it."

A painful knot rose in her throat. Everything which she had been keeping hidden, the stress, the pain, the fact that her friends' demise was inevitable swirled upwards, unwanted and uncalled for. "It is true," she insisted, her voice bland and emotionless. She swallowed, harder and _harder_. Why wouldn't that stupid lump vanish? Why couldn't he just vanish? Couldn't he see that she didn't want to talk?

"You don't have to be alone." His gloved hand fell on her own. "And I know that you don't want to be alone, Rae. So please, _please_," he begged with a note of desperation, and she looked at him, his shining eyes fixed on her, "just talk to me."

"I'm not alone," she muttered, but her voice cracked horribly. She felt a dampness gathering at the corners of her eyes and she rubbed it away quickly with the heel of her hand. She was not going to cry, she didn't _need _to cry, she _didn't _cry. "I know that I'm not alone." It even sounded false to her. Every breath hurt quivering there in her throat, raw and painful, and they came faster and faster, her voice thick with dangerous emotion.

She expected him to continue pushing her until the answers came out but he didn't.

"Raven," he murmured gently, and compassionately. Her name balanced on its point for a moment in the stillness, a stillness so deep as if the whole world was holding its breath. "It's okay."

Just those words and her resolve shattered . She fell limply into his waiting embrace without thought or even regret. Her body shook with uncontrollable tremors. Beast Boy's arms winded around her, holding her carefully, and drawing her into him. He had never meant to elicit such a response and his heart ached for the dark empath. "I can't do it anymore," she whispered into his shirt brokenly, her voice cracking like the squeaking line of an old record playing. Her voice was muffled against his chest. "You, and Cyborg, and now Robin." The couch shook in reaction to the turmoil of her returning powers then stilled. "It won't be long before one of you-" She didn't finish the thought.

"That won't happen."

Somehow her arms had found their way loosely around his waist, but it was he who was holding her there, her anchor, steadfast and solid. She took a choppy breath and then another and another, pushing down the raw emotion.

"Just let it out," he said quietly. His heartbeat pulsed against her ear with a soothing rhythm, strangely reassuring. Her shuddering breath filled the quiet as she, unsuccessfully, tried to stem the stream of unwanted tears.

So she let it all go. Everything. Her shoulders shook with silent sobs as she cried, and the flow of tears dampened the front of his uniform.

When her sobs had died down, after a long while, maybe even an eternity, he spoke.

"Do you want to tell me what this is all about?" he asked, his voice floating over her head, and thrumming from his chest to her ear. She stirred there and burrowed her face deeper into him. Her breath see-sawed erratically and burned in her chest.

"I can't," she said hoarsely. "You wouldn't believe me even if I did."

"Try me," he offered.

She shook her head against him, her hair brushing the silkiness of his uniform with a rustling sound.

"It's my problem. I have to carry it," she spoke defeatedly with a deep sadness unnatural to her voice.

"It's never your problem," he replied. "We're a team, remember?"

She didn't answer. Who knew how much longer the team would remain intact? Starfire was heartbroken, Robin half mad with his obsession, Cyborg, who had always been a good mediator, had given up on them once. Maybe if things continued as they were, he would quit them entirely and move on to the Titans' East. Beast Boy was struggling again with the Beast and his instincts. They were all on knife-edge, about to slip off and fall at any moment.

There was a long pause, a comfortable silence which stretched on and on, which she did not feel compelled to fill. Weariness and fatigue filled her. She felt incredibly tired with him holding her close like this. His welcome warmth had spread through her, tingling through her limbs. He did not speak, but his hand stroked her hair, and she didn't care that he was touching her, or that he had invaded her personal space. None of that mattered.

Gradually her hiccuping breath eased and she stopped resisting the lulls of sleep. She knew that she was curled up against him, feet tucked underneath her, her head pressed against his side. It occurred to her that if Cyborg or Starfire walked in at this moment they would never let her live it down, but she didn't move. It was strangely comfortable and comforting to be held like this, in a way that she could never remember being held before, not even by her own mother. The monks had never offered such physical contact either. It was always distance, distance, distance, emotionally and physically, so that she wouldn't hurt others. So that she would keep her control.

"Raven," he spoke gently. "We can't keep avoiding this."

Her heart constricted and she tensed in his arms. Was he talking about her dealings with the Devil...or something else, perhaps the reason why her heart fluttered whenever he smiled at her, and a warmth filled her whenever she stared into the depths of his eyes. She shoved those feelings down hard, back into the depths where they belonged. She couldn't feel like this, not about him, and not now!

Beast Boy didn't move, he just held her, rhythmically stroking her hair and humming quietly to himself or to her, she couldn't tell. "We can talk tomorrow," he offered.

"Hmmm mmmm," she agreed without thought, achingly tired, and she felt hollow now that the torrent of emotion was spent. Yet somehow...she felt strangely...

Free.

She relaxed against him and fell into a deep sleep, a sleep without dreams.

A/N: Ok, there it is. The (hopefully) much anticipated chapter. Lots of BBXRae fluff...hopefully, good fluff, or maybe not fluff at all?

Also a quick explanation: Raven isn't completely drained of power (as this chapter indicated), but she lacks the energy to control her powers and therefore is unable to heal herself. However, the things she's feeling as Beast Boy is pressing her are, to say the least, extremely powerful, which is the only reason her powers react at all. I hope that makes sense...

What is the Devil planning next? Will Raven reveal all to Beast Boy? All to come in the next chapter (which hopefully will come out very soon). You know what to do! Leave me a review! ;)


	11. Chapter 11: Mirror, Mirror

A/N: I wanted this to come out humorously, because I oh do so love to mess with Raven's emotions…but things felt too serious to carry it that far. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up sooner (don't I always say that?) I'm not going to deny that I really hate this chapter a LOT, and am hoping you guys can help me fix it up later. I ended up writing a main section of the dialogue and then destroying it along with the chapter's ending because it didn't fit in with the seriousness of the situation.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Chapter 11: Mirror, Mirror

Silken sheets curled around her aching limbs as she stirred. She burrowed in deeper, trying to hold onto that pleasant warmth which was trickling away from her, and tugged at the blankets. She couldn't remember the couch being so warm and comfortable...or covered... in...blankets? Raven jolted upwards, looking around her. Looming bookshelves. Dusty scrolls. Half-melted candles. She wasn't on the couch! She was in bed, undoubtedly in her very own room! Unless this was another dream, but her consciousness was telling her otherwise. How had she gotten in here? One instant she had been on the couch reading, and then Beast Boy, something had happened with Beast Boy- She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to register the warmth in her at his name, rather than anger...they had been fighting, again, she was sure of it, but why was she so damn pleased about it?

She blushed and pressed her forehead to her knees as the memories clicked. She had fallen asleep on him of all people. What had she been thinking? And worst of all, what had she done? It was not like her to make promises that she did not intend to keep. It was not like her to lose all control and just let words _and _emotions slip out freely. Now was she to go back on her word and widen the gulf which had grown between them since the whole incident with the Devil? Dread coiled in her gut, turning her veins to ice.

And how could she tell him when everything, every response of Beast Boy's could be corrupted by...well, by _him_! She could shield her own mind, but shielding another's was almost impossible, too one sided and she could not offer full protection. There was no saying how Beast Boy would react to the news, especially with _additional _influence.

Not to mention the fact that out of all of them she was the _most _equipped to fighting the Devil's powers with her own demonic abilities, but Beast Boy could only fight what _actually existed_. He was grounded to the physical realm, and everything about this attack was mental and emotional. He could do _nothing. _And with Beast Boy that was never an option.

So now what could she do? She _could _get up, act like her usual cold self and pretend that none of this had ever happened. Her fingers traced the salty trails left by her tears, rubbing the grit away from her probably red eyes. That was the easy option and the one she would have normally chosen, but it would only exasperate her relationship issues with Beast Boy, and perhaps even create an opening for the Devil...

Her eyes roamed her room, her mind roaming likewise. Nightstand, old trunk made of pitted wood, a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's stories lying neglected on its side. _Would it really be so bad...to tell the truth?_ A mask with two faces, one smiling, the other frowning, a dove's feather._ Maybe he won't take it half as badly as I think he will, but maybe I'll be playing right into the Devil's hands. Maybe this is part of his game. _She groaned inwardly. Dusty vanity mirror perched on her chest of drawers...Mirror to Nevermore on her wardrobe... Shecouldn't even predict Beast Boy's actions under normal circumstances and the circumstances were far from normal... She did a double take. Mirror to Nevermore on her wardrobe? She slid slowly out of bed, and it felt as if her thoughts were frozen, trying to push their way through water instead of air.

Was she having another memory lapse? She was sure she had put her meditation mirror back in the wardrobe where it belonged, out of sight and out of mind...She rose, her lips pursed into a frown, and gripped the smooth handle, peering into it absentmindedly. A pale face stared back at her, red rimmed eyes highlighting her midnight eye color, now scabbed scratches at her temples, her skin paler than the moon.

Her eyes widened as the realization clicked. "Oh no."

TTT

_Earlier..._

_ Wow, I must've hit the ground hard, _Beast Boy thought, struggling awake. He blinked, the bright light around him blinding. _What's that? _Something lightly brushed across his nose. He waved his hand around in front of his face and it disappeared. Then again something tickled his nose. He huffed and raised his hand to his face to scratch the offending itch and-

_SPLAT! _ Wild laughter filled the air, ringing in his ears. The laughter of a person he'd never thought he'd hear laughing. Nah, it couldn't be, could it? Wait, Raven laughing? How did that happen? He blinked woozily through a face full of goo, and raised himself to a sitting position. Shaving cream dripped from his face into his lap, and he stared at his gloved hand as if it was the culprit. _Wait, what's going on here?_

"Hey, I did this last week to Cyborg," he heard himself say without thought. He grinned half heartedly at the idea of Raven pranking anybody. Then the grin slid off his face as he caught sight of the horizon.

He recognized it as Happy's domain. The fields were still golden, the trees were still pink, and the sky was still a mixture of the two. The smell of strawberries was almost overpowering. But there on the horizon, black tendrils of cloud stretched, lit by flashes of lightning, jagged white slashes cutting through the darkness. A heavy heat hung over him, and made the hairs on his arms prickle as though a storm was about to unleash itself upon him. He shifted into a crouch automatically at the tingling danger and a low growl sounded in his throat. _Raven, what's going on?_

"I know, silly, that's where I got the idea from," came a perky voice, breaking his focus.

He whirled around, his eyes narrowed and caught sight of a pink cloak. "Happy?"

"Duh." The emotion rolled her eyes. She looked like Raven, she even smelled like Raven, but he was pretty sure happy-go-lucky Raven didn't exist anywhere except in her head. He turned into a dog and shook off the remnants of the prank, liberally spraying the pink-cloaked emotion with shaving cream. Then a strange feeling came over him and his hackles rose. He jumped protectively in front of Happy.

There, underneath one of the trees, stood an emotion cloaked in pitch black. Beast Boy didn't know what black meant but it didn't matter; the four glaring red eyes were unmistakable. He growled out a warning, and the emotion's mouth curled in a sneer. Then another flash of lightning blinded him and she was gone.

He changed back into his human form, his eyes scouring any shadows for any sign of Rage. "I need to talk to Raven's smart side."

"You mean Miss Smarty Pants? Aw, c'mon, she's no fun," Happy pouted.

"Raven's in trouble…well, you're in trouble," he said, looking her firmly in the eye. "And it has something to do with that, doesn't it?" He lifted his eyes to the horizon.

She glanced over her shoulder and back at him with a funny expression on her face. "With what?"

Beast Boy frowned. _How can she not see it? It's right in front of her! _"That, the storm there and all the clouds," he explained, watching Happy's face. A shadow crossed the emotion's face. She faltered for a second and her form became less substantial, like staring through a wisp of cloud, before it solidified again. "Happy?" He gripped her elbows, staring into vacant eyes, the face curiously blank. A blank face was pretty normal for Raven, but not for her emotion. Then she shuddered and the sparkle returned to her eyes. "Whoops, sorry, spaced out there for a second," she babbled. Her eyes refocused on him. "What is it, B?"

"What just happened?" he asked, dry mouthed. "You just looked behind you and-" he cut himself off as another spasm crossed Happy's face, and her eyes locked with something in the distance. Was it just his imagination or was her cloak growing darker? He shook her shoulders. "Happy? _Happy_?"

"Beast Boy, that's enough." He turned to see the yellow Raven straightening her glasses. She frowned sternly at him but he frowned right back. If his attitude took her by surprise, she showed no indication. "It's not her job to concern herself with such things unless you wish to corrupt her and turn her into something else." He cast a sideways glance at Happy who was now cartwheeling through the grass with a loud "wheeeeeeeeeee". "We've been sheltering her from this for as long as we can." A hot gust of wind flattened the grass around them and sent Knowledge's cloak rippling. "If Happy is no longer happy, then she will cease to exist and that will be _very _detrimental to Raven's health and wellbeing." He didn't say anything and she realized that she might have been using too advanced vocabulary. "In other words, you making Happy realize that she should no longer be happy because of the storm-" she could practically feel her IQ dropping-"is going to hurt Raven-"

"I get it," Beast Boy cut in. "So that's why she went all see-through for a second?" Knowledge nodded. His emerald eyes scanned the dark horizon, his brows furrowed. "What's up with this storm anyways?"

"It metaphorically represents the danger which Raven feels is approaching."

"What's causing it?"

Knowledge tilted her head, studying him. She had never catalogued such a strange display of emotion from Beast Boy. He seemed to be some mixture of angry and defiant and serious all at once. Surely that was an oxymoron, serious and Beast Boy…He looked at her expectantly. "Raven directly, other things not so directly." _Most_ _intriguing_, she thought._ I will have to note this for later on._

"For a smart emotion you sure aren't giving me much of a straight answer," he huffed.

"I believe that she has decided not to confide in you."

"So?"

"So, you may not find us emotions in agreement with Raven's decision of silence, but we cannot break her vow of silence however much we may want to."

"Well, Raven says that parts of her are fighting all the time, and that some even want to kill me when _she_ doesn't so-"

"It's not the same."

"So none of you are going to be able to tell me," he sighed in disappointment. "Then this was all for nothing?" An idea struck him. "Is it Raven's angry side again?"

"No….why?"

"I just saw her underneath that tree," Beast Boy said, pointing. "I thought-I thought that after Trigon, Raven had better control..." he trailed off hesitantly. Knowledge looked briefly worried, then she removed her glasses and rubbed them on the hem of her cloak.

"That shouldn't be physically possible. Not only have we contained her-" she missed the flash of pain that crossed Beast Boy's face- "but we've isolated her where she should, in theory, be unable to cross into our realms. But things are breaking loose that shouldn't be," Knowledge explained, her eyes squinted. She replaced her glasses. "With what is approaching, Raven's calm is becoming unstable-"

A green cloaked emotion sprang up from the ground between them, her arm bent in a salute. "Timid's caged like you asked, General Four Eyes." She looked at Beast Boy. "Heya, BB."

"What?" Beast Boy jerked upwards, his eyes widening. He looked between their faces for confirmation then took off running. Poor Timid who did nothing but apologized hundredfold for one action, why would Raven want to lock her up? It was bad enough that she caged away her anger, now she was locking away the most helpless of all her emotions?

Someone tackled him from behind and he crashed to the ground. "Beast Boy you can't do this!" Another pair of hands appeared, attempting to pin his flailing arms.

"You can't just cage her!" he cried. He shifted into a field mouse and squirmed free of a tangle of limbs and multi-colored fluttering cloaks. Coldness engulfed his limbs and a finger of dark energy seized him in a bubble. "Beast Boy." He recognized the crisp voice as belonging to Knowledge. "She is no longer the emotion you acquainted yourself with. Due to…certain circumstances both her appearance and influence on Raven have changed." Beast Boy tried to change, but his form couldn't expand beyond the bubble of energy. The bubble expanded to allow him to take his human form which he did. "She's become Fear instead."

"Do y'know what'll happen if Fear gets out?" Brave asked, peering at him through the darkness. "She'll never use me at all, she'll be scared stiffer than a board! Do you wanna see Raven like that?"

"There's got to be a better way," he grunted. He tried to morph again. _Think big. _The shape of a blue whale appeared and his body moved to fill out the shape. The bubble of Raven's energy held him for a moment, then exploded outwards, sending the emotions holding him flying.

_Hang on, Timid, I'm coming, _he thought, moving as a cheetah for the archway which separated the emotions' domains. This should take him to Timid's place, that maze, at least that's how it had been last time-

THWACK!

Red exploded across his vision as something smashed him across the face. He went down hard. After a moment of darkness, he could hear voices around him.

Someone whistled in appreciation. "That's gonna leave a mark."

"He deserved it," a snide voice grumbled. "That and a kick up the a-"

"Hush, now, Rude there are children here," came Knowledge's clear voice. "I would say that that was unnecessary-"

"Why you wanna let him unleash her again? I'm not up for that and neither is Raven."

"Since when do _you _care about someone other than yourself?"

"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear," another voice quipped.

"I _know,_" came Brave's gruff voice. "And I already conquered it, so let's not go there again."

"Afraid of a little fight, Rambo?" Rude mocked. "That's a first."

"I'm not afraid to put you in your place, Fartsalot!"

"Don't start now!" Knowledge reprimanded them, while several voices sighed in unison.

"She started it, I'm just gonna finish it," Brave growled.

"Puh-lease," Rude yawned. "Could your one liners get any chees-" Suddenly they all hushed and their banter ceased. "She's here," a few voices whispered and he sensed some presences departing.

"Well, I think he's waking up," Knowledge remarked.

"That's supposed to be a good thing?" Rude asked and Knowledge tsked. His head throbbed sharply once and then he sank back into a darkness. "Or…..maybe not," he heard faintly and then he was gone.

TTT

"Things are worse than I thought," Raven breathed softly to herself, her eyes tracking the progress of the storm clouds on Happy's horizon.

Of course, she should have figured Beast Boy would do something like this. This was what she got for allowing him (well not really allowing him seeing as she was unconscious) into her room. Besides, how could she blame him? Here she had been playing hard-to-get in a manner of speaking, and he had gotten fed up with her secrecy and gone to find some real answers.

"Where is he?" she asked the multitude of emotions surrounding her. Happy pointed to Beast Boy sprawled across the grass. "And why are we _here?" _ She could never deny that out of all her emotions she felt most uncomfortable with Happy, mostly because she was so…un-Raven. She was a child at heart, had an imagination bigger than Beast Boy's, and _laughed at Beast Boy's jokes! _ How someone could find humor in his jokes was beyond Raven.Of course, there were other things, other emotions she was more uncomfortable with….she pushed the thought away.

"Contentment of course," Knowledge explained, pushing her glasses back up on her nose. "You were pretty happy so she was the last thing in your mindscape and on the surface, and thus the first thing he encountered."

"And why are you all here?" Raven asked, her face crinkling into a frown. The emotions exchanged uncomfortable glances before:

"He's Beast Boy, duh," Brave rolled her eyes. Raven's eyes narrowed.

"So?"

So, what she means to say," Knowledge cut in, stepping in front of Brave, "is that he is one of our friends. Due to your nature, we, your emotions, are not allowed to interact often with _any_ of our friends, thus when the opportunity arises…" There was an awkward pause then:

"Y'know, that's not what I was gonna say at all-" Brave started, before Knowledge placed a finger on her lips and made a shushing noise. Raven glared at the green clad emotion who looked back cockily. Raven huffed angrily when the Knowledge gripped her arm and turned her towards where Beast Boy lay on his back by himself.

Or he _was _by himself, she corrected herself. Another emotion crouched by his side, her dark cloak black? Was it just her imagination or did he cloak seem to lighten a few shades until it resembled purple?

"Affection, so what?" Raven asked, but she swallowed hard, her heart drumming faster.

"Not quite," Knowledge said.

The emotion's heart shaped face, _her _heart shaped face, was transformed by some unspeakable grief, and the slump of her shoulders spoke of great loneliness. She hesitated, then her fingertips ghosted across Beast Boy's cheek lightly. A brief blue light flashed from her hand and then it was gone, but she did not withdraw her hand. A thin remorseful smile painted itself on her face, then she turned her head sharply like a bird as Rude shifted behind Raven. Quickly the emotion rose and began to move away from him, away from them.

"She's leaving because she's not welcome," Knowledge noted.

"I don't mind Affection," Raven admitted, her eyes flickering to Knowledge's. Without her, Raven would have never cared for her friends as she did.

"But she's not Affection anymore, Raven," Knowledge whispered, with her customary deadpan and seriousness. Raven and the yellow-cloaked emotion's eyes locked, Intelligence's gaze intense with some meaning she was trying to convey.

Rude made a strangled sound of disgust. "So that's who we're looking at? Really?"

"Rude," Knowledge warned her, clearly trying to quiet her.

"I don't have time for this," Raven said harshly.

Rude frowned at her. "OK, well then I'll be frank. It's what I do best anyways."

"What you do best is rude," Brave said from Raven's other side before Knowledge hushed her.

"C'mon Ravey, y'know who this is, right?" Rude continued with an unpleasant smile. "Y'know, Ms. Mooshy Gooshy? Amor? Lubby Dubby?" With every title she thrust her face closer to Raven's. "Cupid? Love?"

"That's love?" The word was half-strangled in her throat, hoarse and filled with disbelief. Raven's head snapped around to the fleeing emotion.

"Well, unrequited love after _him_." Thunder roared overhead at the mention of Malchior and her emotions, except for Brave, winced.

"I'm not in love."

"_I _think you are," Rude commented snarkily. "And it's getting really pathetic." Rude smirked at the blank look on Raven's face. "With Beast Boy, of course., Ravey Wavey."

Something throbbed in her chest and the world felt like it was spinning out of control. "I _can't_." Raven closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples. "I can't deal with this right now."

"Yeah, sure, just ignore it, 'cause repressing your emotions has worked so well every _other _time," Rude remarked snidely. Fire licked at Raven's core and she glared at the orange clad emotion who inspected her fingernails. A flicker of lightning came from overhead and a black-cloaked emotion materialized besides them, smiling balefully, her four red eyes fixed on Rude. Then she disappeared in another flash of light.

"Stop distracting me," she said coldly and she turned back to where Beast Boy lay.

Except he was gone.

TTT

"Wait! Where are you going?" He jogged to catch up with her and she hesitated, then forged forward with a quicker pace. "Hey!" he said, trotting at her side. The emotion did not turn her head to look at him, her face set by some determination. "Helloooooo! I'm right here!" He flapped his gloved hand in her face but she paid it no heed.

He reappeared right in front of her, blocking her path. She jerked to a halt, and pained sorrowful eyes met his, their message powerful.

He flinched as though struck. It was the one look which he had sworn he would never let appear on Raven's face again. The same look which had appeared on Raven's face after Malchior...but this wasn't Raven, so who was this? What part of her could this be? Caught up in his thoughts, he just stood there as the emotion brushed past him. He snapped out of his trance a second later, running after her. "Whoa, slow down! I just want to talk!" The emotion plowed on, eyes set on a distant horizon. "I won't hurt you, I swear!" No response.

Frustration burned in him. Why wouldn't she just listen? He wasn't trying to hurt anyone's feelings and that look...that look…He had to repair this whether it was his responsibility or not. He reached out desperately and grabbed her wrist.

She stopped, and looked at him sharply, her startled eyes wider than a doe's. Her pulse fluttered against his fingers like a bird's wings. "Beast Boy," she murmured, a low ache in her voice which made his heart throb sympathetically. He shuddered at her voice filled with the many emotions Raven refused to reveal. "You should leave here."

"Not until I get some answers!" he protested. "Raven won't tell me anything, so maybe you can!" The emotion shifted her weight so she was facing him fully. He noted dully that she did not pull away from him.

"I'm just a buried piece of Raven's subconscious," the emotion whispered. "She won't even admit I exist," she added with a bitter chuckle. But her eyes did not change. Her words were tinged with a bone-deep weariness and pain. Her cloak wasn't gray, it was a deep shade of purple, almost black.

"So...who are you, anyways?" he asked, puzzled. "I've never seen you before-"

"You haven't been here that often," she replied, keeping her eyes on a distant hill.

"So…" he smiled at her in an attempt to cheer her up. "Wanna play 20 questions?"

"You're going to have to leave soon," she said, her tone beginning to warm a little, a slight smile curving her lips. He blinked in surprise as her cloak lightened until it was a shade of lavender. Then there was a crash of thunder and a flicker of lightning, and a shadow crossed her features. Beast Boy blinked, taken aback by the sudden swerve in feelings. He could smell the rank fear, and felt her pulling away from him...both physically and mentally. Her eyes flicked over to him and he could see the fear in them, fear towards him! _What did I do?_

"So, are you Sadness?" he asked, ignoring the change.

"No."

He cringed a little. "Depression?"

To his relief her reply was the same.

"No."

He already knew the answer to this one but he asked it anyways. "Fear?"

"No." The last was a soft breath carried by light winds.

Beast Boy scratched his head. Here he was facing a sad looking emotion who sometimes feared him and occasionally smiled and found him amusing? She was more like a person and less like an emotion than any of the others he had ever met. "Well, who are you then?"

"No one of importance," the emotion sighed.

"According to Raven, I lack Sherlock Holmes intelligence, so you can't really expect me to piece anything together," he said smugly with a snort. "So, who are you? Raven?" he pleaded, then shook himself. It was disorienting to see the features of Raven and not think he was talking to Raven. Well, this was a part of Raven so in a way he was talking to Raven, some piece of her subconscious

The girl bit her lip, and a flicker of indecision wracked her. "I-" she stammered, and the smell of fear became even stronger. _Why is she afraid of me?_

She looked over his shoulder and then her eyes were charged with a sudden energy and intensity. He didn't dare move. He couldn't. He could hardly breathe. Some unnameable look had filled her eyes, a look he couldn't quite identify but one that didn't belong to Raven, or any of her emotions.

The emotion lifted her pale hand hesitantly and her soft fingers brushed their way down his face. He felt a burning line where her fingers had touched him as the blood rushed to the skin, tingling. Her emotional eyes searched his for a sign of disapproval. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, savoring the moment.

"Be safe," he heard her murmur softly. The words struck a chord of memory within him and his eyes shot open.

_"I can't hide from my destiny any longer," she whispered, the soft words resigned._

_ "No!" he cried. She turned, tendrils of black electricity striking them in the chest and lifting them off the ground. He cried out in pain, his friends' voices ringing in his ears. Darkness cornered his vision, and a roaring sound filled his ears. Suddenly the pain vanished. He felt the icy touch of her powers set him lightly upon the ground._

_ "Goodbye," she whispered. "Be safe." Her footsteps dwindled and the darkness took him._

_ Not again! _he thought. He scanned the emotion's face, and she stared back, her look only confirming his fears. His heart drummed faster and the scent of fear swelled overpowering him, his own fear mixed with hers-

"Beast Boy!" came a distant cry in Raven's unmistakable voice. Or one of her emotion's voices. The dark clad emotion jerked away from him sharply as if his touch burned. Her cloak rippled about her as she whirled around and fled in a full run.

"Wha-wait! Don't go!"

"Beast Boy!" A trace of worry filled the call and he sighed and watched reluctantly as the emotion melted in nothing. Then he turned back to face the emotion.

His eyes registered the deep blue cloak fluttering around her, and he cringed a little. Not emotion, but Raven. As in the _real _Raven.

"Go ahead," he said, pointing to a place on the side of his jaw. "Right here."

"What?" she asked with a touch of irritation.

"You can hit me. I deserve it. I mean, I really violated your personal space….and your trust I guess." Sorrowful emerald eyes locked with the golden grass, "not to mention your mind."

"Beast Boy, I'm not going to hurt you," came her weary voice. "Not now, or ever."

His eyes locked with hers and she almost took a step back as his emotions hit her….anger, sadness, betrayal, even _fear_. _Why does he feel betrayed? And why is he _afraid?

_ Maybe because you won't trust him, _suggested a soft voice in the back of her head. _Maybe because he knows._ He dropped his gaze before she could read into it more and she flipped her hood up, cloaking her face in shadow.

"So….are we going to talk about this?" he asked in clipped tones. Well, the anger definitely was directed at her, but she hoped that the fear wasn't. That would bite too deep. Beast Boy read into her body language, her open eyes suspicious. Her hand rubbed at her arm and she refused to make eye contact with him….she was _uncomfortable_ around him? Why? He had expected her to find him in here spitting mad and ready to roast him over a fire for his invasion of her mind, but she only had the sense to feel uncomfortable around him? And now _he_ was the mad one? Since when had their roles reversed?

"Not here and not now," she said finally, her eyes flickering around. He caught sight of three or four faces poking their heads around a tree trunk...Raven's faces….Raven's emotions, listening.

"Are we ever going to talk about this, Raven, or are you just going to let things get out of hand first?" he demanded angrily. It came out with more emotion than he intended but Raven did not react visibly. The sky darkened though, and chilling rain fell on them. It didn't matter whether her emotions were listening! It wasn't as if Robin, or Starfire, or Cyborg was eavesdropping; they were just a part of Raven and would hear this sooner or later, assuming Raven was going to confess.

She looked up at him, dark eyes conflicted. "Yes." The word slipped free without her permission, and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly and shook her head. "I mean-no, I can't, I-" She tossed her head, the water dripping off of her hood. He knew that his heart leapt for more reasons than one; he didn't just want this for Raven's wellbeing, but so that he could be the one she trusted, the one she turned to…He pushed the thought away fiercely, but shame had already enveloped him and his anger dissipated.

"I just wanted answers, Raven, honestly that's the only reason I came here." He looked at her earnestly, his normally messy hair soaked and lying flat on his head. She closed her eyes trembling. _Because it's bad, as in Trigon bad or worse and I won't let you sacrifice yourself again, _he added mentally.

"I know," she said softly. The sound of rain dwindled and disappeared, but she did not open her eyes. "I know what you might be thinking when I tell you," she said, keeping her voice passive, "I know how you may feel when you hear all this, but please, keep an open mind."

"Okay," he said, and his voice sounded very distant.

She took a deep breath.

TTT

They sat on the rocks, the sea spread out before them, the Tower behind them.

"This is where a lot of our moments happen, huh?" he joked softly, trying to ease the tension. It felt like a string pulled taut which at any moment might snap if she made but one wrong move.

"This isn't a moment, Beast Boy, this is serious," she said curtly, her emotions twisting in her gut.

"I know," he said patiently, when she expected a sharp retort. She took three deep breaths letting them out to counts of ten. _Please let this work. _And she told him everything.

All of it.

She held nothing back.

And she watched as the humor died from his eyes, to be replaced by an almost palpable fear.

"What is this a joke?" he asked, when she had finished. She flinched as though struck. His words contrasted sharply with his face, his features blank and unreadable when they should have been twisted into a Cheshire cat grin. Overcome by a sudden need for his comfort, or a sudden need to comfort him, she was not sure which, she reached out impulsively to take his hand. He wrenched himself away from her and turned his back before he could see a flash of pain cross her face.

She could hear him pacing behind her, mumbling to himself. She struggled to quash the rebelling tide of emotion, the feeling of betrayal, and anger and loneliness at his reaction. _You don't know yet. Give him a chance._

"_That's _what's been going on this whole time, Raven?" he asked, that high note of panic creeping in. She turned her head to watch him, but did not rise to speak with him face to face. "That-this is no small thing," he whispered breathlessly. "I don't, how can we…" he trailed off, and gripped his hair tightly.

"You're going to end up bald if you keep doing that," she remarked sarcastically.

"Do you think I care?" he spat, and his eyes flickered around him like a cornered animal's. He paused, recollecting his thoughts. "And it's worse than Trigon?"

"Yes," she admitted sharply. The anger and betrayal grew sharper and more poignant. _Wait. Give him a chance! _

"But Trigon was something that we could fight, something that was actually _there_." He faced her. "You're _sure _it isn't Slade?" He looked at her, a wild hope kindled in his eyes. "He's not just tricking you somehow?" His eyes begged her, pleaded with her to say yes.

"You tell me how Slade gets in my head, impersonates the Devil, and reads my mind," she replied bitingly. "It's _real_."

"But it's _not _real!" he exploded, his voice rougher with a tinge of the Beast. "We can't _see_ it, we can't _hear_ it, but it can affect us all it _wants? How are we suppose to fight this?_" he roared suddenly. She didn't jump or make any response to the sudden volume of his voice, but her powers sparked in her palm. She had expected him to tell her that everything would be okay, that he would lift her spirits like he always did. But he didn't. Her heart was sinking into icy water, her own hopes gone.

His eyes flickered down at her hand and he grinned, not Beast Boy's smile, but a cruel sadistic smile, his eyes black holes in his face. "What's the matter, Raven, getting a little nervous?" he growled in the throaty rasp which came before the Beast. She glared at him, concealing the hurt, but her emotions screamed at her.

Then she tilted her head. Something was…. off, not quite sliding into place, not quite sliding into clarity…. like a lens blurring her vision….and-

_ She could not sense his mind!_

_ She cursed herself for being tricked. The dead haunted eyes bored into her with a touch of triumph. Then the colors bled out of the world until it was back to that white._

_ And Beast Boy was gone, only to be replaced by _him. _The Devil._

_ "Y'know it's time for us to treat our relationship with a first name basis," he said buffing his fingernails on the edge of his coat. "I mean, I appreciate titles and all, but you're hardly very specific in your…titling," he said with a smirk. "The Devil," he said slowly, tasting the word. "You _do _always think of me like that, I saw the impressions in your mind from past thoughts you see, and of course, this little conversation proved it…"_

_ "What does it matter what I call you?" she asked, pushing down the swelling emotions, rage being the first and foremost. _No, rage will lead to no control, rage will leadto evil, _she reminded herself._

_ "Well, it matters to _me,_" he said, pushing back his hat so that the brim was tilted. "How would you feel if I called you something different?" He touched a finger to his chin, clearly in contemplation. "How about….Trigondaughter?" She didn't react, but carefully shielded her mind from him. "Or what if I was more formal than was necessary? Ms. Raven?" He chuckled to himself, his teeth flashing. "My that sounds professional, doesn't it? How about Ms. Roth?" His eyes glittered at her. "Of course, that does tie you to your father-who-isn't-your-father…" His eyes glinted mischievously and his pointed teeth flashed as his smile widened to a thin crescent. "Mrs. Logan?"_

_ The knot of conflicted emotions she had been suppressing since she had seen Love exploded and her powers crackled out of her in useless electricity. She threw a punch without even thinking about it but he had disappeared and reappeared ten feet away. _

_ "Stay out of my personal life!" she cried, the emotion fueling her._

_ "Of course," he laughed pleasantly. "But remember, I prefer the first name basis. So…."_

_ "So?" she said coldly, her voice opposite her boiling emotions._

_ "So, you now have my new 'title'," he said, making air quotes._

_ "Fine," she said shortly._

_ "Ah, ah, ah?" His hand cupped an ear, and he looked at her expectantly. _

_ "Fine, Satan," she added cooly, though her whole being rebelled at the use of the name._

_ A jolt shook the mindspace, sending the floor out from under her feet. The ground pitched several times, roiling with strange waves. Raven looked up quickly, and saw his head tilted upwards, his mouth twisted in an inhuman snarl. He stood steadily on his feet despite the jolts. With his attention turned away from her, she pushed out with her powers, and the bubble of sleep shattered. _

_ The world darkened and the last thing she saw was him shaking his head._

_ "A mild interference, but he'll get what's coming to him soon. And don't be so proud, Raven, you've hardly escaped me either…." _

A/N: The one emoticlone who only comments once, but whose comment is a quote, is Wisdom. I kind of liked the idea of having her be a quote quipping figure who never gives direct answers.

Actually, I've realized that some of you are having problems with Robin's attitude (event though he's being influenced) so try to think of him as he is in the _Haunted _episode with Slade, when he sees Slade everywhere and is completely obsessed with him. Also, if anything's confused the whole scene where Beast Boy's in Raven's head is real, it's what happens afterwards that isn't. And yes this is long, but it was worth it, right?

What is causing the jolts in Raven's dream? Will Raven hold to her resolve to tell Beast Boy the truth despite her dream? Who is going to get what's coming to him? When will these pointless questions _cease_? Please review!


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth

A/N: A more recent update, if I do say so myself. I really apologize if I confused anyone with the last chapter….it was pretty jumpy and possibly nonsensical. Feel free to drop me a review with questions if you don't get it (and maybe I'll fix it someday…) Hmmmm, I just realize that I never actually explained how Robin got shot….hmmmm, I may want to fix that…..or not!

I don't think I'm supposed to address your reviews here, but thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad that people enjoy this story and think that it's high quality; it makes me very happy and motivated to write more!

Chapter 12: Confessions

"Raven, Raven!" called a voice, muted by the swirling black fog which surrounded her. Even in her half dream state she couldn't miss the desperation and pleading note to that voice. _Time to wake up. Wake up, Raven, wake up! _She forced herself through the darkness like it was some thick sludge and opened her eyes. A green face swam before her vision then focused. Beast Boy peered down at her worriedly, his fang glinting in an unconvincing smile.

"You just….passed out," he clarified, his dark eyes probing her carefully. She groaned and raised her hands to her temples at the sudden pounding headache. _That _definitely hadn't been there before…before…Her eyes flicked up to Beast Boy's. He looked like Beast Boy, those deep green eyes pools of open emotion. But she had to be sure… Impulsively she sent out a barrage of thought, checking for emotions, the racing of thoughts, for his _mind. _She could not afford to be tricked again. Worry stood out foremost, and then compassion, and a swirling madness of thoughts made indecipherable at the moment due to his animalistic nature. Her probe lashed against him too hard, she realized. He winced a little and shrank away from her.

"Sorry," she apologized, which in her monotone didn't sound like much of a sorry at all. Her eyes told a different story if only for a moment. "I had to make sure…."

He opened his mouth to ask a question, then closed it, sighing through his nose. "I figure I should just keep my mouth shut," he admitted guiltily. He rose, offering her a gloved hand which she took. Standing, she could now see the thunderclouds overhead, golden grass underfoot, comically colored trees around them….they were still in Happy's domain? She hesitated, briefly shaken. She had thought that perhaps the whole thing had been a dream….if he could force her into unconsciousness here in her own mind, what could he do to her while awake? Torture her? Isolate her mind from her body so she was a vegetative shell of herself? She pushed those thoughts away. _It doesn't matter. I'll take that risk any day._

Beast Boy looked at her with a mixture of hope and expectance. _Now what do I do? _she asked herself.

Maybe the intended effect of the De-Satan's message, she corrected herself, waste destabilize her. And she couldn't deny that it was working. She trusted Beast Boy, but to tell him this could be destructive. Satan would be sure to have a hand in it, and Beast Boy could react violently, or despair. Or maybe it was just reverse psychology. Maybe this is what she _should _do to gain the upper hand. She wanted to groan and bury her face in her hands, but Beast Boy was watching. Beast Boy who had held her when she was out of her mind with grief, who always offered his comfort and help no matter the hurt to himself, and who refused to leave her alone. This wasn't right. This was _not right._

Even if she wanted to, she realized that she could no longer keep this from him. Her conscience churned in her gut, almost forcing the words from her lips. But how…how could she tell him, and protect him? Maybe there was some way she had overlooked, a ward or shield….but what would hold back the most powerful demon, the most evil being in the universe? What could restrain the Devil?

The answer came to her. Her eyes shot open and she grabbed his hand, pulling him along with her towards the exit of her mind. There was _one _place….how could she have not thought of it before….she had always seen them clustered about the city, open doors welcoming….Beast Boy gave her a bewildered look she felt more than saw.

"Uh, Raven? Could you please tell me what's going on?" She didn't even give him a sideways glance, her mind racing with thoughts….and even a spark of hope. He looked down at their hands, easily keeping up with Raven's hurried strides. She held his hand so their fingers weren't linked, almost like it was some strange foreign object, but still she was _holding his hand. _She was _touching him. _Her eyes flickered over to his and read some strange….wonder, or confusion? She spoke purposefully.

"You wanted answers, didn't you?"

TTT

Raven eyed the front doors with some measure of trepidation. All her previous resolve seemed to have crumbled, and the old misgivings gnawed at her. _Why are we doing this? Why are we here? _

Almost as if voicing her thoughts, Beast Boy piped up. "Any reason why we're here?"

"It will make sense in a minute," she half explained, her eyes tracing the shape of the cross overhead.

The church cast a long blue shadow over them, its open doors more like a gaping mouth than a gesture of welcome. Far above the doorway, on the arches, perched saints or angels, their robes billowing about them in mighty folds, their faces schooled into stern expressions. Raven could almost hear them hissing, _Be gone. Go away._ The bells rang dimly from the belfry, announcing the hour. Here she and Beast Boy stood, hesitating at the entranceway. Why? _Because I don't know if this will even work, _she thought. "I'm not actually sure I'll be allowed within," she commented softly, more to herself than to him. He must've heard something in her voice, because he looked at her strangely.

"Raven, why wouldn't you be-oh," he said, the realization dawning on him. "You mean the-your dad?"

She nodded curtly, refusing to look at him.

"It'll be all good, Raven," he consoled her gently. "I think they take anybody, Raven, and they judge on actions right? So…" he dwindled off and rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, _I've _never been, ever, so I guess I'm in as much trouble as you are…." That couldn't be farther from the truth. Beast Boy was not a half demon witch who had once dabbled in black magic. But he didn't deserve her scalding words so she just kept her mouth shut. Well, the truth wasn't going to come out any faster doing this. And Beast Boy was waiting. She took a deep breath and crossed the threshold. She didn't burn into a thousand pieces and no unseen force stopped her and she looked down at her hands in some surprise. Nothing. No pain. No voices ringing in her head and telling her to begone. Just silence.

Beast Boy smiled at her triumphantly, his fang flashing in the sudden darkness. The one open inner door beckoned, and she started it for it slowly, still surprised that nothing had happened at her entrance. A demon walking into a church….that had to be a first. Unless there wasn't the hidden power here which she was hoping for….? She quelled that thought and entered the church.

It was surprisingly dark inside. No artificial lights glowed overhead, and only sunlight streamed through the multicolored stained glass windows overhead, vibrant reds, greens, and blues thrown in twinkling patterns upon the floor. The rigid pews were strangely empty; she always imagined the church to be full at every time of day. But there only a few people knelt at the altar. A strange lump formed in her throat. She should _not _be here. She definitely should _not _be here. She had never felt more out of place, more unwelcome in a way. Her _kind _were not supposed to be here. She turned back, half in a decision to go out, and half looking for Beast Boy and found him touching the holy water. She watched him with a comical expression, she was sure of it, as he knelt and made the sign of the cross.

"What?" he asked in a hushed whisper that ricocheted off the walls, and seemed magnified. He flinched and she frowned at him.

"I thought you said you've never been before," she accused him softly, but it seemed just as loud.

"It just seems like something you're supposed to do," he shrugged. "From movies, and stuff," he added sheepishly, though he knew he was going to get it.

She didn't criticize him or anything, but it felt wrong to talk here where everyone could hear, where they might be disturbing others. She moved down the aisle a ways, her hand skimming over the edge of the pews. She needed someplace protected by this (if there was any protection to be had), without being so exposed. Her light footsteps seemed to echo loudly, and slap against the walls before slamming into her own ears. Her own breathing even seemed too loud. Strangely, she could not hear Beast Boy's steps.

She stopped halfway before the altar, eyeing the churchgoers critically, but they didn't seem to notice them, which surprised her. All the Titans were all easily recognizable (except for Robin, if he ever removed his mask) and almost instantly drew attention. But not here which brought her some measure of peace. If there was one thing she resented, it was public attention.

She lifted her eyes to the beams overhead, tracing the lines of gold paint. There had to be special rooms here which were only accessible to priests or the janitors….

"Hang on," she intoned softly and gripped his forearm. He tensed as her powers washed over them, and she tried to shelter him from the bitter cold which accompanied her teleporting. They rematerialized in the belfry, the cold wind spilling over its edges.

"Whoa," Beast Boy said, peering over the edge. The sunlight slanted onto his head, shining on his hair. "This is cool!" The wind ruffled his hair and he looked back at her, the excitement in his eyes dimming. "So, you never did tell me….what are we doing here?" He cocked his head at her with childlike curiosity, still patient. She pressed a palm against the cool bronze surface of the bell to steady herself.

"I needed to talk to you," she began, dry mouthed. Her heart picked up speed and he tilted his head again. She wondered if he could hear her heart; those big ears surely weren't just for show. A spark of hope glittered in his eyes, and she felt some disbelief?

"Raven," he spilled out quickly, "I just want to say something. Whatever it is that you're going to tell me, you're not leaving us again like last time…you can't. That won't make anything better." He leaned his head against the bell support post, the ridges of his shoulder bones sharp against his curved back. "When I was in your head," he began defeatedly, his eyes downcast, "I met an emotion who made me think back to when the world was ending and you-" here his eyes met hers "-knocked us out and left. You tried to sacrifice yourself." A tinge of anger spread into his voice and he straightened, his eyes boring into hers. She stared back defiantly. "Whatever this is, no matter how bad it is, I won't let you do that."

"That's a bad idea, and you may have no choice," she said sharply, and she could just see this starting off as another fantastic argument. She pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned against the railing. "You should sit down."

His eyes widened, reading her expression. "I-"

"Sit down," she said shortly. He hesitated then crossed his legs and sat on the floor.

She took a quiet breath and closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his reaction.

And then she let the words, so long restrained, free.

They came out with more emotion than she had expected, her voice rising and falling in a soft cadence, just above a whisper, but he would hear it. All of it. She was sure of it. He always heard everything she said, even the things she never meant to or the feelings she never meant to let slip.

She opened her eyes. He was staring at her, his mouth slack. She sat there patiently, though her mind was screaming at her to demand an answer. He blinked once….twice, and closed his mouth. "Are you-this is-it's not a joke, right?" She flinched, his words an echo of Satan's mimicry of him. He laughed emptily. "Of course it's not a joke, I mean you're _Raven_, right? But this is-I don't know-"

She slammed her eyes shut, feeling the warmth of the sun on her hair, her skin. She didn't want to see anymore. She didn't want to watch him turn into what she'd already seen once, albeit from a dream. _This was wrong, this was wrong, I should have never told him! _One of her hands clenched the fabric of her cloak, gripping it tightly.

"I shouldn't have told you," she said icily, turning her back on him, and looking out over Jump City. The sunlight reflected off the building windows in hot glimmering slices that were almost painful. "This is beyond any one."

"Rae," he murmured softly in a voice which tugged at her heart strings. She kept her eyes fixed firmly on the horizon and felt his presence at her side. "This is all real?" he asked. She could feel him looking at her, trying to beg the answers from her with his ridiculous puppy eyes, the way someone can feel the touch of another.

"Yes," she said brittly.

"So it's not just Slade?" She winced again, more internally this time. "I mean you were really really afraid when Slade showed up again and I thought-"

"No, it's not Slade," she said curtly. A long pause followed before he spoke in a very small voice.

"So the Devil?"

"Yes, Beast Boy, that is what I meant!" she burst out, whipping around. A flock of pigeons took to flight at her raised voice. "Not some lesser villain, not some guy who calls himself the Devil, but pure evil itself!" She crossed her arms, looking away from him, but with one glance she read the fear in his eyes.

_Control your breathing, Raven. Deep breaths. You _cannot _lose control. _Her old self would have been contemptuous of her current lack of control and how easily she came to the edge. Now the edge was always there, just in sight, and she was always teetering on it, threatening to plunge into the abyss.

"No wonder you were going crazy, Rae," he said quietly. "This is-this is huge, this is _terrifying," _he added with a touch of breathlessness. Her eyes found his for a moment. The fear was still there, but somehow diminished and under control. The tightness in her chest vanished and she wanted to gasp for air. Perhaps there _was_ some protection here. "You shouldn't have had to hold this in for so long, you should have told us right away-" she looked away from him "-and I dunno, maybe we can _help _you somehow. We defeated your dad and he was actually here. I mean, c'mon Rae," he said, his voice rising in pitch and volume with the exclamation, "he froze everyone in stone, and was blasting us with killer laser eyes, and was taller than a skyscraper-" he saw her disbelief and let the drama die from his voice with a sheepish grin "and yeah, but we still beat him, we still won. This guy isn't even real-"

"He's _real_, Beast Boy," she said sharply.

"Well, yeah, I mean he is, but not actually _here, _y'know what I mean."

"This is going to be harder than anything we've ever faced, Beast Boy," she reprimanded him, swallowing hard. "Don't treat it so lightly."

His eyes grew distant and she looked away.

Then his gloved fingers brushed her hand, almost asking for her permission before he took it gently. She looked down at their linked hands and then back at his face. He was so open, so sincere, so caring. It didn't matter that what they were facing was ultimate evil, or that she had kept it from him for so long. He smiled gently.

Suddenly she gasped and tore her hand away from him as her fingers burned. His wide eyes took in the angry red marks on her hands. "You're hurt! What did I-"

"Holy water," she murmured through clenched teeth. "Raven I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," he said hurriedly. He ripped off his gloves, his cool fingers enfolding the hot throbbing pain on her fingertips before she could protest. "I didn't know, I -"

"Not your fault," she cut him off. Holy water was one of the few physical weapons against demons; as far as mental weapons went there were much fewer, or none. She would never admit it but his hands felt good against the feverishness of her burns. Here she had felt safe but this was a reminder of her own nature. The ugly burn marks would heal but not by her power. And they might scar, she couldn't be sure.

She looked strangely at their hands, gray with green. An odd combination, to say the least. Why did her heart flutter at the thought of green and gray-together? She looked up once and knew it was a mistake when their eyes locked, his gaze reassuring steady and strong. His fingers brushed lightly against the burn marks on her hands, soothing away the pain, though she couldn't see how that was possible.

Raven's communicator chirped and he reached over and unclipped it from her waist. She flushed, but he still had one hand wrapped around hers and his eyes held her as much as her hands.

"Beast Boy," she heard Robin say. "Where's Raven?"

"Here, with me," Beast Boy replied a little stiffly, though Robin's cold demeanor had long vanished. She schooled her expression back into the familiar stoic lines. He raised her communicator so she could see his face on the screen and so that Robin could see her.

"What is it, Robin?" she asked. The Boy Wonder looked perturbed from the deep lines around his mask, but not angry. He sounded apologetic.

"Something's going on at the county jail-they city police officers lost all communication with them, and their video feed went dead."

"How long ago?" she asked, suppressing the cold dread. This was more than coincidence. _He_ had said that the games were just beginning.

"About an hour. We have no word on the state of the convicts-" there was a rattle of keys "-but most of Jump City's villains are there. If it's a simple power outage, backup power should have been up and running by now. And even if it was just a simple power outage, the cell doors are sealed regardless of the power and are only opened by a coded signal, much like a garage door opener."

"So," she said with narrowed eyes, "you're telling me that every villain in Jump City's Jail could be out and loose by now?"

"Yes," Robin said matter-of-factly.

"In other words," came Cyborg's voice from somewhere behind Robin, "we've got a major problem."

A/N: A much shorter chapter than the last one, but ah, the truth is out at last. And to a surprisingly good response, all things considering, though who can say what Beast Boy will be like once they leave the church?….

This chapter came out more smoothly than I expected which was nice….ok, I'll stop with the boring comments now.

Who has caused the breakout at the city jail? How will Beast Boy react under the additional pressure? All in future chapters!


	13. Chapter 13: Breakout and Breakthrough

A/N: Wow, wow, and wow. I know I had my breaks between updates but wasn't this a long one?! So, as I'm sure you have gathered, updates are going to be much more spaced out. Like I said before, I do have a good portion of this story planned out, so it's not for lack of ideas, but lack of time. I'll try to keep from having such a long break as this one between updates though, because this was a little ridiculous...

Disclaimer: Nothing here is being written for profit, all characters are under owndership of DC Comics, so please don't sue me.

Chapter 13: Breakout and Breakthrough

Robin's eyes slid between them, reading too far into their expressions for Raven's liking. "Can you make it out here in-"

"Already gone," Raven said drily.

"Wait, wha-" But that was all Beast Boy managed to get out before a claw of Raven's dark energy seized him around the waist and they were gone in a whirlpool of darkness. Raven aimed her presence towards Robin's, tracing his location through their link. An instant later, they materialized in front of the other Titans on the front step of the city jail.

Beast Boy's knees gave out beside her but she did not dare to look at the green boy. Not after what had just happened. She tried to force back a flush and regain her bearing. Now is hardly the time. Robin was just flipping his comm unit shut, and Starfire was standing beside him, her hand on her elbow in an uncharacteristic display of nervousness. Cyborg had one of his many scanners open, and was typing something into his arm keypad.

"Anything, Cyborg?" Robin asked.

The cyberkinetic teen sighed in frustration. "Nothin', man. I can get the video feed from thirty minutes until all communication was lost, and then it goes dead. Just…static. I've been trying to get the cameras restarted again, but I can't get through."

"What about the police force?" Starfire asked. "Can they tell us nothing?"

Robin suddenly seemed….sheepish. "They were recalled to Jump. Mayor's policies. He doesn't want the criminals in the city."

Raven snorted. "The escapees can hardly come near the city if he'd set up a quarantine in the first place."

"Guess it's back to good old fashioned reconnaissance," Robin said, punching a fist into an open palm, and pushing aside the issue. Raven resisted the urge to roll her eyes but she was secretly pleased. Robin seemed….back to normal, to say the least.

"Need a ride?" she asked, cocking a brow.

Cyborg looked at her. "There's always my baby."

"Can your baby travel sixty miles in the blink of an eye?" She smirked. "I didn't think so. Let me know when you get that upgrade though." He grumbled under his breath but she didn't catch the words.

"That's great and all," she heard a familiar panting voice say, "but can we take it easy this time?" She turned her head to view Beast Boy, bent over, gasping for breath. He was covered in sweat.

A brief spasm of guilt went through her. She hadn't meant to whisk him away so insensitively. For some reason, he was always the most affected by her powers; she had sensed it from the instant they had met. Her eyes flickered to his briefly. "Sorry." His gaze threatened to hold her, so she looked away quickly before the moment could surface again. After a second, he straightened. "Good to go, lock and load, ready to rock and roll!" he said with his usual flair and posing.

"Must be," she breathed, then her dark powers engulfed them. This time, though, she focused on sheltering Beast Boy from her energy, and cushioning him from the coldness. As she did, her mind briefly touched his, and a flurry of thoughts, not her own, exploded in her head.

Must get away, so dark, so dark…. wrong, wrong, cannot-cannot-! A wild cacophony of inhuman voices and terrified cries filled her skull with a piercing quality. She almost lost her focus and dropped the Titans and herself out of the air. She withdrew from his mind abruptly and the horrible noise disappeared. Her energy faltered for a moment before she, shaking inwardly, continued on her course.

What was that?

Never in all her contact with Beast Boy, in all her mental closeness (as much as she tried to avoid it) had she ever heard something like….that. She pushed the worry aside. There were better times to deal with this.

Still, why now? Why did everything have to go wrong now?

She knew the answer to that question before she even thought of it.

She focused on their destination, looking for any threats.

The county jail unlike the city jail was completely isolated, smack in the middle of a desert like terrain, sixty miles south of Jump itself. And its sole purpose was to hold Jump's famous "psychopath" villains—Overload, Plasmus, Dr. Light, Mad Mod, among countless others. This way if a jailbreak occurred the criminals would be isolated from the city.

She frowned. There weren't any threats to speak of, in fact there wasn't any emotion whatsoever flowing from this place. And that meant that there were no people. Which was far from what Raven was expecting. Generally, any prisoner gone escapee tried to put as much distance between himself and the jail as possible, and speed meant light weight, so no hostages. They knew that even one escapee would send half the state's police force as well as the Titans to investigate, and that meant making a quick getaway. Unless they killed all the guards?...

Raven threw a shield around their destination as they materialized, her dark energy spitting them out from its depths as they reappeared in a heavy stifling darkness somewhere inside the jail. Raven's dark energy threw off the only light, a strange grayish light that just made the darkness more tangible. She could feel the other Titans looking around, trying to see through her shield, and Cyborg's scan of the jail only confirmed what she already knew: it was empty.

"I'm getting' nothing, Rob," Cyborg confirmed after a moment and she warily let her shield down. A sickly greenish light poured over them as Starfire lifted her hands glowing with her starbolts to provide them with some light. It was better than the bare light Raven's energy threw off, but things seemed warped and twisted somehow. Now Raven could dimly see where they were; she caught the glint of metal jail bars, all rising up for three levels of cells.

"Cyborg, can you give us some more light?" Robin asked.

"Sure thing." A moment later a light swiveled up from Cyborg's shoulder sending a white beam slicing through the darkness. Raven took in her surroundings, squinting a little in the sudden brightness. Empty, all right.

"What about the upper levels?" Robin asked, turning his masked face upwards. Cyborg aimed his beam up and it bounced off the ceiling; other than the glittering bars they couldn't see much of the cells, but Raven already knew.

"They're empty, Robin," she said softly.

"Sure, looks like it," Cyborg commented.

Something flitted in the corner of her vision, green jagged wings flapping in a blur. An instant later Beast Boy appeared in a crouch before them, shaking his head. "Nothing up there."

"So we've got all the county's criminals out on the loose, and no sign of the guards," Robin remarked, his mask narrowing. "Alright, team, split up. Cyborg, Starfire and I will search the lower levels. Cyborg can you get us a scan of this-"

"I've already got the blueprints downloaded into my mainframe," Cyborg said, tapping something into the keypad on his arm, the cyan circuits glowing in response to his input.

"Good." Robin's eyes slid over to Raven and Beast Boy and she crossed her arms automatically. "Raven, you and Beast Boy check the upper levels. Keep an eye out for the guards and any sign of how this could have happened." Raven nodded curtly. She didn't like the way Robin had been pairing them up of late but in truth she needed to be by Beast Boy's side, especially after the voices she had heard in his mind. Not to mention the fact that he was the only one who knew about Satan, and therefore the most susceptible to any attacks, mental or physical.

She didn't even offer to bring him up to the second level, she just floated up to the next line of cells. Beast Boy followed as a bat, before morphing into his human form before her.

"So….where are we going?" he asked lamely, in that typically awkward Beast Boy way of breaking the silence. Actually, she probably couldn't blame all the awkwardness on him; this whole situation, this sudden blossoming of strange….feelings, responses which had never before existed…..she had her fair part in this too.

Without Cyborg's light she couldn't see as well, but she had a vague shadowy outline, and she was sure Beast Boy had better. Still, she didn't just plan to walk around blindly, bumping into things. "Hold on," she said.

She crossed her legs, and floated in midair, preparing her soulself. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" She raced out of her body, horribly vulnerable and exposed, and pushed her soul self along the hallways, through rooms, cells, and doors, trying to get an idea of the general layout of the place. A moment later, she opened her eyes. "This way," she said, letting her cloak fall over her shoulders. She glided forward, and she could feel Beast Boy's presence at her side, sometimes as a dog with his wet snuffling and whining, sometimes a bat by the soft whisper of his wings. He finally settled on a firefly, his rear giving off a green light not unlike Starfire's starbolts.

Though she was observing her surroundings, and constantly probing the area mentally to see if she felt the minds of the guards (or criminals)….she couldn't help but study Beast Boy. Physically he seemed fine, quite able to morph and function. Mentally, though…That could be another issue entirely. Still, she wasn't about to intentionally breach his privacy and invade his mind again. The monks of Azarath had beaten into her (not literally, of course) that the minds of others were not tools to be trifled with or taken lightly; they were sacred and only to be touched in the most dire of situations. And he's acting so….normal. Normal for him, at any rate.

Beast Boy's green firefly light illuminated the only room down the hallway of cells, and Raven raised a hand encased by a silvery white light. After a moment Beast Boy shifted back into his human form. "Looks like a guard room," Raven drawled, though she couldn't help but feel uneasy. A large console spread out before them, a mug of coffee on top of it, the chairs slightly skewed, the many television screens black and hissing with static. Nothing. No grisly remains, no blood, really no sign of a struggle. Well, maybe they all just walked out the front door, she thought, then realized that that was always an option. But the guards…?

Beast Boy was pressing buttons on the console and on a normal day Raven knew she would be yelling at him to stop it, because it was so childish and wasn't going to make anything work, but what did she know? Maybe Cyborg could retrieve some sort of info from this console; then again, if he hadn't been able to in the first place, then maybe there really was nothing better to do but press all the buttons. She pursed her lips, and was about to say something when her communicator chirped. She unhooked it from her belt and flipped it open to find herself face to face with a faint image of Robin.

"Anything, Raven?" he asked briskly.

"Nothing here," she replied, sliding her eyes up to Beast Boy briefly. He was looking at her intensely so she looked away. "Just some prison cells, and an empty guard room."

"I want us to regroup here where we first teleported in."

"Did you find something?"

"Just regroup," he said, his voice wary. The screen went blank. "Typical Robin, lot's of melodrama," Beast Boy offered with a half smile, awkwardness still pouring out of him.

"Did you get all that?" she asked him and his face fell. He nodded curtly and became an owl before she could say anything more. She sighed and let the light die from her hand before following him out. After traveling back down the hall in silence, she floated down to where the other Titans were waiting.

"Still can't get anythin', man," Cyborg was saying in frustration. "Whoever shut this place down shut it down good, and it could take me a good while to get it running, if at all."

"Does this not seem to be the work of the Gizmo?" Starfire suggested, her eyes glowing faintly green.

"Sure does," Cyborg huffed exasperatedly.

"Except that that's not possible," Robin cut in. He was pacing. "They've got Gizmo locked up tight in juvenile penitentiary. I checked before we came here."

"That don't mean he can't build a piece of software and send it to whoever was in charge of this breakout," Cyborg said.

"He hasn't had any access to any technology whatsoever and last I checked he was cursing out the guards in his padded cell. For now, I'm going to discount that theory. Besides, even if Gizmo did destroy the security system, somebody else masterminded this, somebody with a bigger plan…."

Don't say it, Robin, Raven groaned in her mind. Although he was probably right, she did not want to hear their leader start up again on his Slade obsession.

"Plus, we still don't know what happened to the guards," Robin continued, wisely choosing not to specify his guesses on the mastermind. "They can't just have disappeared-"

"Unless they're all dead," Beast Boy commented darkly. That was unexpected from him, but he had fixed his eyes to the ground, his mouth a grim slash. "And that's probably why Raven can't find them with her powers and I-"

That was when she felt it. She blinked. There it was again, appearing faintly for an instant, the briefest twitch against her empathy. "Be quiet." The other Titans immediately hushed, looking at her expectantly. She took a deep breath and widened her empathy, letting it spread out in a pool around them and extend past the jail walls, out into the desert. After a moment she pinpointed it. A cloud of tangled emotions—confusion, fear, pain…the guards, she was sure of it. Except…except…she frowned. "I've found the guards," she announced quietly, letting her empathy drain back into her.

"Where? We searched the whole place and I've got the blueprints from the city itself unless there's some secret chamber-" Cyborg said.

"Not a chamber," she cut in. "Nearly fifty feet below us. I don't why they're there, or how they're still alive, but it's some kind of…cave." She felt the stares of four pairs of wide startled eyes.

"Can you get us down there?" Robin asked.

"Yes," she stated slowly, tasting the implications of such an action. Beast Boy had already had some sort of panic attack after contact with her powers which she still hadn't found the root of, or solved, and Robin wanted her to move them all down beneath the ground. It would take at the most a half a second, but that could be all it took for him to snap, or for whatever those voices were to have a more powerful response…She looked at him in surprise as he knelt, head bowed, fist pressed into the ground.

"Ready….energize!" he said in a dramatic movie theater voice, snapping his head back. " C'mon Rae, you've never seen Star Trek before?" he asked and laughed. She frowned at him. The jokes, the laugh….they seemed vacant and strangely forced. It was very slight and she wouldn't have noticed it at all if she didn't know him so well, but she did. And he was terrified and trying to hide it. That was what the jokes were about, all part of the façade. The look in his eyes confirmed her thoughts and a silent understanding passed to her.

"We should keep at least two of us up here," she suggested blandly, cutting into Cyborg and Robin's discussion about possible ways to get the power up through the system again. "Just in case we're being setup or it's a trap."

Robin considered this briefly. "Alright, Starfire, and Beast Boy, stay here and keep watch. Raven, Cyborg and I will retrieve the guards and see if we can pick up any clues from below." A silent thanks flowed from Beast Boy to her. She wasn't trying to manipulate Robin, but this was exactly what she had expected from him, to leave the one he wanted to throw into the least danger behind, as well as the one he had the least confidence in. She knew that Robin wasn't stupid, though, either; he hadn't been the sidekick to the "World's Greatest Detective" for nothing, and he would probably ask for an explanation of sorts later, but she wasn't one to share secrets that weren't hers to tell and as far as she knew this was just Beast Boy's personal issue with her powers.

She gathered her dark power, letting it envelope the three of them. Her white eyes met Beast Boy's, his gaze stricken with worry and resentment and relief all at the same time. The former and the latter were the only emotions she understood; what did he resent about this situation? What did he regret? She didn't have any time to dwell on it as she allowed her energy to coalesce and carry them down to where the guards' emotions stirred. After a moment they reformed, again in total darkness, but this time, Raven did not let her energy come back, even after Cyborg's shoulder light came on, confirming that they were indeed in a cave, just in case something popped out at them, or this cave proved to be unstable.

Robin walked cautiously over to a set of bundles propped on the ground: the guards, their mouths taped up, wrists and ankles bound, lying in a terrified heap. Raven could see the whites of their eyes as their irises flickered frantically back and forth, but she didn't sense any warning coming from them which meant that this was not a trap after all. Still….

Robin removed a birdarang from his belt and began cutting the ropes off of the guards, moving quickly but efficiently. The instant he freed the first one's gag the guard started babbling: "We didn't see it coming, nothing, nothing at all, but then the security just failed, and everything went wrong, and then-" the man's eyes bulged-"he was here, and it was so dark, so, so dark-" Suddenly the man caught sight of Raven and his gaze fixed on her upraised hand glowing with black energy. He whimpered and fell silent.

Raven let the energy die from her hand and moved away from the guards before they could say anything else. She didn't want to hear anything about her darkness or creepiness right now. She moved over to Cyborg who was circling the perimeter of the cave, though she kept her gaze on Robin. "You're thinking about something."

"I would have to be stupid not to be," he said. "Actually I just did a quick scan of this area; scanners confirmed that it's closed off. No tunnels. Not even some hollow points. Just solid rock."

"So our escapees didn't get in and out this way," she murmured, watching as Robin cut the bindings off of two more guards. The men huddled on the floor or slumped together but there was a unified look to them, a blank look in their eyes.

"Yet they somehow managed to dump our prison guards into this cave and get back out without leaving a disturbance," Cyborg mused. "Plus, there's the fact that this cave shouldn't even exist."

Something tightened in Raven's belly. "What do you mean?"

"Look at the walls," he explained, flashing his light along the cave. "Awfully smooth…and dry. Most natural caves are formed by water, at least, ones which are set in such a solid foundation as this. And with all the pressure, even with an earthquake, it can't have formed-" He trailed off but it didn't matter because she had already come to the conclusion.

"Terra", she growled. The backwash the wave of pain, and hatred, and fury whiplashed over her, the bitter taste of betrayal in her mouth, the feeling of wrong at the trust everyone had had to earn, but which Terra had so easily been given, trampled, and torn to shreds…it all came back. The strength of these feelings surprised her. Time could heal many wounds, but not this one.

"Don't go jumping to conclusions," Robin said, suddenly, his hand on her shoulder. She could sense his attempt to comfort her. "We don't know that. We don't know anything. Terra's hardly the only one with the ability to do something like this."

"No, but she's the most likely," she muttered darkly.

"We're just going to have to leave this mystery for later," Robin said, back in leader mode. "We need to take the guards back up and start getting a move on rounding up these escapees. A few of the guards are scared out of their wits but we should be able to get enough information from the rest to start tracking them down-"

"No need, Robin," Cyborg interrupted, flipping open a panel on his arm to reveal Beast Boy's face. "Already found one."

TTT

It was Plasmus alright, doing what Plasmus did best—wrecking downtown.

Raven looked upon the reddish monster as he chugged down a few hundred gallons of toxic waste from an overturned eighteen wheeler in downtown Jump. At the very least, Plasmus was predictable; his form required this to keep him going, and to grow stronger and there weren't a whole lot of places where one could find radioactive waste. At the same time, he was so bestial and instinct driven that fighting him took….a lot of work.

I think that you underestimate a bit, my dear, came Satan's silken voice in her ears. Raven's powers crumpled a nearby lightpole like a soda can before she controlled her surprise and fear.

What are you doing here? she spat out, her teeth gritted. When she blinked she could see his form in the darkness of her eyelids, sitting casually on his invisible chair, his foot resting on his knee.

I had a question, he stated innocently. She opened her eyes, hoping that he would disappear but his voice resonated in her head, inescapable.

Go away. She launched herself upwards, cloak rippling, dark energy surrounding her hands. She knew that he wouldn't leave by her will but she was hoping that by turning her focus elsewhere he would fade from her mind. Of course, nothing had changed. Wishing still never got her anywhere.

You are not much of a host are you? She ignored him and using her powers ripped a light pole from the sidewalk to swing into Plasmus's head like a baseball bat. Unexpectedly, he turned and caught the pole in his hands. Uh oh. Her eyes widened as his head reared back and he belched a noxious spray of acid in her direction. She dodged it quickly but was unprepared for the light pole which followed, rotating end over end like a giant boomerang. She just barely managed to raise a weak shield when the pole slammed into her shield, shattering it. Then it slammed into her. At least it was at a considerably slower speed than before.

It still hurt.

She fell the last few feet and plowed into the ground, her breath pressed out of her lungs in a low oof.

I'd give that a 7 on the fall scale. Honestly, I've seen so many better crash landings, he remarked. Now that her eyes were closed, she could see him there clearly, fedora hat in hand as he looked at her pleadingly. She sat up with a groan, holding her head and he disappeared from her view as the real world reappeared.

Why are you here now? she demanded scathingly. This couldn't wait? She stood carefully, the rush of blood from her head making her vision fuzzy for an instant. Her eyes focused on the battle before them. Someone had managed to open up a fire hydrant and the spray of water was disorienting Plasmus….somewhat. A glow of green announced Starfire's presence and her starbolts cut through Plasmus like butter. Unfortunately, the radioactive monster was already reforming and Raven could end it now, if she could just calm herself enough to use her soul-self-

We-ell I tried last night, came his voice, disrupting her concentration. But you were so intent on avoiding me that I had to take this into our daytime activities.

Excellent, she replied thoughtlessly, drifting upwards. If she could get closer her control would be better and more precise and she'd be able to do her work without too great an interruption-

RAVEN! She lost all concentration as his voice barked out at her, ringing in her head shrilly. She dropped a few feet before she managed to catch herself. He doesn't want me to do this, she realized. Which was all the more inspiration to do it—and quickly.

What do you want? she demanded, while deflecting a truck Plasmus had just thrown at Cyborg with a sheet of black energy. She took advantage of his moment's pause and, lifting a car carefully with her powers, tossed it at the monster. It smashed across his back and forced him to stumble before he whirled on her.

You never answered the Beast Boy question, came his reply just as Plasmus belched a stream of reddish goo. Gritting her teeth, she jerked her body to the side to dodge the burst of acid.

You never asked any Beast Boy question, she growled.

Hm, I'm sure I did. No matter though. I'm asking it now.

Ask away, she said caustically, shooting energy out of her hands to shock Plasmus. He fell to a knee for an instant, reddish slime smoking, before he regained his footing. IN the momentary lull, a green triceratops smashed into the monster's side, sending him flying into a nearby building in a splatter. For a moment she could see a thin man amidst the slime then she soared upwards above the building tops, as a trail of reddish goo raced along the sidewalk, reforming into Plasmus. If she couldn't finish this herself she would carefully watch the Titans from above. This could be a ploy to distract her, and make her lose sight of her friends' safety. She circled overhead, watching the Titans, blocking Plasmus's acid, taking extra care to protect them.

Come now, you know what question I am referring to. When she said nothing, he sighed gustily. You really are going to make me ask it, aren't you? The yes was unspoken. She honestly couldn't have cared less what he wanted to ask her, she just wanted him to get it over with so she could finish this fight and remove her friends from danger. Very well. What is the nature of the relationship between you and BB?

Friends, she replied, barely paying attention to him. She lifted a firetruck out of Plasmus's hands before the villain knew what she had done. In his moment of confusion, her friends rushed forward, a mixture of starbolts, explosive discs, and sonic cannon shrouding the villain in smoke and forcing him back. Are you done?

My, you are irritated. Did I touch a nerve? A vein twitched in Raven's forehead. Do you think I'm coming too often? She did not feel the need to answer. Heh, you call this often? I could pester you whenever I feel like it, at every waking hour, or sleep…practically 24/7 without any exhaustion on my part. Of course, what good would that do? I would just drive you over the edge, and you would be growling at me incoherently….

Raven lifted the same fire truck she had snatched from Plasmus with a cry of "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" She had one good shot to do this right and hit him hard enough to knock him out. As long as Plasmus's host was asleep, Plasmus could not exist.

Although, I must admit, he continued, though his words were no more than a senseless babble to her, I have always wanted to meet your demon. You always keep her locked up and that isn't healthy at all, and not really fair either. In the instant when she blinked, she could see him leaning forward, his eyes squinted as if trying to look past a fog. And why, look, you keep everyone else locked up too, caged, like animals! Happy, Timid, Brave…so many lovely colors. Well, let me offer you...

There was her perfect moment. She gathered all her energy into one strike and with a harsh cry of "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos" a blast of white energy slammed into the truck driving it forward until it was blur of red.

…a breakthrough…

Something changed.

The firetruck rammed into Plasmus's side squarely, and there was a splatter of goo coating the whole block and a sleeping man lying on the pavement, his thin chest heaving with rapid breaths. Robin turned around, a smear of purple marring his smile. "Nice work, Ra-" Then he saw her face. "Woo, Rae, you da bomb!" Beast Boy cried, reforming and pumping his fist into the air, before he too caught sight of Raven's face. "Rae?" Her widened eyes held all her unleashed horror and the blood drained from her face. She staggered in midair, and then plummeted from the air like a stone. "RAVEN!" she heard someone cry, and there was a swooping sound as someone caught her.

Then she was pushed over the edge as a flood of emotions overwhelmed her.

Red, orange, green, pink, and gray consumed her by turns, filling her vision with their blotchy colors. Her powers responded to her emotions and now there was more emotion than she could ever handle. Somehow he had destroyed the very walls she had built to control them, and now she had nothing, absolutely nothing-

A ripple of dark energy lashed out against a nearby building, cracking the pavement and shattering an entire floor of windows. A bubble of power swelled in her, ready to burst, painfully expanding against the confines she had set. Too much power.

She felt someone set her on the ground gently, and she rolled onto her stomach, trying to force the person away. The wind howled and screamed around her in a tornado of energy.

"Friend, what is happening? What is wrong?" someone asked.

"Get them out," she muttered through gritted teeth, doubled over.

"Raven," came Beast Boy's gentle voice, pleading. He tugged at her arm, trying to help her to her feet. He managed to pull her halfway before she ripped her arm out of his grip and fell to her knees.

She bowed her head. "No. Get them out. Get all the civilians out."

He must've listened because she lost all sense of him.

She had to contain this. This was what Slade had been mocking her about, for her full potential was immense but uncontrollable. She threw up walls in vain, but the rolling storm of emotions and confusion shattered them like some unstoppable juggernaut. She had no defense against herself.

"Don't you have something to stop the Beast?" she heard Robin's voice swim out towards her lethargically in her desperate battle.

"No, it's too great a dose, and it would kill her for sure. Plus, I don't even know how it will react with her chemistry-"

The flashes of color came together, forming a blankness before her vision and a shrill ringing in her ears drowned out all other noise. The walls were gone, gone, gone and she couldn't get them back, she didn't know how to-

She was not anger. Rage was not taking over. She was everything, every color, every flicker of emotion, every feeling which brushed the vast pool of energy which was her powers. She was worse than a child, a thousand times worse, for no child, no person could feel so many things at one time…could they? A grinding ripping sound surrounded her, and the ground shook in sharp jerks and tremors. She squeezed her eyes shut until it was painful, and dug her fingers into the asphalt, trying to rebuild the control and discipline it had taken sixteen years to form. When she shut her eyes, she could see him behind her lids, glaring eyes looming far above her in the blackness. Her breathing was uncontrolled, thoughts of meditation lost as she choked in breath. She pushed against the swollen mass of energy, but her efforts did not dent its progress as it expanded, extending past her own capacities.

That was when the pain began, deep shooting pains in her skull. She took a shuddery breath.

Can't let-my friends-would kill them.

She felt an arm around her shoulders.

"Raven, just hang in there," Beast Boy murmured soothingly in her ear, his voice unnaturally sharp for an instant.

"Go-a-way," she said in a quivering voice, and her fingers scrabbled for a hold in the concrete until they were raw, as if by somehow gripping it she could regain control of her powers and bring them back under her rein.

She couldn't understand a word of what he was saying but he was talking, his familiar voice clear despite her incognizance. She snatched at pieces of his voice as if they were the life preservers, but each one sank, and she was drowning, drowning again.

So much energy. Twisting, writhing, pulling, tugging, begging to be freed.

"Get away," she growled, panting for breath. She pulled her hands off the ground with visible effort and reached to where she felt him and pushed hard against his chest until he fell away. "Get away from me now, before-"she groaned briefly at the pressure on her skull which compressed her thoughts- "before-I hurt you!" She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think, all that she knew was that she needed to be isolated.

She would never forgive herself if she hurt them.

Robin's commanding voice accused her. "How do we reverse this? What is happening?"

"You-can't," she gasped. "Only-I-can. Get away now." The demon in her slipped free from her hold. He hadn't trusted her then and he didn't trust her now! She turned her head sharply and released a feral snarl, anger holding her for a moment in a crimson grip. "Get away!" Her voice resonated with her darker half, layered in hellish power. Then rage cycled back underneath the other emotions, and she was free from its hold. But not from her other emotions.

Intense pressure built more steeply within her but she had to contain it. But it was uncontrollable, irrepressible, uncontainable; it was wild, untamed, hungering for a freedom which she had never granted… She threw back her head and screamed as her bones splintered, as her muscles melted, as acid ran through her veins. It was sheer agony, and there was no life, no death, just pain painted in vivid blotches of red across her vision, pain thrumming in her ears with a distant roar. It felt like her skin was splitting along its seams to release the horrible pulsing energy that burned in her with every heartbeat.

I want to die. It was a horrible thought, but so suddenly true. She would accept death, just to escape the pain. Make it stop. Make it stop!

Color raced upwards, and she heard an ethereal scream like that of a bird. Someone else was screaming, screaming in a hoarse rough voice a horrible pain-filled cry. Lights flickered and flashed overhead like black and white fireworks, and the pressure of her powers fled like a fleeting memory.

She slumped over and did not get up.

A/N: And so Satan involves himself directly for the first time! And of course Raven pays the price. And how are the Titans going to deal with all the criminals out and on the loose? Am I really bringing Terra back? I hope that some of you are still with me, and if you don't entirely hate my guts by now, that you will post a little itty bitty review to make my day. Also, thanks to pegasister71 for getting me back on track and helping me to gain momentum again in this story. Till the next chapter!


	14. Chapter 14: Vessel

A/N: I'm not writing this because I just want you to get on and read rather than listen to me blab and make excuses.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, DC Comics does, and I also do not own Star Trek (previous chapter) or Laffy Taffy jokes.

Chapter 14: Vessel  
>If Raven could have remembered what it felt like to be in her mother's womb, she would have compared it to this. A heavy darkness surrounded her, and she had no sense of herself, no sense of her body. She just was. A floating particle. A speck of insignificance. A nobody in a pool of nothingness. A memory of pain flickered through her, but without her body she couldn't feel it. She drifted in limbo, and she felt no urge to awaken. It was so nice here, untouched and untroubled by her powers or Satan or her own guilt….a place where she could rest.<p>

"-Beast Boy hung around for a while," came Cyborg's voice, and his words sounded slow and stretched out to her lost ears. "Gotta feel sorry for the little guy; he can smell the blood and I've swilled this place out with bleach a hundred times, but he can still smell it."

"How is she?"

"You're asking me? She's in a healing trance which is a good sign. As for the rest, I don't know. Anatomically she's the same but heck she has four eyes and I don't even know about it, being half..." he treaded around the word and there was an awkward pause before he continued. "Her body temperature's higher than the norm but that may just be the way she is. I don't know Rob. Between Starfire, Beast Boy, and her, the only people who I can actually treat are you and myself...I'm not much of a doctor."

There was the rattle of keys. "Slightly elevated pulse for humans but the same as last time I checked, temperature at a nice even 100.1 F, which may or may not be fever, no broken bones...she should be fine, but mentally, I can't say. With her powers and that much energy…it can't be good for her mind."

"Do you have any ideas?"

Cyborg's sigh seemed louder and gustier than normal. "I don't know. My scanners were off the charts. She could have easily caused a 9.0 earthquake or larger. I'm guessing, but I think that she needed some outlet for her powers. As to why they suddenly broke through her like that..." His voice trailed off. "I don't know."

"Maybe it's a phase." Robin sounded doubtful, though. "Like with Starfire's powers. Maybe she's adapting."

"Maybe?" A note of panic, even fear, was discernible to her frozen ears.

"How much power are we talking about?"

"Enough to decimate Jump City, easy. Man, that girl was like a nuclear , I take that back, she was like a nuclear powerhouse in a meltdown. If she couldn't power Jump City for a year or two, I would be surprised." There was an abrupt change in tone as Cyborg seemed to pick up on some sentiment of Robin's. "Why, do you have somethin'?"

"Beyond the adaptation theory? No," the Boy Wonder admitted slowly. "She was fighting Plasmus but I don't see how-" He gave a short sharp sigh and she could imagine him running a gloved hand through his hair in clear frustration. Robin liked things he could deal with, not necessarily tangible things, but things that were logical and that followed natural laws. Her powers did not fit that category and he was, as always when concerning such things, at a loss for what to do. "There didn't seem to be any outside forces that caused this so it must have been something internal but what or why it manifested itself then….I guess the only one who can really answer that is Raven."

Something seemed to jar the reality she was in at her name, sending out ripples across the void. The sounds from the medbay dwindled sharply, though she could still hear Robin say, "I'm going to see what I can look up…." His footsteps faded, followed by the pneumatic hiss of the medbay door. The peace which had enveloped her became icy, like she was floating in some distant corner of space. Raven pushed against the sluggishness which lay upon her like a heavy cloth. Where was she? Cyborg had said that she was in a healing trance, but healing trances left her entirely unconscious, unable to think or feel. Yet here she was doing both and so far removed from her body that she had no awareness of her limbs.

A distant memory of pain flashed through the black, flickering crimson and orange like a flame. She had withdrawn far, far from the pain, further than she normally would have, withdrawn far….into herself? Or into some other dimension, some place where the physical did not exist? That would explain why she felt so far from her body, but healing or not, this was too far.

What she had left behind was all that tied her to Earth. And now it was a vessel, helpless and empty—

A heartbeat of panic pulsed through the void and she began to thrash wildly in the darkness. Her body was useless to her command, and open to any other wandering spirits. Oh Azar, no! she begged silently. Satan, no any demon could enter it and use it like a puppet to trick and maim her friends…and she wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. She continued to struggle wildly, like a fish out of water trying to free itself from a net. But that would do her no good. She felt the sounds of the medbay—the steady beep of the heart monitor, the metallic clank of Cyborg's footsteps—growing fuzzy and indistinct, as if drowned out by static.

She took a few deep breaths (well, at least metaphorically she did, seeing as there was no body for her to take breaths with) and stopped struggling. That was not the way back. The way back required the calm of a meditative state. Assuming that there was any way to find herself.

But she had been able to hear her friends' voices, albeit weakly. So there was still some strand, no matter how thin or easily breakable, connecting her to her physical form. And that was some reassurance.

Her mind focused itself to a keen edge, burning with her intent. She imagined herself filling the void of her physical form; she imagined life. She began with a heartbeat. She envisioned it there at her core, where she would feel her chest, throbbing at a steady rhythm. And she listened, focusing on every sound which thrummed through the void, trying to trace it back to its source, and find the link between her and her body. She would not let harm come to them.

It began with pain. Tingling pinpricks. White hot points of fire danced along her nerves. She gasped, and thought she felt some physical response, like a ghost at her center mimicking her heaving ribcage. She had been numb for so long, the sounds crashed into her ears suddenly, like someone was messing with the stereo volume, first unbearably loud, then a soft whisper, and again growing in volume. The whisper of the bed sheets against her delicate skin felt raw and rough.  
>She could have cried with relief, had she been anyone other than Raven. Her body was empty, welcoming her back in. She could sense no uninvited presences hanging over her. She was safe. And so were they.<p>

Part of her clung to the void, screaming, clawing, writhing in rebellion, like a child throwing a tantrum. Then she was sucked rudely out and returned to her own body. She clenched her jaw tightly and fire danced along her chin. There had been worse pains than this and if she had to fight to regain ownership of what was hers then so be it. She couldn't take the risk that someone would hijack her body because she was tired. The Titans were all that she had. They were all that mattered.  
>She tried to move her fingers and a jolt coursed up through the nerves in her arms, but she could move them. Just barely. Baby steps, she told herself. One step at a time. She gritted her teeth. At this point she lacked the patience which she had gained through years of meditation, and it was not in her nature to be patient….especially….not….now.<p>

Baby steps. Just like she had started with her powers. Start small. She remembered working hard on lifting one pebble smoothly off the ground. It had exploded so often and that had upset her beyond belief and filled her with a child's frustration borne from her inability to grasp why she could not do such a simple thing.

She clenched and unclenched one hand, snarling low in her throat at the pain tingling along her nerves, and the noise set off another jolt which burned in her lungs.

"Rae?" she heard Cyborg's concerned voice attack her, unbearably loud and grating. She tried to unglue her jaw and use her mouth to form words, but all that came out of her was a low groan. "Rae, are you alright?" he asked firmly. All that she could manage was an unintelligible hiss, followed by sharp intake of breath as her lungs felt like they were filled with liquid fire. She waited a moment for the pain to subside, and then began moving the fingers of her other hand. It was clumsy movement, and she lacked finesse and finer motor control; all that she could determine was whether her fingers should move or not. But it was something.

"Rae, I need to know if you're alright, or if you're in pain," Cyborg said calmly. She tried to reach out with her powers, but if she wasn't ready for her body she certainly wasn't ready for her powers and they crumbled before they could leave her. "I can give you something for the pain if you need it," he offered slowly, probably just talking for the sake of talking.

She couldn't yet communicate with him, but she had more pressing matters to attend to. Get your eyes open, she snarled at herself. She could feel her eyelids flickering rapidly, but she couldn't quite manage to force them open.  
>"Beast Boy's been in an' outta here quite a bit," she heard Cyborg comment calmly, moving between her bed and somewhere else. She heard a few beeps as he inputted something into one of the many monitors for regulating heartbeat, brain activity, and heat. The slow tread of his footsteps clanged loudly and then he laid a hand on her arm.<p>

She cried out before she could stop herself. Deep bone-rending pain ripped through her and she pulled away from him, twisting her body off of the gurney and onto the floor. She huddled there on all fours, and dry-retched at the suddenness of every sense flooding her body: the vertigo, and the agony of his touch, as if a handprint had burned itself into her arm.

Her powers were enhanced by touch and his hand on her arm, though robotic, brought to life her powers with an abrupt jerk as if they'd been electrocuted. And the physical contact of another human brought her conscience flooding into her body before her body was prepared to receive it.

Her eyes focused on the swaying tile beneath her, dim beneath her shadow, yet blindingly bright to her sensitive eyes.

"Raven!" she heard Cyborg's cry of concern. His hands hovered over her frame in hesitation.

"Don't-touch," she managed to gasp out, focusing on stilling her quivering breath. At this point his touch probably couldn't hurt her but she wasn't willing to take any chances. She took a few deep breaths and then nodded. "I'm alright." Her voice sounded raw and uncertain. He put a hand underneath her elbow to help her get to her feet. "I'm not incapacitated or elderly, Cyborg," she said shakily as she got to her feet, then winced. She had meant to sound playful, not biting. As usual it came out wrong.

"Great," he said and she couldn't miss the edge of sarcasm. But he dropped his hands and crossed his arms. His eyes, the robotic one glaring crimson and the other glaring even more, took her in. His voice was clipped. "Now sit."  
>Surprised at the command in his tone, she leaned against the gurney and then pushed herself up onto it at the fierceness of his glare. "Lemme see your hand," he ordered, holding his out palm up.<p>

"Cyborg this is an unnecessary waste of time-"

"Okay, you're right," he said stepping away from her. An impish look glinted in his human eye, but she could sense the frustration and anger behind it. "Just don't expect to be back in the field for a while," he added casually.

"You can't stop me," she said, giving him the usual threatening look like she was just daring him to make her day.

"I think I can," he said smugly. "You can't fight with the team until Robin gives his permission," he said, ticking off the reasons on his fingers "-Robin won't give his permission if you're not cleared from medbay-" he smirked at her "and you're not cleared from medbay 'til I say so."

"Fine, let's get this over with," she snapped. Cyborg grinned to himself. Robin and his obsessive rules.

He pressed two large fingers to her wrist to check her pulse. Then he placed her palm in his so that their fingers lined up. "Hmmm, temperature lines up with your past averages…." His gray human eye lifted to hers. "Can you feel my hand on yours?" She nodded sharply.

"So tell me," he said, withdrawing from her, and moving to one of the back tables, "what was that fit just now about?"

"Adjustment," came her reply. He didn't say anything but she could feel a tension growing between them. She shifted to her empathic sense and winced. It seemed that she was in for a tongue lashing from just about everyone.

"Raven," he said seriously, his voice on the verge of shouting, "everyone's worried the hell outta their minds for you. The least you can do is explain what's going on, if you know."

"I-I went too far," she said, looking anywhere but at him. He was right, but the sentiment made her angry. Here they were worrying about her when they really needed to be looking out for themselves! "Normally I withdraw far into myself to complete the healing trance but this time…" she trailed off uncomfortably.

"You went somewhere else?" he asked calmly. She could sense him taking deep breaths mentally, keeping his anger in check. She offered no explanation, mostly because she didn't really know. "Listen, Rae, I'm not Rob; if you've got your own issues, I get it. I just wanna make sure everything's okay." He hesitated. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," she growled.

"Whoa," he said, putting up his hands. "Chill, girl. I'm jus' checking. No more daddy issues?" She shook her head in an exaggerated fashion. No, it wasn't Rage. It wasn't Trigon. It was only a thousand times worse. Always family with her. Albeit extremely extended demonic family. She let out a harsh laugh which sounded like a bark but her eyes were sad. "No more doomsday stuff either right?" Again she shook her head. "I's just—first you trash your room, then we get the Slade and Robin fiasco, everyone breaks outta jail, and you put the cherry on top by losing control of your powers. Plus BB's acting weird, even for him…" He shook his head. "Things feel strange, Rae. Unbalanced."

She blinked at his perceptiveness. "Open wide," he said almost automatically. She gave him a look that said "There is no way you are getting me to do something that undignified". He sweatdropped and changed tactics. "I'm just gonna look in your eye, 'kay?" He shined some light in her eye, watching the pupil dilate, tested her knee reflex when she wasn't ready, and then stood back and surveyed her. Raven resisted the urge to squirm; she did not appreciate being treated like an errant child and she did not appreciate having her time wasted. If she was like Robin in any way it was in her unwillingness to sit around and be useless.

"What are the doctor's orders?" she asked sarcastically. He didn't say anything so she sighed and said in a deadpan, "You're starting to look like a mother hen with all your clucking about." Still no response. "I guess Beast Boy made a good choice in that last prank." His eye twitched.

"I want one day of bedrest, at least," he said. She started violently and gave him a glare that would have melted through metal like butter. Her mouth opened to protest or say her three word mantra and transport him into some distant dimension but he cut her off.

"No you listen," he said gently but firmly, all traces of teasing gone, "I know somethin' about adjusting, Rae, being who I am. It took me a while to get used to my robotic half, all this automatic analysis and a chip in my head-" he put a finger to his temple "- telling me about my systems 24/7 and everything which is now natural to me. I know that yours is more short term and you are coming back to your own body not to a coupla robotic arms and legs, but I want you to take it easy."

"One day," she stated slowly with emphasis. He nodded and the tension in the room dissipated.

"Beast Boy's got your first shift, jus' in case you have some kinda relapse," Cyborg said calmly. "I'm gonna have a call button set up by your bed, and if you need anythin', or you're losing control just gimme a ring."

She narrowed her eyes, something striking her since waking up. "Why are you telling me about Beast Boy?"

"Just thought you might want to know," he said innocently. Too innocently.

"Cyborg," she threatened softly as she realized where he was going. "Stop."

"The little guy cares for you a lot," Cyborg continued, his gaze focused on his work.

"Stop it," she said a shred of emotion leaking through.

"Stop what?" he asked, looking up at her. His face was completely serious yet there was some annoyance to it.

"Stop playing matchmaker." The words were strangled in her throat, half in her admittance of it. He raised a brow and said seriously, "I don't have to play it, Rae. It's already there."

"He can't—I can't…I don't-" She cut off the senseless babble before she revealed something she would regret—if she hadn't already. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to defuse the situation. Because he's right. The voice in her head came unbidden but there was no more ignoring it. I don't like him, a part of her screamed. What came out instead was, "I don't want to hurt him."  
>Wait, what?! Where had that come from? She closed her eyes and pressed her fingertips to her temples, trying to suppress the clamor of her emotions' voices. There was nothing there, nothing between them.<p>

"I know," he said in low soothing tones. "Just, don't shoot him down when he gets around to it, 'kay?"

She opened her mouth to rebut with something along the lines of "he won't be because there's nothing there" but she felt something inside of her breaking so she swallowed the words. She shakily set her feet on the floor, feeling uncomfortable without her cloak. Walking over to a rack on the wall, she pulled it down and fastened it around her shoulders. She could not meet Cyborg's gaze and thankfully he didn't say anything more. It was becoming uncomfortable, with or without her cloak, and she could practically feel Timid shrieking in her mind. Looking around, she suddenly realized what else was amiss. "Where are the others?"

"Mission. Johnny Rancid and Punk Rocket in one go," Cyborg said from where he was shutting down the machines. "Man, this month's gonna be fun," he noted, shaking his head. "Rounding up a bunch of bad guys; good news is there won't be any training sessions, there's no way Rob will be able to cram those in…."

Raven was only half listening. She still didn't know why she had said that. Why she had said she didn't want to hurt him. Why she hadn't just outright denied it. No, instead she had given a reason for their relationship's nonexistence rather than declaring that it could not exist at all!

It had nothing to do with emotions or feelings or….love, it had to do with closeness, she decided. That was why she had said that. It had to do with her. She wasn't emotionally stable enough to handle a relationship past friendship, but really, the closer he was to her the greater a target he was, and the more the Devil would want to break him. And that was what it came to. Nothing else.

The Titans' chime went off. Her hand moved to her belt out of habit, but it was not her communicator. A thrill of alarm went through her. What if something had happened? She stared at Cyborg, her vision taut as he answered the call. A screen appeared on his arm like a wristwatch TV.

"We're pulling up now," came Robin's voice. "Punk Rocket and Johnny Rancid are going to be in stripes for a while." His voice became more stressed. "Any news about Raven?"

"I don' know, why doncha ask her yourself?" Cyborg said wryly, twisting his arm so that Robin could see her through the camera on his arm.

"Hello, Robin," she said in her usual deadpan. He didn't look too good, but when he saw her some of the worry in his face smoothed over. "We'll be up there soon." The corner of his mouth twitched upwards as she heard an excited eeeeeeeeeee and the next instant Starfire's face was pushed up against the communicator. Then the screen went blank.

"Guess I'd better go meet them," she said her hand on the door.

Cyborg cleared his throat. 'Where do you think you're going, young lady?" he demanded, his arms crossed. "You gave me one day. And one day in bed won't kill ya."

She sighed but crossed the room to her bed and sat on it, her own arms folded.

"Happy?" Cyborg beamed. Her face didn't change but for all her emotional distance, it still mattered to her that they cared and that she knew they cared.

There was a sound like an explosion and the medbay door was almost blown back off its hinges as Starfire flew in, her hands clasped together and her eyes sparkling.

"FRIEND!" Raven winced, bracing herself for the impact. Starfire's emotions smashed into her almost as hard as the alien crushed her in her arms. "Oh, it is most joyous to see you up in the world of the lively, and out of your strange stupor-"

"Uh, Star?" came Robin's voice, and she dimly saw the Boy Wonder's gloved hand on the alien's shoulders. That was about all she could see because her eyes were about to pop. "I think she needs to breathe." Starfire's grip on her lessened, and she felt herself being set back on the bed.

By the time her vision had returned, she could see them all crowded around her bed, Robin at Starfire's side, likely to restrain the alien (not that he could if he wanted to) if her unbridled enthusiasm grew too out of control. Strangely Beast Boy was hanging back at the foot of the bed. The rainbow of pulsing emotions flashing vividly around her, but she had rebuilt her emotional barriers. It was good that she had reestablished her control; Starfire was probably the most dangerous of all of them in terms of her empathy because she felt everything to its maximum.

Now that they were all here, she could see them properly. Starfire's hair looked frazzled, Beast Boy had a nasty bruise on his cheek and Robin smelled of motor oil. They hadn't even bothered to clean up before coming to see her and she could already envision them sitting outside her door for long hours waiting for her to wake up. Guilt coiled in her stomach. They had lost sleep over her. She chanced a glance at Beast Boy and his eyes took in every part of her carefully. He was serious and intense, some protectiveness burning in his gaze. She couldn't handle it so she looked elsewhere.

"Please, tell us, are you well again? Are you as fit as the string instrument?" Starfire's wide eyes peered at Raven.

"Um, Star," Robin interceded again, a little awkwardly, "that's fiddle."

"Oh," she said looking over at their leader. "Well, then are you feeling as fit as a violin, Raven?" Robin didn't even bother to correct her this time.

"I'm perfectly fine," Raven said in her usual monotone.

Starfire's hands were clasped—probably so that she would be able to fight the urge to hug her again—and she definitely was floating over the gurney. "Tell us how this came to be. I shall rip him arm from leg," she said, her voice and expression darkening.

"That won't be necessary," Raven said. The shadow that clouded the alien's face was uncommon to them but Starfire was a Tamaranean war princess, not a naïve child. "I-" she hesitated, not even sure what to tell them, but Robin stepped in.

"We can talk about that later," he said gently, laying a hand on Starfire's arm.

"Yes, of course," Starfire agreed and a look passed between her and Robin. "Forgive me, friend. I have been doing the rudeness. Please rest." Raven nodded, unwilling to meet Starfire's shining eyes or the blankness of Robin's mask. Strangely, Beast Boy said nothing at all.

Starfire floated out of the medical door, Robin on her heels. "Have the sweet dreams!" she called out softly over her shoulder.

Raven winced. It was a slight movement. So very slight. But every expression for her spoke in volumes. Thankfully, Starfire had not seen.

"Well, B, you're on first watch. Feelin' up to it?" Cyborg asked Beast Boy.

"I was born ready!" Beast Boy said, flashing a double thumbs up. He turned back to her, his grin lessening a little.

"Hope so, 'cause I ain't in the mind to replace all the windows in here," he said jokingly.

"Hey, I'm not that bad, right, Rae?" Beast Boy asked, looking at her.

Cyborg waggled his eyebrows at her over Beast Boy's shoulder and waved and she knew without a fraction of a doubt that he had set it up so that her first shift would be Beast Boy. She glared at him and Beast Boy caught the look but by the time he looked over his shoulder the door was already sliding shut behind Cyborg's retreating form.

"What was that about?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head. She blushed and said icily, "Nothing."

If she were the fidgeting type, she would have been fidgeting. After Cyborg's little lecture, and all the things that had been happening, all the things which she had been feeling, she was confused. She needed time to sort her feelings out on her own, but instead she was stuck with the boy in question. And it made her feel more than a little uncomfortable. Since Beast Boy was the fidgeting type she expected him to be fidgeting. But he wasn't. He pulled a chair up to her bedside, still grinning. He looked exhausted.

"You look terrible," she informed him dryly. She raised a hand to his cheek. "I could heal that for you."

She was about to call up her healing powers but he snatched her hand off his face.

"Nope! You're supposed to be taking a day off. Like a mini-vacation. And that means no powers."

"If I was going to have a vacation I definitely wouldn't do it here," she huffed, but he had not released her hand.

"If you think I look terrible, you should see yourself," he said, waggling his eyebrows. She frowned. "You should probably sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," she said harshly. The grin slid off his face. Now the disquiet was back.

"It's him, isn't it?" he asked. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't not look at him. She pulled her knees up to her chest, her eyes flicking to the deepest corners of the room as if he would suddenly appear. His eyes widened. "And it was him when you lost control…"

She let her hair drape across her face, like a curtain shutting the world from her view….or her from the view of the world. "I don't want to talk about it."

He hesitated but did not press her. Then suddenly, from out of the blue:

"I'm sorry." That surprised her and she chanced a glance at him. His jaw was set in that stubborn childish way that he had.

"For what?" she asked, her voice hoarse, cracking free of its monotone. "It wasn't your fault; you couldn't have done anything."

"I couldn't help you," he said softly. She regarded him in surprise and he blushed, his cheeks turning a mottled reddish green, almost brown… "I can't even comfort you."

"I don't want comfort, Beast Boy. I don't even know what you would be comforting me from," she lied scathingly, just because it was so easy, so easy to push him away. To push them all away. She didn't, no, she couldn't do emotions for long. It just wasn't in her nature. It wasn't her.

He frowned. "You're afraid. Aren't you?"

She choked out a half laugh which held no mirth. He had no idea. If she hadn't found better ways to come to terms to her emotions years ago, all sorts of monsters of her own creation would be ripping up the Tower right now. She was less afraid because of what Satan could do to her, and more afraid because he was so likely to succeed in his mission. How could she keep them all together? "It isn't going to make a difference," she murmured sadly, her eyes stricken. She didn't expect him to hear but he caught it.

"Don't say that, Rae!" He sounded angry, furious even. "I know that you're going to say this is cheesy, but you've got to believe!" She didn't react like she normally would with a sarcastic comeback nor did she start to argue back. Instead, she shifted on the bed and fixed her eyes to the floor. She was tired of fighting with him.

"Wanna hear a few jokes?" His eyes glittered playfully but she knew exactly what he was trying to do.

It had taken her some time to realize that much of what she had assumed to be Beast Boy really….wasn't. During certain days of the year she had watched him change into another person, someone she didn't recognize. Usually he was in his room under the guise of reading a new comic book or sleeping in, but his emotions were drowning in a deep sadness, unfamiliar to him; he felt like an entirely different person. The happy go lucky prankster disappeared in a puff of smoke and she had finally realized that it was not this sad person but the happy go lucky prankster who was the illusion; true, Beast Boy was silly by nature and he had good faith in others, but at the same time he was filled with so much darkness which he hid behind the façade. When the jokes were forced, when he seemed to be trying too hard, it was because he was struggling to contain himself before his true side burst free in an explosion of tangled darkness. Now he was trying to turn her mind from the darkness much as he would turn his own. She felt the strange emotion in him for just a moment, peeking out its head slyly before burying itself back beneath his mindscape….

"How do mules open locked barns?" he said.

"I don't care," she said, her voice lifeless. She couldn't even dredge up any anger towards him.

"With donkeys!" He laughed awkwardly by himself for a second. "Oh, c'mon, Rae, that was better than my usual!"

"Only because your usual can't get any worse," she mumbled without even realizing it. His grin widened and she waited for him to overwhelm her with a thousand different cheesy one liners.

Instead what came out was, "You should be like this more often."

"Vulnerable?" she asked, arching one brow, but she couldn't look at him.

"No, open," he said.

She moved restlessly. "Why?" Why did it matter whether she was open or shut away? It wasn't like she had ever treated him very well in the first place.

"Well, you know how it's my goal in life to get you to laugh-" her breath caught at that…it was his goal in life to make her laugh? She had always known that he wanted her to laugh at his jokes but she had guessed it was only for bragging rights. "-and you know what they say right?" She didn't answer. "Do you know how you get a peanut to laugh?" She gave him a strange look at the seeming randomness of the joke. "You crack it up! So we've just gotta crack you open-wait, gah, that didn't sound right!" he cried, waving his palms as if to stop her if she tried to attack him. His face was turning brown again.

"I can't be open," she interrupted his embarrassment.

"You were when we first met," he pointed out smugly.

"You ruined it," she said accusingly and part of her thought the accusation was well deserved while the other part screamed in protest. Besides, it wasn't entirely true. In a way he had overstepped himself and taken advantage of the fact that she'd thought he was funny, but he had been the first person so eager to make her laugh, to make her feel. That had made her happier beyond imagination.

"Okay…" He put a hand to this chin, striking a thinker pose. "So, let's start over!" His eyes glittered with amusement. He placed a hand on his chest, "Gar." She blinked in surprise at him using his real name, albeit a shortened version. "You?" He extended a hand to point in her direction and looked at her questioningly. She swatted his hand away.

"This isn't Tarzan, you nitwit," she growled. "I speak perfectly good English." He laughed.

"See? That wasn't so hard! Look, you made a joke already!"

"Beast Boy…."

"What did you say?" he asked, cupping a hand to a pointed ear and feigning deafness. "I can't really hear you…" She almost slapped him.

"Garfield…." she said with the exact same tone as previously.

"Gar," he said gently with a warm smile.

"No."

"Why not?" He cocked his head to the side.

"It just-" Azar curse it, she could feel a blush spreading across her face. She prayed he wouldn't notice. "It feels too….personal…"

"What, haven't we been together on this team for three years now?" he asked. "We save each other all the time and we know all about each other, right? And you think names are too personal?" He was laughing at her but her chest had tightened when he had said they knew everything about each other. 'No, that's not true,' she thought. 'Because I know nothing about you.' The thought struck her and she almost frantically scoured her mind for anything about him. That couldn't be true. She knew some things. He loved tofu and video games. He was caring and inclusive. But she knew that those weren't the real answers. True, she knew that he carried much pain but she didn't know where it stemmed from. She didn't know who his parents were or where he'd come from, or if he'd even been born green. It was all so strange. How could she not know about this boy who was such a constant in her life?

She realized that one of her hands had been firmly enclosed about something and she released her grip, puzzled, and looked down.

"Oh, sorry," Beast Boy said, clearing his throat as he let go of her hand. Her eyes darted up to his but he was looking anywhere but at her. Her face felt unbearably hot.

"I'm going to sleep," she declared because she didn't know what else to say, and their light banter had suddenly turned into something awkward.

"Uh, yeah, fine, great," Beast Boy said, still not looking at her. She settled herself down onto the gurney, pulling the covers over her and turning her head away from him. "So do you know why the chicken crossed the playground?"

"Just stop," she groaned softly.

"Not until you laugh," he promised playfully. She could empathically feel the warmth of his presence by her side. She was relieved that he didn't try to take her hand or come closer.

She still felt safe with him. And it was the worst feeling because it was false. It was a false insecurity borne from that one time, or her own wishful thinking. It would only be a thousand times worse when she saw Him again and this ridiculous notion was dispelled like a cloud of smoke. She could still hear him going at it with the jokes but his voice had grown softer, as if he was speaking to himself.

"Do you know why the cat was afraid of the tree?" She honestly didn't know why he dealt with her. He didn't have to. He could have hung out with Cyborg and all the others and left her to her darkness. And he was still here after all the times she had hurt him. Still trying to make her part of the group. "Because he feared its bark." His tone held no mirth; rather it sounded as if he were just making a simple statement of fact.

His voice sounded huskier with a strange tone to it as she drifted off. "Do you know what one leaf said to another?" he whispered. An odd melancholic note filled his words, which she was already trying to make sense of, though half asleep.

"I'm falling for you," he murmured softly, and sighed. Then she was gone.

A/N: Another….filler chapter? What do you think? How's this progression going? Hope they're not OOC, but Raven's just been beaten to pieces emotionally. Review, please? It would make my day! I have some formatting issues and the single quotes were meant to be Raven's thoughts. As always I welcome questions and comments. Enjoy!


	15. Chapter 15: The Beast Returns

Disclaimer: Teen Titans and all affiliated characters belong to DC Comics. Only the plot line is my own.

Chapter 15: The Beast's Return

The shafts of white light dappled the city's roads and set the motes of dust aflame. Raven stared up at the towers of Azarath with a mixture of awe and sadness. The city stood no longer. Only a smoldering ruination, a bare skeleton of what it had been, lay there, if only as a reminder of what had once stood in its place. A reminder for her, of course. For with whom else lay the blame for its destruction? Who else turned the eye of her father to the peaceful city which would not dare take up weapons to save itself—not that it would have mattered. Her. It was all because of her.

For what stood before her now, the spires glittering in the sun, and the clean cobbled roads covered by the towering shadows, was nothing more than a memory, pulled to the surface from her times as a child. She looked upon her surroundings and closed her eyes wearily in recognition of the familiar balcony and white splotch of her childhood form beneath its cool shade.

Time and the neglect of the childhood had blurred the lines of many of her memories, turning them into a whirling continuum which had no beginning and no ending. It was hard for her to shift and sort through these, even in her calmest meditative state, but the memories of her mother always contrasted starkly from the haze of her childhood. Her mother had flitted in and out of her life so infrequently and rarely that Raven, as a child, had given them precious value and relived them many times over. It was for this reason that she was so easily able to place this moment…and exactly what was about to happen.

She walked softly a ways towards the familiar balcony, though the noise of her steps did not matter—she was an invisible spectator and could not change the events which had already come to pass. Raven watched the memory relive itself as a burst of soft white fluttered across her vision. She traced the dove's path up into the endless blue to freedom.

"My daughter," Arella spoke with a low ache borne from the long misery and pains of her life. The child-Raven from the memory paid no heed to her mother's words where she sat playing softly in the cobblestones beneath the eaves of the balcony.

Raven looked at her mother, overwhelmed perhaps by the feelings from the memory or feelings which still existed. One stood out foremost: Arella's loveliness, unmarred by an inner darkness. To Raven, Arella had always symbolized the light, the very opposite of her father. She represented the very thing which Raven could never become, the very thing which she could never reach, never touch. Her mother had been as distant as she was loving, the coldness only broken by brief and sporadic displays of affection. And yet each hug, kiss, and touch of the hair had felt like goodbye.

"You have always been your father's daughter," her mother said softly, another dove clinging to her fingers. The soft whisper of her voice was not strong enough to carry to the hunched over form of child-Raven, draped in a cloak as white as purity. It didn't matter because her words weren't addressed to the child.

"Mother," Raven whispered, her voice filled with a low ache. She reached out slender fingers as if she could touch the  
>still glass of the memory before her, but it played out as if she didn't exist.<p>

Arella sighed, stroking the dove's head with the lightest of pressure. "What you have, you inherited none of from me." Raven, even as the young child she had been then, knew that that was true. She had none of her mother's beauty, none of her serenity; she had stolen her mother's tresses perhaps, but nothing more than that; the bluish-amethyst of her eyes reflected her demonic nature more than anything.

Raven's voice stuck in her throat, as she knew what was coming next, the bitter words which would flow, but this was only a memory, and the words had meant so little to her then as a child. Just the chance to see her mother, away from the sanctuary of the temple, and drink in her presence, had been enough.

"What you have not yet realized, Raven, is that this was not just some curse laid on an unfortunate child; this is no one's fault but my own. The monks lay the responsibility of the world on your shoulders, an impossible weight even for one full grown, but for a child...Azar still thinks to best Trigon by keeping you from Earth…" Her mother's dark gaze carried the crushing sadness of the world. "What you must realize, my daughter, is that what will be, will be. You cannot change your fate." Raven felt something inside her break at the familiar words, spoken before in her dreams by a tongue of evil.

Her mother softly stroked the breast of another bird which cooed softly in response. "Azar's training is futile. You cannot change the prophecy. Trigon will come to Earth." Arella raised her arm and the dove fluttered off of it, dwindling to a white speck in the distance. The sun set its wings on silver flame.

"There is no hope," she murmured weakly. A shining tear slid down her mother's face and Raven's heart shattered. She lowered her head, awaiting the words which had registered even in her childhood. She looked upon her younger self who was gazing upon Arella with wide eyes, prepared to drink in her every word as if it were law. "I only wish…" her mother's voice trailed off and Raven's shaking hands squeezed into fists…

"That you had never been born…"

Then everything burst into flame around her, a roaring conflagration from hell that drowned out every noise. The heat scoured her but was not hot enough to hurt her; nothing could be hot enough to hurt a demon's child. She wished it could, though. She wished it could melt right through her skin, burn down to her bones, and turn her into ashes. She wished she could feel the pain of it, as if that would somehow help her atone for her sin.

"I know all this already," she murmured through numb lips, her voice nonexistent in the roaring flames. "It's my fault—it was always my fault. Why are you showing this to me?" she asked the flames, waiting for the snide response. "Why are you showing me this?!" Strangely, there was no answer.

Raven bolted upright with a choking sob. The disturbing clarity and sentiment of the dream sent a flood of emotions through her before she could prevent it. Gasping, she buried her face in her cupped palms in an attempt to regain control of the warring emotions. She was surprised to feel wetness on her cheeks. That couldn't be right. She pulled her hands away from her face to study the shining moisture on her shaking fingers as if it were again a foreign thing.

Wetness. Water. Tears.

She was crying.

She stared at the tears numbly in a mixture of shock and apprehension. Why was this having such an effect on her? Why was she letting it? Her face morphed into a terrifying snarl and she pushed the tears off her face with the heels of her hands. The roughness of her gesture bruised her cheeks and left raw spots but she could care less. She couldn't bear herself right now. She was sickening, repulsive, and weak. She was not someone to be controlled by whims or emotions. Long ago she had proven herself better than that. The day her mother had first brought her to Azar's temple she had promised to overcome these frail human feelings, to reach tranquility. She had promised to overpower this very human weakness. Azar's words swam back to her.

"Emotions are frailty, child. They are what tie us down to this world, they are what physically tether us against our will. Every soul longs for the freedom which transcends and surpasses the highest and purest joy of this realm." Wide eyed, Raven nodded her head, drinking in every word. "It is this enlightenment which will bring you peace." Raven looked up at the female priestess.

"Do you mean my…" Shamefully, Raven looked at the ground, unable to voice her thoughts.

"Yes, your powers. With this you will have the control which you need. You will no longer be capable of inflicting harm on the inanimate, and more importantly, on the living." Raven flinched at the words which brought a sickening shame as deep as bone. She had not meant to hurt it, the tiny bird which had taken to flight at her presence. She had just wanted to look at it and touch the fine film of feathers on its wings. But it was so, so fragile…

"But this cannot be found without sacrifices."

"What sacrifices?" came Raven's question stumbling over the unexpected word. Azar's dark questing eyes pierced Raven through and through, seeing, Raven was sure, right into her soul.

"A sacrifice is something which you give up, child."

"What do I have…?" Raven let the question trail off, knowing that the priestess's sharp gaze could read her every thought. Azar paused for a moment before speaking.

"Your heart."

Raven scrambled away from the monk, flinging up a hand in defense just as a shield flickered to life around her form. It was completely automatic, the barest of instincts for self- preservation, and the shield which manifested around her was testament to this. A jagged wall of dark energy, it was far from the dome-like encompassing protection the Raven of the present could create.

"That is not what I meant," Azar said patiently. Her relentless eyes did not free Raven's and the girl let her shield die around her. "By your heart, I meant your emotions, your feelings. You must be above all this. You must feel nothing."

She had failed Azar above all. The teachings which she had attempted to internalize had failed her, and she in turn had failed the monastery and her very heritage. She was far weaker than she had thought.

This isn't right. She was not some puppet for him to just tug on strings and get the reaction he wanted. She was the only one who was in control of herself and no one else. A burning fury possessed her every vein and her grip on her sheets tightened. This is not right! He wielded all these memories and moments, some treasured, some feared, all powerful, as weapons against her. He even dared to taint the bittersweet memory of her own mother!

The anger in her grew, enveloping her senses and fueling the fire in her gut. The light above her flickered and buzzed as a dark aura swirled around her. This is the very thing which got you where you are now in the first place, a snide emotion reminded her. The light flickered one last time then shone normally as the oppressive shadows retracted into her now still form. Her anger dissipated quickly and her hands relaxed.

She had always looked upon her friends as the delicate things. One wrong move with her powers and they would be broken at her feet just like the little bird from her childhood. But she was wrong. She was the fragile one.

She was broken.

A soft snore broke through her reverie. Raven froze, her eyes widening as every sense in her body flooded her mind with information, trying to process exactly what she was sensing. They all came to one startling conclusion, all six of them, and Raven's mind scrambled for an alternative explanation but all the facts were laid out plain and simple for her to see and there was no other option. No, it can't be. She could feel the warmth of a blush which was quickly setting fire to her cheeks. She registered the sinking sensation of the mattress, the quiet even breaths punctuated by the occasional snort, the mind whirling with the floating sensation of a dreamless sleep.

Very, very slowly, as if these things which her senses had registered would slowly dissipate or present themselves as illusions, she turned her head...

…And took in Beast Boy's form slumped over her bed, his back arched unnaturally, his head pillowed in his arms. He must have pulled up a chair sometime in the night and fallen asleep watching over her, if the wrinkled state of his uniform was any testament to this.

Guilt swarmed over her, and she looked away. Here she was doing it again. Making them worry about her. Hurting them.

She looked back at him. A few strands of his forest green hair had fallen across his emerald brow. He was always there, even when she didn't want him to be there. If there was one thing she knew without a doubt, one thing she could trust, it was that he would always be at her side. A warm bubble expanded from her heart, spreading out to her limbs with a pleasant tingling. She swallowed tightly, wondering why this simple image and thought was affecting her so much. When he was around, or awake really, she would have suppressed it without a second thought for the backlash. Now, however, there was no one around to see, no one around to snicker and make comments, no one around to read the emotions written all over her face. Without thought, her hand lifted itself off the covers and stretched out towards him.

She froze a moment later, and let her hand fall back on the sheet. This was wrong. She couldn't allow these sorts of…things, unspeakable, dangerous things, to take hold of her like this. She couldn't lose out to emotions again. Especially not now. But…

Just this one touch, something within her begged. Her heart sped up, galloping in her chest until it felt like it was going to explode. She turned her head sharply towards the door, then over to the curtains of the window. There was nothing.

As if it had a mind of its own, her hand stretched out towards him, gliding along to its imminent destination. Beast Boy stirred slightly, and she froze and watched with wide eyes as he burrowed his face deeper into the cradle of his arms. Pushing onward, before she lost her opportunity, she let her fingertips graze the smooth skin of his forehead. It felt more like fur than skin really, the lightest and softest fur imaginable from the almost invisible fuzz that covered him.

She allowed her fingers to glide along his brow, gently sweeping the stray hairs up and away. Now that she had touched him, she couldn't seem to stop, so she looked away as if by looking away from the act she could have no part in it, could claim innocence.

The little guy cares for you a lot.

Raven's motions slowed. A throbbing ache pulsed somewhere in her heart. He can't. He doesn't. With the way that she treated him every day, her violent physical and verbal abuse…how could he even tolerate that, let alone care for her? And she was nothing compared to-to… Terra, she thought, forcing the hated name out. She had had his humor, his optimistic view on things. She had had his heart. Her throat closed off painfully.

I don't want to see him get hurt. That was worse wasn't it? Here she was, doing what she did best, shoving the feelings down hard, back to where they came. Suppressing her heart. Shadowing her true emotions. It was all part of her teachings, it was all part of who she was. She had already failed Azar long ago; she had failed from the instant she had mingled with the Titans and chosen to join their team. And now here she was again, a child of two worlds, hopelessly stuck in the middle. She had not transcended all emotion and found tranquility. But nor could she so easily forget and cast away her old teachings, and become one of them. She was not emotionless, but she could not express her emotion. And if I care for him that much? If I like him? If I love him?

What if I do? She thought and her hand stopped on his skin. He made a soft mewling sound that made her breath catch. She turned her eyes to him and apprehensively watched as he shifted around again, his ears twitching before settling down again. What if I do? That was nonsense, right? They were just friends. She would feel the same way about any one of the Titans. The thoughts rang hollow.

She gasped as a horrible pang wracked her and her heart felt as if it had been squeezed by a vice.

She was a liar. She resumed stroking his brow. A bitter smile crossed her face, but the low ache in her heart did not subside. She cared too much to admit it. She cared too much to ever show her feelings, so afraid of scorn, or rejection. But even that wasn't true. Even now, in this brief lull and moment of peace, she could not admit the truth to herself! She wasn't so much afraid that he would laugh at her advances. Even if he did not feel the same way, which every other member of the Tower seemed to hint otherwise, he was too kind to do something like that to her. He was too kind and thoughtful to even let something of the sort ruin their friendship, as others might.

No, she was afraid that they would become close. And that she would hurt him.

The thought of pain coming to him by her own hands, was enough to keep her at bay. And she could and would accept that. For his sake.

People were fragile.

There is only one thing I want, Raven thought, gently brushing back his hair behind the curve of his ear. I want these feelings to disappear. Her heart raged in rebellion, throbbing in her chest and she lowered her head in defeat.

And her eyes met Beast Boy's bleary gaze. She withdrew her hand sharply as if she had been burned, and turned away from him.

How much has he seen? She wondered in horror. She squeezed her eyes shut and released her breath through her nose. A moment later she had composed her mask and she turned her head back to him preparing to deliver some snide remark but the words lodged in her throat.

Beast Boy was staring at her as if he had never seen her before, his wide eyes searching her face for any of the intense emotion which had suffused her every feature. Raven did not know what to say to him. He stood slowly, his eyes holding her own and keeping her prisoner. He reached out a hand, reaching for her face.

"Raven-" he murmured breathlessly.

Her voice cracked. "Please-don't." A stack of syringes exploded on the far counter, the cupboards rattled, and a pillow on the farthest gurney split and wept feathers. She knew that if he touched her every newfound revelation was going to spill out of her. It was the last wish of her aching heart. "Please." He did not heed her pleas and she scooted away from him so that she was as far from him as physically possible without leaving the bed. She shut her eyes, unable to deny the wishes of her heart any longer.

"Raven," he murmured, "I-"

The alarm went off. Raven's eyes shot open and she took in Beast Boy's frozen form, wide eyes filled with darkness and turmoil. Glad for the distraction, she flung the covers off of her body, and melted through the floor and into the common area, leaving the still changeling behind. Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire were already present, leaning over the console in the common room. She pushed down her emotional turmoil in favor for her stoic expression.

"What is it?" she asked a little more sharply than usual as she glided over to join them.

"Big trouble," Robin answered, his brow furrowed. Raven looked over his shoulder at the point of interest highlighted on their grid of the city. Only it wasn't a point. They were points. "We've got Cinderblock on 16th, and the Hive Five at a bank downtown," Robin said, tapping the two highlighted areas on the screen. Raven heard the main doors slide open and Beast Boy ran up to them. She could not read his expression and she did not dare to extend her empathy to his emotions.

"Hive Five's still down two, with Jinx and Gizmo, but that's still four able criminals," Robin said, his eyes meeting with Starfire's and Cyborg's in an almost silent conversation. "We'll follow the plan-" Raven bristled at this. What plan are they talking about? "-split up and take out Cinderblock first then move to dispatch the Hive. I'll link up with you at the intercept site, we'll split them up and take them down one at a time."

"What plan?" Raven asked coldly.

Cyborg grimaced in sympathy and Starfire looked at Raven guiltily, wringing her hands. "Well, friends," she started at the same time, Cyborg began practically, "It's like this-" Robin cut them off with a curt shake of the head.

"Get a head start on Cinderblock and see if you can cut down the Five's lead," Robin said crisply. Starfire's eyes flickered to them and Cyborg hesitated, then they quickly moved towards the garage. The room's temperature seemed to drop drastically in their absence as Raven glared at Robin, already feeling his intentions and sensing the words which were about to be spoken. Robin looked at the screen to avoid her gaze, the blue lighting washing over his face and giving it an unnatural sheen. After several agonizing seconds, in which Raven could feel Beast Boy staring between the two of them as the room seemed to grow colder and colder, though that was physically impossible, Robin began. "I need you two here at the Tower."

Raven's mouth tightened into a thin line and she waited for the obnoxiously loud protest from Beast Boy's end but surprisingly the changeling said nothing, his eyes guarded and dark. She didn't know why the shape shifter chose now to be silent but she voiced her own thoughts instead, "No." Robin turned his gaze onto Raven and her glare intensified in response. Beast Boy snorted mirthlessly. "Dude, Rob, I told you it wasn't going to be so easy."

Raven could feel her temper rising. What did they all know that she didn't? "What-are-you-talking about?" she clipped. The two boys ignored her.

"I guess not," Robin spoke quietly, addressing the changeling, who let his lip curl, showing one gleaming fang. "It doesn't matter to me either way," Beast Boy continued calmly. "Either way, you know where I am." Beast Boy's gaze burned with the strength of an unknown demand and Raven could not read his whirling emotions. Robin threw a glance at the screen and huffed, turning his full attention to Raven. The air between them was practically crackling with intensity, like the static of a thunderstorm before it strikes.

"Raven, I need you to stay here at the Tower."

"No," she restated, her voice more gravelly with emotion. She remembered all too well what had happened the last time she had remained. Unbidden the image of Robin prone on the ground, with a pool of blood beneath him flashed before her eyes even as she heard his gurgling voice whispering Starfire's name…

No, they were not going anywhere without her.

"Just hear me out, please," Robin said, now in full leader mode. He looked at the green shapeshifter. "Beast Boy." The changeling scanned Raven's face, and she let her eyes drop to the ground at the uneasiness churning in her stomach—but not before she caught the worry in his glance. Then Beast Boy was gone, moving away from them towards the couch, where he sat stiffly. Raven was fairly certain he could still hear everything they were going to say but she wasn't in the mood to point that out.

"Raven," Robin continued in a hushed voice, "you lost control of your powers. That's twice in three weeks and I'm not even counting that-that-episode with Beast Boy. I've seen you go a whole year without a single incident. You won't tell me what's going on, or you don't know yourself-" Raven frowned at the accusation in his voice but did not speak, because she was hardly justified in doing so. She did know what was going on, to an extent, and it was well beyond the scope of what Robin had imagined- "and I can't make heads or tails of it. Then Slade comes along, and instead of dropping the usual insults on me and the team, he starts throwing jibes at you. Maybe he's interested in you, maybe he's not. But if he's choosing to come back now you can bet it's because he has something planned. And if it involves you, the best thing to do is to keep you as far out of Slade's reach as possible." The Boy Wonder gazed at her hopefully, and she could feel the force of his plea through their link as he tried to reach her through it.

"No."

The edges of his mask tightened. "Raven, I'm not asking."

"Don't even try to pull the leader card," Raven grated. She didn't feel like expressing herself and bringing up his past shooting so she continued awkwardly, "You need me out there and you need Beast Boy. So you might as well accept that we're going."

They were locked in the challenge, will against will, and she knew that time was on her side. Robin had already wasted enough precious minutes with his explanation, and Cyborg and Starfire wouldn't take long with Cinderblock and they needed Robin to deal with the Five. She couldn't deny, though, that part of her ardor stemmed from her own selfishness. She couldn't bear to be locked up in the Tower with Beast Boy now of all times. After he had seen—her! Doing—that!

She didn't need closure. She was perfectly content with running away.

"I won't have you throw yourselves into this unnecessarily," Robin said with a hint of urgency. "I need both you and Beast Boy to ride this out for a little while. Cyborg and I have already called in backup; Titans East will be loaning us Speedy and Bumblebee and Kid Flash is calling in some of the other honorary titans."

"I said no, Robin," she said, her monotone fraying.

"We are going out there without you, Raven," Robin stated harshly, changing tactics. "And I want someone here with you."

"Then why Beast Boy?" Raven asked sharply. "You could have left Starfire, or Cyborg, or even yourself if you really wanted someone here to protect me. He already stayed up watching me in the med bay; I think he's sacrificed enough on my behalf."

"That's just a reason why he needs more rest, Raven-"

"You know Beast Boy isn't like that," she cut in, changing her argument. "The hero business runs as strongly if not more strongly in his blood than yours. You know he hates this as much as I do, if not more; he doesn't like to be caged up like an animal. So I ask again—why would you do this to him, all other things aside? Why Beast Boy?"

She stood there smugly, sure that at the least Beast Boy would be freed from his obligation and frankly at that point there would be no one to stop her from leaving the Tower and meeting up with the Titans—but the Boy Wonder spoke the unexpected words:

"He volunteered."

Raven didn't know how her face looked but her expression must have been so dumbstruck because Robin felt the need to repeat himself. "He volunteered."

She turned her eyes to Beast Boy's form on the couch but he clearly had heard every word and had fixed his gaze on the bay waters outside the massive windows, a muscle twitching in his jaw.

A moment later a call patched through to the intercom, with Cyborg's voice on the line. "Yo, Rob! Star and I are almost on big an' ugly, and we should be moving to intercept the Five in ten. Dr. Light's just popped up though—he's tearing up the Metro District."

"I'm on my way out; I'll join with you at the intercept site," Robin said, closing the comm link. His face was twisted in frustration and he turned to look at a smug Raven and stern Beast Boy, whose arms were crossed as he contemplated his leader.

"I don't think the Hive Five's that small," Beast Boy commented casually. Raven blinked. That was the first argument she had heard on his part in favor of them being released.

They all stared at each other tensely for a moment, Robin's jaw growing tighter and tighter. She could practically see the cogs turning in his head, weighing every possibility and trying to find one which stuck to his original plan and kept them in the Tower.

"Robin, please," Raven interrupted after a moment. "We both know that this is not going to end well if you spread your already smaller team out like this. You need us." Robin surveyed the pair of them critically, Raven's gaze stern and begging and demanding all at once. His shoulders tensed and then his whole body slumped in defeat.

"Alright," he agreed softly. "This once. The two of you, together, can go deal with Dr. Light. Once you're done there, I don't expect you to rejoin with us; I want you back in the Tower again unless we call for you." Raven's eyes narrowed but Beast Boy shrugged. "Understood?"

Raven nodded curtly and she felt Beast Boy do the same besides her. Robin's hard gaze, almost tangible despite the mask, held them both to their promise. Then he took off in a swirl of black and yellow, disappearing into the garage. Raven felt Beast Boy's eyes on her, but she again refused to meet his gaze.

"Raven," she heard the changeling murmur, his voice completely and totally serious. Her heart made a few awkward beasts before racing to an unsteady gallop. "I know this is not the time, but I really think we need to ta-"

"Activate roof exit," she stated dryly to the Tower's systems and a moment later a perfect circle yawned above them,  
>putting on display the pale blue of the sky. She flew through it without a second glance backwards at the changeling. Raven briefly considered grabbing him with her powers but quickly cast that notion aside as she remembered the screaming voices in his head and his choking fear. They could travel quickly by other methods. Using her powers, she formed a flat black disc just big enough for two people and looked back expectantly.<p>

Beast Boy was well ahead of her. He shifted at her side from whatever flying form he had occupied and crouched, dropping his center of gravity low so as to not fall prey to inertia. She nudged with her powers and an instant later they were racing across the open water to the Metro District with breathtaking speed.

"Raven," he sighed from his position. "You can't keep avoid-"

"What were you talking about?" she said bluntly, ignoring the anger washing over him. "You and Robin. You said it wasn't going to be easy."

There was a flash of resentment in his eyes for a moment at her attempt to change the subject but he sighed, releasing  
>the tension, and let it slip by. "That it wasn't going to be so easy to get you to change your mind."<p>

"What about you?" she asked. "You didn't try to persuade me at all. Or Robin, for that matter," she added. It didn't add up. It wasn't like him to not mind being left behind—you would almost think he was in agony the way he had whined about it on the few previous occasions that that had been necessary.

"I don't care either way," he said, echoing his earlier sentiment.

"What does that even mean?" she said a little snappishly, strangely even more so annoyed by this (she could think of no other way to put it, so she fell back on a disappointing lack of eloquence) non-Beast Boy-ness!

"If you're going to ask questions like that," he said sharply, rising a bit on his toes to meet her gaze, "then I think you should answer mine."

Raven glared but in no way acquiesced and after a moment Beast Boy leapt off the disc, morphing into an owl and letting their conversation crumble into nothingness. That of course relieved Raven from any obligation of having this 'talk' Beast Boy seemed so desperate about, but at the same time it left her in the dark which frustrated her beyond belief.

The Metro Area was coming up, though, and Raven started turning her mind to finding the Dr. Light, her eyes scanning the mapway of streets and alleys. She began to extend outwards with her empathy, feeling for the villain's extreme vanity or gloating, but found that she didn't have to.

Raven surveyed the area from the eagle's perch of her disc before allowing it to melt into thin air. Beast Boy hovered overhead, making tight spirals downwards as an owl. They both landed in the middle of the street a moment later, fully taking in the quiet and desolate scene around them.

Whatever the villain had been doing, he had left a path of destruction in his wake. The glass windows of store fronts lay in jagged pieces on the asphalt. A long furrow had been cut into the road, almost a foot deep, as if some beast had ran a giant claw through the street, and not a single lamp light was intact. A van, dented and smashed so that the company logo on the side was well beyond recognition, leaned against a metal post which looked as though it had been melted from the top down.

"How quaint," Raven remarked in her usual gravelly tone. Despite her sarcasm, she felt the starts of uneasiness coil tight knots at the base of her insides. This didn't seem like Dr. Light's usual rampage of flashy obnoxious displays which would put a Vegas show to shame. Raven frowned. Wanton violence did not fit his character at all. Not to mention the fact that he didn't appear to be anywhere in the vicinity. Whatever he did he wanted to claim. He was all about the personal attention and gloating rights. But if that was the case, then where was he?

"Duuuuuuuude," Beast Boy whistled, taking in the sight. "This is almost as bad as the time we forgot to feed Silkie…"

"Almost as bad?" she asked, just to keep things customary but it fell flat on its face when Beast Boy did not respond, except to frown more deeply. Focus, Raven, she told herself, trying to turn her attention from the boy besides her. She just wanted things to go back to normal-! Focus, Raven. She drew in a cleansing breath and extended her empathy trying to feel for the villain's presence but there was no sign of him. A couple of feral cats tussling two alleyways down. Some frightened civilians half a mile south trying to figure out what all the commotion was. A homeless man counting change. None of whom were the villain himself.

"This doesn't make any sense-" she began to comment and then the ripple of light over their heads cut her sentence short. She took to the air just as Beast Boy whirled around, his shape a blur before solidifying into a lion.

And there was Dr. Light.

Dust coated the villain's usually immaculate black uniform, sand and grime from his time in the desert. He appeared to be limping or staggering, probably under the weight of an impressive amount of gear which made him look more like a cyborg than a man. Raven waited for the tirade of cheesy light comments but none were forthcoming. The villain stood there watching them, his arms dangling at his sides much like a gorilla's, his voice hoarse with gulping breaths that made his rib cage, still visible despite the extra technology, heave.

His face broke into a smile. "Finally," he said gruffly. Raven let her powers free, a momentary panic seizing her—but it was all for naught. Dr. Light was there, completely and truly, though how he had appeared out of nowhere was beyond her. New gear or not, this wouldn't take long. "Are we really going to do this again?" Raven asked dryly, her eyes glowing white. Beast Boy growled menacingly in agreement.

The villain's eyes widened with some horrified realization and he swallowed, a sheen of sweat starting on his skin. He  
>shuddered and for a moment Raven thought he was going to fling himself at her feet weeping, as he had done before. Something in the man's face hardened though, and he stumbled forward, raising one arm to release a stream of light.<p>

She took to the air quickly, just as Beast Boy moved in as a great lion. He snarled at the criminal who took an involuntary step back before he visibly steeled himself.

Something isn't right…The self-proclaimed "doctor" was making all of his attacks and movements without his usual flair and cockiness. The lines of his gaunt face looked as hard as chiseled rock.

Beast Boy drew into close quarters, clearly intending to dispatch the villain's gear; without it he would be completely powerless.

A circle of light, not unlike Raven's own shields of darkness, extended from the villain's forearms and he used these to parry Beast Boy's strikes, even as the changeling clawed at him futilely. Raven allowed her powers to encircle the villain's armor, holding him in place as she proceeded to squeeze the metal as easily as a soda can—but her powers flickered and faded as soon as they touched the metal. Dr. Light cackled, and sent a beam of light her way which dissipated against her shield but in the brief lull Beast Boy sprang forward, his claws ripping a gash in a piece of armor and rendering it useless.

Dr. Light's mouth tightened and Raven again tried desperately to reach out with her powers and still the villain, shove him, throw him off balance or something, but her powers turned to smoke and disappeared. "Beast Boy, get away from him!" she managed. Desperately she dove forward, wrenching a lamppost off the sidewalk and wielding it like a baseball bat, but she was not fast enough as a vast net spilled out of the criminal's arm gun. She released a slice of dark energy to shield the changeling, but this too evaporated into thin air at the touch of the net which enveloped Beast Boy in the folds. She carefully let a burst of her powers slide along the mesh, but it strangely held fast. As her powers touched the rope she felt something, she didn't know how else to describe it, for it was far from tangible—but some thing defy her powers, magically shove them away from the physical part of the ropes holding Beast Boy fast.

Magic.

She didn't know where Dr. Light had picked up his new gear but this was no longer about rounding up another escapee. Dr. Light couldn't use magic. There weren't the usual echoes or whispers off of his form which would indicate a mage. Someone else had set up this net, knowing full well that her powers would be useless, someone who could actually use magic.

This was part of a bigger setup. This was a trap. A cold knot settled at the base of her stomach but she coolly pressed the alert button on her communicator before facing the villain.

This was hardly Beast Boy's first trial with nets, though, and his form swelled up to burst free of the confines. In that instant though, the net wires stretched to accommodate his growing shape and a burst of blue hot electricity snaked around the wire, spreading to his shrinking body.

"No!" Raven cried, as the changeling, once again human in an attempt to shrink further and thus be free of the wires and potent electricity, released a horrible scream and writhed in pain. Smoke rose from his flesh and a charred smell rose in the air. The lightning stopped and his form stilled. She could hear the pulse of blood in her ears as loudly as the roaring thunder of a storm.

Her gaze menacingly turned to Dr. Light. The criminal was staring at her wide eyed and with a horrified familiarity as if a childhood nightmare had just come to life. Raven allowed and her dark nature to seep around her, pulsing with each heartbeat as if it had a life of its own.

"My turn," she said in a gravelly voice, close to a snarl. She let loose a torrent of her black magic, which began ripping up lampposts, fire hydrants, mailboxes, and trashcans, and hurtling them at the doctor. Just because her powers couldn't touch him, didn't mean she couldn't do something about it. The doctor looked weak at the knees but he managed to jump clear, but a trashcan clipped his shoulder and sent him tumbling to the ground. Raven advanced on him, trusting in her dark nature to bring the villain to his knees as it had so many times in the past. She felt herself slipping raggedly on the edges but she held onto herself and kept her other side at bay. "Who freed you from jail?" she demanded. No answer. "Where did you get your equipment from?" This time she let her powers form snaking tendrils which seemed to reach for the villain, just keeping away from contact with his armor which would most likely dispel her powers. She waited for the criminal to melt into a pile of goo but while his form was jerking and twitching he had not begun weeping yet. She narrowed her eyes.

A sound finally burst free from the "doctor's" throat, and turned into a wheezing cackle.

The laughter disturbed her. Something is very, very wrong. Dr. Light should have been terrified out of his mind already. She leaned forward and the distorted mimicry of a giant raven, which her energy had formed, leaned forward as well.

The villain's mad laughter ended hysterically. "You, you, you!" he gasped out. "You're the one I want!" he said with a note of childish glee. Too late, Raven noted the broken light in his eyes just as the doctor smacked a hidden button on his breastplate.

She let out a cry as a pure white light burst around her, ripping her black magic into shreds, its horrible heat racing along her skin. She propelled herself backwards, just as the blast caught her squarely in the chest, flinging her back and drowning her in the white. She distinctly felt herself smash into the alley way wall and for a moment there was nothing but a strange buzzing in her ears and black haze across her vision.

Then it was over.

Raven blinked and tried to lift her head, but a whirlwind of nausea came across her and she was forced to let it drop again onto the sidewalk. She reached up a hand to the source of the acute pain and winced as she felt her matted hair, sticky and warm with the heat of her blood falling upon the stone beneath her.

Four or five, she couldn't even count anymore, versions of the same lightpole and building swam across her vision, warbling in and out of focus. She let herself slip into a more meditative state for a moment, feeling the flesh at the back of her skull begin to reknit, even as the pressure in her head increased tenfold. Before she could completely overcome her disorientation, though, she felt two hands grip her shoulders with the tenacity of claws, and slam her up against the wall. She couldn't quite make out the figure, but her vision was the last thing she needed to identify who was holding her there.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the criminal was babbling triumphantly. "Took me a long time, a long long time, if Master won't be unpleased-"

Raven didn't even think, she just phased through the wall behind her and allowed herself to reform behind where she sensed the villain had been standing. She still couldn't see quite right; everything had turned to hazy outlines and glaring lights and pooling shadows. Her empathic sense was enough, though, to tell the general position of the villain, the objects around her, and Beast Boy's form on the side of the alleyway.

Their positions reversed, she uprooted the local wires beneath the ground, letting the ends spark and whiplash with electricity. All too painfully aware of the prone form of Beast Boy, now breathing more deeply with the rigors of sleep, she let the red haze obscure some of her vision. "You get once chance," she snarled. "Start talking."

Then…something awoke.

Less than two seconds later, Dr. Light's shivering form was ripped away from her by a hulking blur which raced past her so fast she could feel its tug on her cloak. Her demonic side growled in displeasure at having lost its catch, and began to extend tendrils of dark energy after the fast moving shape, but not before something registered somewhere in the back of her mind.

True, her vision was still off, and she hadn't been able to make out much about the hulking figure other than the fact that it was considerably larger than Dr. Light's wavering and blurred form, but one crucial detail had managed to register.

It was green.

"Beast Boy?" the name slipped free of her tongue, even as her demonic influence folded back in upon itself as with a concentrated effort she pushed that side of herself back behind the usual barriers.

All of this happened in the course of three seconds, and at the end of it, Raven heard Dr. Light scream, the terrible bloodcurdling scream of a man who is facing death itself.

The Beast had not reached the fragile morsel of the man itself beneath this thick hide of shining stone and small stars but nothing would stop him. He tore at the armored shell with massive claws, displaying the insides of tangled multi-colored wire and delicate chips which were destroyed in a shower of bright blue sparks. Dr. Light made a futile attempt to hit the Beast with a light beam but the hulking menace swatted his arm with enough force to break it, shattering the device like it was a plaything.

The Doctor fumbled at his belt and a moment later a handful of round gumball-sized objects went off, peppering the Beast with miniature explosions and bright shafts of blinding light. A snarl ripped out of its chest as it flailed wildly, and Dr. Light made his escape. It was short lived as the Beast caught up in mere seconds. It did not need its sight to find the one it wanted, and it lashed out with a wiry arm, striking a gash in the doctor's back plating. The criminal fell to the ground whimpering strangely.

"No, no, no! The device itself. The device itself!" Even as Dr. Light uttered these words, Raven could feel a flicker of power from the ruined plating as magic seeped out and oozed into the atmosphere, disappearing. Before she could even consider this strange development, she noticed the Beast moving forward again.

"Beast Boy, it's over!" she called out weakly, knowing that he would hear her regardless. Dr. Light had curled himself into a ball, making indistinct sobbing sounds, but the werebeast did not stop.

The Beast did not care for words or pleas; it moved forward with savage intent, its mouth curling open to reveal its glistening fangs. It gave one howl of triumph and in that instant, with a flicker of terror, Raven realized that Beast Boy was not going to assert himself. Beast Boy had not called upon his primal side as he had during the End to fight his battles; he was completely and utterly out of control. And there was no telling what he would do. The creature was so intently murderous without a second thought or misgiving. It was incredibly inhuman.

She panicked. She couldn't lose Beast Boy. She had seen that look in his eyes, that self-revulsion when he had come close to killing Slade. If he actually took a life, everything about him-his innocence, his eagerness, his enjoyment of life-would be destroyed.

She enveloped him in her presence. In his mind, there was no Beast Boy, just pure instinct, like looking into the mind of an animal.

The Beast grew still, low growls thrumming in its chest. It turned away from its helpless prey, awareness tingling in all its senses. He had just appeared in this strange place, full of the scents of unknown foes. Stinging pain along his hide. The scent of fear and blood, like a battleground. And noise, noise, noise. Noise crashing on his eardrums like the roar of sky-fire.

"It's okay," Raven said softly, in low soothing tones, saying anything, anything at all. It was the tone that mattered more than the content. She forced herself off the ground, her powers supporting her as she wasn't too trusting of her battered body at the moment. "Everything's alright." It wheeled around sharply, and its eyes narrowed at her form, her cloak rippling alongside her like the wings of a great bat. It raised its claws for a blow, and then a flicker of recognition spasmed across its features. Its arm fell slowly, doubtfully, and again she touched its mind. Nothing but a boiling mire of instinct greeted her.

Run. Fight. Protect.

She drifted closer to it, lighting down and limping slowly over to it. She didn't want to scare it with her powers, which was all too likely considering Beast Boy's reaction to her dark energy. She held her palms out where it could see them and felt the fight go out of it. "I know how this feels. You're confused and you're hurting. You don't know why."

It sniffed carefully, scenting into the wind. She froze as its hackles rose in stiff spikes along its back, but it wasn't looking at her.

Come on, Beast Boy, where are you? Raven begged silently, not that she would ever let it show. She needed him to reassert his control before the Beast snapped or worse, drained all his energy.

It wasn't safe for the she two-legs to be out and about here. This was not her den, and he could smell danger about. He moved forward on all fours slowly, his claws making a low scraping sound on the asphalt.

The Beast took in a deep breath through his nose, and pushed his snout into her hair. Yes, he recognized that smell…he waited a moment, and an image flickered across his vision-the she two-legs with him, speaking to him.  
>Run. Fight. Protect.<p>

She was a clan member, one of the pack...and special to him. He settled on protect and then drew back, puzzled. He did not understand. She was not running or screaming like the others. She just stood there, eyes closed, braced for a blow, but there was no fear-scent. Most things smelled of fear-scent when they saw him.

His moist snout glistened, and he sniffed around her, searching for injuries. A low growl rumbled in his throat and she became as rigid as stone. He didn't understand why she reacted in such a manner; he did not growl at her but at the scent of her sweet blood oozing sickeningly into the night air. He lowered his head and lapped at the injury with his tongue, until it bled no more. Satisfied, he whuffed, almost in a, it'll do manner, and then reached over carefully to grab her at the skin-which-was-not-skin at the back of her neck. She pushed his snout away gently, and he growled in disapproval.

"Stop it," she admonished him in a low voice, her fingers still in his fur. Her hands gripped either side of his head carefully, and she lowered his head until it was even with her. Her piercing night-sky eyes seemed to draw something from deep inside of him to the fore. He twisted his head free of her, and snorted.

Why was she wasting life-breath? Didn't the she two-legs understand that it wasn't safe-

He jerked around at the sudden change in scent but too late-a streaming bar of white light went past him, blinding him and singing his fur. He screamed a horrible keen, black spots pulsing before his vision.

Raven felt something strike her in the gut like a heated hammer. She flew backwards, crumbling the pavement beneath her. She could hear Dr. Light gloating, weakly, but gloating nonetheless—but she couldn't see a thing. Darkness had fallen on her vision, and her eyes wept tears she could feel gathering and rolling down her cheeks.

Idiot. He could have gotten himself ripped to pieces-she thought of the mad criminal, moving aside a few chunks of road which had fallen on her. That was of course, assuming that the Beast was still functional, and considering that it had taken the brunt of the blow that was extremely unlikely. Though Raven regretted that Beast Boy had come to harm at the villain's hands, she was strangely thankful that the Beast would no longer be present. And even without her sight, yet again, it would be ridiculously easy to subdue the doctor, now that whatever magic had been protecting him was gone. She stretched out with her powers, ready to reduce the villain to a man in a costume without weapons or armor but then-

A primal roar echoed off the landscape.

A/N: So….how much do you guys hate me right now? Such a long update…only fitting for an almost six month break from this story. I'm working out an update system even as I post this so that this sort of thing doesn't happen as often, but no guarantees. I know I've again thrown in another element which might frustrate you guys. I always found Raven's obscure past to be rather interesting, and it all does have a point, I promise you. So just bear with me if you don't care for it. If you do, let me know. And yes, the whole Beast Boy thing is going to be resolved soon in part. What Beast Boy thing am I talking about? His feelings for Raven of course! Not to mention the Beast… On a more random note, thanks for the 55 follows and 83 reviews so far! I feel extremely flattered and I'm glad people are enjoying the story!


	16. Chapter 16: Finally

Chapter 16: Finally

A/N: Ouch. One review so far in the course of my latest update. That's what I get I guess for making you guys wait AND throwing in another meaningless Beast Boy- Raven moment which makes you want to rip your hair out. Don't worry it will all come to fruition soon. This chapter is dedicated to Mr. Atrocious, who leaves amazing reviews and really helped me come to a decision about the existence of this chapter in my story. Also thanks to my only reviewer to my last chapter! I noticed that I'm having italics problems on the website, so all italicized commentary will now be written in single quotes.

Disclaimer: Teen Titans and all affiliated characters belong solely to DC Comics. Only the storyline is my own.

'No, no, no, no!' Raven's powers coursed along the floor, and grabbed the only living thing that she could find, flailing wildly and struggling against its bonds. The Beast. It had to be the Beast. He couldn't shed blood, never, not for her! She knew the Beast wasn't going to like it, and if Beast Boy didn't like her powers, there was no telling how the Beast would react, but she had no other option. She seized him and teleported back to the medbay.

She knew they had made it when she saw the white floors surrounding them. Her vision was starting to return, creeping in from the edges. She lowered her head onto her knees in relief and then jerked it up when she heard the sounds of things crashing and the growls ripping free from the Beast's throat. She witnessed him rip through three gurneys and the X-ray machine before he caught sight of her and relaxed. She admonished herself. She should have guessed he would act like that.

Groaning, she pushed herself to her feet.

"You didn't need to do that," she scolded him. "You knew I was there with you; I know you can smell me."

The Beast blinked at her. The she two-legs speech was senseless babble; why did she not know the language of the hunt? Perhaps he would teach her and they could howl at the moon together. But it was clear to him that she was angry at him. He did not know why. He had been defending her, just as he was supposed to do. Was she a cub still, that she didn't know there was danger about?

Again his surroundings had changed, but he ignored this; there was less danger here. He padded up to the she two-legs carefully, this time on his back legs. Still no fear scent. He liked that. All the ones who had fear scent when they saw him had attacked him and yelled in loud voices. He reached out to grab her and take her to safety but she pushed away his snout again. He made a low growl in his throat as warning, a growl which had sent many an enemy scurrying away from him like frightened rats. She needed to listen, not behave like a senseless young pup.

"No, I don't need protecting," Raven said, unsure if the growl was directed at her. But she didn't feel that she had anything to fear. True, there was an eight hundred pound werebeast standing in front of her, with six inch claws mere inches from her body, but for whatever reason the Beast liked her, and the only instinct she could sense there concerning her was a protection instinct, almost as if he was a large guardian. "You need to change back. This is only going to hurt you." Her tone changed just slightly with worry but the Beast's ears twitched. She feared for him and his safety? Why? Did she not know that this was a safer place than before, that he would do anything to protect her?

He reached forward again, and again she pushed his snout away. The she two-legs did not like it when he growled so he changed his strategy. He dropped his head to her level, standing on all fours now, and let loose a high-pitched pleading whine. If he had to beg, he had to beg.

"No," she repeated, and he huffed sharply. This strange sound, so sharp, this "no" meant bad things. It meant disobedience. It meant not listening to sense and instinct. He did not like this word "no". Her mood had changed again though, and he was pleased. She was no longer angry with him. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "You're plenty smart," she complimented him, "but I don't need your protection. I need Beast Boy back."

He growled in the back of his throat and towered over her. The hair along his neck stood straight up and his eyes darted to every corner of the room as if searching for danger. Raven hesitated, then sat back as she felt the Beast's presence receding from the fore of his mind, trickle by trickle, and then faster and faster, pouring backwards.

'Finally,' she thought. She had two worries concerning the Beast's form: the first being that, as Cyborg had said, the Beast was unlike any form of Beast Boy's and drained his energy to a vast extent. In other words, he could not live for long in that form. Then there was the second reason, which the team had yet to learn, but which Raven could sense with her empathy: every time the Beast was freed, it established a stronger connection with the physical realm which made it easier to return. After all, it was an incarnation of Beast Boy's instincts and had only the memories from primeval ages. But now it was establishing new memories founded by its physical experiences. And that made it easier for it to come back.

Suddenly, the Beast's presence, which had been seeping back into the depths of Beast Boy's mind, vanished with an abrupt painful jerk. She winced at the suddenness and turned her eyes to the Beast. It stood there for a moment, like an untouched statue, not a hair of it disturbed, its eyes unmoving, its fur not stirring….its chest not moving.

And then its eyes rolled up to the back of his head and it collapsed.

'Something's wrong,' Raven thought worriedly, kneeling at his side.

"Beast Boy," she said, shaking the furry mass, but he wasn't morphing back into himself. She shook harder. "Beast Boy!" A trace of desperation and fear crept into her voice. "Beast Boy, wake up now!"

As if on cue, his form shrank, bulging muscles reducing to leanness, claws becoming fingernails, hair growing backwards and leaving smooth unblemished skin. Beast Boy lay on the ground before her, clothed in a tattered uniform without his shoes. He still didn't wake.

"Beast Boy!" she snapped, an unusual hint of desperation coloring her tone. "Wake up now, or so help me I'll send you to another dimension-"

His eyelids fluttered as fast as hummingbird's wings, showing a sleepy and disoriented gaze. Relieved, Raven rocked back on her heels, moving just outside the line of his vision. Strangely though, Beast Boy didn't move, just focused his eyes on the ceiling tiles above him. She dared to read him with her empathy and was shocked at the intensity of revulsion, disgust and other darker emotions sweeping through and tainting him. His eyes filled with this tangled gloom, the purity and puerility of his gaze vanishing like clear water stained by oil.

"I did it, didn't I?" he spoke through numb lips. His eyes remained fixed upon the tile above him. "Who's dead? How many…?" The anguish over his face simultaneously touched her heart and sent a flicker of anger through her. He did not deserve to crucify himself for things he had not done! At a torturous pace, his eyes turned to hers. "How many did I kill?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, his face braced for the ill news.

"None," she replied shortly. His whole expression twitched, and hope kindled on his features before his face smoothed out again.

"Really, Rae," he said, and she could feel him shoving down the hope in exchange for despair. She pursed her lips. It would be now of all times that he chose to be realistic. "How many?"

"None. I made sure of that," she confirmed, crossing her arms and looking at him sternly. Everything within him lightened, yet the self-revulsion remained. She frowned and laid a hand on his arm to get his attention. It worked without a fault, even as she realized her mistake. His eyes widened, then trailed up from her hand to her face, and his mouth dropped open in surprise.

"That's enough of that," she said softly, before he could address her sudden contact. She wanted to reach within his mind and smooth the self-disgust and worry away but she would not invade his privacy. "There's no need to beat yourself up over what happened."

The corners of his mouth turned down and he shrugged his hand off of her arm. Raven felt her features twitch before she regained her stoicism; his aversion to her touch hurt more than she had thought it would. "Are you sure-though?" he asked, his hoarse voice quivering with ill-concealed fear. "I smelt blood, I know I did-" She stifled the urge to take his head in her hands and force his gaze to hers. 'Not now!' she snapped at her warring emotions.

"Gar," she said softly, daring to use the shortened version. This felt like the appropriate time to use it, if there ever was one. His name from her lips caught his attention as sharply as if she 'had' taken his face in her hands. "No one is dead." She allowed her dark gaze to penetrate deeply into his own, to affirm the truth he thought was a lie. "No one."

Relief swept through him and he stretched with renewed vigor, pushing his arms up over his head. Raven caught herself staring after a moment, and she looked away abashed. She was 'not' thinking about the way the suit molded to his body, no, not at all…

Beast Boy caught this sense of strangeness from the empath. She had averted her eyes. He sat up with a groan as his aching muscles protested and took inventory of himself. His tattered uniform was showing a 'lot' of skin, though still managing some semblance of decency. Raven's eyes were everywhere but in his direction and a light pink had crept across her pale cheeks. Things like nudity didn't really bother Raven, or at least, he didn't expect them to. 'So why is she blushing?!' he wondered.

Raven felt him staring at her as if realizing something and her eyes flicked towards him and then away. 'Now is not the time to bring this up…'she thought.

"Rae," he said, maintaining his distance, but for some reason she felt incredibly uncomfortable as if he 'had' drawn closer. It probably had to do with the intense way he was looking at her. "I think now's as good a time as any-"

She staggered to her feet, already knowing the words which were soon to spill from his lips. Unexpectedly, his grip on her shoulder forced her down again next to him. Her heart throbbed mercilessly. She couldn't handle this now or ever.

Love was not for her. She didn't get the fairy tale ending. After her last heartbreak she thought her heart might have figured out that it was time to pack up and leave; and just say goodbye to emotion altogether. But now 'this' was happening. And she wanted to say that it was just happening now, that it was just hormones even, but it had been the gradual fall which was now becoming more and more pronounced and the only way out of her predicament, the only way she knew how to deal with it was to distance herself from him. Love made him the thing most dear to her. It also made him a perfect weapon, a perfect target. It made him the closest being on this planet to her, and the most likely to get hurt if her demonic side ripped through. Which it had, and it would. If there was anything she was sure of, it was that.

"I just want to talk to you," he huffed sharply, bringing her back to the present. She stared straight ahead like a robot. "I've been meaning to for a while now," he began, the flow of words tripping and stumbling out of him and gathering speed, "but I thought I would wait because you're stressed and things are well, 'weird', but maybe all this will never go away and I can't keep on putting it off…Raven…" He murmured her name seriously and his fingers touched her cheek, his claws lightly grazing her skin. Sometime during his exchange as the Beast his gloves had burst to shreds. She shuddered, but he applied slight pressure, forcing her face to turn towards his. She took in one glance, then forced her face away from him again. Her hood rose over her head to shield her features from his probing gaze.

His hand fell from her face limply. "Don't even 'try' to go anywhere," he said angrily, as she made another attempt to rise. Her glare could have melted a hole in steel but it didn't faze him in the slightest. "You're not going to leave just because the rest of the team bursts in here or another alarm goes off. I'm sick of the interruptions. We are having this talk, right here, right now. " She snorted to maintain her façade and act disinterested. It nearly tore her to shreds.

"Raven, what's going on!" Beast Boy cried after a moment of studying her expression, the muscles in his jaw twitching. She didn't even respond to the increased volume of his voice. "I can't get you to look at me, let alone talk to me. You're acting like I don't exist." The fight left his voice, and a deep anguish filled his words. She faced him, feeling more prepared now with her emotions under lock and key, chained with iron and steel. "I'd rather you were mad at me," he whispered with a pouting lip and dejected slump to his shoulders. "I don't understand what you're so afraid of. Why do you keep running away?" His brows furrowed and his eyes glinted with emerald flames, threatening to set her on fire. She recognized the white-hot feeling of anger, licking at him in a conflagration. "You don't even know what I have to say," he hissed icily. "But maybe you 'do' know, and that's exactly why." His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Maybe you've been hopping around in my mind and I didn't even know it-"

The unusually cutting remark stunned her and before she could remember her 'no-talk' policy she snapped.

"I would 'never do that'! I don't just invade people's minds on whims or out of insecurities," she snarled, making eye contact. She knew it was a mistake; she knew that that was exactly what he had wanted, and the only reason he had made that little dig at her; so that they would be face-to-face. But it was a low blow and it was only a matter of time until he broke through the thin glass of her patience; he had always been able to do it so well even with the best of intentions.

Her explosion seemed to set off a chain reaction in him. "I didn't even 'do' anything!" he yelled back, flinging his hands in the air in a gesture of helplessness. "I just woke up to you touching my hair, like it's the most natural thing in the world, when it's you! You, Raven! If you give out hugs it's some incredible display of affection! And instead, instead-" he paused, panting for air and made a strangled noise at his inability to vocalize, "I find you doing that!" She opened her mouth to retort, but he continued on, his eyes earnest. "And now you're acting like it's my fault or something, like I slipped salt in your tea instead of sugar! Raven, I haven't even 'done' anything!" he cried, his words sounding like a plea.

For a little while, all that could be heard was the harsh see-saw of his breath, spent from his outburst. Raven sat there frozen by his words. How could she be so cruel? She wanted to push him away for his own good because the closer he was, the greater a target. But how could she have forgotten about Beast Boy? He didn't understand what was going on or where she was coming from. He was blind and in the dark, trying to read her and decipher the unspoken words and feelings. "I haven't been fair to you," she admitted hoarsely. Reluctantly, she pushed down her hood, and faced him, her gaze guilt-ridden and downcast. He recoiled from her slightly, his eyes widening at her gaze. She could almost feel the fear just pouring out of her in waves. "Isn't this what you wanted?" she laughed brokenly, before her raw voice turned bitter. "Here I am: vulnerable and exposed, Garfield. That's what you want, isn't it?"

His head shook slowly from side to side, and the tips of his ears drooped before he found words. "I don't want this," he whispered hoarsely.

"Good," she said curtly, and she pulled the shutters closed on her emotions with a final 'snap', allowing her stoic mask to reform. "Let's keep it like this then." She rose to her feet and he made no motion to stop her, stunned by her reaction to his outbreak. She proceeded to step forward and exit the medbay but a tug on her wrist drew her to an abrupt halt. Eyes flashing, she wheeled around, and snarled, "Let go!"

"Can we talk. Please." The defenselessness in his gaze and posture made her regret the harshness of her tone but she refused to take it back. It was almost as if their roles had been reversed; now he was exposing himself to her, the rare side of himself he let no one else see.

"I don't have time to listen to you-" she grated.

"Come on, Raven, give me a chance," he interjected but she plowed on.

"-and I don't' want to hear your whining or your teasing just because I decided to show a little affection. So if you please, 'let me go.'" Her burning gaze demanded compliance and comply he did, letting her sleeve slip free of his fingers. "Thank y-"

"Dammit, Raven, do you really think that's what I would do?" He sounded incredibly frustrated, and he fixed his eyes on her knees, before he lifted them to her face. "For someone as smart as you, you sure can be so stupid," he commented angrily, crossing his arms and turning his head.

She stared at him blankly, trying to process what he was saying. Her eyes slanted into slits. "I don't have to stand here and listen to you insult me. I don't have time for th-" Her voice died as she felt something in him still, and the turmoil of emotion quiet until she could only hear the roar of blood in her ears and the shuddering of her breath.

"Don't you know? Don't you get it, Raven?" he asked hesitantly. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes pouring out his emotions. "I'm in love with you." She couldn't form coherent thought. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. His head shook from side to side but his eyes were glued onto hers with an unwavering intensity. "So helplessly in love with you," he added with a bitter half bark.

TTT

Beast Boy felt the words leave his lips and he knew it was too late. Words could not be taken back; they could not be forgotten with a snap of the fingers. She knew everything with the sharpest most unquestionable clarity. He hadn't dodged around it, he hadn't tried to relate it to something else; he had refused to allow it to fall back into the confused muddle Raven seemed to lend to his sentiments. He had outright stated the undeniable truth of his feelings, so that there could not be even a shred of doubt.

It wouldn't be Raven though if she didn't try, in some way, shape or form, to deny it.

He watched her with no small measure of trepidation, his heart bare to her insults, derision, and indifference. Whatever she sent his way, it would slice him to pieces. Because she didn't feel the same way he did. She couldn't. That was what the small part of his rational mind had repeated over and over in his head for almost a year now, like her mantra. Her feelings for him had been borderline hate for the longest time, and they could now barely be called friendship in his eyes. She had yet to drop those barriers in their entirety and let him, or even somebody else in; the one time she had dared to left herself defenseless, 'he' had taken her young heart and ripped it to pieces. After that, for a long while after that, not even Gar could get her to drop her guard. And more often than not, she pushed him away, ignored him, or locked herself in the sanctuary of her room where she could be free of his prying eyes and ears and nagging voice.

But there were moments, there were these slivers of moments, where he caught this strange look in her eyes, or this immeasurable amount of emotion across her features; there were times when she looked at him in a way that made his heart skip more than usual, that made his heart whisper, 'See, there's hope after all.'

The fact that she had initiated contact with him, that she had been the first to 'touch' him, had been the metaphorical last straw. His mind tried to stop him, but he'd never been one to listen to his head much anyways, as she constantly liked to point out. He followed the tug of his heart; it was one of his flaws…as well as one of his strengths.

He had never seen so many emotions cross the stony expression of her face before. She reeled backwards in shock and her shaking knees gave out on her without a thought. Before he could move to catch her, or pull her back up to her feet, a tendril of ice-cold magic whiplashed sharply against his head, exacerbating his pulsing headache. He winced and pressed his fingertips to his temple, but she had withdrawn from his head. He wasn't sure what she had been looking for, the reality of the depth of his feelings or something else, but he let the breach of his privacy slide in the moment. She still hadn't rejected him! She still hadn't flat outright said no. She looked shocked beyond belief, her wide eyes a deep bottomless blue, like the depths of the night sky, darkening with emotion.

'With emotion!' some part of him registered hopefully. Emotion was a good thing, right? Could it possibly be-

Before he could complete that thought, black lightning radiated from her form, striking the ceilings, gurneys, walls, and cabinets. He flinched as one lashed towards him but it inexplicably missed, hitting the heart monitor machine behind him which exploded in a flurry of white-hot sparks.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Beast Boy cursed himself, crawling across the floor quickly towards her. He felt like he was pushing against a bubble of resistance but he forced one hand after the other, his exhausted muscles trembling uncontrollably.

He looked up at her. A wild wind snapped around her, sending her cloak aflutter and her hair whipped about her head in a halo of purple wisps. She had clamped her hands over her ears, as if struggling against a mental frenzy, and her mouth moved rapidly, uttering words without actually vocalizing a syllable. Her eyes though, gleamed white with the strength of her powers, not the demonic red he had been expecting. So she wasn't losing control then. She just didn't want him near her. Well, you'll have to do better than that, he thought stubbornly. He lowered his gaze to the floor tiles, and reached forward, pulling himself along the ground on all fours. One-step-at-a-time, he grunted, gritting his teeth as he pushed against the invisible barrier. When he raised his head again, his vision flickered with a memory.

And he didn't see Raven.

He saw Terra.

He saw Terra, cocooned in a twister made of rock slabs, her eyes glowing with the strength of her powers, her face contorted with outright fear. He saw a scared little girl, unable to contain the immense strength which lurked within her and afraid of what it would do.

He blinked once and the image vanished, but he understood.

Again he berated himself, moving towards her at a more frantic pace. Raven's powers were fuelled by emotion! She wasn't angry at him and trying to scare him off. She wasn't trying to keep him from her, not cognitively anyways.

She had 'no' control!

He lifted his hand and stretched out an arm to her, shoving against the barrier with all his might. His claws were a hairsbreadth from her skin, but he could not make the final push to reach her. He knelt there, his arm oscillating with the strength of her powers and weakness of his muscles, and his face contorted in a snarl. He winced as something metal clipped his aching shoulder, sure to leave a bruise but he did not pull back his arm.

"Raven!" he cried, trying to make himself heard over the roar of the wind. She let her arms fall to her sides and her face turned towards his, glowing eyes holding no emotion. Yet he could see, in the swirl of grit, the tear tracks down her cheeks. Another object whirled out of the storm before him, slicing across his cheek. His voice became a growl, and his eyebrows furrowed with concentration. "Let-me-in!"

A moment later his claws brushed over her cheek.

The instant he touched her it was as if she had lent him some of her strength or he became immune to the force of her powers. The barrier vanished. He crossed the rest of the distance between them in mere seconds and pulled her into his arms. She did not resist, but she did not reciprocate either. Her head fell limply against his chest, and he murmured her name soothingly in her ear. One of his hands clutched a the back of her head, holding her in place, while the other rubbed slow circles in her tense back.

The whirlwind about them stilled suddenly as if someone had pulled the plug on the whole operation. He felt her  
>trembling intermittently, and her hands came up and fisted in the material of his uniform right at the collarbones. She released a shuddery gasp against him and froze and he did the same.<p>

"Rae?..."

Unexpectedly, she shoved him off of her, holding him nose to nose with her by her grip at his collar. "You stupid, senseless, moronic, brainless, 'idiot'!" She shook him by the collar to punctuate each insult, like a dog shakes a rat. Her eyes were red, not a burning glaring demonic red, just the rims of them, as if she had been crying. "You can't feel this way about me. You 'can't! You absolutely cannot!' The desperation in her gaze demanded for him to take every word back, every word that had slipped past his lips, and he could smell this choking fear and anguish about her. Numbly he shook his head.

"But I do," he whispered back, star struck. He could feel her shaking to pieces. With a loud ripping noise all the pillows split and white feathers exploded everywhere. Like popcorn, the syringes and delicate glass vials in the cabinets went off, and the chairs and gurneys rocked back and forth on their legs, tap dancing to the rhythm of her powers.

Her dark brows formed a sharp V, and she leaned in so that their noses brushed. Her burning eyes had darkened further until they were almost black, pits of void shadow where blue once had been. "Don't you hear me?! Why won't you listen?! 'You 'cannot' feel this way about me'!"

"But I do," he stated simply, finding it so much easier to say again now that she knew.

Abruptly her hands released his uniform and her figure rose up and up and up, towering above him in a great shadowy spectacle. Yet her eyes glowed white as twin stars. Cold shadowy tendrils sprouted from underneath her cloak and lapped at his sides, stealing away his warmth and breath. Every instinct within him screamed in shrill voices to seek shelter but he pushed them away. Swallowing he said, "I do, Raven. You can't change it."

She shrunk and the light of her powers flickered and died. She knelt on the ground, her eyes downcast to her open palms which lay limply upon the tile. She looked incredibly sad and alone, like a lost child. Her eyes were now black as pitch.

"How can you feel this way about me?" she asked brokenly, catching and tripping over the words. Her voice was so soft; his ears tilted inwards to catch her words. "After everything? Despite who I am and what I've done to you? How many windows have I broken shoving you through them? How many times have I insulted you?" Her voice dropped to a raspy whisper that quickly faded. "How many times has my anger threatened your life?"

"Raven," he said pleadingly, trying to halt the flow of hateful words. He wanted to touch her, but worried at how her emotions and powers would react, he kept his hands tightly clenched in his lap. He swallowed hard. "None of that matters to me, Raven. It is what it is, crazy as it is." He half laughed, fang shining in the bright fluorescent lights. "I'm not asking you to return my feelings, and I don't want this to ruin our friendship, but I had to get it out." She didn't move, except for the occasional tremor which wracked her frame. His eyes saddened. "I know you don't feel the same way-"

"That's the problem."

He let the words die in his throat, unsure if what he'd heard had really come out of Raven's mouth. In a sharp movement he almost didn't catch, she tilted her head up and caught his gaze with her own dark anguished one. "That's why it can't happen. That's why this can never happen-"

"I get it," he muttered a little harshly. He didn't want to hear her start a tirade about how she could barely stand him, let alone like him.

" 'No you don't!' " she snapped. "You don't get it! I'm not afraid of your feelings! I'm afraid of 'mine'." Her voice dropped again to a soft vulnerable whisper. "I 'care' about you too much for this to happen." She dropped her gaze to the floor tiles, looking as defenseless as he felt.

Beast Boy's ears were tingling. Had she really just said what he thought he'd said? His heart felt like it was doing a little dance in his chest. This couldn't be real! This couldn't be true! For Raven to say that she 'cared', for her to say 'that', meant so much more than her actual words. It meant that she might actually, possibly, kind of, return his ridiculous feelings! It meant that his heart had won out over his head!

"So now you see," she droned softly. "Why this can't be."

"Why not?" he asked quietly, moving closer to her.

"You will only get hurt this way. I can't show emotions," she said, her voice dropping into that monotone, her black eyes filled with an unbearable hurt. "I can't even show you that I care," she added with a note of frustration. "Doesn't that bother you?" He opened his mouth to answer her question but she treated it like it was rhetorical and pushed on. "Find someone else, please, I'm begging you."

"You could learn to show emotion, Raven," he offered gently. He carefully took her hand, handling it as if it were made of porcelain. "We could both learn together."

As if a switch had been thrown, the temperature of the room dropped drastically until Beast Boy felt like he was kneeling on ice. He could see his frozen breath forming white plumes in the air before him. The voices of his instincts tripled in volume and strength and he heaved in a shuddering breath and another at the wave of fear.

Raven knelt before him, only the black of her iris had spread across the whites of her eyes, and her skin, while always gray, had become as pale as a ghost's. Her cloak had darkened to match the shade of her eyes, and Beast Boy felt her hand around his tighten, only her fingernails had turned into long claws. "I'm a demon, Beast Boy," she muttered into the icy stillness. Her voice was layered, like a knife scraping against steel, and he could see the fangs protruding past her lips. "I will hurt you."

He took a shuddery breath, but it felt as if he were choking in breath in the stifling cold that burned his lungs. "Raven, I don't care about any of that." He offered her a cocky smirk, or as much as he could manage in the chilling atmosphere. "I'm not that easy to hurt or kill, and you have more control than you think. You won't hurt me."

"So much faith…in a demon," she continued in her low voice. He really couldn't tell what her eyes were focused on with the way that they were, but her gaze made him exceedingly nervous. Not that he would ever show it.

"You're not a demon," he contradicted her. "Right now you look like something out of Underworld and I've seen that movie like twenty times. Seriously, if that's the best you can do, Raven…" he joked, grinning cheekily.

She snapped, like he expected her to, and the oppressive cold lifted off of them. Her form seemed to shrink, the color returned to her cheeks and her eyes and cloak became their normal deep blue.

His grin widened in triumph but she didn't lift her gaze to his. "You're missing the point," she murmured in a defeated tone. "You know what's going on right now, Garfield. Don't make me spell it out for you."

His mind flashed to their conversation on the belfry. "I'm in danger no matter how you look at it, Raven, whether that guy-" she visibly flinched "-is around or not. It's part of superhero biz," he continued and he couldn't help smiling so much; he felt lighter than air. 'She likes me back!' "All the other quirks that are a part of you—well I have my share of those to work out, and being with you is worth dealing with them."

"Don't be so sure," she rebutted in a lifeless voice. Her shoulders slumped with some defeat he could not understand.

"Jeez, Rae, you're acting like it's the end of the world," he said with a note of frustration. The smile slid off of his face but his teasing tone remained. "Just give me a chance. I'm not asking you to go out on a date yet, if you don't want to, especially with how crazy things are— just a chance."  
>She didn't even respond, just remained as she had been for the entirety of their argument, slumped on her knees as if frozen. "Rae?" he asked, worried by her non-response.<p>

"You really are an idiot," she muttered in a broken voice but there was a note of affection there. Or maybe he was just being a bit too hopeful.

"Hey," he whispered calmingly as he approached her frozen body. "It's going to be alright." He gripped one of her shoulders gently, and instead of kissing her like he wanted to—he had to take this slow—hebpulled her into his embrace. Unlike last time, her rigid body melted against him, and he felt her arms curl themselves around him.

"I really-'do' care about you," she spoke haltingly, her voice muffled by his uniform front. "I want you to stay away from me, as far away as possible, but I also-" her voice creaked-"'want' this. I'm horribly selfish."

"Raven," he said warningly and she didn't say another word. "You're anything but. And there's no reason why you shouldn't be happy."

"You really are stupid," she said gruffly against him, but this time there was no imagining the note of affection there.

A/N: What, did you really think a confession was going to go over well on Raven at this time with the way she is? I think it would be OOC for her to take it well! As well as OOC for her to just up and say "I love you too" when she is the way that she is. But there you go! It's been said, on both sides, and there's still quite a bit steam in this story for us to actually get into their relationship. Not to mention, where does Slade and his random building wrecking appearance fit into all of this? I haven't forgotten about him! I'm just very slow moving in my setup. :) Please drop me a review!


	17. Chapter 17: The Puzzle?

Chapter 17: The Puzzle?

A/N: You know I don't think I realized until just recently how long it has been since my last update. July…That's no excuse for it, I'm just a bit shocked myself. Please bear with me for part of this next chapter since I'm experimenting with a slightly different style. Let me know what you thought about it!  
>And many thanks to almostinsane who reminded me of my duty to update.<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any other characters of DC Comics. I also don't own the Underworld series (referenced in the last chapter).

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. This went on for several moments, just a tense heavy silence broken only by the faint noise of the analog clock in the room. After another moment, the sound of the latch releasing sounded, followed by the creak of the metal door opening. There were the light footfalls of someone entering the room, so light that the man inside the room almost missed them. They were the footsteps of a person accustomed to combat, accustomed to walking in a stealthy almost soundless tread, the footsteps of a person who both understood and appreciated the need for discretion. His entrance was punctuated by the slam of the door behind him.

Two chairs squeaked against the floor with a metallic scraping that set teeth on edge.

"Raven?..." The boy-detective's question hung in the air in an almost menacing chill.

Five ticks passed on the clock, seeming far longer than their supposed second length before the unspoken question was answered.

"I'll stand." Her rough emotionless voice cut through the silence and chilled the atmosphere further.

The rasp of shuffling papers offered Robin the opportunity to gather his thoughts. A moment later he spoke.

"Good morning, Officer."

"Good morning," came the timid reply from the third person in the room who was none other than its original occupant.

"We're just here to ask a few questions," Robin said soothingly, clearly trying to allay the nervous officer's fears. He continued robotically, as if he was reading from something. "You are free to stop us or leave at any time and you are under no obligation to answer any of these questions considering…your condition. Please realize that any information you can give us, no matter how insignificant it may seem, could help us in this case. Do you understand and agree to these terms?"

"Anything I can do to help." The answer, though bold and friendly in nature, still carried a tentative and questioning undercurrent.

"We're usually not so formal," Robin continued more warmly. "We just have to follow procedure on this to make sure you fully understand your rights in this investigation."

"I understand completely and am willing to help in any way I can," the officer replied and his voice had become stronger.

"Thank you." Robin again shuffled some papers, either looking for his written notes or trying to again gather his original line of thought. After a moment, Cyborg discarded the former—Robin was far too proud to write anything down, and furthermore he had no need for it—his mind stored each piece of the case better than the computer chip implant in Cyborg's own brain. Why of all things the boy wonder could do that, yet fumble around and ruin his relationship with Starfire so spectacularly without an inkling as to what he was doing wrong was beyond him.

Cyborg shifted slightly from where he was hunched over in one of the all-too-small chairs in the waiting room. He could have gone into the questioning as well, and seeing body language on top of hearing the conversation did help considerably but this man was not a criminal. He was both a witness, and a victim. He was one of the security guards Raven had found practically buried alive in an unnatural cave beneath the prison facility.

If this were a proper interrogation they would be in police HQ right now, in one of the famous interrogation rooms with the one-way window so he could observe the proceedings as well as hear them.

But this was such a delicate operation. This man was one of the few who remembered what had actually happened; the others seemed to have suffered from some form of short-term memory loss, possibly induced by trauma, and had no recollection of the break-in besides being huddled in the dark tied together and praying for their rescue. And of those who remembered this man was the only one willing to actually talk about his experience.

Too many people in the room could easily scare him, considering how timid and nervous he was. And they desperately needed answers—Robin was fumbling with no leads and no real clues. It all made about as much sense as Slade's random attack on the buildings had.

Cyborg was broken from his musing by the first of Robin's questions.

"First off, around what time would you say the attack took place?"

"It was-right after coffee break. Around ten, I'd say." Other than the slight stammer which Cyborg's speech analyses picked up the former security guard sounded about normal. That was good. Some of the others couldn't even talk about their former jobs, let alone the nature of the attack. And try though he had, Cyborg had garnered nothing useful from the feed or audio or security systems. This was their only lead.

"Where exactly were you?"

Something creaked as if the officer had shifted his weight and Cyborg picked up on a nervous swallow before he spoke again, more shakily than the first time.

"Second floor, routine walk down hallway 2-A." His voice had taken on a strangely mechanical quality. 'Uh oh. Better hurry up, man.'

Cyborg didn't understand it. He had seen criminals before, he had seen pretty much every run-of-the-mill villain there was. What exactly could drive a man to fear so desperately for his life, to come on the verge of madness just by considering it?

Well, there was one thing—Trigon had been a grim awakening to the evils of the world and Cyborg could see, under a certain set of circumstances, his very presence pushing some people over the edge. But no, no, it couldn't be…He was gone, Raven would tell them…

Though some weird things had been going on with Raven lately. Yet Cyborg had thought it safe to assume it was she and the little green bean working out their relationship.

He knew exactly what Robin was trying to do circumventing the ultimate question everyone wanted to know the answer to: What happened that day? He was trying to get the officer to thaw to him, to relax and answer his questions without tension or fears…and hopefully not snap like the others had. It was a slowgoing but steady approach.

He just hoped he got to the point before this one snapped too.

"Sir, I know this is going to be difficult," Robin prefaced, probably picking up on the officer's growing nervousness and deciding to cut to the chase, "but could you walk us through exactly what happened?"

One of the people in the room stopped breathing for a long moment. Then there was a shaky exhalation, quivering with hesitation and expectancy and fear.

"What-what happened?" the officer repeated Robin's question, his voice rising in pitch at the end of his question.

"Yes. Just a quick rundown," he added quickly. "It would help us immensely with the investigation…"

Cyborg picked up on the harsh see-saw of the former security guard's breath, erratically in and out, in and out. C'mon, man, you're running outta time. There was a faint moist sound, probably as the security guard attempted to moisten suddenly dry lips.

Cyborg's computer-chip tracked 33 seconds before the guard verbalized a response but it seemed infinitely longer.

"I-I can do that." His voice tremored and shook like a miniature earthquake had sprung to life in his throat but he had conveyed the words. Perhaps if these were better times and the situation not so dark, Cyborg would have pumped his arm and yelled his signature boo-yah! But as it was…

Robin sounded uncertain. "Please remember that you are under no obligation to assist us with this-"

"Tell us what happened."

Cyborg had almost forgotten she was in the room in the first place and would have missed her voice if he hadn't had enhanced sensory input. But he did hear, and the absolute brittle coldness with which she spoke turned the blood in his veins to ice, and made him feel as if frost had congealed on his robotic parts.

'Raven, tone it down, girl,' he thought, praying that she could at least sense his intentions if not his thoughts but Raven was probably too upset to pay attention to her surroundings. And if she was paying attention she was probably being overwhelmed by all the patients around them, mental patients for the most part. That couldn't be good for her head or mood.

Cloth rustled in the room as the officer shifted about, probably more than uncomfortable with the sudden shift in environment. And who could blame him? Raven didn't exactly rank up there on the list of people who would make-you-feel-the-warm-fuzzies. In fact, Cyborg didn't really understand why the boy wonder had allowed Raven into the interrogation considering her recent mood swings and volatile temper, but he had clung to the officers' reactions to Raven when they had rescued them and insisted it was of importance. As far as Cyborg was concerned, mental scarring did that to people and Raven didn't exactly make one feel right at home. Anyone who saw Raven and decided that her presence made them feel safe and comfortable belonged in a loony bin as far as Cyborg was concerned.

The officer gulped down a shaky breath and began.

"We didn't have any warning. We had the usual monitors up and there wasn't any activity at all. We have cameras stationed at all the possible entrances—" at this Cyborg drew up the digital blueprints in his head and had his computers confirm the officer's statement "—and weak points, so that we can monitor just about every angle. You-you 'have' to understand," he stammered, his voice rising in both volume and pitch and taking on a frantic note, "we picked up 'nothing'! We saw 'nothing'! There was no way of knowing that he-that he—" the officer choked off the last syllable in a ragged breath and Robin spoke soothingly, "Officer, please calm down." Just as Raven said dangerously, "Who is 'he'?"

Again, her voice barely rose above a whisper, but it carried a ringing power which translated as a burst of static on his auditory input. A tense silence followed as the officer caught his breath and Raven did not pursue her question—probably under Robin's stern glare for pushing the man too far.

"Just take deep breaths," Robin advised the hyperventilating officer gently. "I can find you a therapist or we can try this another time." Cyborg strained his ears (well, sort of his ears) but all he could pick up was the harsh breathing of the former prison guard trying to regain his composure.

"What happened next?" Raven clipped, her voice slicing through all sounds in the room. The officer's breathing came to a standstill and then he sucked in a shuddery breath. And another. And another.

"Raven," Robin began quietly, off to the side, probably so the preoccupied officer could not hear but the man began talking before he could finish his admonishment.

"It was—as if he appeared out of thin air! Nothing and then him. No warning, no signs, just him and—and—" He sucked in a large breath like a drowning man reintroduced to air and forged on. "He hit the feed first, we had nothing but static, no signals, and then!" He said the last word with such terrible import even Robin was pushed to pursue the topic.

"And then what?" he asked, voice quivering with unbridled anticipation.  
>"I-I-I—" the officer gibbered unintelligibly, clearly unable to continue, and Cyborg picked up on the boy wonder's tired disappointed sigh as he realized that he had pushed too far and wasn't going to be getting any more information.<p>

" 'Answer—the—question,' " Raven hissed and the cold icy tone of her voice swept the room into instant silence yet again, sweeping through his input with more than a burst of static—the feed squealed and hissed darkly in Cyborg's ears and he winced.

"Raven," Robin said warningly, this time with greater force, trying to tell her off.

"So dark, s-s-s-s-so c-c-c-cold," came the soft pathetic whimper that brought to Cyborg the image of Dr. Light after his first unfortunate tangle with Raven when she was in one of her worse moods. 'But no, it can't be!' He discarded the thought immediately—Raven had 'nothing' to do with this.

Something scraped against the floor with a metallic squeal followed by a shocking crashing sound as if someone had slammed their hands onto a wooden surface. " 'I'll show you dark and cold if you don't give us some real answers!' " she snarled gutturally.

Cyborg knew a cue when he had heard one. He burst out of the room he was waiting in, and down the hall at top speed, skidding to a halt before door 566 where he knew the interrogation was taking place. Without a moment's hesitation, he wrenched the door open, pulling it off its hinges and crumpling the doorknob in his haste—they could pay for that later—to find a shrunken but positively pissed off Raven in one corner, her rigid arms held taut at her sides, a relieved but angry Robin ripping into her, and the poor security guard curled into a ball in the corner, sniveling and cowering.

"—he was one of the few actually willing to talk to us and you're treating him like the enemy and losing every sense of professionalism. You know what we're trying to do here and you know the protocol—" the boy wonder was ranting. Raven stood there, tight-lipped, but taking it without a word of protest. Cyborg redirected his attention to the poor man trembling in the corner. He approached slowly with loud deliberate footfalls so he wouldn't accidentally spook him. The security guard flinched away from his approaching form as he crouched down beside the man and spoke soothingly in a low calm voice:

"Hey man, just relax, breathe. The nurses are comin' over and you won't have to ever talk about this again, I promise." The former guard's tight form relaxed slightly and Cyborg could catch the stream of words pouring from his mouth.

"So dark and so cold, so evil, so evil and it was him, him, I didn't think-he couldn't exist, couldn't be real—and a star—a star and so much fire, so much fire!" His words were gathering speed, stringing together and becoming gabbled, probably beyond comprehension but Cyborg's computers analyzed the speech, breaking it up and smoothing it out and feeding it back to him all in the span of .27 seconds.

"It's alright man, he ain't here," Cyborg spoke, hearing the medical staff arriving quickly bearing a gurney. He began to draw back and the posse of nurses and doctors surrounded the half-crazed man but a hand shot out and clutched his components at the shoulder in a steel grip.

The former security guard drew his face close to Cyborg's, his wide eyes wild and crazed, and spittle sprang freely from his mouth, "Like her, do you understand? Like her." He pointed one quivering finger towards where Cyborg's two teammates still stood, arguing, and his eyes searched Cyborg's for some kind of understanding, and the cyberkinetic teen could do nothing but nod, dry-mouthed.

"Like her, do you see?!" the man yelled hoarsely, struggling as the doctors and nurses sought to restrain him on the gurney. "'Just like her!'" Then he fell absolutely silent, eyes locked onto the ceiling as he was wheeled away.

Cyborg ran a hand over his face and shaved dome. "What a mess," he muttered to himself. The man's words, try though he might to dismiss them, rang in his head. 'Like her? Like Raven?' How could that even be? No one was like Raven. It pointed to only one explanation, that Raven herself…

'No, no, no, no,' he thought, pushing it away. That thought wasn't even up for consideration. Besides, the man had said like her, but he had clearly annotated that the perpetrator was a him.

But someone like Raven? It didn't make any sense. It was worth bringing up with Raven later, though; after all, he didn't know everything about her situation or really how the whole demon-human thing worked. Maybe it was possible that there was someone else like her out there, though he felt they would have already heard about it if that were the case.

He brushed the puzzle to the back of his mind for further analysis and turned to approach the duo in the corner only to find that Raven alone stood there.

"He went with the nurses to explain and apologize," she said stonily, correctly reading his facial expression…or his emotions as he approached.

"How're you feelin'?" he asked, peering concernedly into her face. His scanners took a quick read of her body posture and pulled up some analysis on the defensiveness of her stance, but he ignored it. He didn't need his circuitry to work through this problem.

To his surprise, she turned her face away from him, allowing a curtain of hair to hide her expression. "Why are you worried about me?" she asked scathingly. "You should be worried about the officer they wheeled away in a straitjacket." Her voice dripped with choking sarcasm and bitterness. And beneath it all, he could make out a note of regret. She hadn't meant to do that to him; things had gotten out of hand and her emotions had pushed her too far. She felt guilty.

"They didn' wheel him away in a straitjacket, girl," he said reassuringly. She would not make eye contact with him.

A heartbeat passed and then another and he broke the terse silence with a, "How 'bout we get somethin' t' eat? I could use a coupla steaks, a rack of spareribs, some brisket, oooo, and Bobby Chuck's has got that real good tri-tip," he rattled off on his fingers, all while closely scrutinizing her tense frame for a change.

Sure enough, it did the trick. She shifted, and her form relaxed slightly at the comfortable nonsensical talk. Most importantly, she turned her head and looked him in the eye.

"Beast Boy's going to throw a fit when he hears you ate enough meat for ten people again," she said flatly, maintaining a disinterested look. She swept out the door, the bottoms of her toes just brushing the floor as she levitated down the hallway with Cyborg in tow.

"Enough for ten people?" he cried, grinning widely and patting his mechanical stomach. "I was thinking twenty!"

They stepped out of the stifling hospital, moving towards his baby. Cyborg caught sight of the girl rubbing her temples just within his peripheral vision. "You alright?"

"Just—" she hesitated, probably weighing how much she wanted to reveal to him, "—the usual," she deadpanned. He nodded, knowing that the mental hospital had been taking its toll on her.

As much as Cyborg just wanted to make this food run and head back to the Tower—no extra worries or pressures—Robin had given him an additional task and he needed Raven to do it. It was for this reason that they were leaving boy blunder behind, and that Robin had ridden his R-cycle over rather than joined with them in the T-car.

"Y'know, while we're on the topic of the green bean," he said, his voice rumbling seriously while he mentally prepared himself for the explosion. "I didn' want to mention it around the little guy but with that 'cave'—" he said, putting a heavy emphasis on the last word, as he unlocked his baby and slid into the driver's seat "—I'm almost certain it's geo-kinetic."

He realized his mistake a moment later and waited for some precious component of his baby to burst into pieces or short-circuit but Raven just climbed into the passenger's seat next to him and shut the door—a tad too hard for his liking, but nothing had exploded yet, so he really couldn't complain.

The engine came to life with a smooth purr at his touch as he gauged her reaction. No visible one, which was impressive in itself. He pulled out of the parking spot and into traffic.

"Robin's right when he said that we shouldn't jump to conclusions," she said flatly, not even trying to entertain the idea.

"I'm planning to look into it further and maybe run some scans if you'd accompany me," he said. "And really, Raven, I would need your help to run anymore tests. That cave has no natural ways in or out and digging down into it could cause a structural collapse."

He kept his eyes glued to the road and his other inputs went into overdrive trying to pick up her response.

"I will do whatever needs to be done for this to be over," she said darkly.

'I know you will, Rae.'

Cyborg took a deep breath to prepare himself for the plunge and then dropped the bombshell before he could second guess himself. "We're going to have to tell Beast Boy."

Her head snapped towards him so fast he thought she would give herself whiplash and her eyes narrowed. "So what?" she brushed it off coldly. "You'll have to tell Beast Boy." There was a dangerous pause followed by a muttered, "Why are you telling me this?"

"I think we both know why."

Another deadly pause then:

"Cyborg, if you know what is good for you, you will not go where I think you're going."

He was not imagining the threat in her voice and his radio crackled at a pulsating wave of her dark energy.

"I'm not tryin' to go anywhere with this," he said, letting his frustration leak out. "But I know the two of you have gotten closer since…everything started happenin'."

"We're not closer," she stated slowly. She sounded strangely strained, or maybe one of his ear implants had gotten a bit frazzled from her energy. "And it doesn't matter to me either way what you choose to tell Beast Boy."

Both of his eyes came off the road and fixed on her. His mouth dropped open and hung like that as he glared at her in disbelief and shock.

"Hold up, little lady, I 'know' I did not just hear that outta your mouth," he began threateningly.

"That's a red light," she remarked blandly, not looking at him. His gaze flickered up to check briefly and then he hit the brakes a little harder than would be comfortable, jerking them both forward.

"OK," he announced a little angrily once they had come to a full stop. He turned his wide frame and put his full attention on the moody half-demon seated next to him, "Do you want to explain that load of BS you just tried to pass by me?"

" 'What' load of BS?" she growled out, and he could have sworn he saw a haze of red flicker across her gaze.

"That pretty little lie: 'It doesn't matter to me either way what you choose to tell Beast Boy.' " he reiterated, putting his voice into a girly and very un-Raven like falsetto. "What the— hell—was that?"

She had turned her gaze back onto the road and her features once again were closed-off and unreadable.

"Listen, Rae," he began, "I get that you've got your privacy and you want people to respect-"

"That's a green light," she cut him off calmly. Even after knowing her for so long he couldn't help but be thrown by how quickly she managed to reign in her emotions. He grit his teeth and set his gaze back on the road, peeling away from the intersection a little recklessly, but he didn't care. It was an outlet for the frustration and annoyance he was feeling. After driving for a few silent minutes he released a low pent-up breath and let go of his anger. Raven was having a rough time and he wasn't making it any better by becoming angry—someone had to keep a cool head around here.

He was prepared to apologize or at least try to approach the topic more gently, when Raven spoke up.

"I lied." Cyborg held his breath, not daring to breathe, and certainly not daring to speak and ruin Raven's resolve. "I care more than I care to admit." Somehow she maintained a bland emotionless tone throughout, but her voice quivered on the last statement and that spoke in volumes. "I don't want him hurt." With anyone else, it would have come out with a lovesick note or trembling lip and shaking voice but with her it came out sharply and aggressively as through she were attacking the statement itself. Her eyes burned into his, daring him to say something about her sudden concern but he had known for a while now and he had never wanted to tease her about it. Besides, he didn't want to see the little grass stain hurting either.

And it would be so easy too. The green changeling was grounded to the Tower for the time being, and he had spent the last twenty-four hours in his bed passed out. His rampages as the Beast always took a lot out of him and this time was no different. They could easily fill Starfire in and leave him out of the loop and he would be none the wiser, especially if this geokinetic lead turned out to be false. Then they would get him all worked up and upset for nothing…

But to lie to his best friend? To look him in the face and joke and smile when he, Cyborg, knew that Beast Boy would want to know this piece of information, and would not appreciate being left out of the team? He couldn't stomach it.

"Rae," he spoke gently, treading on broken glass, "I know why you want to keep this from him, I would if I could, but to not tell BB, that's just…wrong." He slid his gaze to her for as long as he dared. "Would you have me go back to the Tower," he continued wearily, "look him in the eye and pretend everything is alright? Would you have me lie to him, just to protect his feelings?"

He chanced a glance at her and the disturbing clarity of unveiled emotions that shone through shocked him to the core. A spark of rage, quenched by a strange ancient sorrow, all cloaked in this grim determination-her eyes poured out these emotions, for once open and not shadowed by the desperate hold on her emotions.

"If you have to."

Cyborg felt a great weight settle upon his shoulders. If only he could.

A/N: I know, I know, bad ending for a chapter, but honestly, I couldn't find a way to end this chapter because otherwise the next part will make it MUCH too long. I assure you the next part will be coming soon, and when I say soon, I mean SOON, as in, it is mostly written and planned out, so anywhere within later today, to next weekend. Btw, the single quotes mean italics since the formatting still doesn't work. And I realized that I lost all the formatting during the upload and it was a bit hard to read so I did my best to fix it.

How was the characterization of Cyborg? He's a bit of a struggle for me to write…  
>Is Terra involved? Who is this he the security guard refers to and how can this villain drive a person to madness? Could it be Raven? Till next chapter!<p>

I know I don't deserve your reviews, but if you can find it in your heart to drop me one, and let me know how I'm doing...


	18. Chapter 18: Some Clarification

A/N: My muse keeps dying and I'm afraid that it's a bit of a struggle to find these chapters but after a longer wait than I promised, I finally caught a bit of inspiration! Things are about to get pretty exciting soon within a chapter or two (I think)…

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of its characters; those are the sole property of DC Comics. Nor do I own any other non-original references made throughout the story.

Chapter 18: Some Clarification

_ The first thing Raven knew without a fraction of a doubt was that she was dreaming._

_ She was wary because she had never really been able to tell before when Satan came and the place in which she had materialized was not the normal cool emptiness, but a heavy stifling darkness that seemed alive. It pressed in on her on all sides and yet she sensed no malevolence from it. It was not darkness as an extension of evil, but something far older and more primeval than that. She could hear whispers that were not whispers—tribal songs, the muffled snarls of wildcats, the moans of underwater behemoths, the unfettered cry of some winged thing—the voices of the wild. They coiled and twisted around her, offering themselves to her in ways her human half could not quite understand—and she did not dare unleash her demon. _

_ And it all seemed strangely familiar._

_ Even though she had no body, she felt as if her skin was beginning to itch, prickling with sweat in the humid atmosphere and every breath threatened to stifle her. _

_ It clicked a moment later._

_ She was in Beast Boy's mind._

_ But this was not a pure mental connection, this was something else. Perhaps she had unconsciously reached out to him in her sleep and pulled him in with her. Or worse she had crossed that boundary which Azar had warned her to never cross and had entered his dreams without his permission._

_ By Azar what sort of protector was she? She had dragged her innocent teammate back into the spotlight and put him somewhere dangerous. She could not even protect her own mind from Satan's attacks and now she could have drawn his attention to Beast Boy in the worst way or destroyed any small protections he might have had from Satan through this mental connection. She had unwittingly established it when she had pushed the Beast further into Beast Boy's mind, without regard for the consequences. _

_ And furthermore, she had violated his mind now. It didn't matter that it was unintentional—a sin was a sin, regardless of the intent in her eyes and she had entered his mind without his say-so. Minds were not trifles to be toyed with, nor were they reserves into which any magician could or should delve simply because they could. They were private sanctuaries and crossing into them went beyond the simple crime of trespassing—it was reaching out and touching someone's very essence and potentially influencing or changing it. It was the most protected and nontrivial of sanctuaries and she had just entered that of one of her closest friends without a misgiving or hesitation. _

_ She didn't care if she brought herself to some night terror or face-to-face with her tormentor himself, she was going to get out right now and leave as little trace of her presence as possible. She gathered herself to do so but unlike in most of her dreams where she found herself pushing against the bubble of sleep, there was no confining barrier. Rather something seized her and held her presence immobile in this half-state. Frustrated she tried to rip herself away but the presence shook her a little, and she realized what exactly it was in that instant and froze. _

_ A long growl coiled around her and the voices of the instincts grew more excited, their frantic whispers increasing in strength. _

_ She had been wrong._

_ This wasn't just Beast Boy's head._

_ This was the Beast's domain._

_ She looked for it but there was no sign of the pale lifeless eyes of the Beast. Yet she could sense its presence rearing over her, trying to establish its dominance. She neither rose to challenge it nor allowed the press to continue until her submission. She held her ground._

_ "Beast Boy." Her voice was a stern reprimand and the Beast reacted accordingly, its growl cutting off as suddenly as if a switch had been thrown. She felt some of the mounting pressure lift to be replaced by tendrils of curiosity._

_ "Were you trying to scare me?" she asked scathingly, as if the very thought of it was laughable—which considering her own true side it kind of was. _

_ Blotches of color formed before her eyes and painted themselves into familiar shapes—verdant ferns underfoot, vines and other growths hanging down from mind-staggeringly tall trees where the sunlight barely peeked through. The chirp of insects and howls and cries of other creatures provided the auditory backdrop and the wet pungent odor of damp dirt and growing things and decaying things all rolled into one filled her nostrils. This was the Beast's private sanctuary. She turned about, taking in the lush jungle, and caught sight of the Beast pacing slow circles around her form about twenty feet from her._

_ The muscles of its raised forefoot uncoiled as it planted the paw on the ground and then froze. A wind blew past them, whipping Raven's cloak around her ankles and ruffling the Beast's emerald green coat like a plain of grass on the prairie. Beyond that it did not stir and Raven thought she felt some other presence tickling the back of the mindspace before it withdrew. The Beast blinked once and sat back on its haunches. After regarding her for a moment, it tilted its head at her with ears pricked. The image was so reminiscent of a puppy, albeit a puppy with the body of a wolf, and the mane to rival a lion, not to mention the size of a bear. She couldn't help the smallest of smiles from tilting her lips. In fact, the look was so strangely Beast Boy… Following that line of thought, she opened her mind further but to her disappointment could feel no trace of the changeling in the creature before her._

_ "You're holding me here, aren't you?" she asked it, crossing her arms. Its ears drooped at her disapproving tone and again she was struck by the similarities to her teammate. 'This is not Beast Boy,' she reminded herself before forging onwards. "Let me go. You're putting your host in danger."_

_ If it understood any of her words, it seemed to scoff at the notion. Like an arrogant cat, it lifted its forepaw and began licking at the fur of its wrist, its eyes on her the whole time. The haughty cat-like impression made her smirk. It was so like Beast Boy to try and piss her off by minimizing the threat she presented to him—she shook her head. The Beast was Beast Boy's instincts. Beast Boy was another being entirely. _

_ "Can you take me to Beast Boy?" she asked gently. It didn't drop its paw but made a low rumble in its throat. _'What is the use to this?' she thought. 'I can't tell if it understands me or not—it is instinctual, not sentient.' _Yet she knew that wasn't true. She had felt understanding and thought process behind the Beast's actions and it confused her. Two sentient beings in one host body could and would not end well. It was an abomination. Only one could survive and only one could be dominant for any period of consciousness. Yet the Beast integrated itself into Beast Boy's actions and yet they acted like two separate units. How could this—_

_ Raven wheeled around as she felt the unknown presence from earlier announce itself. Fear clogged the words in her throat and her stomach felt as if it had dropped out from under her._

_ "Amazing creature, isn't it?"_

_ Satan had come._

_ And it was all her fault._

_ She didn't hear the Beast's movement behind her but she felt it and the speed for a creature of such size was astonishing and quite frankly terrifying. She had a fraction of a second to decide how to deal with the fast approaching Beast behind her—but she didn't even consider a course of action—she trusted it completely maybe because it was part of Beast Boy, or maybe because it had only ever protected her. This might have struck her as odd had she not been so preoccupied with what was in front of her._

_ Satan tipped his hat at her. His suit and fedora seemed inconspicuously out of place in the jungle setting. He wasn't sweating or uncomfortable looking at all, despite the fact that he was fully clothed, but then again why would he be? It was a lot hotter back where he was from._

_ The next moment the Beast reached her and she found herself caged in the protective circle of his arms. Her back was pressed against the fur of his chest and she could feel the tight barely controlled growls vibrating through her. She could hardly see Satan's form from the gap between the fur covered arms and her situation certainly wasn't making for a very intimidating position._

_ But she was in a different environment. She was partially grounded in reality, the reality of Beast Boy's mind, and Satan's influence was considerably less here. And furthermore, he had no control over Beast Boy beyond what the changeling gave him—he had no demon's blood like she did. _

_ Her powers didn't even flare to life around her. She didn't dare to whisper her mantra and besides her intent was crystal clear and she did not need the extra focus those words lent her. She knew exactly what she was going to do._

_ She ripped a small hole in the fabric of the Beast's sanctuary back to the outside—a teleportation hole if you wanted to look at it that way—just behind Satan and shoved him hard towards it. Surprise was etched on the devil's features as he was hit by the gale-force push and flung back out of the hole. She then proceeded to reknit the torn edges and restore the mental state when—_

_ She slumped over in the Beast's hold, his arms the only thing holding her up, as the spasms of pain split her frame. She bit her tongue and clenched her jaw to keep silent but the soft whimpers escaped her throat and a cat-like scream of rage burst from the Beast's throat. Through hazy vision she watched as a clawed hand, dark crimson and scaled and monstrous, gripped the edge of her open portal and pulled. She blinked for one long dreary moment and could not stop the hoarse screams from tearing out of her ragged throat as the pain intensified, liquefying her insides in unquenchable fire. The Beast released an ear splitting roar that shook the world around them and sent waves of fear rippling through her. It lifted her up so gently, mindful of its deadly claws, and her face pressed into the soft musky fur of its shoulder. She tried to push a hand against its chest to restrain it so that it would not attack—this was not a foe that it could face—but nothing intelligible beyond whimpers came forth from her throat. _

_ The Beast snarled a challenge to Satan, who was standing there calmly, the portal gone and closed. Even in her pain-filled state she recognized that both his hands were completely normal._

_ "That wouldn't have had to happen if you were just a bit more accommodating," he sniffed disdainfully. "My," he said, looking her up and down and taking in her position, scooped up in the Beast's arms. "You're awfully trusting, aren't you?"_

_ She did not deign that with a reply. She prepared herself to touch her powers again and throw him out of the mindscape at whatever cost to herself when he spoke as if he sensed her intentions. _

_ "That wouldn't be too wise. And you have no need to worry; I have no business here. My only business is with you." She tried to uncurl her form from the Beast's arms and stand, the residual ache making her gasp, but the Beast's arm at the fold of her knees tightened like a band of iron. _

_ "You're the one who dragged him into this," he continued, tipping his head at the Beast. "And if you choose to stay with him here, you may find that you're not really as safe as you think. After all," he said, pacing closer, and she noticed that the jungle had fallen silent, not as if it sensed the coming fight, but as if everything had been cut off. She felt herself become hyper aware of the Beast's chest pressed against her aching body and his diaphragm did not move to take in air. Satan had frozen them all in time. "He's nothing more than a glorified animal. I mean, look at him. Beast Boy. As if he were half beast and half boy. But he has millions upon millions of animal forms and only one form to anchor him to humanity. It's an impressive feat being able to turn into all those creatures but at what a cost! Do you know why?" _

_ His dark black eyes glittered at her malevolently as he approached, now close enough to touch. She thrashed futilely in the stone prison of the Beast's arms in an attempt to kick him or inflict some sort of physical pain—stupid and pointless, she knew, but she wanted the satisfaction—but stopped as her whole body screamed in protest. _

_ "You know as well as I, that he has no free choice," he said, his words dripping with satisfaction. Up this close she could see the darkness of the stubble beneath his shave, and his pointed incisors. "Every animal listens to their instincts and if those instincts were to change…"_

_ The voices she had heard initially came back in a whirlwind of sound, but their intent had darkened and become bloodthirsty. She knew the beast could rip her to pieces in this mindscape and she would survive but the mental scarring? She didn't think she would be able to trust Beast Boy again. The strange thing was that she didn't care. Even as the instincts became more malevolent, thirsting for the hunt, and the kill, and blood, she couldn't make herself feel fear. _

_ The Beast would never hurt her._

_ She trusted him with her whole being. Even if it would be her downfall, she could not bring herself to do otherwise._

_ Satan reached up and stroked the top of the Beast's head. Of course, there was no reaction, frozen as he was in time. "What happens when I make your little pet mine?" he leered at her, pointy grin widening as he rocked back on his heels._

_ Anger exploded in her, a more violent reaction than she could have anticipated. "He's not my pet and he's not an animal!" she retorted, her grating voice harsher from her earlier screams. _

_ "My, possessive, aren't we?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Now then, m'lady," he said, sweeping into a half bow, "you and I are going to have our little discussion in our usual place without any more distractions…" He reached forward and began to free her from the prison of the Beast's arms even as she clung to it, knowing that it could do nothing for her. She lashed out, both physically and with her powers, and that earned her nothing more than another bout of pain which had her vision flickering black and red. The world became a blurred and indistinct outline, and she distinctly remembered feeling Satan's sleeves whispering against the fabric at her back as he placed his arms beneath her to lift her from the Beast's arms._

_ She gathered herself to strike, to fight, no matter the cost even as she broke her rules and allowed a useless plea—to what she did not know—to pass her lips. _

Please, help.

_Everything snapped._

_ The jungle was alive again with screams and animal cries and the Beast had awoken as well. It growled deafeningly, and she heard a _thwack _sound and glimpsed Satan staggering back, with the three quickly fading claw marks across his left cheek. Fury was etched into every line of his face and his eyes became dark pits filled with flame. _

_ She recognized the transformation which was about to take place and flung a barrage of her energy towards him to distract him. She knew he would do nothing more than absorb it or dissolve it but she could only hope it would buy the Beast a moment's headstart. _

_ She turned her face sharply towards the Beast's._

_ "Drop me, _now!" _she ordered it. It was an undeniable command and the Beast had done nothing but heed her before. She could not risk him coming to harm for her sake. Whatever tortures Satan had devised, whatever horrible scenarios- she could withstand it. She would awaken eventually. But Beast Boy…she could not risk his protection like this, like she already had by selfishly connecting with him. She felt a tug at her navel which threatened to jerk her from the Beast's arms. The creature did not even look at her, its eyes scanning the woods briefly._

_ "Let me go!" she cried more desperately, layering her voice with as much power as she could muster. The tugging sensation intensified._

_ It didn't listen._

_ The Beast curled one long arm under her form and then turned heel and took off into the woods, loping along on three limbs faster than she could imagine. She knew in part that this was not real and that distance in the mind could be crossed in any length of time the dreamer desired if it was his own mind, but it still impressed her. She tried to feel out behind them for the imminent arrival of Satan but the colors of the jungle about her were shifting._

_ The sounds of the jungle world faded away into nothingness and the color drained back out of the world. She could still feel the Beast's arm around her and hear the labored rasp of its breath and feel the pound of its heart but she could not see it. She was again surrounded by darkness._

_ But this darkness was again different. _

_ It was not the darkness of the Beast's domain, but darkness like a sheet of black glass, the darkness of distance and space. The emptiness began to fill with pinpricks of silver light, some shaded with emerald or ruby color like jewels. The stars formed familiar and foreign constellations tracking across the sky and all of sudden she realized that she could hear neither the Beast's breathing nor feel its presence but there were still arms around her._

_ A familiar voice murmured soothingly in her ear._

_ Part of her wanted to collapse in relief. She recognized it, in the very way every syllable was spoken, to the timbre of it. The other part wanted to give him the worst tongue lashing of his life. If she could conjure up an imaginary window, she would, without a doubt, fling him through it. But the other half of her which was shaken up and emotional won out. _

_ "Beast Boy?" she asked faintly, feeling unconsciousness coming to claim her. The arms around her had become Beast Boy's and though she still could not see him, she could feel the warmth of his presence. She was no longer in danger of being wrenched from him and the tug from Satan had vanished._

_ The arms about her form tightened and pulled her in closer to him so his body sheltered her._

_ "You're safe."_

_ And she knew that she shouldn't, she knew that this was no more than a temporary sanctuary, and that she had betrayed his trust besides and was lying and manipulative and willing to keep things from him—but she believed him and let her mind float free in the emptiness._

She wasn't sure what exactly awoke her—her own drifting mind pulling free from sleep, the pounding headache, or the trill of her communicator buzzing at her waist. She released a long sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to clear her head, which still felt half-asleep, and reorient herself. It took her a moment to gather her bearings, which was more than unusual for her—she always had a good sense of her position in both space and time but lately she had been losing that feeling—probably from lack of sleep. She felt disconnected and confused and she couldn't shake the feeling. That and her mind, despite her best efforts, still felt half-asleep, making the slow swim to consciousness. The memory of Beast Boy's arms around her lingered and she felt the warmth in her cheeks before she banished the feeling and focused on the task at hand. Her brow furrowed, trying to work through her thoughts while her brain moved at a glacial pace.

Where exactly was she? With Beast Boy…in the medbay? No, that wasn't it—Cyborg, something to do with Cyborg, and the reason for this terrible headache…

Then it came back.

The mental hospital. The security guard. Madness seeping into her with its twisted taint. Cyborg driving. The prison. Terra's possible involvement.

She moved too quickly, lifting her head from where her temple had been pressed into the cool glass of the window, and hissed as the motion exacerbated a crick in her neck.

"I was wondering if you were going to answer that," came the rumble of Cyborg's voice. She quickly took note of her surroundings, trying to place herself and frowned. She could still feel the blush staining her cheeks and she made a concentrated effort to smooth the emotions from her face. The warmth lingered just like the memory of his lean arms around her shoulders, providing her comfort and the promise of protection—

_Azar, help me, _she cursed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. "How long was I out?" she asked while still confined to the darkness of her eyelids. Her hoarse voice sounded even more unpleasant than usual.

"Not long," he said. She knew he was either lying or his definition of time didn't fit hers. It took at least an hour's drive to reach this complete desolation and emptiness which now surrounded them. An hour didn't seem like much but it was sixty minutes in which she had abandoned them to their own feeble protections against the enemy. 3600 seconds of opening for Satan. Not that she did much good anyways, but she knew her presence with the Titans held more import than Satan was willing to give it; she could think of several disasters and one lost life that she had managed to prevent.

She silently berated herself while keeping the emotion from her face. She didn't get little rest breaks and breathers. Every free moment was an opportunity and she could not afford for there to be more such openings. She had to protect them. If that was all her presence could offer them, then so be it.

The communicator beeped on but she ignored it and chose to instead focus her gaze to the outside. She knew she was bound to be on the receiving end of one of Robin's infamous lectures for her negligence and how the communicator was not a toy but a very serious tool and needed to be treated as such…but she needed a moment to regather herself. If it truly was that urgent, whichever Titan was calling would have pressed the Alert button. "Where are we?"

"On the way to the prison." Cyborg's dark right eye chanced a quick glance at her though he probably could afford to stare at her if he wanted to—his left eye could overcompensate for the loss of function in his right and besides the car had an autopilot system.

"I could have teleported us there in a fraction of the time," she stated coldly, her words clipped.

"Rae, you're gonna kill yourself if you keep thinkin' like that. It's not like we have any leads to go off right now and 'sides you're dead on your feet." There was a pause and then, though his upper body remained facing the steering wheel, his right eye flicked down to her waist where the buzzing of her communicator had ceased. His one brow crooked in surprise. "You gonna answer that? Or at least call back?"

She crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. "If it's important, they'll call back." Cyborg's eyebrow went up even higher though he refocused his gaze on the road.

"What is it?" she asked gruffly.

"I didn't say anything!" Cyborg replied a little too defensively.

"Cyborg, your eyebrow is about to fly right off your face," she stated drily. Cyborg shook his head slowly, his lips curving upwards.

"It's nothing, you're just in for a whopping lecture from mother hen Robin when we get back to the Tower," he said with a smirk. She knew he was only grinning like that because he and Beast Boy were on the receiving end of said lectures for the most part because Starfire followed Robin's word like it was law, and Raven felt that Robin's rules were practical and that they followed a common rationale which she would not break under most circumstances anyways.

There was a brief pause and then she delivered her typical one liner in an utterly deadpan tone: "Aren't you the mother hen?"

She left Cyborg spluttering and fuming next to her as her thoughts turned to the person who made such jabs possible…

_Beast Boy. _

She just didn't know what to do about him.

Her first consideration upon waking had been to teleport straight back to the Tower just to teach that idiot a lesson. She didn't care if she cut into his recovery time or woke him up while sleeping or whatever; he hadn't listened to her in the dream and had involved himself more fully by pulling her back with him into his mindspace. Though it was still a safe haven for her (though how much longer that would last she could not guess), and he had saved her from further torment and torture, he had simultaneously painted a bull's eye on his forehead. He had made himself a target through his intervention and drawn attention to himself when Raven had been trying so desperately to keep all of Satan's attention on her.

But she couldn't find it in herself to hold onto that anger. In all honesty, she was to blame—she had involved him in the first place and he had only done what came as naturally to him as breathing—he would do anything for his friends, no matter the cost to himself. She could not expect him to just stand by and watch her suffer.

It brought to the forefront her guilt and her shame began to gnaw at her. She was again violating all sacred rules and rights, breaching age old laws and doctrine. For as long as there had been telepaths these rules had been set in place and Azar had taught her well, until she could recite every word of these age-old laws on the protections of the mind. And she still was breaking these rules left and right.

Her communicator trilled at her again and Cyborg shot her a sidelong glance. "It's you, not me," he assured her. She unclipped it from her belt and stared at it for a moment as she reordered her thoughts. A very small part of her, not dampened by her guilt complex, hoped that it was Beast Boy who was calling, for a multitude of reasons, the most important being her desire to hear his voice and be certain that he was doing well. _And at the very least he'll put me in a better mood, _she thought, _or at least snap me out of _this_ mood,_ she added, considering how Beast Boy's silly nature sometimes drove her to the edge of insanity. That thought in turn, brought up the hazy image of the former security guard screaming wildly in his madness and she shuddered before flipping open her communicator and seeing most assuredly that it was _not _Beast Boy.

She really shouldn't have gotten her hopes up but a joke or two would have been nice—

And unlikely now that she thought about considering that he had just confessed to her and she had practically confessed to him and everything was bound to be awkward and strange between them…

Why did she have to mess everything up?

"Yes, Robin?" she asked neutrally. To her surprise, the Boy Wonder did not make any motions to chew her out for ignoring his initial call.

"I've been meaning to talk to you for a while now." She remained silent. Raven was almost certain she knew what he intended to talk to her about—her lack of control—and at this point as the team leader he had every right to address her about it. Whether or not she agreed with whatever restraints would be placed on her was another matter entirely.

The Boy Wonder took her silence as acquiescence to continue and he forged on. "There are several things I've been meaning to address with you privately but circumstances haven't really allowed us the opportunity. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing this over communicator or with anyone else present."

He paused just long enough for her to catch Cyborg murmuring for her ears alone, "I can have really selective hearing, if you want, Rae—" probably referring to shutting down his auditory inputs but that was hardly necessary.

"No. Whatever Robin has to say to me, he can say to us both." Her steady gaze met Robin's with a hint of challenge and Robin nodded slightly in acceptance of her defiance before continuing sharply.

"I know that you're currently on a mission right now, and I intend for you to fulfill this but don't think that this means you're off the hook, Raven. The instability of your powers and the fact that this hasn't been fully addressed let alone _fixed _means you're not fit for the field. It's dangerous to put you out there, do you understand?" Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't patronize me, Robin. I know fully well, better than any of you, the risk I pose to this team." And she _did. _She constantly felt the pressure of this internal struggle but even more so the choking fear that the only family she had would be hurt, or worse, by her own hands. Her inner demon, in truth, did not hold anger as much as it did a surreal passiveness which showed its true nature better than its anger did. It did not care about anyone or anything and it certainly did not care about her teammates. It didn't even care about itself—as long as it completed Trigon's tasks and fulfilled that duty, it was complete.

The Boy Wonder sighed and deflated and for a moment he looked like an old man, burdened by too many worries and responsibilities. "You know it's not my intention to patronize you, Raven, I just need to get this out and let you know why I'm stuck in this situation. I won't lie to you—" he raised his head and let his hand drop from his nose "—I don't approve of this. And that's why as soon as you've completed this last task, you're back to zero duty hours here at the Tower." He raised a gloved hand in a stopping motion. "And before you can argue that it will be equally dangerous to be so shortstaffed, we've finally got Aquadlad and Speedy here with a bit of backup—"

"Not Bumblebee?" Cyborg interjected, and clearly his mouth had moved before his brain as a guilty _oops _look transfigured his face. He withered under the force of Raven and Robin's combined glare, mumbling, "Don't mind me I'm just the driver."

Raven turned her attention back to the screen as Robin picked up from where he had left off as if the interruption had never occurred, "and unfortunately we weren't able to get Bumblebee's help, but the Titans needed some form of team lead and Aqualad and the twins don't always get along." She almost smirked at that. Mainly, because the two fast talking speedsters went to great lengths to torture Aqualad with the mass consumption of his former underwater friends, mainly in the form of fish tacos. "All things aside, you're a liability to yourself and your teammates out there—" her mouth formed a grim slash at this but she allowed him to continue—"and you are only being permitted to complete this task because you're the only one able to do it and this is potentially time sensitive due to the structural instability of the cave." His gaze sharpened. "I don't really have any control on what you do once you go down there but promise me that anything else after this will be strictly detective wise, _limited power use, and no fighting_ until we get to the bottom of this problem."

She didn't even entertain the possibility. "I make no promises."

The furrow between his brows deepened. "Raven—"

"_No, _Robin," she cut him off. "I will make no compromises on this, least of all promises I can't or won't keep. I already had your blood on my hands—" the masked boy didn't flinch exactly, but she still caught the half-motion—"which you seem so eager to forget in your hunt for Slade. I will not put another one of my teammates in jeopardy because you're afraid I can't control my powers."

"I have _more than every right_ to be afraid you can't control your powers," Robin said sternly, and she could sense that he didn't appreciate how she had turned his speech into an insult. "You have done nothing but show me otherwise and you have offered no explanations for your lapses in control."

"First time, " Raven rattled off drily as if reading from something, "I lost control because of a nightmare. That has happened before, just not to so great of an extent, despite my training and meditation. The second time, I was still on edge from the dream the night before and Beast Boy's annoying habits have a tendency to push me over the edge." Seeing his expression she added, "That's not an excuse, it's an explanation. The third time," her mind raced for a way to downplay and trivialize it, but it was hard to do so when she vividly remembered tearing the walls off of buildings and ripping good chunks out of the asphalt. That and that she knew that she had had no control over that occurrence, no warning even. That had entirely been Satan's doing. "I had been under emotional stress and combined with everything else, that pushed me over the edge." She steadily held his gaze as he crossed his arms, unconvinced.

"That doesn't cut it, Raven. I've only seen you this shaken one other time…" he trailed off, unwilling to bring back up the possibility of her father's involvement. "And I can feel it too, Raven." He tapped the side of his head with one finger, referring to the old bond she had created when he was going mad under the influence of fear gas. "It goes both ways."

"I didn't tell you this because I'm hoping you'll understand and release me from these no-duty constraints," she sighed, softening her words so he wouldn't think she was being flippant, "I told you to offer you some form of explanation as our team leader. It doesn't matter to me whether you approve or allow me to again be on mission-ready status—if I feel that I am needed, I will go."

He sighed through his nose but did not offer any argument.

"We'll talk about this when you return. I have one more thing to address with you," he stated firmly. "This is really a more minor thing, but when you discovered the cave you insisted that we leave two team members on the surface. I know, I_ felt—" _and at this admission the Boy Wonder looked a little guilty as if he had just realized his potential intrusion "—that you wanted me to leave Beast Boy so I left Beast Boy. But I just want to clear up the why if there even is a reason."

Her brows raised in surprise. She knew he was perceptive and she had even thought to herself at that time that he would readdress it but she had also thought that since he hadn't brought it up right after the fact, he must not have noticed or given it much weight. After all, it wasn't too far outside of her typical behavior; she often maintained a voice of reason in the group.

Besides, this honestly was not something she thought he would focus on. He had bigger more important things to deal with but that was the nature of Robin's mind—the same mental tic which gave him his powers of perception, once he had noticed something, would not just allow him to drop it.

She lifted her eyes from the screen and let her gaze roam to the blurred desert around them. "It's personal," she muttered slowly, trying to decide her course of action.

"I think you and I are close enough, Raven; we've been in each other's heads…"

"It's not personal for me," she drew out slowly. Her gaze dropped back onto the screen and Robin's masked face. "It's personal for Beast Boy." She hesitated for a moment longer. "It's nothing serious, Robin. Basically, all you need to know is that Beast Boy has never fully adjusted to my powers, and I didn't want to take him down with us if I could help it."

"I see." Robin blinked once or twice. "That's honestly all there is to it? He just doesn't like it? This couldn't have any negative consequences on the team?"

Just the thought of the horrible screaming of those voices within the changeling's head made her break into a cold sweat. How he could have stood that for all these years without a word of complaint was beyond her. _Unless it's happening now because of a darker influence…_She tried to shrug that thought away but it remained.

"No," she half-lied, and the Boy Wonder visibly relaxed. She felt bad keeping this from him but she didn't think it was that important and besides she had already breached another's privacy far too much already in her lifetime.

"Well, that's all I wanted to go over with you so—"

"I'm not finished yet, Robin." Her eyes flashed at him and he started looking a little nervous just out of habit. Robin had always been fortunate enough to not be on the receiving end of one of her bad mood swings but he had seen enough to know what it looked like. "Why are you investigating Terra?"

The anxiety dropped from the Boy Wonder's face and he regarded her seriously. "Aren't you the one who said we shouldn't jump to conclusions?" she continued.

"I did but I never said that we should discount possibilities, especially since we have no other explanations."

"The guards all said that the perpetrator was a man," she threw in. Robin nodded once slowly as if he had already considered the fact. "And it easily looks like something my powers could have done. I'm not the only one with telekinetic abilities," she added stiffly, remembering the months of emptiness when he never came out of his room. The broken light in his eyes. The soft sound of an animal pining at night when it thought it couldn't be heard…only it was no animal…

The last thing he needed was a second betrayal.

Robin _did _look a little uneasy at the mention of the similarity to her powers but he did not address it. "I'm sorry Raven but it's all we've got right now. And I'm fully aware that the person we're looking for is a man but this could easily have been a two-man setup, or more, and the guards only saw one of the perpetrators. They were blindfolded and they could have easily attributed their motion underground to the man rather than to another person." After a terse moment in which they stared at each other and Raven's demanding gaze in no way shifted as if she understood Robin tried again.

"Raven," he said, and his voice dropped in volume as if he was trying to convey this to her and her alone. "I don't want to do this to Beast Boy either. But we have to at least check out the lead. It might be all we have."

"I'll look into it." Her eyes burned into his and even the fact that this conversation was all through a small screen could not reduce the potency of her gaze.

The team leader hesitated. He knew that besides Beast Boy, Raven had taken Terra's betrayal worse than all of them, for what he suspected were a tangled set of reasons. For one Raven had given Terra her trust and it had been dashed to pieces and her trust was not easy to earn as the years of living with the half-demon had taught Batman's prodigy. For another, she felt responsible. She had had her misgivings, strange moments when she stared at Terra as if trying to unravel a puzzle, and Robin understood this deeply. He had put his whole team in danger because of misplaced trust and lack of suspicion. Another of course, and the touchiest of all, was jealousy. And though Raven had made it seem as if it had to do with the ease of Terra's control which Raven struggled and meditated to maintain for years, in truth Robin felt that it mostly stemmed from jealousy over the green changeling in question. And letting Raven investigate was like inviting disaster in the form of a very volatile chemical mixture. In short, it was a very, very bad idea. "We'll see," was all he could manage, if only to placate her and Raven did not challenge him but there was a clear defiance in her cold eyes which stated that she would do it regardless of his approval. He'd never known Raven to be so rebellious before…which only supported his belief that Raven had a greater part in all this than she was letting on…

He nodded at her once to signal the end of their conversation and was on the verge of closing his communicator when Cyborg interjected loudly: "Well, while we're still on the topic of things that need addressing, does anybody want to explain to me why my medbay looks like a warzone?"


End file.
